Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
I have discovered, both here and at-large, a logical fallacy that is crippling the development of men everywhere.
I am calling it "The Pusssy/Self-Esteem Dichotomy".
It is a product of the other false dichotomies that have crippled mankind for centuries, such as: Mind vs. Body, Body vs. Soul, Moral vs. Practical, Theory vs. Practice. Especially prevalent in this instance are Mind vs. Body and Theory vs. Practice.
What it boils down to is a man saying, "You don't understand, all this stuff about valuing myself above women is great, but it isn't practical, because my glands are more powerful than my mind."
A rather pathetic position to take. And you take it in order to evade the fact that it is not your glands that drive your behavior, but the premises held by your mind.
A lust-crazed man, eager to bed women indiscriminately, is held as your ideal of masculinity. At the same time, you champion self-esteem as the number one factor in determining how many women you get. The problem is, contained in this admission is a hideous contradiction, and a contradiction cannot exist in reality.
In this case, the contradiction is an attempt to reverse the law of causality. The mad lust for indiscriminate sex partners is not a celebration of masculinity, it is the desire to achieve self-esteem by means of how many women want to have sex with you. Does this seem ridiculous? It is.
To have self-esteem is to first decide what the things are that you value, and then to work to manifest those values in your 'self'. The degree to which you accomplish this is the degree of your self-esteem. Only an empty husk of a man, with no self in which to hold esteem, could be deluded enough to believe that self-esteem is to be found between a woman's legs.
When a man of self-esteem sleeps with a woman he doesn't value, it is not a victory; it leaves him with a feeling of depression and self-abasement, as though he has sold himself short. Which he has. I speak from experience on this, for when I have slept with women I did not value, it left me feeling worse than when I was in a dry spell.
It has only been in the last year that I have completely disconnected my sense of self-worth and self-esteem from the number of women I am sleeping with. Before, when I hit a dry spell, it was as though a sense of panic would set in on me, as if there was something horribly wrong with me and I had better go bang someone to get past it. Now I see that that was the problem: not the lack of sex, but the panic that set in when I wasn't getting any. And it wasn't until I asked why that I was able to realize that I had been seeking self-esteem through women, which is a hideous action for a man, because your self-esteem is not hers to give you.
As a fundamental rule of human existence, you can only value that which you earn, that which you create for yourself. Only when you achieve a genuine sense of self-esteem, and only when you sleep with a woman because you see the things you value in her, does sex become a true victory for a man. When a man of self-esteem sleeps with a woman he values, it is a celebration of himself. When a man with no self-esteem sleeps with a woman he does not value, it is an act of self-abasement.
Sex does not create self-esteem; self-esteem leads to sex. But self-esteem is not the cheap posturing you see all around (and possibly within) you, and when a man of false self-esteem fools a woman into sleeping with him, the emptiness he feels afterwards is the realization that the person he had been working so hard to fool, was himself.
I am calling it "The Pusssy/Self-Esteem Dichotomy".
It is a product of the other false dichotomies that have crippled mankind for centuries, such as: Mind vs. Body, Body vs. Soul, Moral vs. Practical, Theory vs. Practice. Especially prevalent in this instance are Mind vs. Body and Theory vs. Practice.
What it boils down to is a man saying, "You don't understand, all this stuff about valuing myself above women is great, but it isn't practical, because my glands are more powerful than my mind."
A rather pathetic position to take. And you take it in order to evade the fact that it is not your glands that drive your behavior, but the premises held by your mind.
A lust-crazed man, eager to bed women indiscriminately, is held as your ideal of masculinity. At the same time, you champion self-esteem as the number one factor in determining how many women you get. The problem is, contained in this admission is a hideous contradiction, and a contradiction cannot exist in reality.
In this case, the contradiction is an attempt to reverse the law of causality. The mad lust for indiscriminate sex partners is not a celebration of masculinity, it is the desire to achieve self-esteem by means of how many women want to have sex with you. Does this seem ridiculous? It is.
To have self-esteem is to first decide what the things are that you value, and then to work to manifest those values in your 'self'. The degree to which you accomplish this is the degree of your self-esteem. Only an empty husk of a man, with no self in which to hold esteem, could be deluded enough to believe that self-esteem is to be found between a woman's legs.
When a man of self-esteem sleeps with a woman he doesn't value, it is not a victory; it leaves him with a feeling of depression and self-abasement, as though he has sold himself short. Which he has. I speak from experience on this, for when I have slept with women I did not value, it left me feeling worse than when I was in a dry spell.
It has only been in the last year that I have completely disconnected my sense of self-worth and self-esteem from the number of women I am sleeping with. Before, when I hit a dry spell, it was as though a sense of panic would set in on me, as if there was something horribly wrong with me and I had better go bang someone to get past it. Now I see that that was the problem: not the lack of sex, but the panic that set in when I wasn't getting any. And it wasn't until I asked why that I was able to realize that I had been seeking self-esteem through women, which is a hideous action for a man, because your self-esteem is not hers to give you.
As a fundamental rule of human existence, you can only value that which you earn, that which you create for yourself. Only when you achieve a genuine sense of self-esteem, and only when you sleep with a woman because you see the things you value in her, does sex become a true victory for a man. When a man of self-esteem sleeps with a woman he values, it is a celebration of himself. When a man with no self-esteem sleeps with a woman he does not value, it is an act of self-abasement.
Sex does not create self-esteem; self-esteem leads to sex. But self-esteem is not the cheap posturing you see all around (and possibly within) you, and when a man of false self-esteem fools a woman into sleeping with him, the emptiness he feels afterwards is the realization that the person he had been working so hard to fool, was himself.
