THE road to your ideal <READ IT>

[Lifeforce]

I have found a fatal flaw in the entire relgion of this site. Pook says, Be A MAN, kill your desperation and to improve yourself. I love the stuff pook writes and the way his posts have changed my life, I just found it a little bit incomplete. It is easy to say, stop being desperate, become a man, have a passion. Well I bet many of you don't have the passion for life and no matter on how hard you try you never seem to reach the dream state of which fingerz and pook talk about.

I have pounded at this problem for a while and I have discovered what is wrong with my approach. Well let's look at what is the focus of self improvement on this site, I bet in 90% of the case it is to get sex and girls. They motivate their improvement by getting girls instead of the passion for life. Why is that? Because this is what is lacking in their lives. They feel the overpowering need to fulfill this need over and over.

You see, when pook and fingerz wrote the stuff like WOMS and Be a man, they already had it figured out, they had easy to get the girls so they could focus on other things. Like having a passion for life. Most people here don't have this foundation when they start so trying to skip ahead to fulfilling their life is very hard, I would even dare say: almost impossible. Therefore people get stuck in a vicous cycle where they want to fulfill the ideal of improvement which everyone speak about, yet they never experience the passion, just a constant revelation that more improvement will make them feel the passion.

"Ok, so now you've said all this, what is the meaning of this post and why is the name of it "THE road to your ideal"? Are you trying to trick me? Talk about this road!!!"

Yes, my point is that you cannot skip ahead and try to feel passion, as little as you can't fly before you can walk. You have to listen to yourself. So if the stuff I have written fit you then follow this road and you will reach your ideal. Let your journey begin. You came here an AFC and now you are ready to leave your jail that keep your life down. It is a sunny day when you depart, the strong winds strenghten your courageus spirit. As you walk along the road and the open landscape, you see a city in the distance.

 

[Lifeforce]

FIRST - THE CITY OF SEX

When you arrive you meet a beautiful woman which look very wild and uninhibited. She looks at you and says:

"I can see what you lack in your life. I feel your burning desire to improve yourself but before you can do this you must listen to me. I can give you the first stepping stone to reach your destination. Touch me, make love to me and you will see how the sky will seem higher and the sun will shine brighter. "

"Why are you offering me this?" you say.

"One cannot become truly happy or try to reach ones own potential before you feel the touch of another human being, I represent your body, what it needs, without me it will scream for me louder and louder until you listen to it. Without me your every thought will be on how to satisfy your body, your every improvement, your every action will be to satisfy it. When I am with you I can make you see further"

"I see, before I can improve myself i must satisfy my needs for intimacy and sex."

"Yes and no, you should improve yourself but with the goal of getting me into your bed. This is all you have to think of, the rest will come with time."

You make love for many hours, the next day you wake up you feel stronger, more positive and ready for the challenge.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

"On top of the world but, and suprisingly my mind insn't occupied by sex! I must leave and travel to the next city."

"Then I will acompany you or your journey to your destination will never be done. You will only turn around and seek me out. Now I will be there if your body misses me. Let's leave the masses of the DJs on sosuave and travel further. When you get past trying to get sex and have a constant supply of it you can travel forward and be on your way."

You travel to the next city. On route you walk through a dark forest where you feel very nervous and unsecure, low voices seem to float through the air and the moon is coloring the forest gray.

 

[Lifeforce]

SECOND - THE CITY OF SECURITY

The next morning you reach the next city and a palace guard greets you.

"Greetings, I have been waiting for you. I have been assigned for your protection. Before you can travel any further down the road you will have to face yourself. Any life cannot funtion if it doesn't have security and stability. To find what is out there in the unknown you will have to have a place to fall back to. A place where you can feel safe or else everything is the unknown. I have been assigned to make you feel secure in your home. If there is anything in your life which make you feel unsafe or unsecure I want you to improve your life with security in mind. If you hurt yourself, feel threatned, have any problems in your home, bad self confidence or anything that jeapordize your sense of security I want you to find a solution to it."

You spend some time to build a house and to build up a foundation of your life. This place you can always call home and here you will always be safe. But you feel very secure and ask why this is so important.

"The sense of feeling secure is something most people take for granted, but when the security is stripped away they become vurnarble. Take your home for example, you might find it secure but if a pack of bandits came at you the sense of security would vanish and you would have no time for self improvement. Your security is your foundation for life!"

You sleep a night and the next morning you are ready to leave. In front of you there is a dark forest and you feel threatned. The palace guard approah you.

"I will acompany you on your journey. If you ever want to reach your destination I must be there to safeguard the stability of your life, your self confidence and your security. With me you will always be secure."

When you travel down the road to the next city you can't help to notice that the palace guard and the woman doesn't say a single word. At first it doesn't bother you but soon you feel you want somone to share your thoughts with, and someone who is like you and who understand you. You feel alone in the world and want to be a part of something.

 

[Lifeforce]

THIRD - THE CITY OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

When you reach the third city you met a man and a woman. As you talk you discover that the man share your thoughts and you have many discussions about different topics. You realize as you spend time with him that he make you feel secure, he make you feel that you are a part of something and someone you can share thoughts with. Having friends are a crucial part to reaching your destination. If you lack people who you have deep connections with I want you to think why and what you can do to find a solution.

The woman make you feel things you have never felt before, it is deeper than friendship or take another form of it. You feel that she understand you, she respect you for who you are and what you will be, give you recognisition, attention and respect in right amount. This form a strong bond between you two. You feel that love is a very important part of being alive, it make you feel more happy, more vibrant and many other positive feelings.

All is fine but inside you feel that something is missing even with sex, love, friendship and security. You begin to travel down the road and after a couple of days you find a mystical city surrounded by a dome. The guards approach your group.

 

[Lifeforce]

FOURTH - THE CITY OF PERSONAL DISCOVERY

"Halt! Only you may enter" he says and point towards you. "This is for you only and no one will be able to help you in here."

You agree and enter the city. Thoughts begin to penetrate your mind. You see flashes of things that you are doing, you realize what you are good at, what your strong points are with your life, the things that characterize you. At the same time you see the things you are not good at, things you don't do very often. It may be a little harder to see but knowing yourself will also point the path of what you one day will be. Discovering who you are, your values, dreams, passions and your limits will help you to shape your future. This understanding will come over time, just dare to look at yourself and see.

A person in a cloak greet you, he says:

”I can feel you have much desire of life and deep below I can see your dreams and hopes. Now there is something you should know, many people live of what their mind tells them. Sometimes they have values which hinder them from reaching their dreams. Some may like to paint but are afraid that society will condemn them as being weak and others may want to lay half the planet to be a real man and to show off for people around them but deep below doesn’t have the emotional need of this.”

”So what is your point?”

”My point dear DJ is: You will never be happy if you have one goal set for your mind and one set for your emotions. This will split you in half and condemn you to unhappiness. Live as one, listen to what your heart tells you. If you try to change this need by fear or to please others you will discover that finding your happiness this way will be like chasing your own shadow. Also, your needs will change with time and with how you change as a person. To prove my point, every day in life you met people, how many of them are vibrant and truly happy? I say 1 out of 100 or even less. Many of them have some goal set up for them because of society and the demands on them but want something else from life. Some are split in two, others are just lost. Too few listen to themselves.”

”I see.”

”Now I will travel with you, every time you want to make a decision in life I want you to look at me to remind you of doing what you really want and not to please society.”

After some time you return out and are greated by your friend, the palace guard, the lover and your love. You begin to travel to road once more and once more you feel many urges to do things, to fish, climb mountains, scuba dive, jump parachute, fly a plane, cook food, paint, weight train, do acrobatics, learn how to tell stories, join a political group, make a change… and all the other things you want to do. You reach another city.

 

[Lifeforce]

FIFTH - THE CITY OF PASSION FOR LIFE

The group speaks to you, ”We can see that you want to do many things, we cannot acompany you, this is your life and you must discover it yourself, we will however be there by your side and share your happiness but you will be the one responsible for your life. Find your passions, make them a part of your life.”

You leave the group and travel into the city. A man speaks to you:

”You have travelled far. Now you are finally here, this is your destination.”

”Well it makes me wonder, why can’t I just travel here at once? Why can’t I just do that?”

”You cannot because you are not ready then. If you try to come here at once you will disover that you fool yourself, your improvement, your every part of life will not have to do with passion but to please your bodies needs. The passion comes from enjoying the things you do, not on how well they can help you in the seduction of others.”

”I see, but exactly is this passion? How do I get it?”

”Inside you will have many dreams, things you want to do with your life, when you have, sex, security, friendship, love, have discovered who you are you can strive for your dreams in a completly different way. All these needs will not cloud your mind. You don’t fish to get sex, you don’t join a group only to get friends, you don’t play the guitar to get women and to find your love, you do it for yourself. And if you have discovered who you are you will find something that brings you passion.”

”Yes, I understand.”

”So now, indulge in everything you want, you will feel the passion for life.”

 

[Lifeforce]

Some final stuff

Now, to feel this passion you have to go from the foundation of your soul. Many here are stuck in the first city, sex, and only sex. It will never make you happy no matter who you are. It is crucial for your life but it cannot be your life. Find a way to quench your thirst for sex, have a **** buddy or two.

Many here belive that love is a AFC thing, oneitis and I can see how many people try to rid themselves of this emotion. In this way they hinder their own lives and put them back to square one. Love in my opinion is crucial to life. Now the difference between being AFC in love and DJ in love is huge. The AFC sees love as their final destination, the DJ want to travel further, to get a passion for life and to share it with the girl and the friends. He does not build his life around love as AFC does, he builds it around his passion for life. Love is just a need to be met, but he has a life beside this too. AFCs seek out sex and security and believe it is love. Every DJ know that this isn’t the case.

So to sum things up, if you want a passion for life you will have to fulfill some other needs before.

I really hope this post have helped you. The poll is so I know if I should continue to write stuff here when I discover new things in my life or if I just should STFU!

LIFEFORCE

 

[A-Unit]

I like your style, pal.

Fantastically well-thought out post.

I applaud your setup, delivery, and communication style.

For those lacking such areas, I "hope" they get what you are saying. Take some time, reread this article, and other top articles as well.

Props on a well written post. Stay in touch, my friend.

End.


A-Unit

 

[jiza101]

So this basically tells me how to get a good life correct. How do i manage to get sex, :/, im guessing you want me to lower my standards :? so i can fulfill the part considering im a virgin. Friends, well all my mates bag eatchother i dont think i have a friend who i could have a really serious conversation with. Lover, dont know how the hell i could get one :/. Passion for life, atm i dont have any major passions, i just do the same thing every day, im yet to find this passion i need .I dont really undersant myself either. This does however show me how crap my life is and how good it can be if i achieve these 5 things. I like your post but how exactly do i get all these things to make my life basically complete.

 

[Lifeforce]

Thanks A-unit, replies like that really warm my heart.

Originally posted by jiza101
So this basically tells me how to get a good life correct. How do i manage to get sex, :/, im guessing you want me to lower my standards :? so i can fulfill the part considering im a virgin. Friends, well all my mates bag eatchother i dont think i have a friend who i could have a really serious conversation with. Lover, dont know how the hell i could get one :/. Passion for life, atm i dont have any major passions, i just do the same thing every day, im yet to find this passion i need .I dont really undersant myself either. This does however show me how crap my life is and how good it can be if i achieve these 5 things. I like your post but how exactly do i get all these things to make my life basically complete.

Yeah, so you have every reason to improve now. Do one step at the time, not everything at once, or you'll just stand and tug at a 1000 lbs weight instead of lifting 100 lbs at a time. You know what you must improve.

To get sex huh? I belive that a nice exterior is THE most important part when looking for sex. The other one is C&F and at last having some stuff in common. The first I can help you with, the rest you must do yourself.

On your exterior here are the stuff you should consider:

* Hairstyle! Go to the hairdresser and ask the hairdresser to give you a haircut that fit you and is trendy. Then spend some time practicing on styling your hair. Look in magazines on the male models for ideas that will fit you. Consider doing this before you go to the hairdresser. Avoid too low price hairdressers and seek the ones out where most teens go. The low price hairdressers in my experience cut every customer the same way. Going to a popular place for the teens you can be sure they know what hairstyles are IN.

If you feel very brave consider dying your hair, I got alot more attention from girls with darkbrown/black than with cendré coloured hair.

* Acne! If you have it go the the pharmacy and ask for anti-acnecream, MAKE SURE IT CONTAIN BENZOYL. PEROXID! Apply every day and NEVER EVER skip. It will make wonders. Some guy also recommended using hot water on your face and then use a toothbrush to get rid of blackhead, make sure you are careful doing this.

* Clothes! Look at the popular guys, what they are wearing. Read at homepages of clothing stores, read about it on the internet. Find out what is in. Then go buy yourself some new clothes. This make a huge difference. Before I used to wear chinos all the time, and when I changed to more popular clothes I started to get more attention. Just make sure that the clothes fit together. IMO buying stuff from H&M is the best bet. Cheap clothes that look good.

* Jewlery! Consider getting something around your neck, and a thumb ring or something around your forearm. Chains look good. A watch is good to have too.

* Shoes! THE most important part of any outfit, this is the part where you should not be a tightwad and instead spend some quality cash, because nothing gets better attention than a man with some really nice shoes. Also, make sure they fit your clothes. Get two pair of shoes.

* Tan! If you are pale you will in most peoples eyes be (much) less attractive. Go to a tanning place and work on the tan. This is really important!

* Muscles! Alltough many women say that muscles look bad and that they don't like it, most WILL like it, at least the more attractive ones. Just this month I had a girl go berserk over my legs, she was like "Feel this! I can't belive it, it is hard as rock"... and then her friends touched my legs. Stuff like that make all your hard hours in the gym totaly forgotten!

So in other words, go over to "health and fitness" look at the stickies there "Guide to bulking up" and "Guide to cutting". Follow these and put on some mass. If you are fat go with the cutting guide, if you are skinny go with the bulking. If you already train, then good for you.

* Scents! You must smell good to, get a deodorant that smell good, avoid all that cheap crap and go for something a little more original. I go with
Lagerfeld , it smells fantastic! It's good if you shower every day but schampoo every other day like fingerz says, cover your stink areas, crotch, feet, armpits and a$$ and the crotch again just cause it's fun

Eau de Toilette is also something you should consider getting. It is expensive like hell, but it will give you the cutting edge. Once you get one it will last for a long time. I go with Kenzo since fingerz use it.

* Shaving! Use gillette mach3. Nothing beats it, whereever you want to shave.

That's the main stuff to think about with appearance.

For C&F read indy's post, read fingerz WOMS.



Not too many guys have friends they can share anything with, or at least they haven't tried. It seems that girls usually are much better on having deep friends. In my experience most people will listen when they feel that the stuff the other person say is really important to them. Some won't and **** them. Give your friends a chance, usually it will deepen the friendship to share some thoughts that most people don't know, they'll feel priviliegued. I'm not suggesting to go all serious on everything, but if some person is uninhibited or open themselves up, people around them do the same too.


Yeah I think that's about it. Wait, one more thing, to get sex you must be 100% sure that you want it, some people are afraid of sex and they feel just soo much pressure and they haven't even tried it yet. I don't know how many girls I burned that wanted to have sex with me but I was afraid of the thing. Don't expect to be a turbolover at the first try and don't try to give you pressure that you must satisfy her on the first try.

LIFEFORCE

 

[jiza101]

Thanks for your reply
appreciate it

 

[Papi Jack]

You know... I felt the same way. I felt that there was something missing in between where i'm right now and where i'm going.

Your post makes a lot sense men. I will read it couple mor times.

Thanks.

 

[CapiCrimini]

AHHHHH..... you picked the sencond and third highest chroma's.... It burns... Why not use All Yellow next time?

I really liked your post until it went to flaming red and blue... You couldn't have picked other colors... or do you just feel attracted to the highly bright irratating ones?

if you wanted to irratate me and **** my eyes... you accomplished so.

I HATE YOU.

Your post was okay and a good subject though didnt' really accomplish or give me anything new except a headache... Congratulations you are the first poster to give me a headache through colors... keep on trying... to explain and be a DJ... not give me fvcking headaches...

not a personal hit... just try to be lighter on the colors...

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by CapiCrimini
AHHHHH..... you picked the sencond and third highest chroma's.... It burns... Why not use All Yellow next time?

I really liked your post until it went to flaming red and blue... You couldn't have picked other colors... or do you just feel attracted to the highly bright irratating ones?

if you wanted to irratate me and **** my eyes... you accomplished so.

I HATE YOU.

Your post was okay and a good subject though didnt' really accomplish or give me anything new except a headache... Congratulations you are the first poster to give me a headache through colors... keep on trying... to explain and be a DJ... not give me fvcking headaches...

not a personal hit... just try to be lighter on the colors...

Great post Lifeforce. It really helps to be reminded that taking a bite, chewing it, and enjoying the taste truly "mastering" it is essential before moving on. Often we feel the path to a DJ is an immediate, almost easy one. However, this, as you've mentioned, is not true and we must take it step my step or be overwhelmed.

Capi, stop being a pvssy. Do colors really hurt you so much? ow...mommy red hit me today.

 

[Don Pablo]

Great post man!

 

[Lifeforce]

I want to add a few more stuff since the first post. Well I don't believe in killing that desperation. There are many great posts that really boost you up when you read them and at the same time IMO they miss it all out. We are desperate for a reason, we want something and we are willing to pay much more than it is worth to get it.

If you kill your desperation in your mind then you will mask it in some other stuff, fooling what you really are looking for. It is as simple as that. So this is a trap to avoid: If you are desperate you know why you are desperate, you know what you have to focus on. Getting sex, looking for a partner, better job, etc... And WHEN you get this, your viewpoint will change 1000%. And you will be 1000% sure that nothing you do will have anything to do with the object of your desperation.

If you are desperate for sex and are able to get it, this desperation will disappear just like that. You will see the next place where you have to go. There is no need to jump ahead at all, NONE AT ALL! You can't learn to play the guitar in one day, you will have to start with a few simple chords, and then learning to play them on after each other and maybe playing solo guitar with one finger.

**** this DJ mentality which tells you to build up a happy life and not focus on women, it will give you no pleasure to build it all up and still have the same problem as when you started and the only reason you built up your life was to get a women, see the irony? This is not a protest against self improvement, but goddamn it if you want to improve, START IN THE BEGINNING NOT IN THE END! You don't build the roof on a house and the foundation last, that way of building houses is very much time wasting having to do a lot of extra stuff, this applies to changing your life too. Do what matters to you, not to fulfill some stereotype of the DJboards. If you want women then SAY THAT YOU WANT THEM! Be desperate, make them the focus of your life. Because all this will change as you grow, listen to yourself and once you get them. So focus all your improvement on reaching this goal.

Capi: You're the perfect example, go get a pill against headache and it will stop hurt. You don't build up a factory that produces anti-headache-pills and then say "There was no reason I built factory because of my headache at all!", you buy some pills. Because it is easier, you don't have to focus on headache and you will save yourself time.

This is my opinions only and they may be entirely wrong or entirely true. And to Don pablo, papi and AFK very much thanks for the replies.

edit:
One more thing, building your life up if you are desperate for chicks will leave you with a built up life with the purpose of getting chicks. If you're content your life will shape in a completly different way.