Who are you? take a break from anything you may be doing (which at this moment is reading this post) and name some unique things that you associate with yourself.
Done. What could you come up with? Was it hard or easy? Did you say anything negative about yourself? Okay. Forget everything you know about yourself for just a few minutes. Please realize that you have been molded, you've been programmed to change, to learn, you've been taught how to act, the overall goal of society is to make everyone aspire to perfection. You're not perfect and never will be. You're not good at everything, while at some things you are excellent. We hide behind our identities everyday, we hide behind this person that WE THINK that we are. This person hasn't learned by himself how to live, he is told how to live and what to do. You need to focus on yourSELF, the person that you really are, the one who you know lives deep inside. Your self is free of the manacles of identity.
Some people have been mistaking themselves for their identity all along, but let me help you find the differences. Identity is believing something instantly and trying to make that a part of you. Say someone says something about another person before you've even met them, "Oh man! Don't ask her out! I hear that she is really *****y and needy!". While the statement may or may not have been true, the fact is that your identity would pick that up and make that part of itself (in other words from then on, that girl would always seem kind of *****y to you). Your SELF is strong when you make the calls, when you pass the judgements. You may walk right up to that girl and find out 'Hey! she's not that bad! she's actually kind of nice!' and ask her out. My point here is, you shouldn't believe what you haven't taken a look at yourself.
Identity is easy to hurt because it is the part of you that you show the world. If someone says that you're a little overweight, have a big nose, or look ugly, your identity is the first to take offense: "Yes! You're so right! I am ugly and horrible! I have no right to live!" Furthermore, if someone compliments you (You have very nice eyes, you're very smart, I love you way you smile), your identity is the first to be affected: "Yes! Thank you so much for accepting me! I am forever grateful! Thank you!" NO. No, no, no no NO! B*tchslap those feelings! These are DEPENDENT feelings, your IDENTITY IS DEPENDENT, while your SELF on the other hand is INDEPENDENT. If someone offends you or compliments you, realize that those are their feelings, those judgements are based on how they were brought up and the various environments they encountered. You cannot and will not change a judgement someone has made on you, only they can do that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and as I've said in another post, NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU EXCEPT FOR YOU! Who is anyone to tell you what you're bad at? The only way that you're bad at something is when YOU, your SELF, accepts that you are bad at something. NEVER ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE BAD AT ANYTHING! Say that you are trying your hardest (to yourself) and as long as you try your hardest, you are doing well. Only you can tell yourself who you really are, don't let others try to tell you. Your IDENTITY will accept everything they say as true, your SELF anylizes it all and comes up with what YOU BELIEVE. Your identity compares you to others, while yourself compares you to no one, for you are who you are, and that cannot and will not be changed unless you want it to be. Don't you see? THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED! GET RID OF YOUR IDENTITY!
Don't depend on others to make you feel good. You need to become self-dependent. You need to be happy for being you. To know who you are, you need to be able to separate what is your Identity and what is your SELF. Sometimes you will barely be able to see the difference, othertimes you'll be glad you could. To wrap up, you are what you believe, because BELIEVING IS THE GREATEST POWER ANY OF US HAVE. I firmly believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, because doubting yourself is the biggest put-down you can ever throw your own way! Doubting yourself says that you aren't good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, or _______ enough. You need confidence in yourself, not your identity. Make your own choices, for it is the people who believe in themselves and in their decisions that really become successful.
Done. What could you come up with? Was it hard or easy? Did you say anything negative about yourself? Okay. Forget everything you know about yourself for just a few minutes. Please realize that you have been molded, you've been programmed to change, to learn, you've been taught how to act, the overall goal of society is to make everyone aspire to perfection. You're not perfect and never will be. You're not good at everything, while at some things you are excellent. We hide behind our identities everyday, we hide behind this person that WE THINK that we are. This person hasn't learned by himself how to live, he is told how to live and what to do. You need to focus on yourSELF, the person that you really are, the one who you know lives deep inside. Your self is free of the manacles of identity.
Some people have been mistaking themselves for their identity all along, but let me help you find the differences. Identity is believing something instantly and trying to make that a part of you. Say someone says something about another person before you've even met them, "Oh man! Don't ask her out! I hear that she is really *****y and needy!". While the statement may or may not have been true, the fact is that your identity would pick that up and make that part of itself (in other words from then on, that girl would always seem kind of *****y to you). Your SELF is strong when you make the calls, when you pass the judgements. You may walk right up to that girl and find out 'Hey! she's not that bad! she's actually kind of nice!' and ask her out. My point here is, you shouldn't believe what you haven't taken a look at yourself.
Identity is easy to hurt because it is the part of you that you show the world. If someone says that you're a little overweight, have a big nose, or look ugly, your identity is the first to take offense: "Yes! You're so right! I am ugly and horrible! I have no right to live!" Furthermore, if someone compliments you (You have very nice eyes, you're very smart, I love you way you smile), your identity is the first to be affected: "Yes! Thank you so much for accepting me! I am forever grateful! Thank you!" NO. No, no, no no NO! B*tchslap those feelings! These are DEPENDENT feelings, your IDENTITY IS DEPENDENT, while your SELF on the other hand is INDEPENDENT. If someone offends you or compliments you, realize that those are their feelings, those judgements are based on how they were brought up and the various environments they encountered. You cannot and will not change a judgement someone has made on you, only they can do that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and as I've said in another post, NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU EXCEPT FOR YOU! Who is anyone to tell you what you're bad at? The only way that you're bad at something is when YOU, your SELF, accepts that you are bad at something. NEVER ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE BAD AT ANYTHING! Say that you are trying your hardest (to yourself) and as long as you try your hardest, you are doing well. Only you can tell yourself who you really are, don't let others try to tell you. Your IDENTITY will accept everything they say as true, your SELF anylizes it all and comes up with what YOU BELIEVE. Your identity compares you to others, while yourself compares you to no one, for you are who you are, and that cannot and will not be changed unless you want it to be. Don't you see? THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED! GET RID OF YOUR IDENTITY!
Don't depend on others to make you feel good. You need to become self-dependent. You need to be happy for being you. To know who you are, you need to be able to separate what is your Identity and what is your SELF. Sometimes you will barely be able to see the difference, othertimes you'll be glad you could. To wrap up, you are what you believe, because BELIEVING IS THE GREATEST POWER ANY OF US HAVE. I firmly believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, because doubting yourself is the biggest put-down you can ever throw your own way! Doubting yourself says that you aren't good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, or _______ enough. You need confidence in yourself, not your identity. Make your own choices, for it is the people who believe in themselves and in their decisions that really become successful.