The Phone Should Only Be Used To Set Up Dates

[Boxer00]

Vulpine, you seem to be the one arguing hammering out a 3 page essay on the thing. My generation texts since it's fast and easy and everybody does it. It can be done doing other things when you can't talk on the phone. Women need to hear your voice? LOL. Go on a free dating site and you can set up date right on the site. Girls don't care about hearing your voice. Girls only care what you look like. Why argue when it serves the purpose? Old guys need to get modern.

Dasein, a confusing post to say the least. What's the difference if you call or text when you're getting dates? Isn't that your goal? Are you going to tell David Ortiz that he must have the same batting stance as Giancarlo Stanton? Why would you tell another guy he has to game chicks the same way?

 

[dasein]

Dasein, a confusing post to say the least. What's the difference if you call or text when you're getting dates? Isn't that your goal? Are you going to tell David Ortiz that he must have the same batting stance as Giancarlo Stanton? Why would you tell another guy he has to game chicks the same way?

Fair enough, man, do what you want, there are many ways to skin cats. Some things you just have to learn for yourself. To repeat, we aren't trying to spoil someone's fun or whatever, we are trying to help you not make the mistakes we made... and repeated. Good luck.

 

[dasein]

Remember pager codes? -69, -911, -411, etc? Wanna talk about "status symbols"? That was back when digital beeping wasn't heard commonly. Now, you can't leave the house without hearing beeps, ringtones, people yelling into their phone like it's a tin can on a string... cellphones are less novel then pagers were in their day, simply because the digital technology was "new". "What's that crazy beeping noise? You hear that? What IS that? Sssh! It's buzzing! Listen! What the hell is that!?"

Hilarious. I remember working for a big company and the gossip girls were running around "WE'RE GETTING BEEPERS!! WE'RE GETTING BEEPERS!!" I was like. "they're making us get beepers?" "No, only people who want one." I'm like "What are you f-ing retarded? you WANT that?" Same thing working for a big law firm a few years later, "We're getting FREE BLACKBERRIES!! all you have to do is request one!!" I just looked at them like the moonbat crazy little idiots they were. "Ladies, there are no FREE blackberries, why don't you just get some shackles and a ball-chain, same damn thing." "You're such an ass, dasein, Mr. NOFUN." 6 months later, I asked them how their "FREE blackberries" were going and got the finger in the mouth vomit sign in return. Some things never change. Let some of these younger guys get some years on them and they'll be making the vomit sign about texting soon enough, guaranteed.

 

[RangerMIke]

I don't text because it is a weaker verison of communication compared to talking to them over the phone or in person. You can justify all you want that texting is fine, but it is not nearly as good as in person or over the phone.... but for crying out loud I'm not suggesting that you communicate over the phone either, call make a date, get off the fvcking phone.

Second, I don't want my words forwarded to all her fvcking friends to get disected and analysed, or saved later to bite me in the @ss.

 

[Rainman4707]

My Girlfriend is ringing me a lot. She always rings me. I never ring her, but when she does ring me...Damn that woman can talk :yes: she rang me tonight & was on the phone for 45 mins, then she rang an hour later for another 45 mins (she spoke 93% of the time) I just sat back & listened.

I remember one Don Juan who had a great Repuation saying he dose'nt mind if his girl rings him as he wants her to feel she can.

My girl has rang me the last four nights each call at least forty five mins

 

[Lotus Effect]

Seriously...?
Is this discussion still going on...?

I've been off this site for almost an year, and you guys are still talking about this

What a bunch of loosers!

The thing is. It does not matter! The only thing that matters is your confidence.

I prefer calling over texting tenfold. But it does not mean that texting is useless. Im excellent at texting. But im surprinsing by calling.

And thats spicy things up even more. Simply because when I text, which is rarely, Im also surprising.

But the thing is, do what works for you, and quit this democrats/republican bulls#it

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Yeah... so, I think because the parts I put in bold in my OP were all about texting that people thought the whole post itself was about texting. Not actually the case - the post was actually about how, regardless of whether a guy is calling or texting, that most are relying on the phone WAAAAY TOO MUCH as a means of trying to build rapport with a woman, when they should instead be using it to get an in-person meet up with her to build rapport that way. You guys on here already know my feelings about over-texting, but over-calling can be just as bad - both give off signals of neediness, not having a life, and bordering on being annoying to the woman being texted/called.

To Rainman's point: when a girl gets to the girlfriend phase, she's usually going to be the one most likely to hit you up - which, in my opinion, is how it should be. YOU should be doing other things when she's not around BESIDES calling/texting her so it gives her the incentive to call YOU. And even then, you should be trying to keep those phone calls at a low time - I tend not to go over 15 minutes with a girl I'm dating and have developed many, many methods to get me off the phone without sounding rude or hurting their feelings.

However, my OP isn't talking about men dealing with girlfriends - no, this was based solely on the posts I've read on here time and time again about men getting with NEW girls and trying to build up their interests by contacting them day after day. Were it not a problem that existed I wouldn't have even pointed it out, but again - since I see multiple posts like that on here every friggin' day... me, being a "Relationship Observationalist," had observed that the Vegas odds of being able to increase a woman's interest over the phone is significantly LOWER than when it's being done in person. As I've said tons of times on here, I give out advice based on probability - so, while one can't say it's never been done in the history of forever, I don't base my advice on the "exception to the rule" cases; I base it on what has a better chance of a guy getting the results he wants with a woman. And so far, I have yet to be convinced that the majority of guys should turn over all their seduction methods to texts and phone calls, or have that be a main focal point. Texts and calls don't allow for the influence of things like pheromones, dilated pupils, touch, and the other physical things that help to quicken the pace of attraction, which is why I advocate for the phone being used moreso as a means to meet in person so these other things can take place.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I totally agree with your OP Harry.

Despite one or two things, most of the time I agree with your advices. They are always solid.

My problem is not with your Original Post. My problem is with little kids disrespectfully calling experienced guys Old ass about sh*t they don't know!

And this ramble is going on for ages. ¬¬

 

[Rainman4707]

So guys, what would you do if you're girlfriend rang you at least once in two days (45 minute calls) she does 93% of the talking.

I can understand what another user said in a another thread about him wanting her to feel that if she wants to call him can she can.

It is a good way to keep in touch, but??

 

[asa_don]

Seriously...?
Is this discussion still going on...?

I've been off this site for almost an year, and you guys are still talking about this

What a bunch of loosers!

you're the loser that bumped a week old thread looking for attention, this thread exists because of harry. harry wrote it trying to peddle his products as usual.

The thing is. It does not matter! The only thing that matters is your confidence.

I prefer calling over texting tenfold. But it does not mean that texting is useless. Im excellent at texting. But im surprinsing by calling.

And thats spicy things up even more. Simply because when I text, which is rarely, Im also surprising.

But the thing is, do what works for you, and quit this democrats/republican bulls#it

right, so this thread is useless. it's just a preference, if a guy has confidence and does well with women it won't matter. why are you adding to an ended discussion to keep it going?

(45 minute calls)

45 minutes is way too long to talk on the phone, cut it down to 15 at the most, even that's too long, save all that for in person.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

45 minutes is way too long to talk on the phone, cut it down to 15 at the most, even that's too long, save all that for in person.

Finally, we agree on something, lol (Oh, and thanks for the post bump, too)

What would you do if you're girlfriend rang you at least once in two days (45 minute calls) she does 93% of the talking. I can understand what another user said in a another thread about him wanting her to feel that if she wants to call him can she can. It is a good way to keep in touch, but??

I have found that once you've made her the girlfriend, they're going to want to call you more. The problem isn't the calls so much as the feeling guys have that they need to entertain these calls for long periods of time. You don't. It's a simple solution, though: you give her the time she needs to hear from you (or have you hear from her, lol), but when you first pick up the phone you say something indicating that you have a small amount of time to talk but that you're about to be busy. For example:

HER: (Calls you up)
YOU: Hello?
HER: Hey Rainman, how are you?
YOU: Oh hey - I'm doing good! I'm actually about to (insert activity: work out, run some errand, meet with a friend, etc.), what's going on?
HER: Oh, you're busy? Never mind, I just wanted to talk for a bit..
YOU: Well, I got about 10 minutes or so to spare, what's up?

This way, you're letting her feel like she's still an important part of your life because, despite how busy you are, you're generous enough to fit her in. At the same time, you're letting her know your time on the phone will be limited because you have other things to do.

What I also found is that the main reason they call constantly is because they want to feel like you actually want to be around them and enjoy having her in your life. Which you should. The mistake I made early on, though, was trying to convey this point - I'd always tell girls I wasn't a phone guy, but they would sound like they were getting butt-hurt when I wanted to hang up. It wasn't until I figured out the final part of this whole "phone thing" that they stopped getting hurt, and it was this: that the purpose of the call was to make sure I wanted them around... which meant I needed to let them know that by setting up a meet-up for the near future. That way, they'd get it that I actually enjoy their company, even if I don't want to be on the phone for a long time.

So, to go back to the previous exchange... at the end of the call:

HER: Well, I guess I'll let you go. I miss you...
YOU: Aww, well, thanks for calling babe... oh, by the way: If your Sunday night is free, keep it open - I was thinking we should go out and (insert activity - always have at least 3 to 5 things in mind at any time)
HER: Yeah, that sounds great!
YOU: Great! Can't wait to see ya - okay, talk to ya soon!
HER: Bye (sounding all excited)

Now she's happy because by planning a date with her on the phone before I hung up she knows I want her around; and - more importantly - I'm happy because I got to get the heck off the phone

Hope this helps!

 

[saberu]

Depends on the girl. Some girls will think if you just want to meet straight away without chatting that you are just after sex which is fine if they are willing to be your 'plate' ie just sex friends or one night stand but if they want something serious then you will turn them off.

If you want to meet girls who aren't sluts it's actually worth it to ask them some of those bull**** get to know you questions. If you are lucky you might even share a hobby with her. Hint: Any unisex hobby she has IS your hobby, makes you more interesting to her.

A friend of mine found a rich beautiful young wife because the girl was looking for something genuine and despite her high standards he used a mix of charm, shared hobbies and humor to win her over. Luckily for him she shared a lot of his hobbies but then no man is as lucky as my friend is in this respect. We are talking about an average looking 30 year old guy with average job hitting up a 22 year old hot rich girl with personality, smarts and mature. But honestly 90% of the hot girls I meet are just vain bimbos so it's luck of the draw to find one with personality.