The POF opener to end all openers!

[pete101]

If it were me, I would simply ignore her and continue looking for other women to fill your weekend.

I think patience is a big thing when it comes to sarging online."Rapport building" if you will. Take time to swap a few emails-- then texts or phone calls...then you invite her to join you for a cup of coffee or drink...even though you pulled the trigger perhaps a bit too quickly, at least you flushed her out. Moving on and giving her the silent treatment shows her that you're man enough to walk away, and she will respect you for it.

My advice? Don't text her. And don't be surprised if she texts you out of the blue to say hello or even to let you know that she's available Sunday. If she does this, my advice is to text her back, saying, "sorry hon I've already made plans." Don't offer a raincheck--just see if she texts you back, offering another date opportunity. If she doesn't respond to that, then just let her go anyway.

There are indeed women that enjoy just texting and emailing. They have no intention of meeting anyone. You have to at some point "punish" these types for not taking the step of meeting you. You want to be patient and develop some rapport. But you can't be afraid to eventually take them out of their comfort zone and test her interest in you. Flush these types out by making them say yes or no--and accept nothing in between--no maybe's or "wait until____." Once you stop emailing or texting her, she'll either move on in search of a texting buddy or she will let you know that she is ready to meet up.

Just keep swinging the bat though, pete101. Eventually you WILL be able to effortlessly snag a date. It may not be a HB 8 or 9 or 10, but it'll happen. It's all about patience.

Can I ask something?

i've noticed you mentioned before that you'll exchange a few msgs, use IM, then call, then meet.. to me this seems all quite long winded and if i can get a meet up without needing to IM or call that would make the most sense.. but there must be a reason why you're going through the extra motions.. is it to limit the amount of flaking cos you're building rapport? i.e. if you talk on the phone you're not some stranger who's just writing?

does it make a difference whether they're internet dating virgins or whether they're veterans?

i've noticed the veterans are eager to meet up asap cos i think they realise that rapport and chemistry in writing is not the same in real life and have been disappointed too many times plus they want validation and opportunity to reject you and get a free meal/drink. like they want you to want them but also want to reject you.

i feel like i need to change my profile as your 1 is brief but states what you're looking for, mine definitely reads like a resume.. not good.

at the same time im reluctant to change it as i've created this facade that i dont need internet dating with that 1 hot girl i've been trying to meet so if i change my profile she'll suss i'm not having much luck on it.. right now she has no idea who i'm talking to or who i'm meeting bar the fact i realised i f'd up last week when she asked me 'what are you up to on a mid week like this?'

basically i knew it was a test but i didn't know how to answer it.. i thought i needed to sound like i was busy doing exciting stuff, so i wrote out exactly what i was doing but none of it inferred i was seeing girls.. and the test was for her to find out if i had other girls in line or not. even though what i was doing was exciting she lost interest after that. (didn't ask me a question in the next message, challenge was over)

whereas she was brief 'hoping to go out as planned' she never says what she's doing only infers she's going out.. this is exactly how i should have answered. but never mind. at least i recognised it was a test in the 1st place.

 

[pete101]

My responses in bold.

Thing is what about the girls who are super hot and classy who will have a lot of men contacting them. do you think she'll still meet up with other guys from POF even if she has a really good date with one of them and is head over heels?

Or do women still go cos IL is temporary and they need a new fix?

It seems like you need to create the illusion you have loads of women in the pipeline.. once they've dispelled that your value drops, like in my case just purely on the basis of the fact i answered 1 question wrong about what i was doing that night. it's crazy.

Also do you think the fact she added me to favorites straight after telling 'then we better postpone it as it might clash with my other plans' is just circumstantial and a reactionary response from her to retain my attention? i.e. buttering me up cos she knew that rejecting my time to let me know she felt the needed to keep me sweet.

i just felt that it's neither complimentary nor negative but a way for her to track when i'm on and keep me sweet. so i'm suspicious.

how much effort do you put in to keep pursuing 1?

i mean this is the 2nd time i've offered a time today and unfortunately she hasn't been on yet to see it so that's an auto rejection. if she doesn't offer me a time for tomorrow then i think i should just NC her.

 

[Daniel_March]

you cannot win in environment highly competitive between males cause girls have all the power. more chances to get laid from street pick up

 

[pete101]

yeah i think she's pretty much an attention wh0re or not that interested. she completely deflected my offer of meeting up and asked me what i was doing today instead.

i brought it back to the issue of saying i could squeeze her in.

then i went on to say something along the lines of i wouldnt want her missing out on seeing me and have some other pretty girl take her place (jealousy tactic) then i said we should only meet for an hour or so and that i dont know if i will like her when i meet her but im sure she's up to the challenge of convincing me.. but i made sure i said i was kidding in case she took the message to heart and thought i was arrogant.

no reply yet. not looking good. i have to next her.

 

[pete101]

^^^Don't worry about it. You're learning how to deal with these types of chicks. Just keep your profile visible and don't be afraid to keep approaching.

this is what is so shocking. she replied in the end some long winded msg about she wants to meet blah blah blah not actually answering my direct question so im not gona reply and just wait it out. and when she does give 1 line answers with a smile at the end. i need to balance out the not looking butt hurt and the not interested angle.

anyway i have a date tomorrow night with a girl who is appearing to be highly interested. very strange. like literally dropping everything to come see me. coming to where i suggested. the right time. basically everything i want. we even got into an argument and she still wants to see me!

this must be what high IL feels like..?

 

[MaddXMan]

Espi knows what he's talking about here, it takes patience.

I have good success with pof. I'm seeing 2 right now, and one of them is taking me to see Social Distortion tonight, so that's cool.

But the weirdest thing: In the last 5 days, I stopped getting responses. No one writes back. There were 5 that I was in mid-banter with, they quit rsponding. I'm used to dry spells but not like this. I sent a message to myself just to make sure it went thru and it did haha, it's got me feeling paranoid.

 

[shizz702]

Just wanted to update this.

2 lays so far, and working on 2 more that are going well that I number closed on.

Number closed Monday night and set up a time to talk the next day.

Called and chatted for a bit and something that I thought was funny, was we got to talking about the site and she started laughing and telling me how my message really mind f<cked her and that she had to respond. Then she started reading me other dudes messages in her inbox with the typical complimenting of her profile and nice guy lame stuff and she was just laughing saying how she never responds to any of it.

I thought it was some good insight just to how these chicks are thinking on there. I then, quickly cut that topic out and got to setting up meeting for drinks on the weekend.

Point being fellas is give them a reason to respond, the typical hey cutie thing ain't cutting it. Send them something to get a rise out of them or play it as a numbers game and keep it simple like espi recommends and don't waste your time putting too much thought in it.

 

[Lord Shinra]

One thing I noticed on OKC and POF was that these broads dont really read your profile; or, if they do, they just skim it without really understanding what the hell youre talking about.
For example, on mine, I wrote pure nonsense, in fact, in one sentence I wrote "The b1thces here dont read this sh!t, so I'm not going to actually put anything worthwhile here" in the middle of a paragraph. Its never even been mentioned.

 

[metoo]

god, what a bunch of sad sacks. Go DO something to make yourself a better man! Learn to make big money, learn to fight, shoot, work on cars, get fit, climb mountains, etc. You know, like be worth a spit as a man, instead of some moonstruck ***** hound.

I was a cherry boy until I was 26, and you know what? It didn't hurt my sex life one bit, it let me learn a lot, earn a lot, and avoid a lot of trouble and heart/headaches. quit letting the gina run your life, guys.

 

[Lord Shinra]

god, what a bunch of sad sacks. Go DO something to make yourself a better man! Learn to make big money, learn to fight, shoot, work on cars, get fit, climb mountains, etc. You know, like be worth a spit as a man, instead of some moonstruck ***** hound.

I was a cherry boy until I was 26, and you know what? It didn't hurt my sex life one bit, it let me learn a lot, earn a lot, and avoid a lot of trouble and heart/headaches. quit letting the gina run your life, guys.

GFY. I, along with many others on this forum, already have a life outside of this. You arent a special cause because you got some hobbies.
This is all about discussions. We discuss things, which if you want to break it down, helps us understand human psyche and interactions. Kind of like learning sociology but without the Freud lesson.

Hence, a discussion board should be about discussions. Not some holier-than-thou "Get hobbies and you can do this like me!!!" responses.

 

[BlackMack177]

I like that opener. I'm give it a shot sometime when I'm on the net and bored.

I've gotten to the point where I no longer take online dating seriously. I post some pics, write some BS on my profile, and then go from there. I don't see it as worth writing a poetic profile and putting up my best pics just impress some broads on the net who probably won't respond anyways.

I don't even think of these broads as real people until I got them on the phone and we meeting up somewhere.

Truth is a lot of these broads online just want conversation or attention. To me, gettin a response means nothing. Nothing means anything until you hittin that ass. I've had a billion responses online, many things can happen after:

Chicks stop responding out of nowhere

You think you're having a good convo, then go for the number, only to have them give some BS excuse as to why they can't talk

You get the number and they never respond

I could go on, but my point is that sweating this sh1t is lame. And I'm having soooo much more fun clowning these girls and not giving a sh1t

 

[Purefilth]

Bump for shizz, 5/5 responses very fast(dropped a plate and opened pof again lol - don't ask!)

 

[betheman]

an opener I used with reasonable effect was..."are you any good at kissing? its important! " that was it.
now, women like kissing, they all think they are good at it, the best, so they are likely to respond mostly through indignation and curiosity, not all but most. this also gets the door open to sex talk straight away with those who do respond, filtering is then pretty easy, if they like you, they continue, if they dont, next!!! its quite a simple but effective opener

 

[abbey sha]

Bump for shizz, 5/5 responses very fast(dropped a plate and opened pof again lol - don't ask!)

What drink you drinking please tell me.

 

[Purefilth]

What drink you drinking please tell me.

try it, its not bad, instantly tell if she has a sense of humor or not, and therefore worth my time.

 

[fredcuny95]

Whatever.

 

[joydivision]

The OP is right with this. Get attention first, even if it's confused or slightly bad attention, and then at least you've got the stage. Then generally curve the direction of conversation more favourably.

And meeting women off POF is doable, I've done it and ended up in the houses of some very beautiful women. Only one, well two, night stands with any of them, but that's what happens when you go for that route.