The road to oneitis

[Medic]

So I'm sitting here at 3:30AM typing instead of sleeping. Last Saturday I took a big step toward joinging the DJ Brotherhood by landing a hot little HB8.5 at a wedding reception. A little CF, attention mixed with ignoring her, even had her bringing me drinks from the bar. Lots of guys hitting on her but I closed for some heavy macking in my room. Yes!! The DJ Bible is the path to salvation for the AFC!

Called Monday night and talked maybe five minutes to set up a date for this Saturday. So why am I not sleeping the sleep of the (not so) innocent? I can't stop worrying about the date. What if she doesn't really like me? What if she cancels? Every frikin AFC insecurity is flying through my head. Sh!t!!

It comes down to this: I don't feel like I'm the prize. Right now, it seems like I was just lucky to get as far as I did and it will all fall apart.

Alright, I know the solution to this: spin more plates. (Thanks Rollo) Problem is, it's hard to find plates worth spinning. I like my plates petit, smart, and strong-willed and there happens to be an acute shortage of petite plates in the Washington, DC metro area. If I would settle for the fat-assed women so common around here I could probably score like a master DJ. It just jacks my jaw that I'm working hard to be in shape and live an interesting life to have to settle for a bunch of bon-bon eating cows. (Whoa! Do I sense some buried anger?)

I guess what I'm leading to with all of this keyboard diarhea is that I'm finding it hard to carry through the DJ principles beyond the pickup. This girl is the first I've landed on the strength of my game which makes her seem special. I need to let go of the idea that she's the ONE and just enjoy the process. Win or lose, I've gotten farther than I ever would have in my AFC days.

Medic

 

[Desdinova]

I can't stop worrying about the date. What if she doesn't really like me? What if she cancels? Every frikin AFC insecurity is flying through my head. Sh!t!!

Dude, she's given you plus signs all around. If she really didn't like you, she would've brushed you off. Instead, she responded to you and gave you her number. Those are good signs of high IL.

If she cancels, so what? Either she'll want to re-schedule, or she won't. If she doesn't, she's a flakey b1tch who isn't worth your time. If she does, she's still interested in you.

It comes down to this: I don't feel like I'm the prize. Right now, it seems like I was just lucky to get as far as I did and it will all fall apart.

You don't feel like the prize yet because you haven't experienced a lot of success. If you keep pulling women like this, you're gonna feel a helluva lot better about yourself, and you'll naturally start feeling like the prize. You've only started working on your game. Once you have it down, you'll feel unstoppable.

For the first date, do the same things that you did to attract her to you (minus ignoring her). Keep up the C/F and Kino, and she'll continue eating out of your hand.

Remember, she is only one of thousands of women. If you fvck up, you'll be able to get another one. If she flakes, you'll be able to get another one. There's tons of women out there to choose from.

I like my plates petit, smart, and strong-willed and there happens to be an acute shortage of petite plates in the Washington, DC metro area.

When the picking seems slim, you just gotta dig deeper. Go sarging in the places where your ideal woman would be most likely to hang out. Not all of them go to bars and clubs. There's a whole underground network of women that don't appear in the bar scene. To find them, you just gotta keep digging!

Good luck on your date. While it may not happen for a while, you'll get one helluva rush when you find yourself dating more than one woman.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by Medic
It comes down to this: I don't feel like I'm the prize. Right now, it seems like I was just lucky to get as far as I did and it will all fall apart.

This is all you needed to post.

You weren't lucky; you used skills that you had never employed before and they worked better than you'd expected. Congratulations.

You will only get what you've gotten if you keep doing what you have done

You changed your approach and you succeded -

DO NOT go back to your old methodology mid-course now. You have to set a precident in your behavior.

Don't call her (more than once a week), keep conversations short and to the point of meeting for a date face to face

DO NOT get to know her over the phone, do it face to face.

DO NOT tell her your life's story on the first date. Information about yourself should be like little treats she gets to discover about you when she asks, NEVER offer her this information.

Keep her qualifying herself to you.

If she flakes, oh well. Nothing lost, nothing gained, except for the knowledge that your Game is getting good enough to pull HB 8.5s.

Go into this with a PRIZE mentality. This is exactly why I always say that all the PUA skills in the world wont kill the inner AFC, you have to kill it as a conscious decision. PUA skills are necessary tools, but you have to decide that you are the PRIZE. Like I said, you didn't get lucky, you proved yourself as a commodity that she values - otherwise you'd never be going out with her. Stay in command, stay decisive. Have a plan and expect success.

 

[Medic]

Solid advice as always guys. Thanks.

I've got this new knowlege in my head but it hasn't made it to my heart and soul yet. I'm hoping with practice it will become more reflexive instead of having to constantly be on guard against the inner AFC.

After my post, I went back to bed and slept like a baby. I know that this forum sometimes fills with useless drivel but, at the core, it's a resource unlike any other. Working through this is changing what has always been a painful aspect of my life. Where else can you get that for free?

As far as a more target rich environment, I hear Salsa lessons come highly recommended. Think they can teach someone who dances like a dead white guy?

Medic

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Medic. Im sure not everyone agrees with my advice but.. if you can't sleep because you're going on a date tomorrow, then you need to seriously change that mindset.

I suggest you go out into the field (bar, library wherever) and strike up conversations with girls. And i dont mean do it when you feel like it, i mean talk to EVERY girl (black, white, azn, tall, short, skinny, fat) when you're outside and then ask for all of their email/phone numbers.

What this will do is it will make it natural for you to use C&F when talking to girls. Also, you WILL get rejected! I would rather you get rejected like 10 times and not care about rejection anymore in a month (or so..) rather than walking on eggshells for a whole year trying NOT to get rejected.

Seriously, when you go out, TRY to get rejected. It'll help you in the long run.

 

[Medic]

I hear what you're saying about loosing the fear of rejection. I've been working on that. Problem was, I wasn't mentally ready for what happens when you're successful.

To help, I'm working on getting more plates spinning so I won't have all my eggs in one basket.

To that end, last night I struck up a convo with a cute nurse heading into work at the hospital. I was chatting her up and she seemed to have a pretty good IL. I was leading up to asking her out and asked her about her weekend. She says "I'm busy Saturday. I have to meet with my daughter's probation officer."

RED FLAG! Drop the conversation, back away slowly and nobody gets hurt!

Jeez. Only in my world. Anyway, I did number close another nurse who doesn't have any kids so that's two cooking.

Medic