The Starter Husband

[MatureDJ]

http://www.marieclaire.com/life/sex/advice/starter-husband

What a great investment:

One of my best friends from college barely scratched out a two-year union following her six-figure Hawaiian wedding.

The flippant attitude of another quoted author is incredible:

“I think women our age are like, We’re either going to fix this, or we’re going to end it, and that’s for the better,” says Kay Moffett, coauthor of Not Your Mother’s Divorce. She married her own starter husband in a funky, flamingo-filled Florida wedding at 27, then divorced him four years later after realizing she could never make the real commitment of having children with him. But don’t call her divorce a failure; in this enlightened world, it was simply a relationship that ran its course. “I think maybe we’re moving more toward a serial-marriage society — maybe you have three marriages in your life and several different careers. That’s where I’m heading,” she says.

Lady, you may be able to play this game until you hit your early to mid 30's, and by then the marry-go-round (pun intended) will be over for you. Of course at that time you'll be lamenting how men are "immature" and are "not ready to commit", and you'll be trying to shame them for pursuing young women who might actually think that marriage means something.

 

[StevenR]

On the bright side, at least it looks like business will be good in the foreseeable future for wedding photographers.

 

[OneEyedJack]

"Despite how it sounds, Andi is not a first-class *****."

Uh-huh...

 

[scottfall]

"Despite how it sounds, Andi is not a first-class *****."

Uh-huh...

Second or third maybe, but not first-class. Sorry Andi.

 

[insidious]

Yeah granted, that woman is a real bonafide case of Sleaze'ho. On the other hand, her husband is most likely an idiot.

Who the hell would get married with a 20-something chick who is immersed in career and high-class flightiness? Dude, get a clue, you deserved it. Weak and stupid guys will forever exist and fall prey to opportunistic *****es. Way of the world.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

...where she climbed the ranks, moving from one semiglamorous job to the next — all the while hooking up, dating, dumping, and moving on. She’s a perfectly modern gal, a gorgeous mess of neuroses and contradictions

What a lovely package. I can only wish I'd been fortunate enough to be her first husband just for the privelege of some time, however short, with such a pefect catch.

 

[Jeffst1980]

What a sickening article.
The good news, however, is that not all girls share those beliefs, and the ones that do are pretty easy to spot.

The article does pose an interesting point about the nature of relationships that have "run their course." I don't think that marriage should be the goal of every relationship--some only make sense for a limited amount of time. The mistake these women (and the guys that married them) made was to try to turn such a relationship into a permanent one.

I'm open to dating many types of girls, but I would only consider marrying a girl with traditional values. I've had some really healthy and fun relationships with so-called "feminists," but ultimately, they would not have made suitable wives. Same with party girls, girls with mental illness, drama queens, etc. This is just because I value the institution of marriage and want to marry a girl that values it as well.

Don't think that just because you've spend a few years with a girl you're supposed to marry her. Marriage doesn't really "evolve" from an existing relationship-- you almost have to "shop" for a marriage much like a new car. There's no sure bets, but if you're smart about it, you can at least improve the odds of your marriage surviving.

 

[Scaramouche]

Amusing fiction no doubt,but a long way from reality,the whisper down Under is that Gretchen Voss is yet another Nom De Plume for one of our own contributors....Does anyone really believe such women exist outside the pages of feminine fiction?....

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Just another of the many examples of drivel that people convince themselves of so that they can blame their failures on something other than themselves.

New paradigm of marriage, parents pressure, dead brothers, cluster X, [insert your societal label here]



Does bring up an interesting qualification aspect/sorting tool, though.

Does she blame her shortcomings/mistakes on other people/society (in general) or does she own up to them as her mistakes and experiences. A DJ with sufficient skills who is interested in a long term commitment should be able to glean the answers to these in the first few dates, and next her accordingly.

Good find OP. Can always learn something.

 

[FM 3321]

I read the first half of the article and found it pretty interesting. There are a lot of boring wussified men out there that end up getting married because they're rich and desperate for a woman. I will not be one of those men. I think I need to date a lot of women that I truly like before I settle down for one to marry if I ever do. That's my viewpoint today.

 

[legolas]

Don't you guys think that this whole shebang was basically all about the husband? When she married the weak, pathetic loser that Tucker was, she felt sucked up in his neediness and above all she felt BORED!! No way did she want to have his kids.

Then she met Dave. We don't learn much about this guy to complete the argument but either he was a real man and made her feel all bubbly OR she realized her baby clock was expiring and then finally had kids.

The emotional ramblings in between are just womanly nonsense

 

[speed dawg]

The emotional ramblings in between are just womanly nonsense

You said it all. When you get "it", you can d@mn near read their minds.

 

[jophil28]

Does she blame her shortcomings/mistakes on other people/society (in general) or does she own up to them as her mistakes and experiences. A DJ with sufficient skills who is interested in a long term commitment should be able to glean the answers to these in the first few dates, and next her accordingly.

.

Gold !Awesome insight.

This quote alone is worth more than all the "tutorials" and dissertations from the "experts" combined.