The Power to Walk Away

[bigneil]

I finally found a great resource to teach us how to deal with younger women. It's a parenting guide.

Step by step example:

1) "What was that fun thing you WERE going to do which is NOT happening now?" "Oh we WERE going to buy a toy."

2) 30 seconds later the 3 year old realizes the consequences of her actions.

3) The parent is instructed: Absolutely under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can he change his mind and give the child the opportunity to earn the privilege back that day. The opportunity was completely lost. Period. (see NC).

4) And that is where the caterwauling began. Wailing, crying, and desperate clinging measures were used. The child kept tugging on daddy's arm and urgently repeating "I'll be good! I'm sorry, daddy, I'll be good!"

5) The teacher and parent were trying not to giggle, knowing this would happen.

6) The child was completely compliant, obedient, and absolutely desperate to go buy that toy.

7) The power tool steps are:

* Say it once
* Turn your back
* Walk away

8) What do you say to the child then? "I'm sorry but I didn't like (fill in the blank). So we are not going to (fill in the blank)." You do not discuss the matter any further than your first pronouncement. That is, turn your back and walk away.

9) In the end the child promises "I'll practice without the drama!"

Source: (Dr. Kevin Leman, author of "Have a New Kid by Friday"):

http://teachsuzuki.blogspot.com/2011/09/useful-parenting-tool-power-to-walk.html

 

[EvilAgenda]

Bigneil, this post is about disciplining your kids.

Is your idea of a romantic relationship with a younger woman to discipline her the entire time?

Women grow by praise, not by criticism.

 

[bigneil]

Well I was joking that younger women act like 3 year olds, though I do think this outlines NC in a perfect analogy.

 

[EvilAgenda]

Lol, they do though. They go waaah waaah waaah all the time when you don't let them have something.

 

[Who Dares Win]

What you guys fail to realize is that we have 2 parents for life, any girl whos not horrible can get attention from many different guys easily.
If you aint buying her the toy she will find a guy who will even if she behave worse than she did to you, just deal with that there is no happy ending where u get even with a b1tch unless you are in the top.

Walking away is definitely powerful as is going no contact but they are more a way to save time and frustration or frustrate her back but for sure are not a sure mean to get a girl.
Even if she likes you after u go NC her ego would stop her any move.

 

[MrJibbles]

Bigneil has a good point. Pook said "charm is treating women like little girls." I would say that this applies for the philosophy of DJism too, in general. Women want those who act like men, who frame themselves as having discipline, integrity, and self-respect. The power to walk away embodies all of these values. Girls don't want some manchild who comes crawling to them like some sick pathetic parasite, supplicating and philandering themselves to the female (i.e. Putting pvssy on the pedestal.)

 

[EvilAgenda]

Pook said "charm is treating women like little girls."

Yes, and what that means is not taking her demands seriously.

This thing here though feels too much like disciplining a dog. Although a good analogy for some cases, I would not recommend it.

 

[Zerro]

What you guys fail to realize is that we have 2 parents for life, any girl whos not horrible can get attention from many different guys easily.
If you aint buying her the toy she will find a guy who will even if she behave worse than she did to you, just deal with that there is no happy ending where u get even with a b1tch unless you are in the top.

Walking away is definitely powerful as is going no contact but they are more a way to save time and frustration or frustrate her back but for sure are not a sure mean to get a girl.
Even if she likes you after u go NC her ego would stop her any move.

True, for anything to really change you'd need to get a huge number of guys to wake up and start pushing back. However right now for every guy who is willing to turn his back on a chick there are at least a hundred dudes who would bend over backwards for her.

 

[Down Low]

True, for anything to really change you'd need to get a huge number of guys to wake up and start pushing back. However right now for every guy who is willing to turn his back on a chick there are at least a hundred dudes who would bend over backwards for her.

Damn right!

I don't like this revenge fantasy nonsense. When you walk away, she immediately spreads her legs for the next and the next guy. She probably did anyway even before you left. A woman premeditates a break up with you for some free time to wh0re around, as well as premeditating a possible make up with you sometime after "if the new guys don't work out" (and they never work out).

You walk away for your own sake, not to try to teach her a lesson. As we well know, she disrespected you because she already plans to live her life as a pointless string of meaningless hookups and short-term relationships that she fully intends to cheat on to stroke her ego. There are plenty of PUAs out there waiting in line to get sloppy seconds whenever she stupidly stops to hear their sales pitch.

Women are women. They cannot "learn" to be dignified, honest, faithful, courageous, or whatever. They cannot "learn" to be men. There is no point deluding yourself with the idea that you somehow "saved" her or "taught her a lesson" or whatever. Women will never be anything more than puzzies with legs to move them around, and mouths to say "no" regardless of what happens with the puzzy.

 

[bigneil]

However right now for every guy who is willing to turn his back on a chick there are at least a hundred dudes who would bend over backwards for her.

But which one would she choose?

 

[AlexDP]

Well I was joking that younger women act like 3 year olds, though I do think this outlines NC in a perfect analogy.

No, it doesn't. Stop living in your fantasy world. Your ex doesn't care about you and she never did. You're not perfect and you're not special. STOP.

Also, I understand that you have this overwhelming desire to control the behaviour of others. This is most likely coming from your own insecurities. Truth is you can't. Nevermind Leary's Rose, nevermind all these psychological schemes.. You cannot control the behaviour of others. At the very best you can influence it through your own behaviour.

You want to see your ex beg. Fine. It may or it may not happen. But stop trying to convince yourself you're doing a mighty fine job, because truth is you're in a very messed up place right now. Let the friggin' stripper go. FFS.

 

[bigneil]

People take sour grapes to the point of contradicting themselves.

"She's not that hot AND she's using you!".
Well, which one is it? Why would someone below me use me?

"She never liked you AND never will."
Well, why did she used to come over and have sex every weekend and now she doesn't?

"She only wanted you for money AND now she left you."
But the money is still here...

"Let her go AND stop talking about NC".
I already let her go, via NC.

Bottom line: Once you have great sex with a girl, you win. Period. You either got her or you didn't. Nobody asks "how many times" or "for how long". BTW 5 months was my third or fourth longest relationship so I don't see how she was much different than any hot girl. And I was the one who walked away. At least she didn't have BPD.

According to Pook, the most legendary SS member of all time IMO, dating strippers requires master game.

 

[AlexDP]

People take sour grapes to the point of contradicting themselves.

"She's not that hot AND she's using you!".
Well, which one is it? Why would someone below me use me?

"She never liked you AND never will."
Well, why did she used to come over and have sex every weekend and now she doesn't?

"She only wanted you for money AND now she left you."
But the money is still here...

"Let her go AND stop talking about NC".
I already let her go, via NC.

Bottom line: Once you have great sex with a girl, you win. Period. You either got her or you didn't. Nobody asks "how many times" or "for how long". BTW 5 months was my third or fourth longest relationship so I don't see how she was much different than any hot girl. And I was the one who walked away. At least she didn't have BPD.

Stop trying to convince yourself, man.

Oh and having sex with a stripper doesn't make you a winner. It's pathetic.

 

[Who Dares Win]

People take sour grapes to the point of contradicting themselves.

"She's not that hot AND she's using you!".
Well, which one is it? Why would someone below me use me?

"She never liked you AND never will."
Well, why did she used to come over and have sex every weekend and now she doesn't?

"She only wanted you for money AND now she left you."
But the money is still here...

"Let her go AND stop talking about NC".
I already let her go, via NC.

Bottom line: Once you have great sex with a girl, you win. Period. You either got her or you didn't. Nobody asks "how many times" or "for how long". BTW 5 months was my third or fourth longest relationship so I don't see how she was much different than any hot girl. And I was the one who walked away. At least she didn't have BPD.

According to Pook, the most legendary SS member of all time IMO, dating strippers requires master game.

Where I can find material about dealing with strippers? any particular thread or guide?

 

[bigneil]

Where I can find material about dealing with strippers? any particular thread or guide?

nismo-4 covered it well:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174760

But remember: if she falls for you and starts seeing you every week and having orgasms in your bed, it doesn't count because she's a stripper - but if she stops calling you, then you still got dumped because we told you so!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women grow by praise, not by criticism.

Yes, they grow into monsters.

They get all the praise they need from the media and their friends. In a relationship, a certain amount of controlled praise is beneficial, but only after a strong frame has been established.

In once a man creates a dominant frame (which she craves, by the way, just like children crave parental discipline), then he can use "praise" as a relief valve as needed to make sure an over-pressure situation doesn't occur. It is praise from within a framework of leadership and benevolent dominance, not praise to "help her grow".

Helping a women to grow is like trying to grow a dangerous culture in petrie dish. Soon the growth becomes overwhelming and uncontrollable. Man is a controlling, moderating force in a woman's life, and force that she needs and deep inside craves. I always say that she is the stormy ocean, and you are the rocky shore that she crashes against. You define her limits. By the way, defining her limits is yet another thing she craves.

Notice that with all those things she needs and craves, she will cry and moan about them. "You are mean, you are unreasonable, blah, blah, blah...".

Yet deep inside she knows you are providing her with security and certainty. But this is certainty that YOU have engineered and defined.

If a man knows how to handle children, he knows how to handle women, for women are most assuredly children. They are emotionally arrested in childhood, and their infuences (the media) keep them there in the land of unicorns and imagined privilege (the "princess" syndrome).

No matter how sophisticated the woman appears, she is a child inside, and that childness can be elicited out of her. Her sophistication is a facade, a mirage. It is a mask, just like the mask of putty and paint she wears on her face to make the world believe she actually looks like that.

I repeat: When a man knows how to handle and discipline children, dealing with women effectively is quite similar.

 

[AlexDP]

nismo-4 covered it well:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174760

But remember: if she falls for you and starts seeing you every week and having orgasms in your bed, it doesn't count because she's a stripper - but if she stops calling you, then you still got dumped because we told you so!

Both don't matter. She's a stripper, ergo a *****. Having sex with a ***** is easy and you know you will get cheated on and dumped eventually. You got what you deserved. Now get over her, you can do better.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yes, by all means stay away from strippers. Talk about asking for problems...

 

[loveshogun]

And here I thought the point of going no contact with a woman and walking away was to never contact or see her again.

You mean we're supposed to use no contact as a desperate bid to win a girl back?!

I never got the memo. Guess that shows what I know.

By the way, Neil, I've had a self-imposed embargo on commenting about your stripper relationship while it was happening, because you seemed "happy enough" to talk about it all the time.

But, now that it appears that it's over, feel free to PM me about some sort of recap, because I feel like you're in kind of a spot now.

 

[DanDaMan]

Like attracts like. Maybe the reason that so many of you come across immature women is because you're immature in your own sense?

There are great, emotionally mature, wise women out there. And yes they can be young and sexy. They don't hang out with little boys.