The Rush of Fake Confidence

[whistler]

A lot of new DJs burst out of the gates, feel great, meet some girls, and die down to a simmer in short order.

A big problem is overconfidence. Actual confidence is gained from the inside out. If you have confidence from day one, it's probably not real confidence--not the kind that will infuse your every thought and action. What you have instead is a high and an illusion that you're more powerful than you really are. That rush will push you beyond where you should be. Your temporary "super-confidence" may be perceived as arrogance, and a player attitude. Be careful. You can burn some bridges without realizing it.

Anyway, I think that's path one.

Path two starts the day when you start working on yourself: start working out, being methodical about approaches, sharpening your appearance.

Path two grows at a slower, but more steady and reliable rate. It's the turtoise to the hare that is path one.

Remember, confidence is attractive because it suggests you have other qualities that a female wants in a mate. You can't have real confidence without having those qualities. True confidence is a biproduct.

So build your body, your wit, your financial independence, your ability to lead socially. The rest will come (including the women) in due time.

 

[Triple X]

Good stuff.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

same thing happened to me, im not sure that high ever really wore out. Thing is with certain things i am high in confidence when other people are not but with certain every day things i seem to be low on confidence.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I feel like my light has simmered down. I was one who came out of the gate, had my way with women, mustard up the balls to cold approach and even close. Now, it seems, that I know Im selling junk. My goal of now is to become a complete person and have more than just an act, but a real life.

 

[theSpeculator]

A lot of new DJs burst out of the gates, feel great, meet some girls, and die down to a simmer in short order.

I have notice this problem with many guys here. I think this maybe a normal step in a DJ journey. While most guys will give up, there are some who will learn from this initial set-back and somehow create the will to work hard on improving themselves. They will eventually develop the true confidence from inside themselves. It is these few guys that will become the real DJ.

As for confidence, I agree it can only be built from the inside out. Think of bricks. To make a wall strong, you must lay the bricks carefully in layers. With additional layers of bricks making the wall stronger. That is how strong confidence must be built. Layer by layer.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

I did not give up, because its somthing you have to di, theres nothing to loose, and you need to do it or you will fail with girls.

Its a bit like this, you are in a room with some people that are going to kill you, they have guns and are as far as you are ware unless they are bluffing, plan to kill you latter that day. One of them puts his gun on a table, if you can get to the gun and shoot them you can escape.

Would you run to the gun and give it your best, to try and shoot them and escape, or would you sit there thinking, if i fail they are going to kill me.

It is exactly the same scenario because the worst you can end up with is where you are now. Unless you take the jerk thing to far and make every one hate you.