The situational BETA

[backbreaker]

When you come to this forum and the manosphere in general you get a large dose of "go to the gym, hit the clubs, learn how to dress = women" . In this instance, this is what makes a man a DJ or an alpha male . I don't necessarily agree with that simplistic of a premise but hey.


But, what happens when because of life circumstances, you can't? And i don't mean, you are too lazy or you are tired when you get off work and don't feel like going to the gym, but I mean, you can't?

What about the guy who graduated from college and is living in Boston and can't go home to live with his parents and can't afford to go out and have nice **** and pay back student loans at the same time? What about the guy who is taking care of his elderly parents and he can't go out on a Saturday night? What about the guy who is starting a company and is sinking every dime and waking moment into his business and can't afford, in time or money, to "game women" or do the things that are required to game women?


You have what is then, a situational BETA male. A guy, who is not necessarily a BETA male, but becuase of circumstances, is forced to take a break from dating or is forced to be not be looked at favorably by women. Either because he's not fun, or he has no money or he's not "Hot" or whatever.


From my experience, this is far more commonplace than the cliche 28 year old virgin is. The avg guy isn't so f'n clueless with women that he just can't figure out how to talk to them, more than likely what happens is that life gets in the way in some form or the other and prevents him from being "desirable" by women that he desires.



I mean for all the blue / red pill talk ****, the avg guy pretty much knows to get women to look at you, you have to take care of yourself and not be a bum. This isn't rocket science. I mean of course there are guys who just, look like they have gotten gang raped by the ebola infested ugly stick and there are guys like 2 in particular on the main forum who can't get out o their own way when it comes tow omen, but I'm talking in generals.


There are some situations that can be and probably should be prevented. If you got raped in divorce court for marrying young, and now you are paying her child support or something, that's pretty much on you. If you are in prison or you can't get a job because you are a felon, that's on you buddy.


But not all. This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart, because I'm an entrepreneur. I went through this. Warrior is going through it now, solbuster went through it.



WE talk all the time about how to get women, but what do you do when realistically, you know in general for the most part what women respond / react to, yet for some reason, you can't / aren't in a position to provide that.



I came to this site about a good, actually it wasn't all that long before I started my business. I came here in April of 2002 and I started my business / filed incorporation papers on August 30th, 2002. It was a Friday if I'm not mistaken lol. So while I was starting my business I was realizing that all these things, this new fly wardrobe I had to get, I wasn't a BAD dresser but I still needed an upgrade, this club / drink money, all this time that I was to invest in gaming women, this money to invest in gym memberships and healthy dieting, I just did not have. not only did I not have it, I probably wasn't gonna get it anytime soon lol. \


That is a bitter f'n pill to swallow. knowing what you need to do yet not being able to do it. One of my cousins well not really a cousin but my dad and his dad are best friends so we call each other cousins, but he is no homo, dude is handsome as **** lol. But his little brother is always sick and his little brother lives with him so he never goes out. And his father got shot in the leg a while back and it has to be amputated so his dad only has one leg and he's getting up there in age so he's always doing stuff for his dad. He can't get out to be "alpha" and if this dude was in the club on a friday night 99% of the guys on this forum would not have a chance. Dude would own it.



This is why I never have, and never will equate being alpha / DJ with how many women you slay. It takes a real man to take care of a sick brother over going clubbing on a friday night.


I think at the end of the day, the goal is to not be a slave to *****. That has multiple meanings, it could mean not settling down with the first cute girl that likes you if she has red flags jut because you are desperate, it could mean not being afraid to put them off altogether if there are other things that you feel that need to be done.


I personally, and this is just me, not some sosuave mantra, cannot respect a man who feels he has some responsibility in life, rather it be make a better living for himself, or take care of someone and doesn't do it because he doesn't want to give up "the lifestyle".


Some things are bigger than sex. In essence, that's not BETA at all. It's understanding that women will come and will go. They will be there when i'm done doing whatever it is I'm doing now. And when I AM ready to date I'm going to be better for it because i"m not needy.

 

[slikkmeister]

Great post backbreaker... One of my bro's is a widowed single dad. He's probably one of the best human beings I have ever had the pleasure to know. His wife died and left him with 2 kids in his late twenties. He don't chase poon cuz he's too busy doing laundry and driving kids to soccer practice. But he's a true natural with the ladies. He has a fling here and there but spends 99% of his time with the kids. Just because he never remarried or doesn't have a gf doesnt make him any less of a man. It's actually the opposite.

 

[sodbuster]

Great post BB. A REAL man takes care of his sh1t and THEN worries about women.

 

[backbreaker]

my point being is that there are ups and downs in life. You can't define your life by if you are getting laid or not. There are going to be times where you have **** working for you and there are gonig to be times that women are going to have to be on the backburner.



Show me a man who never has a period of his life where women aren't at the forefront and I'll show you a man who is poor, uneducated and miserable.


I'll just use warrior as an example here. Say warrior gets an invite to a party and he wants tog et out the house and he goes, and he's at hte party and there are some women that he really is into and they aren't into him and they are into some other guys.. he can't get mad at the guys or the girls. As of now he's not appealing to them. That's just life. And it's not because he doesn't know what he's doing or the right thing to say or whatever, he just is not in a position to attract women right now.


The trick is to understand this and don't let your self esteem get down becuase of it.

 

[RagingBalls]

Being alpha for me is a man committed to his passion which also contributes for the good cause towards humanity. Dedicated in making the best version of himself. Is not afraid to stand up for what is right. Having a compassionate nature towards his loved ones and fellowmen. Motivates and inspires others to improve themselves as well.

 

[Warrior74]

If you are arguing over the definition of beta/alpha over the internet, you're gonna have a bad time.

I watch this video every week and I like Earl Nightingales Definition of success.

http://youtu.be/NSiPbuotH4c

I don't want to be alpha by internet manosphere standards. I want to be successful. by mine.

 

[crazyboy]

im too young for this forum but i turn 25 in july being alpha or beta i just too one dimensional. Human social structure is more complicated than a pack of wolves. At the base level there are some thing that make us more "alpha" like muscle, power, your sausages all contributed to it. But society judge us more than those primal attribute. This alpha beta debate is redundant even point blank stupid. Women choose men they are attracted or that can provided like men choose women base on there attractiveness and there ability to raise children for them. There are no alpha and betas in human society it simply doesn't exist we are too complicated for that. Do you honestly think bill gates or jay-z are alpha are far as true dominance no. but they use talents they have to achieve success. Any man given the will or determination can use there own talent to achieve success. And within that success then women would follow. Men for ages have gotten women before and never been issue of alpha or beta. There have been peasant who bang queens and slaves who have bang there slave master wife. All a man has to do is follow his natural given ability in his masculinity to achieve success with women. women are not complicated ,are generall horniess make it seem that way but they really not. If you stay true to yourself and what you believe then you will get what you deserve and want. LIfe is not fair and there are pitfall and trials for all. But if we going judge alpha and beta by who wet are ****s then we have a problem as men.

 

[zekko]

Show me a man who never has a period of his life where women aren't at the forefront and I'll show you a man who is poor, uneducated and miserable.

Right, I've said this many times, but the guys I know who get laid the most are guys I pretty much consider losers. These are not guys I admire, envy, or want to be. It's not that women desire losers, it's just that these guys put so much effort into getting laid, it's their life, their hobby, their passion. The reason they get laid the most is because that is the entire focus of their lives. They are constantly on the prowl, and they hit on nearly every female they see. It's all they think about - where their next piece of @ss is coming from.

These guys are employed, but they're going nowhere. Maybe it's too judgemental of me to call them losers, but I can't imagine living my life that way or being satisfied with it.

I've definitely been through dry spells when I was working full time and going to school, building my career. I simply had no time for women, except during summer break. Then I would date a bit, and when fall came around it was back to the grindstone. What's that they say? Make your mission your focus, not women.

 

[Scormus]

losers

It's not that women desire losers

I'm not so sure about that!

 

[zekko]

I'm not so sure about that!

Maybe I'm in the minority on this forum, but no, I don't think women desire losers. I mean, there will always be that group of damaged females who are attracted to like minded males. These aren't the kind of women you should be seeking out, however. But for guys who have nothing going for them, PUA theory will serve them well for attracting this bunch.

But think about hypergamy. When you apply the principles here about self improvement, and when you build yourself into a truly high value guy, then your'e going to see results. That doesn't necessarily mean you can just sit back and wait for them to show up at your door. You're still the male, you're the pursuer, you may have to put in the footwork (some really good looking guys don't have to). But if you look at a girl's dating history, and you are the highest value guy that has been interested in her, who do you think she is going to choose?

But you have to actually be high value, not just pretend to be high value in your mind. And you can't be socially awkward, there's nothing high value about that. Looks, money, power, status, game. If you're high value, her hypergamous instincts are going to kick in.

 

[Pandora]

Maybe I'm in the minority on this forum, but no, I don't think women desire losers. I mean, there will always be that group of damaged females who are attracted to like minded males. These aren't the kind of women you should be seeking out, however. But for guys who have nothing going for them, PUA theory will serve them well for attracting this bunch.

I just made a thread on this. I wish i had seen this before i made it lol. I totally agree Zekko. Most healthy girls dont desire losers. The PUA industry is oversimplifying this phenomenon. Nice thread Backbreaker btw.