The Quiet One.

[ManinNeed]

Well, I need some social advice. I'm good looking, Athletic(top track athlete in the school), and kinda funny(around family). But I have the reputation as the quiet person. For some reason when I'm at school I don't really have nothing to say. It's a feeling I get, kinda of like what their talking about doesn't interest me as much so I have nothing to say. I've attracted many girls but with being quiet you can guess how that went...
I always have someone asking me why I don't talk, and when I do talk I get these reactions from the people that don't know me "wow he talked". "Who is that", "I've never heard him before".
Ah, yah well, because of this I don't have any of the type of friends you hang out with or anything..

 

[ORTIZ SANCHEZ]

try to get a good friend you could talk with about anything and from him expand it to others. and smile and laugh look more approchable

 

[Bballer7389]

you're athletic right? so try to talk more w/ your teammates about everything..Since you'll be spending alot of time w/ them you have alot of opportunities to talk with them, and get to know them better.

 

[GaryUranga]

you described me pretty much cept Im fairly good at sports, not really a star.

I've said "i have nothing to say" before, but its not true, the truth is Im not relaxed enough, when Im really relaxed around people I notice more things, make conversation out of anything and yes, Im the quiet one too, but I can be really talkative when relaxed, thats the key, I get a bunh of girls attracted to me but it almost never gets past that because of this.

 

[ManinNeed]

I tried the thing with the teammates last year...I failed at that.
The main thing is that the rare time I do talk people are like "wha?" or they start acting wild. I've had this reputaion for around 5 years so it's always like that... the way I feel is when I say something toward a certain subject people don't expect me to say something like that so they dismiss it like "oh he wouldn't say something like that". same goes with actions, sometimes I have pulled off jokes and people never suspect me...even when I give off clues that it was me on purpose.

 

[chinmi]

I was like you once. I think the only way to deal with this is

a) persevere, know that you're doing this for your own good = investment
b) get to know new people, and 'anchor' your new self through them

good luck!

 

[GaryUranga]

yah, its gotta be done in a daily basis, cant expect that people will get all exited cause you randomly drop a sentence in a discussion, one always has oppinions/questions on certain topics, just speak them up. the only topic where I aknowledge I dont have anything to say is alcohol cause I just dont care for it.

 

[guess_who]

GaryUranga is right. Its all about what state your in, how relaxed you feel, etc.

Your prolly afraid of rejection like 99% of the other shy people out there (I was one of them), so use some self help techniques to worl through this. I suggest first yo write down in big letters I AM 100% COMMITTED TO BECOMING MORE OUTGOING. Put it in a place so its the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see before sleep. I also suggest you read Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Jefferies, Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill, and check out the secret video.

Now about your second post, Are you going to let other people determine your reality? Just because they expect you to be quiet, are you going to sit there like a jackass scared to say anything? FUK THAT SHT MAN! Its not their lives, its not they're thoughts, its not they're opinions, ITS YOURS! If you don't care if people like you, they will love you. And don't get caught up in this whole "they want me to stay quiet". There was a time in my life where I thought this way, and I found out that when I did open up, people were cool with it. They joked around a little at first but by the end of the day they were totally cool with it. I mean, guys bust on each other as a way of bonding. They probably have nothing else to bust on you for, so this is how they try to bond with you. They WANT you to talk.

Finally, the only way to become more extroverted is to talk at every opportunity you get. Make yourself do it no matter how wierd it feels. At first your going to come off a bit hesistant, but eventually, when your subconcious realizes talking won't kill you, the fear will dissipate. Try not to focus on yourself too much. Focus on the people and things around you and ignore your internal dialouge telling you to be afraid. That should give you more to talk about.

Your a superstar athelete. It's time to think, talk and act like one!

 

[ManinNeed]

Well, I'm not exactly Mr. Lookatme yet, but I have made some very small progress.

I was able to hold a very small converstion with this gril that sits next to me(I usally just say something like "oh I'm fine") and that's the end of it...but she started the conversation though.

Also, I asked someone could I be in there group for a project and they said yes.(that may seem small but I normally don't do that kind of stuff and wait for the teacher to put me with who ever is left)

Now I have another question to ask. When I was a foolish freshman (far worse than I am now) These two twins came up to me and asked "did I lke them" or something like that I don't remeber, I chuckled and shook my head.
Later on that year they came up to my locker and said something alone the lines (they yelled it privatley to me) "Why don't you ever talk" I dismissed this with a chuckle as I normally did back then.

Now coming into my Jr year I'm like "damn they lookin kinda tight, maybe I should holla"
So what do you think i should do ?

 

[Indifference Kills]

shoot use it to your advantage. The quiet guys in my group can be funny as hell because you dont expect them to say anything, and when they do it catches you completely off guard. my 2 cents

 

[ManinNeed]

Any tips or uhh lectures about how I should handle those twin girls ? (coach type lectures help me alot..they get me hyped lol)