everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,817
- Reaction score
- 36
Here is best way I know to explain this. Mystery understands this stuff very well as you will see if you look at his VAH:
So I always sit next to this one girl I know. Now, everyday we talk and have great respect for one another which is a cool thing. I noticed if I try NOT to talk to her and pay total attention to class, I feel a lot of pressure to at least say something to acknowledge she's there.. way more than usual.
So I wondered why this is? The reason is consistency. Once we have commited to a behavior, then we feel great pressure to remain consistent with that initial behavior.
Why it worked in this instance:
-I had free choice in initial step of talking to her. It's a behavior I choose (or believe I chose) to engage in. Had it not been(perceived as) a free choice it may not have worked under some circumstances.
-The conversation was more interesting than a typical conversation (deeper rapport than normal was generated, making this stand out as something "between us" not shared with everyone).
The point isn't that this particular situation "means" anything (it doesn't & I'm off the market now anyway), it's a much broader issue being raised than this one situation.
The point is that we can intentionally cause dissonance to be associated with not complying with what we want without ever having to even say what we want! You will notice Mystery is a master of applying this principle in unique ways.
Why do you think companies give away samples? Becuase once you use a product, then you will be much more likely to remain consistent with that behavior.
A lot of this can be manipulated through "foot-in-the-door" tatics. A small task is created first. The person should feel she freely chose to engage in this act. The task cannot be so small as to be a super-typical experience, it needs to be somewhat interesting or larger than everyday experience. The task cannot be so large that it is rejected (tried to go too fat, too fast but another tatic uses a large request followed by a smaller one). Once complaince is gained for a smaller task, social influence (real or perceived personal and interpersonal pressures) will cause her to feel MORE pressure to comply than to not comply for the next task.
It's pretty easy to see how most people already use this one. First, you get to one level, then you escalate. Can't escalate? Go back, work forward. etc. This is making it more comfortable to comply all the time, and (without doing much of anything on your part) making it more uncomfortable to deny.
It's just something to keep in your back pocket, it isn't like this stuff is the be all, end all of what needs to be done. Useful to know, nonetheless. I also think it's possible to spend too much time thinking about this stuff and not make a real connection with anyone which is a common problem when people get too caught up in "techniques" and "strategies"
So I always sit next to this one girl I know. Now, everyday we talk and have great respect for one another which is a cool thing. I noticed if I try NOT to talk to her and pay total attention to class, I feel a lot of pressure to at least say something to acknowledge she's there.. way more than usual.
So I wondered why this is? The reason is consistency. Once we have commited to a behavior, then we feel great pressure to remain consistent with that initial behavior.
Why it worked in this instance:
-I had free choice in initial step of talking to her. It's a behavior I choose (or believe I chose) to engage in. Had it not been(perceived as) a free choice it may not have worked under some circumstances.
-The conversation was more interesting than a typical conversation (deeper rapport than normal was generated, making this stand out as something "between us" not shared with everyone).
The point isn't that this particular situation "means" anything (it doesn't & I'm off the market now anyway), it's a much broader issue being raised than this one situation.
The point is that we can intentionally cause dissonance to be associated with not complying with what we want without ever having to even say what we want! You will notice Mystery is a master of applying this principle in unique ways.
Why do you think companies give away samples? Becuase once you use a product, then you will be much more likely to remain consistent with that behavior.
A lot of this can be manipulated through "foot-in-the-door" tatics. A small task is created first. The person should feel she freely chose to engage in this act. The task cannot be so small as to be a super-typical experience, it needs to be somewhat interesting or larger than everyday experience. The task cannot be so large that it is rejected (tried to go too fat, too fast but another tatic uses a large request followed by a smaller one). Once complaince is gained for a smaller task, social influence (real or perceived personal and interpersonal pressures) will cause her to feel MORE pressure to comply than to not comply for the next task.
It's pretty easy to see how most people already use this one. First, you get to one level, then you escalate. Can't escalate? Go back, work forward. etc. This is making it more comfortable to comply all the time, and (without doing much of anything on your part) making it more uncomfortable to deny.
It's just something to keep in your back pocket, it isn't like this stuff is the be all, end all of what needs to be done. Useful to know, nonetheless. I also think it's possible to spend too much time thinking about this stuff and not make a real connection with anyone which is a common problem when people get too caught up in "techniques" and "strategies"