SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
O great power of mighty thumbs, How so do you drop so plentiful panties so effortlessly?
Its 2014 homie, and society no longer has social skills. That means most of the chicks you pickup aren't trying to have a chat with you over the phone, accept any pages or respond to any bottled messages and would prefer to participate in a series of exchanged pixels with coded messages back and fourth (texts). Here's the guideline to help Men polish their texting abilities and text their way into some panties.
RULES OF THUMB(get it?)
1.) Keep messages short. Texting was designed for short focused messages. Don't attempt to text any of your hoes your opinion on Darwinism or the square root of m=MC squared.
2.) 3:1 ratio. Basically means for every 3 times she initiates, you initiate once. A better way to put it is, the female should always initiate more than you do. Make her invest.
3.) Quit with the "lols" every line, your not texting Dumbo, the very hilarious clown. "lol" should be used sparingly when the chick actually said something amusing. I see guys sending texts like "Nothing, heading to the gym lol" or "What you upto lol" Ain't SH1T funny, cut it out.
4.) Emojis. If you are a grown man, own a Iphone, and text using emojis, you are a fag. Emojis were designed for women, don't use them. Not this
or this or this :/ Its all gay. The only one that's on the Nationally Approved Renowned Non-Gay list is and it most be accompanied with intense sexual innuendo.
5.) Take some time. Don't text back the instant youve heard you phone vibrate, relax. If she's texting at reasonable times, (replying every 5-30 mins) you simply match her reply time. (Not exactly) For example If she takes 15 mins to reply you take 17 or 18 but once reaches the unreasonable times (over a hour) you double it. Took her a hour to respond ? You shall require 2 hours and a half.
Note : This only applies if you have nothing going on, if you are a Dj you should be busy climbing mountains or fighting Lions or some sh1t and therefore reply to texts when you get to them. However in the event you are sitting on your ass, follow these rules and you'll be golden.
6.) Proper grammer. You don't have to go world renowned English scholar on them and the occasional shortening or misspelling is fine. But you're not in Highschool, and if you are this sh1t is dumb no texts like "Hay gurl U redy fer me to giv dat booti a thrashin"
7.) Dont text all day. Your not her bff. You don't have matching necklace lockets with pictures of each other inside. Stop this. Small conversation here, small one there, that's it. You shouldn't even have time to do this. But yet I know 30 yr. olds who text their b1tches all day like schoolgirls
8.) Keep them lighthearted. No deep convos, No childhood descriptions, No dreams of the future. You are not talking to her, you're texting. Let her say some sh1t, make a comment, laugh, joke, flirt, you're good.
Note: Just like when your talking to her, when the conversation reaches a highpoint just stop texting. End convos on highest energy and her hamster will spin to oblivion.
9.Sexual Innuendo/ Double Meanings. ever hear the saying "Porn is for men, romance novels are for women"? that sh1t is true. Studies show women get more turned on by words then men. I'm not lying, look it up. So make her imagination go wild. Usee double meanings, say some sh1t that could be interpretted as something else and her panties shall soak. eg: " I just wanna go really far down into it, get deep and lost you know? " (describing a book)
10.) Don't take it seriously. Remember, in texting, there are thousands of variables that can play into a texts true meaning. She may be sending one word texts cause she's uninterested or she may be busy and interested enough to still reply. Or she could be sleepy from that bj and rim Job she gave you earlier. Don't Overanalyze.
*Bonus*
Never send a text twice, if she didn't reply, you can assure yourself its not because she"didn't get it". Forget you texted her, and remember rule #5.
Follow these, and you'll be Gravy
Its 2014 homie, and society no longer has social skills. That means most of the chicks you pickup aren't trying to have a chat with you over the phone, accept any pages or respond to any bottled messages and would prefer to participate in a series of exchanged pixels with coded messages back and fourth (texts). Here's the guideline to help Men polish their texting abilities and text their way into some panties.
RULES OF THUMB(get it?)
1.) Keep messages short. Texting was designed for short focused messages. Don't attempt to text any of your hoes your opinion on Darwinism or the square root of m=MC squared.
2.) 3:1 ratio. Basically means for every 3 times she initiates, you initiate once. A better way to put it is, the female should always initiate more than you do. Make her invest.
3.) Quit with the "lols" every line, your not texting Dumbo, the very hilarious clown. "lol" should be used sparingly when the chick actually said something amusing. I see guys sending texts like "Nothing, heading to the gym lol" or "What you upto lol" Ain't SH1T funny, cut it out.
4.) Emojis. If you are a grown man, own a Iphone, and text using emojis, you are a fag. Emojis were designed for women, don't use them. Not this
or this or this :/ Its all gay. The only one that's on the Nationally Approved Renowned Non-Gay list is and it most be accompanied with intense sexual innuendo. 5.) Take some time. Don't text back the instant youve heard you phone vibrate, relax. If she's texting at reasonable times, (replying every 5-30 mins) you simply match her reply time. (Not exactly) For example If she takes 15 mins to reply you take 17 or 18 but once reaches the unreasonable times (over a hour) you double it. Took her a hour to respond ? You shall require 2 hours and a half.
Note : This only applies if you have nothing going on, if you are a Dj you should be busy climbing mountains or fighting Lions or some sh1t and therefore reply to texts when you get to them. However in the event you are sitting on your ass, follow these rules and you'll be golden.
6.) Proper grammer. You don't have to go world renowned English scholar on them and the occasional shortening or misspelling is fine. But you're not in Highschool, and if you are this sh1t is dumb no texts like "Hay gurl U redy fer me to giv dat booti a thrashin"
7.) Dont text all day. Your not her bff. You don't have matching necklace lockets with pictures of each other inside. Stop this. Small conversation here, small one there, that's it. You shouldn't even have time to do this. But yet I know 30 yr. olds who text their b1tches all day like schoolgirls
8.) Keep them lighthearted. No deep convos, No childhood descriptions, No dreams of the future. You are not talking to her, you're texting. Let her say some sh1t, make a comment, laugh, joke, flirt, you're good.
Note: Just like when your talking to her, when the conversation reaches a highpoint just stop texting. End convos on highest energy and her hamster will spin to oblivion.
9.Sexual Innuendo/ Double Meanings. ever hear the saying "Porn is for men, romance novels are for women"? that sh1t is true. Studies show women get more turned on by words then men. I'm not lying, look it up. So make her imagination go wild. Usee double meanings, say some sh1t that could be interpretted as something else and her panties shall soak. eg: " I just wanna go really far down into it, get deep and lost you know? " (describing a book)
10.) Don't take it seriously. Remember, in texting, there are thousands of variables that can play into a texts true meaning. She may be sending one word texts cause she's uninterested or she may be busy and interested enough to still reply. Or she could be sleepy from that bj and rim Job she gave you earlier. Don't Overanalyze.
*Bonus*
Never send a text twice, if she didn't reply, you can assure yourself its not because she"didn't get it". Forget you texted her, and remember rule #5.
Follow these, and you'll be Gravy
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