The REAL reason most guys failt at Cold Approach/Daygame

[Zimbabwe]

There is a lot of misinformation pushed by shady PUAs trying to sell their rubbish courses ro desperate lonely men, they publish staged infield videos that give the wrong impression about how easy it is to pickup girls just by approaching them. It doesn't help that they throw the newbies right into the deep end by forcing them to approach 10 girls randomly.

Cold approach is one of the hardest methods of finding a girlfriend, it is not easier and it does not get easier over time. What guys need to know is they have to be very mindful that the vast majority of women will not be interested in them at all no matter how good their game is.

Daygame is a great way to meet women, it's hard but the struggles do make the end reward worth it. It is a great way to improve your conversation skills and lower inhibitions.

Just don't go into daygame expecting to pick up girls straight away, and don't expect any of it to be easy.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

Cold approach is one of the hardest methods of finding a girlfriend.

Nope. This is only true for the guy who has no idea how to tactfully get a stranger talking and then build a connection.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Nope. This is only true for the guy who has no idea how to tactfully get a stranger talking and then build a connection.

Aren't you the same guy who was simping over @catsmeow2 and @BeExcellent

 

[DoubleBarrel]

Aren't you the same guy who was simping over @catsmeow2 and @BeExcellent

Yup! That's me! Read my sig.

 

[Parallelophone]

I'm a stranger. There's nothing you're gonna say to me that's gonna pull me away from my errands for more than a few seconds, and even then it's only because I want you to leave me alone. Best case scenario. Worst case? I'm afraid of you. But I'm absolutely not "interested" in you.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I'm a stranger. There's nothing you're gonna say to me that's gonna pull me away from my errands for more than a few seconds, and even then it's only because I want you to leave me alone. Best case scenario. Worst case? I'm afraid of you. But I'm absolutely not "interested" in you.

You are oblivious to what Charisma can accomplish.

 

[Parallelophone]

You are oblivious to what Charisma can accomplish.

Then it should work on me.

This, I think, is the copium a lot of people are huffing in the seductionsphere. "Yeah it sounds impossible, impossible to the common man. But I have studied various secrets that can make the impossible possible." I promise you, there is no amount of charisma that can make me want something I wasn't already looking for. You're not gonna "change my mind" with charisma..

 

[DoubleBarrel]

Then it should work on me.

This, I think, is the copium a lot of people are huffing in the seductionsphere. "Yeah it sounds impossible, impossible to the common man. But I have studied various secrets that can make the impossible possible." I promise you, there is no amount of charisma that can make me want something I wasn't already looking for. You're not gonna "change my mind" with charisma..

Who said you weren't already looking for what the man with Charisma has to offer you, but just didn't know it? And lest we forget, never underestimate the magic that is a strong "frame"; it envelops the weaker and they then seek to appease. The man who speaks with resonance and projection causes others who lack that quality to go along with his designs. His power causes others to submit to his reality and his direction. If I struck up a conversation with you while we were waiting in line to buy beer, you would be sad when I got my beer and had to say goodbye.

 

[Parallelophone]

Who said you weren't already looking for what the man with Charisma has to offer you, but just didn't know it? And lest we forget, never underestimate the magic that is a strong "frame"; it envelops the weaker and they then seek to appease. The man who speaks with resonance and projection causes others who lack that quality to go along with his designs. His power causes others to submit to his reality and his direction. If I struck up a conversation with you while we were waiting in line to buy beer, you would be sad when I got my beer and had to say goodbye.

I'm a very small person. I still don't have time for big guys. If you (a big guy) chat me up (a small guy) in any line, what's actually going through my mind as you talk to me "Wow, I don't actually have anything of substance to say to this person. I'm just trying to be polite, but the brutal honesty is that I just wanna be left alone to buy my things. I got **** to do today. I mean, I appreciate that he's trying to be friendly and I wish him well, but I don't have anything to offer him."

It's like the homeless asking for alms. It's equal parts an inconvenience. I don't dislike the homeless, but man I wish I could've just finished my errands without these distractions and complications.

On the other hand, if I always wanted to give alms to the poor or make friends at the liquor store, I know that. I'm not unaware of what I want.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Mods can you please remove these two trolls from my thread, they are derailing the post.
Please ban @Parallelophone and @DoubleBarrel

 

[SW15]

Cold approach is one of the hardest methods of finding a girlfriend, it is not easier and it does not get easier over time. What guys need to know is they have to be very mindful that the vast majority of women will not be interested in them at all no matter how good their game is.

Daygame is a great way to meet women, it's hard but the struggles do make the end reward worth it. It is a great way to improve your conversation skills and lower inhibitions.

Just don't go into daygame expecting to pick up girls straight away, and don't expect any of it to be easy.

To me, there is nothing controversial about this opinion. In my experience, approaching strangers in a non-bar setting with romantic/sexual intentions is one of the toughest things that can be done. It's going to have a low success probability. Even men with semi decent game are going to take a ton of rejections.

Having height and big muscles have the potential to really help in doing non-bar approaches. If you're a 6'0+ guy with a good tan and big muscles, you have an advantage in approaching in the gym and fitness classes primarily, but also could do well in some other non-bar venues.

If you're not 6'0+ and don't have a top physique, the next best thing you can have is money. If you can display some obvious tells of money, there's potential for success.

The productive use of classic game strategies and tactics will also be good items to have. If a man has solid looks, he doesn't need as much charisma/personality (game) to carry him. He will still need some.

Approaching strangers in non-bar settings sucks, but what are the alternatives? Swipe apps and social media DMs are even more competitive spaces. Approaching strangers in bars/nightclubs will also have significant challenges as well.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

There is a lot of misinformation pushed by shady PUAs trying to sell their rubbish courses ro desperate lonely men, they publish staged infield videos that give the wrong impression about how easy it is to pickup girls just by approaching them.

Nonsense.

No one said "it is easy to pickup girls, all you have to do is approach them".

No one is claiming that.

So you start off by attacking a position that no one is holding....we call that "attacking straw man" in philosophy.

Guess what, straw men don't exist...and neither do folks of whom made such ridiculous claims.

It doesn't help that they throw the newbies right into the deep end by forcing them to approach 10 girls randomly.

Also nonsense.

No one is being forced to do anything.

Second, the only way to get over your fear of approaching women, is to actually get out there and start approaching the women.

Duh.

Just because you are afraid to approach women, don't project your fear on others who are trying to build courage to get to where you won't let your own fear take you.

Cold approach is one of the hardest methods of finding a girlfriend, it is not easier and it does not get easier over time.

As I stated prior, guys who make statements like this fall into two categories...

1. They've tried cold approaching women and have had zero to little success...

or..

2. They've never tried cold approaching women because they are too afraid of rejection and therefore they are speaking on something they've never tried before.

No one who has had success with cold approaching will ever make such a statement...but those who haven't, would.

What guys need to know is they have to be very mindful that the vast majority of women will not be interested in them at all no matter how good their game is.

If you approach 100 women and have sex with at least 20 of them...the vast majority of the women that you approached did not have sex with you...but you still had sex with the 20, nevertheless.

That is still 20 more women than you wouldn't have had, had you not approached the 100.

Daygame is a great way to meet women, it's hard but the struggles do make the end reward worth it. It is a great way to improve your conversation skills and lower inhibitions.

Nonsense. There is no distinction between day and night game when it comes to cold approaching. Either the woman is feeling you, or she isn't...whether day, or night....sunny or cloudy...raining or snowing.

Just don't go into daygame expecting to pick up girls straight away, and don't expect any of it to be easy.

The question ain't whether it is easy, the question is whether it is worth it.

You are saying all the wrong things here, lets me know that you lack game.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Nope. This is only true for the guy who has no idea how to tactfully get a stranger talking and then build a connection.

This guy gets it^.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Then it should work on me.

This, I think, is the copium a lot of people are huffing in the seductionsphere. "Yeah it sounds impossible, impossible to the common man. But I have studied various secrets that can make the impossible possible." I promise you, there is no amount of charisma that can make me want something I wasn't already looking for. You're not gonna "change my mind" with charisma..

Nonsense. If you are walking down the street and suddenly a $20 bill blew your direction in the wind; you weren't looking for the $20 bill, were you?

But you would still pick it up and accept it, wouldn't you.

Same thing with cold approaching, you weren't looking for this handsome man to approach you, but he flew your direction in the wind....and if he is attractive to you enough, you will accept him, as you would the $20 bill

It is the literally the same concept.

 

[Parallelophone]

Mods can you please remove these two trolls from my thread, they are derailing the post.
Please ban @Parallelophone and @DoubleBarrel

Ban? I'm agreeing with you.

 

[Parallelophone]

Nonsense. If you are walking down the street and suddenly a $20 bill blew your direction in the wind; you weren't looking for the $20 bill, were you?

But you would still pick it up and accept it, wouldn't you.

Same thing with cold approaching, you weren't looking for this handsome man to approach you, but he flew your direction in the wind....and if he is attractive to you enough, you will accept him, as you would the $20 bill

It is the literally the same concept.

If $20 is a lot of money to me, then yes I was looking for the $20. Because money is one of the needs I deal with on a daily basis. Strangers at the liquor store aren't. Most strangers aren't.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

If $20 is a lot of money to me, then yes I was looking for the $20.

Um, most people who find money wasn't looking for it.

"Hey look everyone, I went outside looking for $20, and I FOUND it!! I went outside, and it just flew my way...in the wind".

Aint happening.

Because money is one of the needs I deal with on a daily basis. Strangers at the liquor store aren't. Most strangers aren't.

We are not talking about most strangers...we are talking about a stranger of whom you find ATTRACTIVE.

Big difference, isn't it?

 

[Parallelophone]

Um, most people who find money wasn't looking for it.

"Hey look everyone, I went outside looking for $20, and I FOUND it!! I went outside, and it just flew my way...in the wind".

Aint happening.

By "looking for it" I mean in the way an employer is looking for employees. It's not a search consuming every waking second, the employer isn't going to the liquor store looking for employees, but if one happens to come his way there he might be like "Know what? This person would be a good fit for my business." It's an active need, even though it's not something you go out and look for every day.

We are not talking about most strangers...we are talking about a stranger of whom you find ATTRACTIVE.

Big difference, isn't it?

To connect with someone when you've got your own **** to deal with is kind of a big deal. Especially if I'm not particularly hurting for sex/affection right now. I as a man might be captivated by a strange woman, but only if she's REALLY hot, the sex is almost guaranteed, and it wouldn't be too inconvenient for me to pursue this. Because again, I got my own **** to deal with. I'm not having sex with anybody the night before work.

But that's me as a man. I imagine it's similar for women, except with women they're not just looking for casual sex with hot, strange men. They're looking for life commitments. If they're looking at all. I'm willing to wager most women you see worth pursuing are already taken or have options on the backburner already. Options acquired through the actual proper channels.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Yeah I did hundreds of approaches fully believing it was the magic pill that would launch me into abundance with women. Turns out having balls like that doesn’t mean anything. I came right up to my limitations that I never knew I had and gracefully resigned. Now I do what works for me

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah I did hundreds of approaches fully believing it was the magic pill that would launch me into abundance with women. Turns out having balls like that doesn’t mean anything. I came right up to my limitations that I never knew I had and gracefully resigned. Now I do what works for me

I love that you did cold approaches. You have thicker skin now, a body of experience from which to draw in the future, that’s great. Way to go.