The problem with IOIs

[ARrocket]

I know there have been posts on this in the past, but I've been seeing a lot of posts lately about trying to figure out whether or not a woman is interested. Whether that be the deciphering of a certain comment, uncertainty over eye-contact, kino reciprocity, WHATEVER. The truth is, IT DOES NOT MATTER.

It is a SoSuave cliche to say "assume attraction," but I think that this is something that a lot of guys on this board don't truly understand. The formula is not Flirt, Wait for IOI, and then Persue. The IOIs don't really matter, because you should proceed with your seduction regardless of how you THINK she feels about you.

You can waste a bunch of time and drive yourself crazy wondering if a certain girl is interested or not, but quite frankly, the best way to find out is to just go for it. Waiting around for some crazy signal of attraction is going to leave you with nothing. The man with the balls to go take the girl is the one who is going to get her. There is no "perfect moment" to make a move, be it going in for the kiss, the number, or even the approach. JUST. DO. IT.

It's great if you notice an IOI while you are running your game, it definitely means you're doing something right. But don't try to find them. If you assume the girl is attracted to you, and act accordingly, you'll go far.

Mods, sorry if this is in the wrong forum.

 

[xdreamz]

good post, yea i don't even trust any IOI's because none of them really matter except her wanting to spend time with you.

i disagree with a right & wrong time though, timing has a lot to do with the way things work. the perfect moment for me is when i'm enthusiastic about the idea and i have no doubt in my mind that it'll work.

assuming attraction is pretty easy it's all about putting away the things that are making u assume it...i think. I've figured out it's not really about what u say, but the way you say it in the moment.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Well I definitely agree with the spirit of your post. But the fact is, sometimes discretion is needed depending on the situation. Sure, who cares about getting an IOI from some random skank you're gaming at a bar, but for those who dare to hunt within their own social circle, sometimes you want to be fairly certain your advances will be well received before you risk "poisoning the well" and doing something that could have negative ramifications on your social status, or on other targets.

 

[xdreamz]

if she's in your area...it's interest enough. so simple. there are definitely negative ramifications for being too forceful in chasing women that could be fixed through more experience with social skills. But as long as you are being charming and good-hearted, and you play your cards right by not assuming too much, you can pick up that girl that is crossing her arms at you.

IOI's are good ... it's just that some people may not need the validation.

 

[ARrocket]

i disagree with a right & wrong time though, timing has a lot to do with the way things work.

What I was getting at is that if a girl has agreed to spend time alone with you, and you go out with her and your game is tight, she will be having a good time. At that point, don't be scared to make a move...if you wait for some sort of "signal" to let you know it's ok to go in for the kiss or maybe even more, you will be stuck waiting forever. ASSUME she wants it. Don't wait for some perfect movie moment, if you have been escalating throughout the date as you should have been, your advances will be welcomed, and it won't come as a shock to her either.

 

[ARrocket]

Well I definitely agree with the spirit of your post. But the fact is, sometimes discretion is needed depending on the situation. Sure, who cares about getting an IOI from some random skank you're gaming at a bar, but for those who dare to hunt within their own social circle, sometimes you want to be fairly certain your advances will be well received before you risk "poisoning the well" and doing something that could have negative ramifications on your social status, or on other targets.

This is a valid point. However, taking a risk doesn't mean it won't be a calculated risk. What I'm saying is, gaming a girl in your social circle doesn't have to make you look bad, if done correctly. Get her number, isolate her, work your charm, and THEN that is where my post comes into play. If she's agreed to spend time with you, chances are she wants it.

Assuming attraction and making a move will mean different things to different people/situations. The important thing is to not sit around waiting for a green light from the girl...keep plowing forward, cautiously but in a persistent manner.

 

[2crudedudes]

Well I definitely agree with the spirit of your post. But the fact is, sometimes discretion is needed depending on the situation. Sure, who cares about getting an IOI from some random skank you're gaming at a bar, but for those who dare to hunt within their own social circle, sometimes you want to be fairly certain your advances will be well received before you risk "poisoning the well" and doing something that could have negative ramifications on your social status, or on other targets.

I'm pretty sure the OP is referring to approaching complete strangers.