Flabbergasped?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2005
- Messages
- 541
- Reaction score
- 12
I've been absorbing this info for a while now, and I have to say I'm a much better individual in terms of confidence and drive. However, when it comes to women, I have a conundrum.
-Being average looking, my composure generally draws the attention of HB5-7s pretty easily. Once I notice them noticing me, it's easy as pie. Push/pull, c&f, the whole nine yards. If it's a dance club, it's even worse, I just grind with some specially tailored kino, get the kiss, and off we go.
-When it comes to 8-9.9s, I don't have that initial attraction. They naturally have higher "standards" in looks because they are hit on so much, so it takes some game. The problem is, I can't function unless the attraction is there, so I do everything in my power, subconsciously, to make it appear. This leads to me qualifying myself to her again and again. Dropping my name early, talking too much, forcing the whole 'disinterest' charade, giving one person my undivided attention. By then, I've already shot myself in the foot and I usually just exit the set, angry at myself.
That's the crux of my problem. If a girl is attracted to you, and you don't give her what she wants, it's child's play. What do you do when she's not?
Take the MM approach, lean backwards as if you're walking away, and ask an opinion? I'm not very good at using MM's material. Go Gunwitch, get horny, and start something up? The HB 8-9.9 isn't really paying attention to you, so you need to get her attention first, and doing that with Gunwitch on usually seems telegraphing interest. Tried it before, crashed and burned because I pretty much eye-fvcked the chick too fast.
How do you build attraction when someone isn't into you right from the start, and how do you do this while remaining detached? To be honest, I've only succeeded when I was really pissed and just started negging the hell out of this one HB9, but I'm usually not so abusive when I open sets.
I feel like I already know the answer, but can't make it crystal-clear in my mind. A few solutions I've come up with:
-Drink a lot less when I sarge in clubs, etc. I usually end up talking way too much, or being very unclear with what I say and having to repeat myself.
-Focus less on the approach. It's so counter-intuitive, but when you're really not 'interested' (going out of your way to get their attention), you end up getting it anyway.
-Spend my time improving my life. I seriously think I need a break from DJing. I pretty much dropped organic chem because I was spending my Thurs. nights trying to get laid instead of sleeping for the vital Friday lecture. Just gotta sort out my priorities, I'm going to take it easy for the next few weeks and just go with the flow.
Yea, I think I answered my own question, but I'll post this in case there are any thoughts.
-Being average looking, my composure generally draws the attention of HB5-7s pretty easily. Once I notice them noticing me, it's easy as pie. Push/pull, c&f, the whole nine yards. If it's a dance club, it's even worse, I just grind with some specially tailored kino, get the kiss, and off we go.
-When it comes to 8-9.9s, I don't have that initial attraction. They naturally have higher "standards" in looks because they are hit on so much, so it takes some game. The problem is, I can't function unless the attraction is there, so I do everything in my power, subconsciously, to make it appear. This leads to me qualifying myself to her again and again. Dropping my name early, talking too much, forcing the whole 'disinterest' charade, giving one person my undivided attention. By then, I've already shot myself in the foot and I usually just exit the set, angry at myself.
That's the crux of my problem. If a girl is attracted to you, and you don't give her what she wants, it's child's play. What do you do when she's not?
Take the MM approach, lean backwards as if you're walking away, and ask an opinion? I'm not very good at using MM's material. Go Gunwitch, get horny, and start something up? The HB 8-9.9 isn't really paying attention to you, so you need to get her attention first, and doing that with Gunwitch on usually seems telegraphing interest. Tried it before, crashed and burned because I pretty much eye-fvcked the chick too fast.
How do you build attraction when someone isn't into you right from the start, and how do you do this while remaining detached? To be honest, I've only succeeded when I was really pissed and just started negging the hell out of this one HB9, but I'm usually not so abusive when I open sets.
I feel like I already know the answer, but can't make it crystal-clear in my mind. A few solutions I've come up with:
-Drink a lot less when I sarge in clubs, etc. I usually end up talking way too much, or being very unclear with what I say and having to repeat myself.
-Focus less on the approach. It's so counter-intuitive, but when you're really not 'interested' (going out of your way to get their attention), you end up getting it anyway.
-Spend my time improving my life. I seriously think I need a break from DJing. I pretty much dropped organic chem because I was spending my Thurs. nights trying to get laid instead of sleeping for the vital Friday lecture. Just gotta sort out my priorities, I'm going to take it easy for the next few weeks and just go with the flow.
Yea, I think I answered my own question, but I'll post this in case there are any thoughts.
