the report of the first dance party of my life...don't judge this post by its title!

[Drug_L0rd]

ok, some of you probably read my last post where i posted that i had a fear of dance parties, so i decided to get rid of my fear i had to stare at it right in the face. so i did.

this is basically what i -- a boy who hasn't been to a properly organised dance party before in his life -- did last night.

read and tell me if its good for a complete begginer.


ok, so i tell one of my friends to come with me and he accepted.
i felt a little confident knowing that i had a few moves that i had learned from friends and practice. before i left the house i told myself that no matter what i was going to have fun.

so i wear some nice clothes and we get there.

when we were outside the club, looking at the nice chics with or without their boyfriends was sort of intimidating but i shook it off, paid my ticket and went inside.

my friend and i decided to check out the different areas of the club first before we started dancing. judging by the fact that my tongan and samoan friends had taught me the C-walk i thought i would be more natural in the hip-hop room but as soon as i stepped in the dance music room...damn, this feeling, this rush took over my body.

and i started to love the dance room even though i didn't know how to dance for sh!t with glowsticks. some how my body just moved to the music and it looked damn good. too bad there weren't any chics my age in the dance room. so i go to the hip hop room and decide to just look around more before getting physical with any girls -- my first BIG mistake, i'll explain later.

so i decide to start approaching, keep in mind on the streets i'm almost completely not scared to approach anymore, just *sometimes* a little hesitant. i see this honey wearing a white, short, tight mini-skirt, i didn't even look at her top and i started to walk towards her to dance with her, but a problem arose as i reached within two steps of her: the little *****y voice inside my head said "hey, you've never been to a dance party before how are you going to start the dance with her? pfft, just walk away you dont have the balls to ask this girl to dance" so i listened to it and i did change my path to a little open aread just outside to clear my mind.

i put my head in my palms and scream to myself inside saying "get it together you pu$$y, you're here to have fun. what if something happened some time soon...God forbid...and you never got the chance to dance, to go out, to do what you wanted to do. would you say you've lived your life the best you could?"

with that said, i knew what i had to do. i approach, tap on her shoulder and motion to her to dance with me with a smile. she politely turned around and said "i've got a boyfriend", i frowned sarcastically and was gonna say "then what the hell are you doin here without him?" but i wasn't willing to scream my head off for someone to just here a few words. so i let it be and walk away still with a smile on my face, happy that i actually asked.

as the night goes by i realised that i had made a really big mistake not going for the girls as soon as i got in the door because by the time i was psyched up all the nice girs were taken, but hey, my first dance party so i decided that i'll live and learn.

anyway putting that mistake behind me i decided that i'll try to find another girl, i kept switching between the dance room and the hip-hop room when my friend comes up to me and says there's this girl dancing alone.

i told him to "GO THEN, dance with her" but he is now basically what i was before i came to this site, a little shy and cannot dance as well as me so he tells me to go and dance with her. i told him to show her to me. he did so without hesitation, without listening to the little-***** voice inside my head i moved in, stood facing her on the side and gestured her to dance with me. she looked nice but was obviousely at least a year or two older than me. at first she had this expression on her face that was sorta saying "what the hell's this guy doin?" as in she looked a little uncomfortable but i told myself to ignore it and keep dancing because she didn't turn away so i made myself assume she liked it.

i busted some moves. i thought of putting my hands on her side and rubbing them along her up and down but something told me that she was going to be uneasy with it, that thought might of been my second mistake, what you guys think?

anyway we danced till the music ended and then we stopped, i smiled, brought my head next to her ear and ask her name, "Samantha" she said as she reached out with her hand to shake mine, i shook her hand and introduced myself then walked away -- probably my third mistake but hey, again, you live and learn.

i walked away with a smile from ear to ear just extremely happy about what i just did and it felt fvcking good. i sat down, my friends comes up to me and asks my oppinion on whether he should go dance with her, i told him to go for it but there was someone already dancing with her for the song. so i told him to wait for the next song, but someone else got her before my friend did on the next song aswell so some bad luck for him there.


there was this girl who looked at me for a while, i was just about to approach but my friends who i met at the dance party unexpectedly wanted me to follow him and by the time i came back i couldn't find her but doesn't matter.

ther was also this other girl who was looking at me, our eyes met and i approached, tapped her on her shoulder. this one, like the last one, turned around and said she had a boyfriend and, again, i wanted to ask her "what the fvck are you doing here without him?"

HOLY SHIRT, i just came to the realisation that all these girls that i approached were actually in a group, god damn, i approached a group of girls...HAHAHAHAHA, i'd never really done this on the streets you know, YEAAA. and i wasn't even aware that these girls were in a group when i was approaching, actually i was aware but i somehow didn't care.


anyway, a bit later i saw that girl that i was dancing with again and decided to go dance with her again but she was dancing with this group, a big group, all girls.

so anyway i go behind her and decide to do something i saw that night, that didn't work, but i'd heard of so much, i.e. start butt grinding and hopefully she's go with the flow. so i start grinding a little behind her touching her a little at first the when she notices me that whole frikin group that she was dancing stops and just starts staring at me, man, that was freaky. but i just smile and walked away after which my friend told me to start going home.


i was in the dance room and there was this guy who was just pure testicle. his face will be the first image that will come into my mind whenever i think of being gutsy from now on. lemme tell you what he did.
i was in the dance room and the whole crowd just forms a circle, and whoever had the balls would jump in and start dancing. at first this chic comes in with her glow stix and starts goin at it. then all i see is this guy, without any hesitation just jumps in, appraches her from behind slowly, bends on his knees and does that ass slapping motion to her. ahh the whole crowd was lovin it. from that point on everyone recognised him, he got attention because of his confidence.

things i learned:
- when you get to a dance party start dancing with the girls straight away
-psyche yourself up BEFORE you get inside
-if you don't have confidence, forget it, a dance party's not for you
-approach who ever you like, especially if they make eye contact
-if you get a chic dancing with you for one song, stay with her unless you really want to move on and find someone else to dance with
-you have to find some way to get a little more physical with the girls
-dance parties have got to be the best place to get your confidence up, the amount of rejections is just amazing
-i will go to every dance party i can from now on, yea baby!

things i want to know from the people with experience:
-first and foremost, was the above something good for someone who's never been to a proper organized dance party ever before in his life?
-was the way i approached good? is there a better way to do it? any ideas?


thank you for your time, i really wanted to get this out.

 

[Maurizio]

Nice. Not bad at all.

You danced (which is more than the average guy can say) and you kept the confidence up and the game flowing even after being told off by two chicks with boyfriends. Very good.

It seems to me that you did everything well, and drew some good conclusions (yes indeed, it is absolutely KEY to be psyched the heck up BEFORE getting there), but failed to actually make a close with a girl. I guess you didn't have too many opportunities to do a close other than with the girl who was, as you put it, one or two years older. What kept you from closing her? After a dance you gotta just suggest going someplace a bit quieter for a talk, if that's turned down then the IL is too low, and if she follows you, then you're in!

Seeing that other guy get in the circle and be crazy should be a lesson to you. Not necessarily suggesting that you should jump in with a girl and smack a$$ (that guy was pretty lucky to not have been shut down by the girl for doing that) but never be afraid to be the center of attention. As a matter of fact, that should be your goal in the future.

Out of curiosity, what was the age range at this party?

Again, good job. This sounds like a promiscuous start to a long future of partying!

- Maurizio

 

[Drug_L0rd]

Hey thanks Maurizio.

this was an under 18s party. you're right maybe i should have tried closing it with that girl, it's just that i thought she was a little too closed up and sh!t.

but who cares, i got heaps more parties to go to from now on and heaps more chances like that will arise from them.

 

[De La Soul]

Aaah Crush. The memories... (I'm assuming that you're talking about Crush!)

Anway, Drug_L0rd, I'll keep it as short as I can, and I'll get to the point.

1. I noticed you often approached girls by tapping them on the shoulder. Try to avoid this. You don't want to appear to be sneaking up on girls but instead, make eye contact with them, smile (perhaps wave) and approach immediately.

2. You did fine for your first night at a dance party like that, but you didn't do BRILLIANTLY. In my day as a Crush-goer, I would be able to pick up easily (and I was not *great* with girls back in high school) and my friends could too (even the most pimply, greasy ones!). So don't get too ahead of yourself! You've done well because you've learnt from what you did right as well as what what you did wrong, and you know what to expect now. Now you can stop worrying about what you should expect, and start concentrating on EXPECTING SUCCESS from yourself.

3. Anything goes. As long as you're not pissing anyone off (don't go up to a big Samoan dude and tell him he should move his hips more when he dances!), do what you want to do. You don't seem to be having any confidence problems with dancing, but you seem to be hesitant about approaching girls (who are also dancing). The thing is, DANCE PARTIES LIKE THIS ARE JUST EXCUSES FOR HORNY TEENAGE GIRLS TO DRESS IN SKIMPY CLOTHES AND BE SEXY!! Don't feel ashamed to approach on the dancefloor.

4. Be direct. Approach straight away. Don't mask your intentions. Be proud of yourself and what you want.

5. What were you wearing? I'm just curious... and often you can do better just through buying some better threads!

I think you knew most of that stuff anyway, I'm just laying it out for you so you can digest it easily. You did well. But now you can do a lot better. Keep improving, buddy.

PS. What nationality/race are you? "Wog"? "Leb"? White? Asian? Purely out of interest, did you notice a big presence of any single nationality? In my memory, there were always huge groups of lebanese kids who used to think they were hard as hell going to these events... But it was usually the Greek/Italian wog boys who did best! Myself, I'm a white guy but I used to go with a few wog friends who'd always do well. What were your observations? Did any of the "leb" boys give you trouble?

Keep going hard,

De La Soul

 

[Drug_L0rd]

De La Soul do you live in Sydney? no way man , why didn't you say so.

expect a PM from me.

to answer your questions:

1) gotcha

2) a part of me is pissed off for not getting some action, as was expected. but another part of me feels that i'm still part of the minority that do aswell as i did that night, so i don't really care that much.

to me this is sorta like losing your virginity, you want it to be with a *HOT* chick the first time you do it, well i wanted to do MUCH better but the mistake i made at the beggining -- i.e. not approaching as soon as i walked in but instead waiting like 20-30 minutes to be fully psyched and sh!t -- let that down but who cares, you live and learn. i'll definately do better next time.

3) hehe, no everyone was pretty much friendly. and the part about approaching without tapping on their shoulder --> it's already imprinted in my brain, i shall not forget.

4) *Mr. Burns*: excellent

5) i'll tell you what i was wearin, i'm assuming you live in sydney, and i'm also assuming that you've been to the "yd." clothes shops, damn the new button long-sleeve shirts they make are NICE. you know, the ones that look like they need ironing but they really don't, that's the way they were made. i've got the one with the brown and white and the black stipes, i'm thinking of buying a couple more to complete a collection of them.

yea i was wearing that shirt, semi-baggy jeans and white basketball shoes.

i knew i shoulda worn the tight tank top i bought at the markets, damn...next time i will.


ahh and i'm Iranian, everyone reffers to me as a wog. and speaking of a single nationality the leb guys always know what they're doing, e.g. that guy that i mentioned near the end of my post that was doin the ass-slaping motion to the girl in the circle was leb i think.

it's so weird all the wog/lebs have this way with the girls, will i get it? i guess just going to the dance parties will get me there eventually because they have such a high amount of confidence with girls. ohh, i'll get there alright.

and about the leb guys giving me trouble. nah, i live in auburn (in case you don't live in sydney its a suburb packed with wogs, it's basically the whole middle east in one suburb HAHA), and i always see the lebs and i know the way they work, what ticks em off and how not to tick em off. but most of the poeple were pretty friendly. besides noone in their right mind would start trouble with the size of the security guards there.

thanks and check your PM.