The Pros and Cons of Cold Approach Pick Up

[jglide123]

Most dating advice tends to focus on the cold approach pick up as the most effective way to meet women. As with almost anything in life, however, there is a positive and a negative side to the cold approach:

Pros
-There really is no limit to the number of women you can possibly meet (as opposed to relying on a social circle to meet new women).
-If you're an extrovert, you get to play more to your natural strengths.
-You can develop a skill set that can help you in areas outside of pick up.

You get the picture. But how about the cons....

Cons
-Cold approaching women (or people in general) is usually the most difficult way to meet new women, as most people tend to be wary and unreceptive of strangers (generally).
-If you are more introverted, you are operating in an area of weakness.
-Even if you get good at cold approach pick up, the odds are always against your success.

Developing a strong social circle is the best way to go, while learning some cold approach techniques along the way when it comes to meeting new women. Feel free to agree or disagree....

 

[Vice]

Here's another pro: the huge surge of confidence and adrenaline you get from cold approaching regardless of how successful you were.

 

[jglide123]

Here's another pro: the huge surge of confidence and adrenaline you get from cold approaching regardless of how successful you were.

LOL...it could work that way. It could just as easily discourage a guy who doesn't have the perseverance to endure multiple rejections...but I get your point.

 

[Kirro]

Solid topic. I've been thinking about this myself. Having moved to a new country & starting fresh I've been considering mastering cold approaches. I've done a few & I realize that once I get over myself I can engage nearly anyone in conversation.

At first I wanted to base my new game plan moreso around cold approaches rather than a social circle because I wanted to keep my sex life discreet however I realize that if you've got your sh!t together & moving with dudes around your level, you'll own.

The downside is back in my home country I moved with a crap social circle in which I was clearly the star & only in my final months did I finally align myself with men of equal or higher value. I guess its going to be another daunting task seeking out males who are like minded(& especially like bodied).

What I'm wondering is if I should build a social circle or if I should try mastering cold approach or a bit of both.

 

[Maxtro]

I hate cold approaching. It's such a waste of my time.

I'm not good look, extroverted, or smooth enough to get any success out of it. Hell, when I'm nervous I can barely even speak clearly.

Also I can't even think of what I would hope to accomplish with a cold approach.

Unfortunately getting a good social circle seems to be just as hard.

 

[jglide123]

Solid topic. I've been thinking about this myself. Having moved to a new country & starting fresh I've been considering mastering cold approaches. I've done a few & I realize that once I get over myself I can engage nearly anyone in conversation.

At first I wanted to base my new game plan moreso around cold approaches rather than a social circle because I wanted to keep my sex life discreet however I realize that if you've got your sh!t together & moving with dudes around your level, you'll own.

The downside is back in my home country I moved with a crap social circle in which I was clearly the star & only in my final months did I finally align myself with men of equal or higher value. I guess its going to be another daunting task seeking out males who are like minded(& especially like bodied).

What I'm wondering is if I should build a social circle or if I should try mastering cold approach or a bit of both.

Bro, you must realize that there are many different ways to meet people. Why focus solely on meeting strangers at bars/clubs? Cold Approaching has its advantages, but also its disadvantages. I like to be more strategic. Having some female friends can help your dating life in more ways than you can imagine....

 

[PDubb75]

Cold approaching can lead to a good social circle. Cold approaching doesn't need to be just to pick up a girl to bring right back to your place. You can start talking to someone you see with the intention of your friends meeting up with hers.

 

[escaleraroyal]

cons:
fear (aa)
very discouraging if you don't get any
could produce drama if you don't know how to manage them


pros:
very rewarding
choices
increment your confidence

 

[Vice]

LOL...it could work that way. It could just as easily discourage a guy who doesn't have the perseverance to endure multiple rejections...but I get your point.

Dude, I've been getting rejected SO MUCH in the past two months. It's rough on my ego, but it really gets easier and easier each time it happens. Plus I'm way more social.

But I'd rather get rejected than not approach at all.

 

[Kirro]

Bro, you must realize that there are many different ways to meet people. Why focus solely on meeting strangers at bars/clubs? Cold Approaching has its advantages, but also its disadvantages. I like to be more strategic. Having some female friends can help your dating life in more ways than you can imagine....

Oh I know. I've started being a lot more active & I can meet way more people doing my training/hobbies. I have no problem talking to dudes. Most of the time guys will just start conversation.

I can manage female acquaintances but I really don't want to invest time talking to or being around chicks I'm not banging.

 

[jglide123]

Dude, I've been getting rejected SO MUCH in the past two months. It's rough on my ego, but it really gets easier and easier each time it happens. Plus I'm way more social.

But I'd rather get rejected than not approach at all.

I can understand that. I've been cold approaching for years, and I understand that it's a numbers game. However, I've had greater success going out with female friends. I get great vouches by being seen with attractive women...but hey, whatever works for you!

To Pdubb,
Of course it can lead to developing friends and building a social circle. I just feel that there are easier ways of meeting people than at grocery stores, malls, clubs, etc. You ever think that maybe that 10 who is browsing through the cereal aisle is ACTUALLY there to buy cereal, and is not open to being approached by any guy? Again, I have nothing against meeting women in these places. There are just more effective ways to meet women....

 

[Vice]

I can understand that. I've been cold approaching for years, and I understand that it's a numbers game. However, I've had greater success going out with female friends. I get great vouches by being seen with attractive women...but hey, whatever works for you!

Either way you do it, it's a much better use of our time than what I see alot of guys doing: staying home drinking beer while playing online video games.

The night the new call of duty gets released will be one of the only nights that there will be more females than males at ANY bar or club in America.

 

[PDubb75]

The night the new call of duty gets released will be one of the only nights that there will be more females than males at ANY bar or club in America.

You are a genius...

 

[Doctrine Dark]

So what's the best way to begin doing cold approaches? I've never did this before, and I don't know how to get into the mindset of pulling this off. While I'm admittedly scared of rejection, I'd rather attack the problem instead of read topics on it all day.

 

[Vice]

So what's the best way to begin doing cold approaches? I've never did this before, and I don't know how to get into the mindset of pulling this off. While I'm admittedly scared of rejection, I'd rather attack the problem instead of read topics on it all day.

Be direct and keep it simple. Have a place already in mind to take them on an instant date.

"Hi! I saw you over here and I wanted to meet you". Talk, then say "Hey I'm going to [trendy cafe], want to come along?" or get a number if she's busy.

Be ready for rejection. But also be ready for success, don't blow it by being surprised that she accepted your invitation. Ask me how I know.

 

[Deicide]

Here's another pro: the huge surge of confidence and adrenaline you get from cold approaching regardless of how successful you were.

Exactly! It's such an exciting feeling that goes throughout your entire body. It's actually quite addicting.:yes:

 

[Vice]

Exactly! It's such an exciting feeling that goes throughout your entire body. It's actually quite addicting.:yes:

Yeah but as soon as you jerk off/have sex that momentum goes away and it can be challenging to get it rolling again.

 

[Deicide]

I hate cold approaching. It's such a waste of my time.

I'm not good look, extroverted, or smooth enough to get any success out of it. Hell, when I'm nervous I can barely even speak clearly.

Also I can't even think of what I would hope to accomplish with a cold approach.

Unfortunately getting a good social circle seems to be just as hard.

You could accomplish a phone number, a date, and eventual make-outs and sex through a cold approach.

 

[jglide123]

You could accomplish a phone number, a date, and eventual make-outs and sex through a cold approach.

Sure, all those things are possible, but how likely are they? Generally, you will go through many "no's" to get just one yes. Personally, I like to use my time more effectively these days than going out of my way to talk to women. However, I still do cold approaches; just not as often as I used to. But it sounds like you love cold approaching, so in that case, more power to ya!

 

[PDubb75]

The more I do cold approaches, even with zero success, the better I feel. Along with the rush you get, you learn from every single one. I'm definitely noticing that my body language and general conversation are starting to become more relaxed and natural, because I've experienced what works and doesn't.

I personally don't see any cons to cold approaching. Unless rejection really gets to you. It does not bother me at all (at least not when it's a cold approach).