The Power of Not Caring

[JohnChops]

Not Caring and YOU:cheer:

Guys its all about not caring!

If she flakes .... you dont care!
If she stops contacting you ... you dont care!
If she starts texting your buddy ... you bang her with no care!

You ever hear the expression "the one who cares less has the power in a relationship"? That is the largest truth on this forum. The one who cares the most is the poor sap who gets hurt, ends up with oneitis, gets fat. The one who cares less is the one who walks away intact from a bad relationship and goes on to do what they did before guilt free.

Women do this all the time!
All the guys, including myself, on here who came because they had oneitis its because they cared more than the woman did in their "relationship". Their oneitis girl is out sloring it up and your here on SoSuave broken into pieces and trying to get your self back to normal . But what if you cared less?

If you ended up caring less YOU would be the one who would be walking away with your head high and ready to hunt for more puzzy.

Example
You text a girl every day, all day, 24/8 (yeah you added an extra day your doing it so much!). Then she stops. you keep texting her and she doesnt respond. Ever. You get all emotional and end up beating yourself up for it over TEXTS!

While all the long another guy is texting your girl :nervous: , this guy plays it differently. See in fact he only sends maybe 5-15 texts to her a day if that. This guy is to busy in his own **** to even care about this girl. She ends up waiting for his texts, by her phone , all day. While shes waiting for this guys texts she ignores yours! AMAZING ISNT IT!

All along if you showed a little less interest in her, cared a bit less, and stopped communicating with her 24/7 you wouldve had this girl. She didnt care about you, you cared to much.

Less is more

The less you care, do, say to a woman the more they will be attracted to you. You give off an air of mystery and unneediness and she loves it! You seem to wait for it.... not care .

Bottom line here: Care less, for the less you care the less time you spend crippled by your own mind and the more time you spend opening up your mind to new adventures like new women and new hobbies.

-JohnChops

 

[spiegel549]

 

[jonhaul]

Gotta ahve this mindset I am gonna next with the next gal I pick up because I am tired of being emotionally screwed. I had my heart so closed off from my ex gal when we broke up I was OKAY! Always ahd the mindset she could leave she clould leave any day... Well it worked! heh

 

[Daily Insanity]

So what you're saying is dont care no matter what happens? Is this really what your mindset should be?

 

[JohnChops]

So what you're saying is dont care no matter what happens? Is this really what your mindset should be?

In a nut shell yes. We are men, why is there such a need in our society for us to get all "mushy" when it comes to the opposite sex. Thats a woman's job to be emotional. Its your job to lead and take control. You can care, but dont be over indulgent. Like in everything in life keep a good balance. You can never stray to one extreme or the other. Do what works for you and run with it.

 

[Purefilth]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JohnChops again.

 

[JohnChops]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JohnChops again.

Haha really?

 

[VladPatton]

As soon as they take your high emotion and kindness for weakness, you'll be phucked and bleeding from the a$$hole until you call it quits with her.

Stay in control, gents.

 

[Bukkake]

Good advice.

 

[jonhaul]

As soon as they take your high emotion and kindness for weakness, you'll be phucked and bleeding from the a$$hole until you call it quits with her.

Stay in control, gents.

Very very true sir... Falling for em and becoming completely needy and loosing control of emotions well that will be the downfall... I mean I cared for my ex but it helped ME in the end having that mind set then again maybe I just wasnt that into her I used to ***** a lot about her... lol

 

[zekko]

This goes beyond just women, too.

When I was a young man I worked with an older gentlemen who said to me:
"Zekko," he said to me, "the secret to life is not to give a sh!t!."
I always thought there was a lot of wisdom in that, one of the few times I've thought "words to live by". I've always remembered it.

 

[JohnChops]

This goes beyond just women, too.

When I was a young man I worked with an older gentlemen who said to me:
"Zekko," he said to me, "the secret to life is not to give a sh!t!."
I always thought there was a lot of wisdom in that, one of the few times I've thought "words to live by". I've always remembered it.

I have to agree zekko but the only place this doesn't apply is in college classes. I could never not care about my grades. But yes words to live by for sure. Imagine yourself with this mindset, you'd be better off and have less issues with EVERYTHING.

 

[JohnChops]

I need to follow my own advice...

 

[Interceptor]

Yes, you should care. But how much you care is important, and also will the caring level you have either be too little or too much?

So not caring is not good advice.
Not being controlled by your caring is what needs to be developed.

We are emotional beings. But our maturity and ability to manage our emotions is the lesson here. Emotional maturity is what we should focus on.
Its too simple and misguided to simply not care.
Guys, allow yourself to be complex, deep, and capable of emotional depth. Just work on being strong and able to carry out your mission while you feel it.
Your mental ability to put things into proper Context is key to managing your emotions. Part of being in this human, real world existence is we have feelings. Feelings, emotions are not bad. What IS bad is when we drown in our emotions, and become slaves to them. Where we become ineffectual in our lives. Thats what needs to be recognized, and averted.


Of course youre going to care. But will it knock you out and make you helpless and overpowered by it?

So work on understanding the emotions that are being evoked, dont seek to blunt them or ignore them, thats called emotional immaturity, and being emotionally unavailable. Its also part of being a cold sociopathic person.

If a man is so easily hurt that he has to kill his feelings, the problem isnt his feelings, the problem is his lack of ability in managing them.

 

[JohnChops]

Yes, you should care. But how much you care is important, and also will the caring level you have either be too little or too much?

So not caring is not good advice.
Not being controlled by your caring is what needs to be developed.

We are emotional beings. But our maturity and ability to manage our emotions is the lesson here. Emotional maturity is what we should focus on.
Its too simple and misguided to simply not care.
Guys, allow yourself to be complex, deep, and capable of emotional depth. Just work on being strong and able to carry out your mission while you feel it.
Your mental ability to put things into proper Context is key to managing your emotions. Part of being in this human, real world existence is we have feelings. Feelings, emotions are not bad. What IS bad is when we drown in our emotions, and become slaves to them. Where we become ineffectual in our lives. Thats what needs to be recognized, and averted.


Of course youre going to care. But will it knock you out and make you helpless and overpowered by it?

So work on understanding the emotions that are being evoked, dont seek to blunt them or ignore them, thats called emotional immaturity, and being emotionally unavailable. Its also part of being a cold sociopathic person.

If a man is so easily hurt that he has to kill his feelings, the problem isnt his feelings, the problem is his lack of ability in managing them.

This is what I was trying to get at but didnt quite put it in those words. I agree, people who are emotionless are ... well sociopaths o_0. I agree 100% with what you said, be in control of your emotions/feelings but not caring helps when the girl has low IL. Thats more of what I was gearing this towards.

 

[aron77]

Man I learned this lesson the hard way. With my ex I was the little lost puppy in the begining. Honestly it is nothing short of amazing that I got as far with her as I did cuz I just threw myself at her falling hard and fast but we moved in together. I loved this girl like crazy and acted like a total wuss. It was horrible. She rarely had sex with me, felt like starving while sleeping next to a steak every night, and she had no respect for me. So long story short she cheated on me and I left. Blah blah blah we ended up messing around and semi getting back together off and on. I was really just trying to stay away from her but she is banging my brains out and I could say no. We went on like that for a couple of years. I never moved back in with her but I had trouble staying away cuz she was calling me up all the time to bang me. I had ten times more sex with her while not living with her than I ever did in the year we lived together as she was hell bent on getting me back.

It was pretty much the tale of two relationships with us switching roles, totally one extreme to the other with me having none of the power and then all of it. Ultimlately I'd like to find some kind of balance of power in between cuz I was happier during the times it was going half way well while I was the lap dog, but obviously that didn't end well for me, and then on the back end I enjoyed the sex buffet but it sucked having to keep my gaurd up all the time. I learned alot tho. I can't say I'm doing as well with women as I'd like to be cuz I keep finding the crazy ones but at least I'm not acting like a lap dog anymore. I'm still far from a don jaun but I've at least learned how to get them to pursue me some instead of me doing all the work.

 

[Packers2010]

lol. yeah..i need to take heed of this.

great post man

 

[zinc4]

So what you're saying is dont care no matter what happens? Is this really what your mindset should be?

Yes it is...the OP is absolutely right...not caring is power...and women are attracted to it big time...if you don't care then the only person capable of making yourself feel bad is yourself...IMO some have this trait naturally and others have to train it like a muscle...

And you don't have to be a sociopath to not care about women...you just need to be above needing them...this doesn't mean to ignore them...just to not not be attached mentally nor emotionally nor physically for that matter...flirt and talk and have a lot of fun but don't be attached to outcomes..

I am getting much better at it myself...recently had 2 plates that i recently banged flake out on me...honestly, i don't care because now i have more time to meet new ones...when i begin to care that is when i start feeling unhappy and also i am not as good with women when i care...they can sense you trying to gain their approval or to achieve a goal with them be it relationship or sex.....if you only care about having fun and your personal ambitions (non-women) they will see you as very attractive and if they don't then who cares?

My biggest hurdle is my ego when talking about not caring...i tend to like to know that attractive woman want to be with me...but that is nothing but a pitfall....i still have a weakness in this area, but am making progress..

 

[PlayHer Man]

I agree for the most part. Its hard to be totally indifferent, but you should definitely avoid putting emotional energy into a woman who isn't doing the same.

Generally its best to use women only for sex until they prove they are worth more. If they never prove it.. well.. too bad. On to the next one.

 

[zinc4]

And women will always complain that a guy who broke her heart that he was an ******* that didn't care about her.....but at the same time they will bang him as soon as he wants her back or at the very least were putty in his hand at the time...moral of the story...be above the woman so you are on the pedasel and not her....no woman wants a guy they feel above and they will never feel above you subconsciously if you care less than they do...just learn not to care...

I have also noticed that when my GF at whatever time is saying i don't care enough about her that is when i have the most power in the relationship...it is also a huge blow to their ego when you aren't smothering them like most of their exes did and they are forced to become the pursuers in the relationship...really, i am not trying to brag but i am great in relationships because i am always the one who cares the least...getting them in the first place is much more difficult to me...