theSpeculator
Senior Don Juan
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Here are some excerpts from the book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden:
"If self-esteem is the health of the mind, then few subjects are of comparable urgency."
"The turbulence of our times demands strong selves with clear sense of identity, competence, and worth. With a breakdown of cultural consensus, an absence of worthy role models, little in the public arena to inspire our allegiance, and disorientingly rapid change a permanent feature of our lives, it is a dangerous moment in history not to know who we are or not to trust ourselves."
"The stability we cannot find in the world we must creat within our own persons. To face life with low self-esteem is to be at a severe disadvantage."
"Self-esteem is shaped by both internal and external factors. By "internal" I mean factors residing within, or generated by, the individual---ideas or beliefs, practices or behaviors. By "external" I mean factors in the environment: messages verbally or nonverbally transmitted, or experiences evoked, by parents, teachers, "significant others," organizations, and culture."
"I examine self-esteem from the inside and the outside: What is the contribution of the individual to his or her self-esteem and what is the contribution of other people? To the best of my knowledge, no investigation of this scope has been attempted before."
"Underneath all my work, the core idea I wanted to teach was: Your life is important. Honor it. Fight for your highest possibilities."
"Some of the most important things I learned came from thinking about my own mistakes and from noticing what I did that lowered or raised my own self-esteem."
(after interveiwing many different people about their problems) "I was struck by the fact that whatever the person's particular compliant, there was always a deeper issue: a sense of inadequacy, or not being "enough," a feeling of guilt or shame or inferiority, a clear lack of self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-love. In other workds, a problem of self-esteem."
"Now I began to wonder if the complaints or symptoms I encountered could be understood either as direct expressions of inadequate self-esteem (for example, feelings of worthlessness, or extreme passivity, or sense of futility) or else as defenses agaisnt inadequate self-esteem (for example, grandiose bragging and boasting, compulsive sexual "acting-out," or overcontrolling social behavior)."
"today I think in terms of self-esteem defense mechanisms, strategies to defend against any kind of threat, from any quarter, internal or external, to self-esteem (or one's pretense at it)."
"As the issue of self-esteem came more clearly into focus for me, I saw that it is a profound and powerful human need, essential to healthy adaptiveness, that is, to optimal functioning and self-fulfillment. To the extent that the need is frustrated, we suffer and we are thwarted in our development."
"Apart from disturbances whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem---from anxiety and depression, to unachievement at school or at work, ot fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependancy and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence---that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem."
"Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves."
"Throughout the world there is an awakening to the fact that, just as a human being cannot hope to realize his or her potential without healthy self-esteem, neither can a society whose members do not respect themselves, do not value their persons, do not trust their minds."
"When I spoke of personal integrity as vital to the protection of a positive self-concept, and the betrayal of integrity as psychologically harmful, no one volunteered agreement or wanted that idea recorded in our report. They preferred to focus only on how others might wound one's feelings of worth, not how one might inflict the wound oneself. This attitude is typical of those who believe one's self-esteem is primarily determined by other people."
"In working with self-esteem, we need to be aware of two dangers. One is that of oversimplifying what healthy self-esteem requires, and thereby of catering to people's hunger for quick fixes and effortless solutions. The other is that of surrendering to a kind of fatalism or determinism that assumes, in effect, tha tindividuals "either have good self-esteem or they haven't," that everone's destiny is set (forever?) by the first few years of life, and there's not much to be done about it....Both veiws ecourage passivity; both obstruct our vision of what is possible."
"My experience is that most people underestimate their power to change and grow. They believe implicitly that yesterday's pattern must be tomorrow's. They do not see choices that---objectively---do exist. They rarely appreciate how much they can do on their own behalf if genuine growth and higher self-esteem are their goals and if they are willing to take responsibility for their own lives. The belief that they are powerless becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."
Amazon.com Review
"If self-esteem is the health of the mind, then few subjects are of comparable urgency."
"The turbulence of our times demands strong selves with clear sense of identity, competence, and worth. With a breakdown of cultural consensus, an absence of worthy role models, little in the public arena to inspire our allegiance, and disorientingly rapid change a permanent feature of our lives, it is a dangerous moment in history not to know who we are or not to trust ourselves."
"The stability we cannot find in the world we must creat within our own persons. To face life with low self-esteem is to be at a severe disadvantage."
"Self-esteem is shaped by both internal and external factors. By "internal" I mean factors residing within, or generated by, the individual---ideas or beliefs, practices or behaviors. By "external" I mean factors in the environment: messages verbally or nonverbally transmitted, or experiences evoked, by parents, teachers, "significant others," organizations, and culture."
"I examine self-esteem from the inside and the outside: What is the contribution of the individual to his or her self-esteem and what is the contribution of other people? To the best of my knowledge, no investigation of this scope has been attempted before."
"Underneath all my work, the core idea I wanted to teach was: Your life is important. Honor it. Fight for your highest possibilities."
"Some of the most important things I learned came from thinking about my own mistakes and from noticing what I did that lowered or raised my own self-esteem."
(after interveiwing many different people about their problems) "I was struck by the fact that whatever the person's particular compliant, there was always a deeper issue: a sense of inadequacy, or not being "enough," a feeling of guilt or shame or inferiority, a clear lack of self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-love. In other workds, a problem of self-esteem."
"Now I began to wonder if the complaints or symptoms I encountered could be understood either as direct expressions of inadequate self-esteem (for example, feelings of worthlessness, or extreme passivity, or sense of futility) or else as defenses agaisnt inadequate self-esteem (for example, grandiose bragging and boasting, compulsive sexual "acting-out," or overcontrolling social behavior)."
"today I think in terms of self-esteem defense mechanisms, strategies to defend against any kind of threat, from any quarter, internal or external, to self-esteem (or one's pretense at it)."
"As the issue of self-esteem came more clearly into focus for me, I saw that it is a profound and powerful human need, essential to healthy adaptiveness, that is, to optimal functioning and self-fulfillment. To the extent that the need is frustrated, we suffer and we are thwarted in our development."
"Apart from disturbances whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem---from anxiety and depression, to unachievement at school or at work, ot fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependancy and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence---that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem."
"Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves."
"Throughout the world there is an awakening to the fact that, just as a human being cannot hope to realize his or her potential without healthy self-esteem, neither can a society whose members do not respect themselves, do not value their persons, do not trust their minds."
"When I spoke of personal integrity as vital to the protection of a positive self-concept, and the betrayal of integrity as psychologically harmful, no one volunteered agreement or wanted that idea recorded in our report. They preferred to focus only on how others might wound one's feelings of worth, not how one might inflict the wound oneself. This attitude is typical of those who believe one's self-esteem is primarily determined by other people."
"In working with self-esteem, we need to be aware of two dangers. One is that of oversimplifying what healthy self-esteem requires, and thereby of catering to people's hunger for quick fixes and effortless solutions. The other is that of surrendering to a kind of fatalism or determinism that assumes, in effect, tha tindividuals "either have good self-esteem or they haven't," that everone's destiny is set (forever?) by the first few years of life, and there's not much to be done about it....Both veiws ecourage passivity; both obstruct our vision of what is possible."
"My experience is that most people underestimate their power to change and grow. They believe implicitly that yesterday's pattern must be tomorrow's. They do not see choices that---objectively---do exist. They rarely appreciate how much they can do on their own behalf if genuine growth and higher self-esteem are their goals and if they are willing to take responsibility for their own lives. The belief that they are powerless becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."
Amazon.com Review
