The Question of Questions i cant answer.

[Xetsu]

So in my earlier post i mentioned a couple of things about myself and great advice. So now i have one thing stumping my progress, one answer i cant seem to answer, and if/when i do im not sure if I'm honest.

Before i talk about the question,some background. So im increasingly social, i talk to everyone in school really, except for the hotties. Some people like me, some people think im a bit annoying, some people think im chill but haven't seen my true loud personality. One of my newer friends broke out of his shell this year and started going out a lot, and has had massive progress. So lately hes been inviting me out and such as im trying to break out of my shell as well. after a night out he mentions how he still sees a wall between the popular girls and me, something i agree with but not fully. So decided to obersve the difference between me and him objectively. We both look the same, we can ethier be really chill or really loud (he tends to be more chill and relaxed tho). but the main difference that kept coming up is friends.


So the question arised.
1. Do i sacrifice my current friends to move ahead?
2. Do i need to sacrifice my current friends?
3. Should i really sacrifice my friends just to get layed?
4. Is it possible to keep my old friends and be friends with the popular?

1. This is the question i cant answer.
2. honestly, i think so. my friends aren't necessarily low self esteem, but they have no direction, none of them have kissed a girl except one, 4/8 of them barely see the sun on weekends. why do i hang out with them? cause there funny and ive known them for 12 years.
3. this one i cant answer well. obviously im gonna be making new friends so its not just about getting laid, but its a tricky one.
4. i think its possible, but its honestly not my style. Noone in my school is like that, and even tho it is feasible, i rather go all in if im gonna change who I am and my image.


so how did you guys deal with old friends? what did you base your decision on?

 

[eaglez1177]

This should help

So in my earlier post i mentioned a couple of things about myself and great advice. So now i have one thing stumping my progress, one answer i cant seem to answer, and if/when i do im not sure if I'm honest.

Before i talk about the question,some background. So im increasingly social, i talk to everyone in school really, except for the hotties.Well this is a problem here. So what if you're increasingly social. Its not gonna count for anything if you still have a fear of all the hotties. You need to be social and comfortable with EVERYONE, and need to go out of that comfort zone to be more social and create the comfort with those hotties. Some people like me, some people think im a bit annoying, some people think im chill but haven't seen my true loud personality.Dont dwell on what others think of you One of my newer friends broke out of his shell this year and started going out a lot, and has had massive progress. So lately hes been inviting me out and such as im trying to break out of my shell as well. after a night out he mentions how he still sees a wall between the popular girls and me, something i agree with but not fullyim not surprised. read above.. So decided to obersve the difference between me and him objectively. We both look the same, we can ethier be really chill or really loud (he tends to be more chill and relaxed tho). but the main difference that kept coming up is friends.


So the question arised.
1. Do i sacrifice my current friends to move ahead?
2. Do i need to sacrifice my current friends?
3. Should i really sacrifice my friends just to get layed?
4. Is it possible to keep my old friends and be friends with the popular?
I'll answer all these questions with one answer. First off, if your friends are total AFC's, I wouldnt say you need "sacrifice" or drop them, but if you do feel that your friends are having a negative influence on you, and you feel their AFCness may be rubbing off on you, then I would definitely recommend being around them less.

A guy who is not a very experienced DJ can easily have his friend's AFCness rub off on him, whether it be just hangin out on the weekends, talking, being around girls, or anything (used to happen to me actually). At the same time, a more experienced DJ makes the spotlight on him, recognizes the flaws in his AFC friends, doesnt let these get to him, and if hes ever around girls with these AFC friends, he has the confidence to know that he is the main man and doesnt have to worry about his friends making him look bad or somethin like that.

And yes, it is absolutely possible to keep your old friends and be friends with the "popular". Its as simple as expanding your social circle.

1. This is the question i cant answer.
2. honestly, i think so. my friends aren't necessarily low self esteem, but they have no direction, none of them have kissed a girl except one, 4/8 of them barely see the sun on weekends. why do i hang out with them? cause there funny and ive known them for 12 years.
3. this one i cant answer well. obviously im gonna be making new friends so its not just about getting laid, but its a tricky one.
4. i think its possible, but its honestly not my style. Noone in my school is like that, and even tho it is feasible, i rather go all in if im gonna change who I am and my image.


so how did you guys deal with old friends? what did you base your decision on?For me, it wasnt really so much of a yes or no decision. I used to have a bunch of AFC friends, and as I changed, I just naturally moved on and made more friends, not necessarily totally ditched my old ones. I mean yea I didnt hang out with them as much cuz I was a new man and met alot more ppl, but I didnt forget about them completely. Like I said above, if you really feel that they're holding you back, just try to limit the time you spend with them and focus on improving yourself. If they say anything about it, just simply reply that your trying to change yourself into a better person.

 

[Xetsu]

Wow man, insanely helpful. I must say i completely agree. Also got a bit of a reminder of dwelling on what other people think; concentrate on myself and my hobbies and the rest will come. Yes it is true, it doesn't matter how social i get, Hotties are what im here for; gonna need to push for it.

I'm definitely already starting to hang out less with them, now it just getting my priorities straight.

 

[taporsnap17]

Im in the same situation you are in. Half my buddies are AFC and half are don juans. I hang out with the AFCs more because i was an AFC myself (and the don juans have AFC buddies too). I feel like since i changed I should help them out too. And besides your status with girls shouldn't determine who your friends with at all. I feel that is more of an AFC quality than anything. Good luck on your decision

 

[AlexLefty]

Well I think, before you answer those first 4 questions, you need to answer these:
1. What are you trying to get out of life
2. Are these people your true friends

Are you trying to get straight pvssy out of life? Enjoyment? Basically, getting some takes a lot of work, you may have to sacrifice some things, like those friends.

If they are your true friends though, there is no reason to sacrafice them, they'll always be your friends.

I know what you're going through because it happend to me some time ago as well. Basically what I've done is still maintained contact with my old AFC friends because, well, like you said with your friends, they're fun to hang out with. And to be honest, if they're fun to hang out with, then there's no reason to stop hanging out with them. Anyways, I've maintained contact with them, and we still hangout a lot, but not nearly as much as we used to. Also, sometimes I try to help them out a little, maybe explain about women to them (helps me brush up too).

So for direct answers:
So the question arised.
1. Do i sacrifice my current friends to move ahead?
Well really that's up to you. If your talking about a friend you met two weeks ago, I'd say sure, you guys can't have that great of a bond anyways. But since you've known these kids for 12 years, you should definatly maintain some friendship, you may just have to sacrafice some of your time
2. Do i need to sacrifice my current friends?
No you do not! And whoever says so is bul1sh1t lying. You may however, have to compensate a lot of time you hang out with them. Every other week instead of every week.
3. Should i really sacrifice my friends just to get layed?
Sacrifice completely? No. Blow them off once or twice? Yes. Trust me, they'll understand. They may be mad at first, but they'll see the light in it
4. Is it possible to keep my old friends and be friends with the popular?
Of course, it's like I said in 2 though, you will have to sacrafice time with your old friends. You will not be able to hang out with them as much. Your relationship will slip, but you'll still be freinds