The other side...

[djbr]

Just sharing some thoughts with you dudes. Feel free to add, question or anything!

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When I joined this forum, I was fvcked up in the head hardly as one man could be. Had a woman who sucked all she could of me, I was desperately looking for answers.

This forum was to me like water in the desert. I kept drinking posts and posts and feeling better every day after.

Nothing changed, in fact. I was still that AFC. Had the nerve to get back with the woman that sent me here just to have more of the worse. Oh well, I dumped her again. And things that happened after this made me realize some valuable things…

I, being a guy who had every little sign of his manhood severely repressed (DON'T BE AN ******* BOY!), become a natural introvert, a amazingly well-educated AFC. So when I found this forum, it felt so good to be here just reading and theorizing. It still is. And I know many people feel this too.

Some guys who aren’t ugly, obese, nothing. Just fine. But people repressed them so much that they just forget who they really are. They try to meet some expectation, of course, without success. And keep going.

But there is one day that we got to take action, we got to take control of our lives. That's me now. I started to handle my life. Step by step. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed, and this forum made me see all of them. I'm fixing it all. I wake up every day and know that I did something yesterday that will result in a better tomorrow, and that makes me feel good. And I don't want to look at it without the beauty that comes with it.

What beauty? Hehe... I will be successful. In fact, I think any person who take the time to really absorb the information on this forum will. The beauty I see is that, when we become who we really want to be, we will have an advantage over almost everybody:

We've seen the other side.

How many naturals have been disrespected HARD by women? How many "jerks" know what it is to be the source of all the jokes? Mostly, they do not. And because of that, they feel confortable in their own skins, and never tried to analyze themselves, see who they are and what they can do to improve. They just enjoy their luck all their lives, without even thinking about it.

Things are different for us. We were made fun of, we were disrespected. We felt the urge to change. And change doesn't happen overnight you know. It’s a long and painful road. And in this road we face many hard things about ourselves and life in general. But that’s a GREAT opportunity. A individual message to all of us: Know yourself. Embrace yourself. See your flaws clearly as you can. Remember all these times this guys made fun of you, and laugh. Laugh hard dude, because one day they'll be with their brains smoking trying to answer WTF you possibly have done to become such a cool guy.

They’ll never understand it, because they have not seen the other side. They don’t know how bad one person may possibly feel when made fun of, when people show no signs of respect, when women don’t even smile when you smile to them. They don’t have a clue how it feel to be alone on a Saturday night, thinking about people who are having a hell lot of fun.

But we have been there. And when we reach the mastery, we will be ahead of them, because we know ourselves. We weren’t a product of “destiny”, we molded it. We have a grip on our lives. And we have the power to push it to any area of our lives we may want to.


They don’t.

 

[tmpgstx]

Good post .. but would like to add something. Being in control and successful with your life won't get the girls, at least not the right type of girl who can appreciate it as such and not there to be using you for what you have.

It takes contacts, and getting to know girls that are worth their salt. Many of us run into the problem of not meeting any because of our professions etc., so we go round and round with these AWs who are at the bar every weekend. It's all we got to work with, because all the decent ones are taken and not out that often. It's true.

Many of us here are really successful financially, good looking etc. , but if you don't know any girls that are on your level, then it isn't easy. If you do meet them, they are always taken, so you have to weigh the situation in terms of mutual attraction etc. and determine to go for her or not, providing she may be in a relationship for practicality and comfort zone reasons.

See the bottleneck here? It's not about being AFC, as many of us have learned to overcome our BS with past relationships, it's about marketing ourselves and targeting the decent/nice girl.

 

[Qualtran]

I joined this forum nearly 3 years ago. I have always had just about everything going for me in terms of looks, intelligence, exciting life, money, etc., but the one thing that has always held me back is low social confidence. Girls have always been attracted to me, but for the longest time in high school, I had such low confidence that I would mess it up every time.

Once I started college, I was doing quite a bit better, and getting plenty of girls, but I still lacked some basic knowlege about how to conduct myself in relationships and social situations. So I joined these boards my second semester of college.

This board has been a valuable guide for me teach myself how to be a social person, and not do stupid AFC things in relationships. I think more than anything, it has shown me the way to being happy with who I am and therefore much more confident. I'm still here learning, but over the years this has been a great source.

 

[tmpgstx]

Good for you Qualtran .. but you're probably not into the Tech degrees (and not Information Technology ), we be talking the serious stuff.

Because i can guarantee that if you were, you'd have one girl for every 15 guys in a class (and this is a generous number). You can be Brad Pitt with a genius IQ, but it won't to amount to jack without any contacts or social circles.

 

[Qualtran]

Because i can guarantee that if you were, you'd have one girl for every 15 guys in a class (and this is a generous number). You can be Brad Pitt with a genius IQ, but it won't to amount to jack without any contacts or social circles.

Yeah, that would make it more difficult, but its just an obstacle not a impermeable wall. Even though the scene at my college is pretty full of cute, cool, intelligent girls, I have met plenty outside of this context. It is very important to maintain those contacts and social circles, especially if you are in a 1:15 situation!

 

[tmpgstx]

Think about this too .. all your friends are single with no contacts from these classes and in the outside context also because they're all nerds!

We're not just talking intelligent .. but very intelligent. In other words, these girls that are intelligent are easily intimidated by guys who are extremely intelligent as in these classes etc.

Where i work, it's funny because have heard thru the grapevine some girls say they hate coming into to where i we are (in a lab with three other dudes), because they feel so stupid around us.

Where i'm at too, there is very little in the way of techie girls if at all. There is however one that i find really appealing .. she isn't techie at all, but intelligent nonetheless and can handle visiting 'the lab' lol .. which she likes to do. It's a thing where we both know we like each other, but she's currently in a relationship but don't know how serious (like in marriage terms), so am going to find out more!