The Secret Weapon that alot of you "Don Juans" are missing

[AFC Savior]

Charm

yea, you know that thing when you make a girl feel special about herself, but you do it in a smooth confident manner? thats what gets them into your bed VERY FAST - yet most chump AFCS (even the ones trying to become DJ's) are too stuck on c+f, kino, negs, trying to be funny, ect ect.......but really, you just need to CHARM the girl

im not going to BS you, a totally inexperienced guy will how no idea how charm works, and the ONLY way to develop it, is naturally, by going on lots of dates with lots of girls

there is no written technique about charm, because reciting anything that is written and trying to pass it off as your own charm will just come off CREEPY

charm will grow within you as you date more and start to love women more instead of being bitter pua robots who overanalyze everything like little girls

 

[Stéphane]

For once I sort of agree with you, but it's more about making them feel horny.

 

[AFC Savior]

For once I sort of agree with you, but it's more about making them feel horny.

combining sexuality with charm is exactly how every player gets all the girls that he gets

 

[KarmaSutra]

Although I (finally) agree with something you're saying, I think it's in the incorrect frame. Don't go out of your way to charm the girl, instead be a CHARMING MAN who exudes his confidence and sexuality. If you do anything FOR her you're still in a supplicating mindset, thusly fvcking your charismatic self.

I think this is what you meant to articulate.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Although I (finally) agree with something you're saying, I think it's in the incorrect frame. Don't go out of your way to charm the girl, instead be a CHARMING MAN who exudes his confidence and sexuality. If you do anything FOR her you're still in a supplicating mindset, thusly fvcking your charismatic self.

I think this is what you meant to articulate.

Sounds like you can discern the difference between charming and charismatic.

 

[reset]

I may be overdoing the ****y funny. When I'm talking to a girl I am usually busting her balls and putting her on the spot. I did this Friday with a girl, no I didn't approach she was working for Camel and came up to us but as soon as she did I sort of put her on the spot and grilled her on being a death merchant and stuff. The whole time she was smiling and laughing. I was having fun, she was having fun, but I was still giving her a hard time. But the whole undercurrent is "you and I both know I'm just busting your balls for the hell of it. I'm teasing you."

So she leaves and like rubs my shoulders giggling as she leaves and my one friend says "wow you were harsh", and my other friend says "yeah, keep it up that's what they like".

I know it SEEMS like I'm being an ass. But it's FUN, they're having FUN, I just like to get in their head and have a fun sparring match. I never would have the balls to do something like that a few years ago. But it FEELS right.

I always give girls a hard time and they like it. They always respond. It's not logical. I don't know if that's charisma but while it happens I'm in control, it's my frame, she's in my reality, period. And we both seem to enjoy it. I get touched a lot and playfully hit.

I know that was a weird post but I'm trying to make sense of one friend saying "you're mean!" and another (the one who gets laid) saying "right on!"

I don't think I'm a dyck even though I act like one sometimes.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I may be overdoing the ****y funny. When I'm talking to a girl I am usually busting her balls and putting her on the spot. I did this Friday with a girl, no I didn't approach she was working for Camel and came up to us but as soon as she did I sort of put her on the spot and grilled her on being a death merchant and stuff. The whole time she was smiling and laughing. I was having fun, she was having fun, but I was still giving her a hard time. But the whole undercurrent is "you and I both know I'm just busting your balls for the hell of it. I'm teasing you."

So she leaves and like rubs my shoulders giggling as she leaves and my one friend says "wow you were harsh", and my other friend says "yeah, keep it up that's what they like".

I know it SEEMS like I'm being an ass. But it's FUN, they're having FUN, I just like to get in their head and have a fun sparring match. I never would have the balls to do something like that a few years ago. But it FEELS right.

I always give girls a hard time and they like it. They always respond. It's not logical. I don't know if that's charisma but while it happens I'm in control, it's my frame, she's in my reality, period. And we both seem to enjoy it. I get touched a lot and playfully hit.

I know that was a weird post but I'm trying to make sense of one friend saying "you're mean!" and another (the one who gets laid) saying "right on!"

I don't think I'm a dyck even though I act like one sometimes.

You definitely use c/f differently than I do. The thing that matters though is whether or not you are achieving your goals with each woman you do this with. If it's working to your satisfaction I wouldn't sweat it. What's interesting is that you see what you are doing as being similar to being a d1ck.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Not a bad post, but I dislike the analogy of seduction techniques with weapons.

Can you taste the irony?

It's one of my biggest regrets.. naming my most famous writings with that ominous title.. I thought it was clever, but didnt realize the implications it carried with it.

IMHO, natural seducers dont have an arsenal of weaponry. If I were pressed for a better metaphor I would say they have dance maneuvers and charm is the rhythm by which they step.

Charm cannot be forced.. it occurs naturally when you are in tune with the interaction.. the music you make together. You are totally improvising, but from the outside it looks as if you rehearsed it all because you are so on point.

Rather than bombard her with what you think will charm her, you let yourself fall into a rhythm and before you know it, the both of you are gliding along, sharing moments and your feelings / desires are in harmony.

At certain points you will almost have a telepathy going and complete each others thoughts. This is not to say you cant disagree or create tension - a true master can be both difficult and charming at the same time, but I digress..

It's all about knowing the music, when to dip, when to spin, when to lead and push and when to fall back. It has nothing to do with logical thought.. you are just flowing.. the feeling is total freedom and people are really drawn to that.

Some folks have it naturally, others practice endlessly to get it down. But once you get your tango on, you will be able to handle women (and people in general) with ease

 

[reset]

You definitely use c/f differently than I do. The thing that matters though is whether or not you are achieving your goals with each woman you do this with. If it's working to your satisfaction I wouldn't sweat it. What's interesting is that you see what you are doing as being similar to being a d1ck.

That is what is interesting. That is my natural personality when I'm not worried about how I'm coming off, which is more often. But I think part of how I used to be is saying "dude be nice!" But the fun part says "ooh a chick! Let's play". I'm probably making it sound worse than it is. I bust their balls then back off a little, then they bust my balls and that's what's fun.

And when it's over I feel great and sometimes I look around and people are looking at me like "wow, I can't believe you said that to her." Or a friend will kick me or say "dude you can't talk like that to her!" And sometimes I can't believe the stuff I say, and can't believe that it got a good reaction. And that's when I question myself.

Probably my old past conditioning that I have to supplicate and if I'm just being myself then I'm in danger of losing something. That's why I posted this. I haven't totally made the transition to not caring yet. But at least while it happens I don't care.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That is what is interesting. That is my natural personality when I'm not worried about how I'm coming off, which is more often. But I think part of how I used to be is saying "dude be nice!" But the fun part says "ooh a chick! Let's play". I'm probably making it sound worse than it is. I bust their balls then back off a little, then they bust my balls and that's what's fun.

Dude, you're just flirting. Guys should wish to do so well. They are usually going through a predefined list of personal objectives that they miss the whole interaction thing with the woman. As long as they are responding with equal fervor it's all good!

And when it's over I feel great and sometimes I look around and people are looking at me like "wow, I can't believe you said that to her." Or a friend will kick me or say "dude you can't talk like that to her!" And sometimes I can't believe the stuff I say, and can't believe that it got a good reaction. And that's when I question myself.

Didn't I post something a while back about listening to the advice of friends who are AFCs? Y'know, the whole misery loves company thing.

Probably my old past conditioning that I have to supplicate and if I'm just being myself then I'm in danger of losing something. That's why I posted this. I haven't totally made the transition to not caring yet. But at least while it happens I don't care.

Well, you should consider periodically asking yourself whether you'd prefer doing what's comfortable or doing what works.

 

[reset]

Thanks Francisco.

Didn't I post something a while back about listening to the advice of friends who are AFCs? Y'know, the whole misery loves company thing.

Yeah. I thought about that today. Instead of laughing or saying "nice" or something he said "wow you were pretty harsh". I really have to learn to rely on my own instincts. And surround myself with positive people who are good with women and/or have high self esteem. This is a big can of worms for me, just like the job. Anyway.

Well, you should consider periodically asking yourself whether you'd prefer doing what's comfortable or doing what works.

I'm doing what's comfortable. Sometimes I can't believe that I can do this with girls and that they respond the way they do, "oh it's ME, this isn't right. Girls don't like you. Something's off here" and it's come from years of being in the matrix and having AFC friends who say stuff like "dude, guys like you and me don't pull chicks" but I'm flirting and they are liking it and it's me doing it so obviously, I have an innacurate self image.

Wow this got deeper than c/f.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Wow this got deeper than c/f.

Glad that you recognize this. It's not a bad thing but you're getting into the authenticity part of it, the part that a lot of guys call "natural." I don't like that term because guys may believe that they couldn't attain a level which seems "natural-like." You're proving that it can be learned and guys can evolve to become natural-like by enhancing their authentic self.

 

[reset]

I'm going to figure this stuff out. It's sort of forcing me to make many different decisions in life I've been putting off, but that's what men do.

Thanks dude.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Being purposeful in your actions is a good thing.

 

[joeybear140]

Saying that you need to be charming is good but what does charming mean? I think we can break this word down more.

 

[AFC Savior]

I agree charm is key. I find Prince to be very charming in photographs, obviously a key in him banging hot chicks and looking hot.

wtf troll?

 

[AFC Savior]

Troll? Whoa nelly, take it easy. People know me around here. I left but now I'm back.

I was just stating my opinion. Relax clown.

yea your the skip to my lou imitator troll loser peice of shyt

get off my thread and get a ****ing life

 

[reset]

Didn't this start in mature man? AFC if you're over 25 you should put your age in your profile and the stuff won't get moved.

 

[AFC Savior]

Didn't this start in mature man? AFC if you're over 25 you should put your age in your profile and the stuff won't get moved.

nope i started it here, and im 23

 

[reset]

my mistake.

Don't feed trolls. EVER.