The official Borderline Personality Disorder thread [Merged]

[Blue Phoenix]

Holy sh!t, my brother is a BPD. Why?

He´s very angry, always moody, stubborn, rigid, anxious with close relatives. Yet with other people he´s very attentive, nice, caring, believes more in strangers than in his own family members. He´s addicted to porn. He´s insecure, dependent. He idolises girls, yet doesn´t respect my sister.

I always told my sister how fake he was, how double faced he was. It´s scary. I think it´s unconscious. He would always find my weaknesses, call me gay, say I had HIV, that I was skinny, that I was xxxx for any kind of confrontation, destroy things I liked. He doesn´t respect kindess. He would go "Thy hell may fall upon you MTFker" mode, he would crush me and lose control like we was going insane. Yet, it was more a show than anything else. I remember once I picked up a knife (to see how "tough" he was, and he never came closer" lol.) The way I used to piss him off was to make fun of his anger, to mock him. LOL he went mad!!!!! The way I live with him is simply ignoring him, not talking to him at all and not listening to what he says. Actually all those attacks shows how frustrated he is with himself and need some people "to blow off steam". I used to feel Sh!ttty but later I learned how to cope with that.

I would do a favor to him, and 4sec later he would tell me to go to hell!! He´s entitled, he thinks that whatever he thinks is the absolute truth. When he wants something he can fake empathy and can be really nice, but as soon as he gets what he wants he flips again. He´s jealous of other people´s success. Their failure is his pleasure. He´s pissed because I am what he is not, I´m his opposite. I have what I want and people respect me for this.

I really don´t know if this is only BPD, there may be another problem. My father is a NPD, and my mother a dependent woman who doesn´t defend herself. The mess is done!

 

[Blue Phoenix]

However are great match for BPD/HPD female is a NPD or Psychopath Male. They will never give enough for the other party to reach the flipping point. Sounds like a great relationship - yeah right. Heck, maybe the BPD/HPD woman then spends the entire time in the "too good to be true" mode. So at least the narcissist get's just what he wants; oodles or wild s3x, her doing everything to reach that point where she feels he loves him (so she can flip). Meanwhile he never commits, never indicates emotional investment, never says ILU - but hey that's all in a normal day for the narcissist.

Lol, this is mutal parasitism. BPD don´t value love, they sabotage it because they are afraid of being abandoned. Yet, they love NPD because that´s the kind of person with whom she can re-play what happened with her as a child, and maybe she will be able to change him into a better man, as if she was doing this to her probable NPD father. One looks full (NPD) while the other is empty (BPD;HPD). Yet, both are smokes and mirrors, both live an illusion.

The fact that the NPD never surrenders (never really loves) makes him the ultimate challenge to the BPD who has to prove her love at all times. They fill each other´s sieves! Lol. It´s interesting how our childhood influences who we are.

I have a cousin whose father was too controlling and abusive. Guess what? She´s engaged to a guy EXACTLY like this. It´s unbelievable! Another day through MSN she was asking me if I would do her!
The movie Butterfly Effect, shows how we can mess everything up if we do everything for a person but for ourselves. When Evan gets it, he starts a new life. He breaks the cycle of destruction.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Here´s why BPD and NPD pair so well. The only way they connect is through rage/sex.

http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

Why BPD/NPD cheat:

"Triangulation: This refers to the inclusion of a third element (person, pet, activity, substance) into a relationship, in order to ease the tension between two people. There's an old saying in the psychological community; "A three legged table is more stable than a two legged one." Personality disordered people have trouble maintaining healthy intimacy and relational stability, so they're more prone to having affairs. Borderlines and Narcissists typically fear attachment/closeness, so they might try to manage this concern by diverting their focus to another person. Illicit affairs are used to distract or divert from feelings the primary relationship evokes. Diversions often take the form of working longer hours, getting a new pet, alcohol/drug abuse, having a baby, etc. Basically, anything that takes attention off the couple's connection, triangulates the relationship. (Derives from the word, triangle.)"

 

[Die Hard]

What is scary is "Do they do that unaware or is it conscious?" Probably it´s unaware.

You're right. Most of their typical behavior is unaware. They don't come up with plans to seduce you, they haven't put a plan together with their ability to reason, it's all just automatic behaviour...they don't really think about what they're doing, they just do it, like acting on instinct. And it indeed is instinct! They've learned to apply this kind of behavior on their caretakers when they were an infant...when they got a bit older and made contact with the outside world (other people than their caretakers), they acted towards them the only way they knew: The way they learned to behave towards their caretakers. And this never changed, they've always been applying the same behavior towards every other person they encounter. They never knew anything else, and they never will. Their behavior has been consistent from their time as infants until now, it has been trained over and over and over again, towards each and every person they've encountered in their lives. So it really is instinct. The level of sophistication to their "methods" is something a normal person can only reach by putting a lot of thought into it, thinking very hard and long about ways to manipulate others and eventually device a plan for how they should behave. Which is basically what all of us are doing here on this forum...learning the tricks to manipulate the HB's and try to repeat them until they become automatic responses. So when a normal person encounters a BPD and realizes the tactics and tricks that BPS is applying, it's natural for him to think: "Wow, she must be really smart to have come up with all these tricks she's applying!" Wrong...I've known BPD's who were extremely stupid, their intelligence was ridiculously low. The thing is, their behavior has been condtioned, with each and every encounter they've had with each and every person, from early childhood until now. This kind of "training" has turned their behavior into second nature, they act without thinking, the behavior has been repeated so many times that it's become 100% instinctive and they can't act otherwise, even if they wanted to.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

You're right. Most of their typical behavior is unaware. They don't come up with plans to seduce you, they haven't put a plan together with their ability to reason, it's all just automatic behaviour...they don't really think about what they're doing, they just do it, like acting on instinct. And it indeed is instinct! They've learned to apply this kind of behavior on their caretakers when they were an infant...

Yeah you´re right!!! This BPD.HPD I know was very charming, later sensing I was hers, she started showing who she was, being disrespectful, angry, her mask was falling. As soon as I saw this I ejected, didn´t say anything to her. Later she asked me to hang out I said NO. Then intrigued because I was neither chasing her nor telling her about my feelings, she asked "What do you want from me?"

I CRUSHED her by saying "NOTHING" with a detached tone of voice, and left the room. She couldn´t believe it! She was pissed, why? She thought I was hers, actually I kind of was, but turned the tables on her. NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT. How could I be so smart and flip before being eaten alive? GREENE saved me!!

TAKE A LOOK:

Of all the seductive tactics, entering someone's spirit is perhaps the most devilish of all. It gives your victims the feeling that they are seducing you. The fact that you are indulging them, imitating them, entering their spirit, suggests that you are under their spell. You are not a dangerous seducer to be wary of, but someone compliant and unthreatening. The attention you pay to them is intoxicating—since you are mirroring them, everything they see and hear from you reflects their own ego and tastes. What a boost to their vanity. Hypnotized by their mirror image, they relax. Now that their inner wall has crumbled. Entering the other person's spirit is a kind of hypnosis; it is the most insidious and effective form of persuasion known to man. All this sets up the seduction, the series of maneuvers that will turn the dynamic around. Once their defenses are down, they are open to your subtle influence. Soon you will begin to take over the dance, and without even noticing the shift, they will find themselves entering your spirit. This is the endgame.

Guess what? This was a RESET. She went back to her sweet/ little girl way again. Now I was the one pulling the strings!! lol. She once said she wanted to conquer my heart! (she meant my Soul!!!!) She´s trying to hurt me by making me jealous of her. The other day she tried this stunt/guilt trip saying "Oh, you don´t talk to me anymore??" (like a hurt child) Holy Sh!t, she´s probing me for weak spots so she can hurt me. Now she knows I got her. The only guys who can manage these sickos are NPDs (they don´t care); Sociopaths (ultimate manipulators). I feel like a sociopath but´s the only way to deal with these kids. A normal person is no match for these kids from hell. My mission is indeed accomplished, I could see through her mask. My guts were telling this and I was able to stir the waters to catch the fish!!! She´s a vampire with no self-steem, so she needs hostages/victims to drain all their energy/attention/self-steem. While she feels better about herself, the hostages feel used/drained and with low self steem. These girls are obsessed with appearance, fat, image. What they don´t know is that the problem lies within them, not outside (this girl is actually pretty hot in my opinion). The only way they feel attractive is through other´s peoples eyes (their reflection), you´re just a tool to them. They only remember you when it´s convenient to them. This girl I´m talking about is already "flirting" with another friend of mine and she invited him to go to mc donnalds with her. This is typically the professional dater who prefers to go out with a bunch of guys than to stay alone at home. Without other people looking at her she feels invisible. She´s very bubbly but it´s all an act. It´s funny how much more I learned this time, and even about myself. So every girl is a practice to the next. Respect yourself and don´t low your standards to anyone.

I did this (with another girl) they respect you even less. She was all the time trying to show me she was the great catch and I had to jump through hoops to prove to her I was able. Stand by your principles, and if she doesn´t like it, HER LOSS. This one tried very hard to control me but I resisted and she hated it. Most AFCs surrender to their charms, DJs no. It´s not worth, stay with someone who infact appreciates you, not someone who´s always picky and b!tching about everything. The weaker your boundaries (self-respect), the more they suck you in. They will use any tactic to make you give in to them. This one loved to call me jerk, that I would never find a GF, yadaydayda. I asked her "Do you think I´m gonna change just because of you?" She said "Yeah you could", I said "Get over it!". You cannot say no to them, they want you to say "YES master!" This was my first NEXT in a really hot girl, it was not easy, but you feel like a man, you feel much stronger. I jumped first, she didn´t expect, as they always win the game, but not this time, now she´s in the plane in flames crashing down. She started attacking my self steem for this (lol, I really stung her). As greene says if they´re angry, they´re attached to you some way. I feel nothing, I just laugh at it. They´re just over-reacting. The hotter they are the more high maintenance, so you´ve better watch out. Now this girl is going out to parties to try to find herself (lol), to find some people so she can steal their self-steem. Wow, it´s sad to be a vampire.

The level of sophistication to their "methods" is something a normal person can only reach by putting a lot of thought into it, thinking very hard and long about ways to manipulate others and eventually device a plan for how they should behave. Which is basically what all of us are doing here on this forum...learning the tricks to manipulate the HB's and try to repeat them until they become automatic responses. So when a normal person encounters a BPD and realizes the tactics and tricks that BPS is applying, it's natural for him to think: "Wow, she must be really smart to have come up with all these tricks she's applying!" Wrong...I've known BPD's who were extremely stupid, their intelligence was ridiculously low. The thing is, their behavior has been condtioned, with each and every encounter they've had with each and every person, from early childhood until now. This kind of "training" has turned their behavior into second nature, they act without thinking, the behavior has been repeated so many times that it's become 100% instinctive and they can't act otherwise, even if they wanted to.

The AOS teaches us what these crazy people do by instinct. If I hadn´t read this book I would have been eaten alive. I still feel a little drained. These people are great to train seduction practices although it´s too dangerous. About doing things by instinct I´ve gotta tell you that this is absolutely true. Due to my father being cold and abusive with me I shut down emotionally. And girls love this, because I´m so under control and cool yet cold. Not too emotional. That´s why I´m a freak about psychology, I read a lot to know what makes us thick. Due to this site I´ve become more witty and outgoing + the coldness due to my upbringing. See, we all can take advantages of our sufferings.

Moral: There´s no failure, only results.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

How To Play Women That Play Guys

"A reputation for honesty gives you the cover to practice all manner of deception." - unnamed con-artist.

She is the woman in the Tarantino movie From Dusk Till Dawn, standing atop the table in the tavern of outlaws, swaying in a cobra-like dance to a rhythmic and exotic beat. And like a deadly cobra entranced by a musician's tune, she has no control over what she does. It is her instinct. She has brought down some of history’s greatest leaders; empires have crumbled, monarchs have fallen into chaos because of her presence. She knows the male mind, the male ego, and she’s known how to control it since time began. She senses her power, her command of male attention. She’s scandalous. And in today’s world, she’s caused the fall of a few hardcore players from a state of grace. This isn’t a normal female, the moment you've shown any attachment or affection, you’ve already lost, and soon she’s on to the next sucker. She has an inner need to be wanted by all, yet possessed by none. She’s out there. She knows exactly what to say to find your soft spot. The truth is, if you’ve got any game whatsoever, she wants to cut you down for the thrill.

WARNING SIGNS

Giovanni Casanova had a reputation for seducing women and, he was a living legend. Casanova was smooth. Let's turn the tables. What if Casanova had been a woman who had a reputation for seducing guys? If you're a girl with a nice body and a pretty face, it's not hard to seduce a guy. No mystery there. So there's a difference between smooth players and scandalous women. Both have different motives and methods of operation. A scandalous woman wants to be liked and pursued by lots of guys, while a smooth player just wants sex with lots of women. He could care less whether they like him or not, or whether they even pursue him. For scandalous women, it seems it's otherwise. If she can get a guy to cause drama, then she goes away satisfied that she had an effect on him. One comment she made that really stood out was, "Why do guys have to fall so in love?"

She's saying that she's scandalous and she doesn't even realize it. Some guys may "fall so in love" with her because she gives them the illusion early on that she's the right girl for them. She tells them things that every guy wants to hear. "You're mysterious." "We're compatible." "You're so big." She leads them on, then suddenly she's gone, and the guy feels a strong desire to have her back. Guys become attached because they think that this woman could be "the one." They don’t read the subtle signs women give. This woman has no intentions of sticking around and yet the guy ignores the fact. It’s the old saying, you want what you can't have. For most guys, all this causes is anxiety. But if they can understand that it’s their male instinct to pursue a female maybe they can overcome it and keep control.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Part II

Scandalous women are good at what they do because they don't necessarily realize what they're doing. That is, they don't understand that it's because of their frequent mood swings that they go from one guy to the next. It's their emotional processes that determine their actions. If you want to make a scandalous woman curious, she needs to find you a little mysterious. To make her interested, you need to seem like a challenge. To make her want to seduce you, you need to appear innocent. And to make her bored with you, all you have to do is be predictable. Your actions will determine her moods, which she has little control over. You're a new toy, and the moment she's tired of you, she's on to the next. Her interest is strong early on, but will soon wane, and will wane quickly. You are about to learn some of the top psychological tactics that separate the guys that get played by scandalous women from the guys that don’t.

So we need to break her psychology down and understand how she thinks and views the world: We know that she's scandalous. We know that the majority of the guys that she "plays" fall for her game. We know that she wants to be pursued by guys, under the delusion that the world revolves around her. The trick to coming out ahead of her is to not let your male instinct generate any feelings for her. Early on, let her make all the major moves. Act laid-back and professional at all times. You need to play hard to get. Don't show any affection. Flirt, but not much. Talk to her. But not much. The initial impression that she's making of you is that you're different than most of the guys she's been with because you don't seem to be falling for her game. Psychologically, it's hard for her to read your motives, which creates a little mystery, and therefore a challenge. What's interesting is that she's being driven by an emotional process that she doesn't quite understand. You're the musician and she's the cobra and as long as you give off a rhythmic vibe she'll move to the flow. Start off by showing a little interest - then back off and make her come to you. When she comes to you, show interest again, then back off.

When it comes to a woman who might be high maintenance (scandalous), keep backing off and make her keep coming to you. That's the basic system to it, and it's the same system that clever women have been using since the dawn of time to make guys fall for them. Remember that the next time she says she's going to call and then she doesn't. Then remember to never give her the opportunity to say she'll call - tell her that YOU WILL CALL HER, and be sincere, and then DON'T call. Wait a couple days, or whatever you think is called for. Situations vary. Psychologically, the more a woman (or anyone) wants something, the more it will elude her, and the more she'll chase after it. In your case, the longer this process carries on, the less willing she will be to give you up once she thinks you're "caught".

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Part III: SHE CAN'T PLAY A PLAYER

True shyness has no part in your act. You’ll often get ahead though, by being able to fake it. At this point, it’s no longer shyness but an offensive weapon: By showing shyness, you give off a sense of innocence, which for some scandalous women is too hard to resist. There is something about your innocence that draws them in - they think that they have something over you and it gives them a sense of power. And for some people, power is addictive. One way to drive a scandalous woman mad goes like this: This whole time that you’re acting innocent don’t show any feelings of attachment or affection, even after getting with her on more than one occasion. None. Absolutely no feelings.

If you do this right, you can seriously cause this girl to become obsessed with you. Because she can’t explain your lack of feelings. You begin to overwhelm her thoughts. You’re innocent - she therefore assumes you’re naive - and she thinks that you should have had feelings for her developing since day one. Like every other guy before you. But instead of any feelings, you’re untouchable - it’s almost a dark side. You’re showing the signs of a hardcore, cold and calculating manipulator, and the more she thinks about it - she gets thoughts that you’re a ruthless player - but then she realizes that there’s no way you could be a ruthless player - you’re too innocent. . .

Innocent yet untouchable can be an extremely effective combination.
In politics and war, mind games like the one above have been used for centuries to strike terror in the hearts of adversaries. And like adversaries that are kept in suspense, you’re keeping her guessing because she can’t predict what you’re going to do next. In the end this girl will never be able to approach another guy without recalling the time that innocent and naive guy turned out to be the most ruthless player she’d ever met. :rockon:

This sh!t works so well!!

 

[Die Hard]

So where exactly are you quoting all this from? You mentioned the "AOS", is that a book? And what does it stand for?

Anyway, I'm trying to compare the stuff you're posting to my current attempt at seducing my BPD ex into having sex with me. I'll give you a perfect update on it, let me know what you think:

After a long time of no contact, I sent her an email:

"Hey BPD!

I was just wondering how you're doing! How's life for you these days?

See ya, Die Hard."

She replies that same evening:

"Hey Die Hard,

Long time no see! Well, I'm doing fine... I could start off a whole story here through the internet but it wouldn't be that convenient. Feel free to call me sometime, my mobile number is *******"

I waited 5 days and then decided to reply to her with an email:

"Hmm, I don't know about this... The idea of hearing your voice...when I think of that, I can already notice myself trying to imagine what you look like at present (in a red dress and black stockings under it haha). I think it's better not to phone...I would probably get expectations from it and I don't think you want that either.

I'm doing fine overall. I work at "blah blah blah" nowadays, I'm very pleased with the job! Furthermore I try to work out a lot (if I can find the time for it, pff!) and in the weekend I often go out clubbing. Take care!"

So she wanted me to call her (actually she offered me to call her but I know that's just her way of telling me she wants me to call her) and I turned it down in my email. I knew she was gonna "punish" me by breaking contact after this, she wanted me to contact her again and ask why she didn't reply to my email. That would make her feel like we're even... Thus, I planned to give her what she wanted, partially... I decided to give in and contact her again but without making any reference to the fact that she didn't respond to my email. So I waited 4 days and then sent her a text message after work:

"I just finished work and am now shivering in the freezing cold at the bus stop...How was your day? X Die hard"

She didn't reply to my text message either, I think mostly because I never adressed the fact that she didn't reply to my email... I know her well enough, she wants me to admit that it frustrated me...once I do that, she feels like I've submitted to her and then she will talk again. Therefor I decided to show her a little frustration for not replying to my text message, I think she might've walked away from the whole situation otherwise (and the fact that I didn't show frustration over her first act of silence, kinda allowed me to show frustration over this second act of silence, it was compensated for). So when more than 24 hours had passed after my text message, I sent another one:

"If you had been nice enough to respond to my text message, the next step would've been for me to call you. But you screwed up the test Bye sweety!"

I got a response from her within one minute :

"Honey I was so busy. How are you? X"

Obviously, I'm not gonna respond to this. Her response was "too little, too late" and I'm gonna be silent until she contacts me again. If she doesn't, then the game ends here. But we'll see... This is the furthest she has come with me in a loooong time: Me actually sending her a text message (must've been like 2 years since I did that), me actually contemplating a phone call with her (we haven't had a conversation on the phone for almost 3 years), me admitting that I might get expectations when I'll hear her voice... I'm responding quite enthusiastic compared with the past, she knows this situation is kinda rare and I don't think she would give up on it very easily. But if I've learned one thing about her, it's never to underestimate her. She might very well just let it go for now and try to pick it up after a few months... I don't care, we'll see what happens.

But it would be very nice if you'd analyse the interaction and tell me what I could've/should've done different. On one hand, I feel like I gave in too much by letting her ignore one email and one text message. That's two ignores she got away with, while I haven't made any ignore on her..so this kinda makes her the dominant person up to this point. But that was my tactic: I've drawn her deeper into the game by giving her the feeling that she's dominant. Now I've decided to do my first ignore and even though it's kinda late because she already did two on me already, I think she might respond to this ignore because I've drawn her into the game. Whereas, she might've never responded to an ignore at an earlier stage because at that point it would be easy for her to walk away (I hadn't drawn her in yet, not given her a feeling of dominance yet, not given her the idea that she was getting under my skin yet). So I think I played it right by giving her the idea that she's in charge and only giving her a serious challenge after that...

 

[Blue Phoenix]

It´s a lost proposition

Die Hard, I wouldn´t waste my time thinking about getting her back.

What I noticed about BPDs as well as NPD and the cluster B is that they love control. They have to be the boss no matter what.

All people have four internal functions available to them to use as internal guidance: their ability to think, their emotions, their physical sensations and their intuition.

Controlling people (CPs) have suffered some kind of emotional or physical trauma as children or adults that has caused them, as a defense, to shut down one or more of the first three functions. Oftentimes, the only function they use is their thinking function. This leaves them feeling empty inside. And it's a tough way to live. Once they feel secure with another person, they project their idea of a perfect person into the other person. They don't see the person for who she/he really is.

CPs see others much as children see their teddy bears: the perfect friend who knows exactly what the CP is thinking, who never talks backs or disagrees and who has no separate needs of their own. CPs build their sense of sense of self from the outside in--not the inside out as is normal. Their personalities are constructs created by themselves to win the love and admiration they seek. They don't come from a place of deep authenticity. They have no sense of themselves. They need to anchor inside another person. Without that anchor in another, they feel lost and adrift, almost as if they are going to die. That's why the compulsion to control is so strong. That's why their reaction to someone who disagrees with them, or who in anyway doesn't fulfill the teddy bear role, can be so extreme and viscious.

The horrible irony for the CP is that their behavior pushes away the love and connection they so desperately need.

*http://www.amazon.com/Controlling-P...ageNumber=6&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

 

[Blue Phoenix]

When positive reinforcement is delivered on a partial or intermitent schedule, the stage is set fot the development of addictive behavior. The very uncertainty built into a randomized schedule can create frustration and compulsive behavior where the target is always looking for that anticipated reward (Quick fix).

*From the book: Who is pulling your strings??

That´s why BPDs are so addictive. Sex/Sweet girl is the hook.

 

[Die Hard]

Graycliff, dealing with BPD's is just another day at the office for me. Trust me, I won't be sucked back into her world .

 

[Hemingway]

But maybe we're missing something. We know that 2 or 3 of every 100 women will have many of the Cluster 'B' symptoms.

I think the problem is that 100% of all women will have at least one Cluster B symptom. They can be overly-dramatic, emotional, erratic, unstable, and excessively verbal.

 

[catman]

I think the problem is that 100% of all women will have at least one Cluster B symptom. They can be overly-dramatic, emotional, erratic, unstable, and excessively verbal.

And because of this true bpds are not as easy to spot as you think.I now notice everything that even remotely resembles bpd symptoms in all women i meet Which is yet another side effect from haveing delt with several of these *****es from hell.Good to know there are ways of dealing with this thanks phoenix!!!!

 

[Blue Phoenix]

And because of this true bpds are not as easy to spot as you think.I now notice everything that even remotely resembles bpd symptoms in all women i meet Which is yet another side effect from haveing delt with several of these *****es from hell.Good to know there are ways of dealing with this thanks phoenix!!!!

You never stop learning! They are 'easy' to spot, if you feel an instant attraction, duped, you´ve been brainwashed. If you can´t take her out of your mind that´s the red flag. When it goes too fast, something is wrong.

http://www.bpdfamily.org/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm

Idealization is a powerful “drug” - and it came along at a time in your life when you were very receptive to it. In time, you will come to realize that your partner's idealization of you, no matter how sincere, was a courting ritual and an overstatement of the real emotions at the time. You were special - but not that special.

As they say, the higher you go the faster/harder the fall.

 

[Slickster]

Graycliff, dealing with BPD's is just another day at the office for me. Trust me, I won't be sucked back into her world .

Dude judging from the stuff you've posted above it sounds like you already ARE sucked back in.

No offense but the amount of time and analysis you are giving a headcase chick just for some pvssy is a little disturbing. The fact that she is your ex makes it even worse!

I don't get it.

 

[Die Hard]

I gave up on her last week, Slickster. I had been trying for a few weeks but I wasn't getting anywhere with her. So my return on investment just reached a point where I couldn't justify spending anymore time on her.

 

[jophil28]

Dude judging from the stuff you've posted above it sounds like you already ARE sucked back in.

No offense but the amount of time and analysis you are giving a headcase chick just for some pvssy is a little disturbing. The fact that she is your ex makes it even worse!

I don't get it.

Diehard's beliefs are straight out of the addiction handbook. Instead of a substance addiction, his is a relationship addiction.
Addicts typical refuse to accept that they cannot control their use of the substance or the process to which they are compulsively drawn.

AA knew a lot time ago that the first step to recovery is admitting and accepting the powerless of the individual in regard to control.
Curiously the addict refuses to see the damage that has already been done, and clings to a fantasy that he is still " on top of this" when the blinding evidence is to the contrary.

 

[Die Hard]

Wow, great display of flawed thinking there, jophil. Misdiagnosing someone with a particular disorder is either a sign that your understanding of the disorder is superficial or a sign that your ability to reason isn't sophisticated enough. Or it might be a combination of the two...


To improve your understanding of the disorder, I'd recommend this: http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Scared-Shes-Understanding-Relationships/dp/0440506255

To improve your ability to reason, I'd recommend this: http://changingminds.org/disciplines/argument/syllogisms/syllogisms.htm


Good luck with that!

 

[jophil28]

Wow, great display of flawed thinking there, jophil. Misdiagnosing someone with a particular disorder is either a sign that your understanding of the disorder is superficial or a sign that your ability to reason isn't sophisticated enough. Or it might be a combination of the two...


To improve your understanding of the disorder, I'd recommend this: http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Scared-Shes-Understanding-Relationships/dp/0440506255

To improve your ability to reason, I'd recommend this: http://changingminds.org/disciplines/argument/syllogisms/syllogisms.htm


Good luck with that!

Ducking , weaving and denial comes in many forms. Shooting the messenger is yours it seems.
You have been given first class advice here about abandoning your proposed last fukk with your ex BPD.
You insist that you can do that with immunity,so, just do it.
Don't bother to post any more huffing and chest beating.

Your intentions mean little at this stage - only results count.