The reason for your divorce

[Tenacity]

Social Leper,

I don't have an issue with short or long term relationships with women, I have an issue with legal relationships with women (i.e. marriage). That's been my stance all along due to the Family Court laws that no amount of "screening" or "qualification" can address.

 

[The Duke]

She says she was confused & says she thinks she might be lesbian. I was tore up, pretty grossed out too cause the girl was not attractive at all. I was like damn why couldn't she atleast be a hot!

lol, mine did & said the same thing when she cheated! And I shook my head when I saw what this girl looked like. I've always noticed that when you sit and compare stories there are a lot of similarities. Human behavior can be very predictable at times.

 

[expos]

lol, mine did & said the same thing when she cheated! And I shook my head when I saw what this girl looked like. I've always noticed that when you sit and compare stories there are a lot of similarities. Human behavior can be very predictable at times.

It's interesting who your partner decides to cheat on you with. Why are they almost always sinfully ugly? Is it a power thing? If the person they cheat on you with doesn't have the greatest looks is it because they (the affair partner) lack some sort of confidence and are they easily controlled?

I always thought that the biggest reason I was cheated on is because I wouldn't waver and wilt to every stupid demand she through at me. Whereas, if you lack self respect, they can easily get away with just about everything.

 

[The Duke]

Expos- My dad is very good at understanding people and always thought the demise of my marriage had a lot to do with a power struggle. She never could "control" me like she wanted to. I always did my thing regardless of what she thought. If she liked it then great, if not...I went by myself.

 

[expos]

Expos- My dad is very good at understanding people and always thought the demise of my marriage had a lot to do with a power struggle. She never could "control" me like she wanted to. I always did my thing regardless of what she thought. If she liked it then great, if not...I went by myself.

Lots of similarities between you and I here. I'm sure what you were doing wasn't out of line in anyway, but just good rational decisions. But still, it isn't good enough. What is it with women and control?

It's sounds like you and I were both married to the stereotypical princess who got their way all throughout life, and once they had to compromise it was completely foreign territory for them and they didn't know how to deal with others needs or emotions - hence a true power struggle.

I'm not surprised my ex-wife remarried this ugly beta slob who makes good $$$. He looks like a complete doormat. In fact, it's exactly who I expected would tolerate her BS.

 

[midnightsun]

I got out of an eight year relationship and was engaged, so not divorced, however, a lot of people don't even make it that long.

Ex background:

--Parents were divorced for over 15 years, so primarily raised by a single mom. Mother has been married five times. Children with four men.
--Ex was college educated, with a great career
--Polar opposite of me. She was not outgoing, socially awkward, but polite.

We started dating our freshman year of college. Dated for 6.5 years before I proposed.

It was sudden. Both of us had flaws, but I ended it.

Things that bothered me the most were the fact that money always felt like an issue (Penny pinching to the extreme). What I did, what I bought, etc. I have one strong hobby/passion, and I always felt like it was an issue. Harboring emotions or things that bothered her that I did.

Aside from that, I was always expected to go to every family event she had, but when invited for the one two per year for my incredibly small family, she declined (I'm tired, I have to work tomorrow, etc). She even found a way out of my only cousin's wedding. The final nail in the can was purchasing a puppy behind my back without really talking about it. Yes, purchased. I'm big on rescue animals and she knew it bothered me. Plus, our communication was horrible. It was not much talking, and a lot of Netflix. That's fine from time to time, but not forever.

We haven't had communication for a while, so I have no clue if we would be able to work things out, but in the meantime, I'm working on myself. In a way, I have found it to be liberating. But, there's many times I'd give an arm for another night just hanging out on the couch.

Things you take for granted sometimes bite you in the rear.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

This sounds brutal, Hockeyfreak. The questions I have are....

Divorce paperwork was brutal, I couldn't tell you how many hours research I did & then wonder it if was going to be acceptable. The day my divorce was finalized was great tho. The 27yr latina I was seeing gave me a great present, she was very supportive. :rockon:


1) Why did you want to marry a single mom?

I didn't know any better, I come from a large family. Was following social standards I suppose, build your career find a woman and settle down. All my friends were doing it. We dated 4 years before marriage, 1 year engaged. I'm not going lie the bluepill in me was excited to buy her a ring. I don't think there's a drug out there that could duplicate the high I felt for the following 48-72hrs.

You were 25 at the time, did you not have options for something better?

Was raised & told to only date 1 woman @ a time (sisters would shame me too) she s*cked me in pretty good, said all the right stuff. Was an ex-Hooters girl with all the right assets. No rush to re-marry or have kids.
I suppose I could have found a chick with no kids that was not in a rush to have any or rush to marry, I just didn't. Introverted no outside game, met her online...imagine that!

2) You mean to tell me in the 5-6 years you have known her, she never had any type of crazy behavior that made you question her?

Only crazy stuff I remember was dreams about her abusive ex, I'd do what I could to comfort her but at 1 point I got fed up and just said maybe you should talk to a psychologist. That might not have gone over too well.

Other than that undiagnosed medical issues, random sh*t docs didn't have answers too, sum they did. I think the real crazy sh*t didn't happen until she realized I was no longer "in love" with her. When you break a womans heart that's when they go nuts on you.

3) Where is she today? Is she remarried? Did she ever apologize?

Living in the town she grew up in, I think she might be. Don't know, don't care really. I think about & hope her son is well, that's all really.

Yes, she apologized a lot actually. She would say I'm sorry I ruined your life. I think I may have hurt her more than she hurt me. After we split up she confessed to me that she "made love" for the first time in her life. ---OK
And she hoped that 1 day I would do the same.

4) Did she not learn anything from her first marriage? How quickly did you get with her after divorce?

She was 21-22 I think, I doubt she learned anything from her 1st marriage.
I don't remember all those facts, she lived in a different city, moved back to her home town maybe 2-3 months and then we met. I think she was still married but got divorced finanlized maybe 6mo in of us dating.

 

[expos]

Sorry you had to go through this. At least you got away relatively clean.

That would be your first red flag. :yes:

 

[YawataNoKami]

Three years working for the court system scare the sh1t out of me.Never been married , never will.

 

[englishman]

I got married a long time ago when I was 19. I had citizenship for 2 countries and was in trouble with the law in one, so took off to the other and took girlfriend with me.
We got married so we could stay there, then we had to go back as her mother got terminal illness.
Then we had a kid.
We lived in project housing and it was chaos.
We bust up badly, she got into heroin and I raised the kid.
She met a guy that had just got out of jail.
He had a motorcycle and they crashed it.
She banged her head and that was the end of her short life.
Me and him were going to kill each other.
So I left there again and came over here with my kid.
He died of some drug overdose ****.
I didn't do any of that and I'm still here.
I'm doing OK, still banging beauties, and got my own business and $'s in the bank.

Sounds like bulls*it but it isn't.

 

[Zarky]

At least you don't live in New Jersey:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/artic...-home-for-husband-stuck-with-lifetime-alimony

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Top 3 reasons for my divorce:

1: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****
2: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****
3: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****

-Augustus-

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Just found out that even though Bisch is the word for female dog, it won't let you post it.

Some serious filters here! LOL

-Augustus-

 

[Tenacity]

Top 3 reasons for my divorce:

1: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****
2: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****
3: I married the wrong woman and she became a Psycho *****

-Augustus-

Actually the top three reasons for your divorce are:

1: You got married
2: You got married
3: You got married