countermart
Don Juan
The real secret to getting girls is the same secret for success in life....here it is...wait for it....
TRY.
Yep, that’s it. As I am now getting back into this game and working on my own issues I realise the one common denominator is simply try.
Of course you are all going to say, “Well that is darn obvious, it’s all been said before”, we don’t need to remember that. But is it?
The guy that is a success tried. They don’t complain, they don’t grudge the danger, they don’t over intellectualise, they don’t avoid the pain of temporary failure, they don’t let fear stop them, they don’t spend long hours contemplating does she like me, will it work, can I do it, how do I do it, what does she mean by that etc, etc? They don’t listen to other people that say you can’t, or it will not work. They don’t succeed all the time, but they do TRY, and because they try they succeed.
Han – “Never tell me the odds”, and another example of a 1000 to 1 shot.
One reason we fail to try, among many, is we weigh up the odds, decide they are too long and don’t try. But our feelings, our perceptions, are often very wrong.
Years ago I was working and living alone in the country and met a good looking blond working at the same place, but living on the other side of the property. She was slim, 19, spent the day riding horses, and well, you can fill in the rest in your imagination.... . We met the night a foal was being born. I asked her to go to the pub, and there we were a few nights later. She started saying how the girl she was staying with, another worker on the property, was such a pain etc. I sat back, beer in hand, and thought....1000 to 1....chance at best. “Come and live with me”, I said. In a week I was living in the country with a very sweet girl, who much later asked me to marry her! I said no...and I guess that was the end of that...but it was fun while it lasted.
Other guys on the property were like, how did you do it? Well, I used that incredible secret of success, I tried. I asked her.
The one common denominator in any life success I have had is I tried. When I did not try, I failed. The real failure is not in trying and failing, it is in not trying. By not trying failure is effectively guaranteed.
What prevents us from trying? Many things, but some important ones relate to pain and caring. Try, but do not care about the outcome, after all, if it really is 1000 to 1 then you should not be disappointed if it doesn’t actually come off should you? If you place too much emotional energy into succeeding you will often not try because you magnify the potential pain of a negative outcome. Something I am still working on. Not caring about the outcome will help you to simply try, and simply trying can change your life.
How much of our lives have we left on the table, because we did not try?
I have a terrible feeling I am being told by life...”Look you fool...I made her for you, I made her beautiful for you, she played the violin for you, she wore the green dress for you, she smiled and laughed for you, I gave her the apple that she might share it with you, I placed her alone that night in the same compartment for you...she turned one last time on the train station and asked with her eyes for you...and you let her disappear into the crowd, for want of what?”
“You made her too beautiful, I thought it was a 1000 to 1.”
“No, it was a certain shot, and you didn’t take it.”
“Does she ever remember me, like I remember her?”
“No, she only remembers the man that tried.”
I write this for myself to always remember to TRY, and in the hope that by being reminded of it, it may help you as well.
Countermart
TRY.
Yep, that’s it. As I am now getting back into this game and working on my own issues I realise the one common denominator is simply try.
Of course you are all going to say, “Well that is darn obvious, it’s all been said before”, we don’t need to remember that. But is it?
The guy that is a success tried. They don’t complain, they don’t grudge the danger, they don’t over intellectualise, they don’t avoid the pain of temporary failure, they don’t let fear stop them, they don’t spend long hours contemplating does she like me, will it work, can I do it, how do I do it, what does she mean by that etc, etc? They don’t listen to other people that say you can’t, or it will not work. They don’t succeed all the time, but they do TRY, and because they try they succeed.
Han – “Never tell me the odds”, and another example of a 1000 to 1 shot.
One reason we fail to try, among many, is we weigh up the odds, decide they are too long and don’t try. But our feelings, our perceptions, are often very wrong.
Years ago I was working and living alone in the country and met a good looking blond working at the same place, but living on the other side of the property. She was slim, 19, spent the day riding horses, and well, you can fill in the rest in your imagination.... . We met the night a foal was being born. I asked her to go to the pub, and there we were a few nights later. She started saying how the girl she was staying with, another worker on the property, was such a pain etc. I sat back, beer in hand, and thought....1000 to 1....chance at best. “Come and live with me”, I said. In a week I was living in the country with a very sweet girl, who much later asked me to marry her! I said no...and I guess that was the end of that...but it was fun while it lasted.
Other guys on the property were like, how did you do it? Well, I used that incredible secret of success, I tried. I asked her.
The one common denominator in any life success I have had is I tried. When I did not try, I failed. The real failure is not in trying and failing, it is in not trying. By not trying failure is effectively guaranteed.
What prevents us from trying? Many things, but some important ones relate to pain and caring. Try, but do not care about the outcome, after all, if it really is 1000 to 1 then you should not be disappointed if it doesn’t actually come off should you? If you place too much emotional energy into succeeding you will often not try because you magnify the potential pain of a negative outcome. Something I am still working on. Not caring about the outcome will help you to simply try, and simply trying can change your life.
How much of our lives have we left on the table, because we did not try?
I have a terrible feeling I am being told by life...”Look you fool...I made her for you, I made her beautiful for you, she played the violin for you, she wore the green dress for you, she smiled and laughed for you, I gave her the apple that she might share it with you, I placed her alone that night in the same compartment for you...she turned one last time on the train station and asked with her eyes for you...and you let her disappear into the crowd, for want of what?”
“You made her too beautiful, I thought it was a 1000 to 1.”
“No, it was a certain shot, and you didn’t take it.”
“Does she ever remember me, like I remember her?”
“No, she only remembers the man that tried.”
I write this for myself to always remember to TRY, and in the hope that by being reminded of it, it may help you as well.
Countermart
