The post that changed my ways.

[Mr. Delicious]

ya that post about the B!tch girl also made me stop and think. I still dont know what I did wrong on that date though to make her act rude. She was kinoing me the whole time while laughing and smiling and leaning against me. Then she just did a 180 the next time i saw her. anyway thats off topic but thanks for the reply

 

[daredevil]

Bump!

This thread is truly DJ bible material!
Moderators - move it to tips and give it a sticky it's worth it.

 

[Oxide]

read this again guys.

 

[il_duce]

This post has made me remember one key thing. Many of you have heard it before, but it's true.

If the chick's interest for you isn't there, it's NEVER going to work. Again, if she isn't attracted to you, forget about it.

You can't force a girl to be attracted to you. The attraction needs to come over from her side of the fence before you can make it happen. There is nothing you can say or do that will win her over, if the bottom line is that she doesn't want you in the first place. Forget any tip or trick you'll learn on this site, because it won't work if she isn't attracted to you. No C&F line, no kino technique, no SS pattern will work if she isn't attracted to you in some way.

The only way you can "win her over" is by displaying characteristics that will make her attracted to you, by her own volition. Until you succeed in doing that, you'll be **** out of luck.

If you're frustrated about your lack of success with a woman, instead of trying to manipulate or change her into a woman who is attracted to you, first look at changing yourself instead. Improve your own life, and get some qualities that will attract her in the first place. It makes the game so much easier.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Can someone summarize this thread and tell me what happened?

That's too big Oxide!!!

 

[Duke]

OXIDE, I'm not worthy!! DAMN. The subject addressed in this post explains a whole fvcking hell of a lot. The way chicks would resist physical escalation, the fake numbers I've gotten, the seemingly high initial interest (really just politeness).

The goal is not to kiss her. The goal is not to fvck her. The goal is to be the person she longs desparately to kiss, to be the guy she gets wet for...to stir up those emotions in her that make her long and reach for more of you emotionally. That is TRUE GAME. Anything else is blind luck and foolsmates. Less work, more natural, everyone's happier.

This changes my whole frame of seduction. I've been in the game for a good year and a half, Oxide, and this post *clicked.*

Somebody Bible this right now.

 

[jakethasnake]

Yes, seriously. This is top-notch. Ground-breaking.

 

[DJDamage]

THE FOLLOWING STATMENTS SHOULD BE READ BY ALL NEWBIES ENTERING THIS SITE: THIS WILL SAVE A WHOLE LOT OF QUESTIONS.

QUOTE:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I see this often. When a guy becomes too focused on his own needs, and his objective of having a girl give him a phone number, or having her agree to spend time with him, it becomes too easy for him to overlook the essential step of getting the girl to WANT these things. Instead, it rapidly deteriorates into a push, push interaction every step of the way, asking for her number, asking for her to go outside, asking for her to agree to something. You need to jettison that viewpoint entirely.

Women will tend to go along with those little nudges, because they fear confrontations, but I guarantee they will be dropping hints the whole time that they don’t feel interested. They will make excuses, they will stall, they will exhibit a bored look on their face or even act a little rude.

Unfortunately, some guys become so accustomed to pushing for what they want, instead of attracting the woman into seeking him, that they keep pushing, and when the woman starts dropping even more blatant hints that she isn’t interested the pressure-oriented guy is liable to confront her about how she is being rude or unfriendly or whatever. Since chicks usually try to avoid confrontations, she may say that she is sorry and politely agree to something, but that is just more illusory success because it fails to accomplish the all important step of making her WANT the things she is agreeing to.

So...the fact that you were “respectful and direct” is not relevant from the standpoint of seduction. She doesn’t owe you her number or a date or sex, just because you are respectful and direct. Nothing short of arousing her interest and her desire so that SHE is seeking to be with you will do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS GOLD WHEN IT COMES TO APPROACHING!

 

[jakethasnake]

So by this reasoning, the good looking men have a real edge in on-the-spot attraction creation. Your looks. It's there. In your face. It's hard to ignore.


But to demonstrate value (to attract women) in ways other than looks? It take more effort, and usually more time. Often multiple encounters. In this sense, the bar/club scene is a crapshoot for most men who aren't good looking.


What doe this mean? It probably means you should work on different venues.


This post is not to bytch. I don't feel sorry for myself only more determined to work what I have to my best ability/advantage.

 

[Oxide]

This post honestly makes my jaw drop every single time i read it. It is against most of everything we are "taught to do" here, however there is nothing truer than this when it comes to real life.

God damn, i thought i learned this lesson. And what am i doing now? I got 5 numbers of girls i wanted to get with. Every single one of them turned out to be a "flake".... it is time to start actually realizing that while YOU ARE THE PRIZE, at the same time THE WOMAN DOESNT KNOW THIS.

Walk up to a woman and say, "Im the best man in town. Lets have sex".... and see what happens...

Now if you GIVE HER A CHANCE to find out that you are the best man in town..without firing out reasons why you are... then your chances of NOT getting any are quite slim.

 

[jiza101]

So basically we are out there to impress the chick, and the other thought of "you are the man the girl chases you" is different form of seduction :/. This **** gets confusing but i can kind of understand it, but i am yet to see this "aura" that alphas emit that femals love and get attracted to. Someone show me a video or something of this "aura" cause i dont understand it, or being in the presence of someone with this "aura".

 

[Oxide]

I've read the Royal Elite's post about SOB, and this relates to that quite a bit.


When i look back at my encounters, i see that the best results i've ever got (best and most faithful girls) are the one's that were looking to hook up with me before i even considered it.

Dont get me wrong, you cant just expect the woman to approach you, ask you out, kiss you, take your pants off... this isnt how women work ( this is where all the nice guys start crying... this is #1 nice guy's dream)

Women, if they like you WILL GIVE YOU signs, you just need to have a basic understanding of flirting, and recognize when she is giving you positive feedback. (i dont go on IOI like ASF, all that stuff is way too overcomplexed for me..)

Right now i look at general things..

Does she look at me (check me out for a longer period of time) when we first meet?
Does she ask me questions (Does she pull instead of me pushing?)
Does she initiate body contact? (Kino, if you like..)

That is basically it. I do all three, if girl does them back, we are in like flynn


However, you must know when these signs happen and be ready to go for it (take action)..

Nice guys never notice the sign, the woman keeps giving em out but loses interest overtime becuase of no response. = No result

A jerk will not look for the signs and go for it... = No result, or very limited result (sluts)

A good guy sees the sign, and either Goes for it, or TEASES the girl becuase he realized the signs (not to be overdone)

Simple people. Really simple yet very effective.

-Oxide

 

[dearsappho]

Just when I thought this forum was dying theres comes a plethora of beautiful, fresh and inspiring posts.

Thank God for The DJ Forum!

 

[Don Juanabbe]

This is f*cking gold.

 

[skeeloo]

good post, overall long i couldnt finish evrything.



well i hardly seen girls actually approach guys, but i saaw it today at the train 5 seats in front of me .
she asked the dude what he was reading and they changed numbers within 4 mins.(also depends on how the dude plays the card right ) she was older than him though.

thats good for him though,

but then if a guy waits on the girl to approach everytime then that dude is definately a wuss.

 

[yunghova35]

this is good i think that thing that a lot of newbie or people that didnt get it think its about looks but it about showing her you stand out that your NOT a wuss.

i mean they say it all say show her that she need you, and its not about looks its about being the PRIZE and SHOWING her your the PRIZE. i mean showing her that she need you can be doing something as simple as walking with confidence, not asking for a formal date, speach tone, congruency.

good post

 

[rjaudenes]

Perfect!


This post answered all of my questions, now I can understand the dynamics of the seduction.



Thanks sosuave!

 

[duke007]

This post speaks truth in many ways but still doesn't solve the problem of a high flake rate with cold approaches. It's hard to push and pull when you see the girl at one moment in time and won't see her again unless you number close.

If Richard pulled back after her first sign of being "torn", she would have put it behind her and nothing would have came of it. It's all about first impressions.

But yes, conveying that you're the greatest catch and not chasing too much are definitely pearls of wisdom.

 

[Oxide]

Think about it Soda, do you want a great, sexy girl?

What makes you think a girl doesnt wish for a great guy?

When she meets you, she (just like guys) decide if they find you attractive. For that minute you get that number you can make her realize that you two have similar tastes, or connect about something... You shouldnt come out and start saying .. "Well, im great in bed, and i love animals, and i hate to cook".. but you can most certanly let her find that stuff out by talking to you and asking you questions. She is talking about animals, say "Yeah i love em!".. she thinks "Cool, i do too"... she pulls...

Cold approach within a minute is strictly pushing... unless you are VERY good at what you are doing and leave a memorable impression.


Today i called a girl my friend knew. I never talked to her/saw her in my life. I call her up, and start talking, saying im a friend of a friend.. I joke with her, i ask her questions.. she giggles... 4 minutes later i tell her my name and my number, and make sure she repeats them to me. I wasnt pushing... i called her and just wanted to get to know her. Then i said "You got my digits, call me up we will go salsa dancing sometime"... that's it. If she is interested, she will pull. If not, i am not concerned.


There IS a difference between giving the power of decision a girl who is SHY or INDECISIVE (her opinion about you isnt clear) . I've made this mistake before.. You meet a girl, and instead of getting the digits you decide to 'play it cool' and just give her your number... Now if you actually want to get to know this girl, and you arent sure if she feels the same, this is a very stupid move.
She wont call, you'll wonder why she isnt calling...nothign happens.


On the other hand, when you know a girl is interested, there is nothing wrong about giving her the digits and telling her to hit you up. If she isnt shy, she will.


exchanging numbers usually equals you getting hers. If you have hers, why would she call you instead? She is a woman, she "wasnt raised that way"... So dont exchange unless you know a woman is able to get her sh1t together and give you a ring.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

what went on there reminded me A LOT of David DeAngelo type stuff... which brings back to what he always says "ATTRACTION isn't a choice!"