The October Bootcamp
- Thread starter boston
- Start date
Jukeboxhero
Senior Don Juan
I'm still working on reading the complete first week's lesson. I got through some of the pre-reading about "being a Man" and other articles the guy who originally started it wanted us to read.
I didn't get to the actual assignment of doing 50 greetings and eye contacts BUT, I figured it was probably pretty self explanatory so I did about a dozen or so while shopping at my local supermarket. I'm still working on finishing the reading and hopefully I'll be able to completely do the 50 eye contacts/greeting tommorow or Saturday!
Best of luck to everyone!
I didn't get to the actual assignment of doing 50 greetings and eye contacts BUT, I figured it was probably pretty self explanatory so I did about a dozen or so while shopping at my local supermarket. I'm still working on finishing the reading and hopefully I'll be able to completely do the 50 eye contacts/greeting tommorow or Saturday!
Best of luck to everyone!
If you say hey to them, I'm thinking maybe stop for a second, or at least slow down. If you say something and then keep on going you'll be gone before they have a chance to respond! The idea is that some of these will morph into little conversations (which is next week's task, but that doesn't mean you should avoid them), so let them reply!
SpeedStick: I agree with you on not combining them. From what it looks like it will get a lot harder than what it is now and you'll be wishing one week was two, not two weeks one.
Great to have new people! shaken and yrock, can you write a bit about yourselves as well? Here's the updated roster, unless I missed someone:
boston
\O/
Jukeboxhero
SpeedStick
sbguy
Vasa
shaken_not_stirred
yrock181
Eight people! Plenty for us to be able to support each other. Daily reports aren't needed at this stage (although the week-end report is a must), but if something crazy happens, do let us know.
For me, mall tomorrow. Need to return some pants anyway that became too big on me before I had a chance to wear them--I'm going through this freak spontaneous weightloss that's happening without my really trying so I've basically had to start wearing all of my old clothes from high school. Very strange.
So..yesterday was first day..I slept until late, then i went out to some bars/clubs with a couple of friends. I usually go out on thursdays as it's the best "party-day" for students here where i live.
I tried to make some eyecontact with girls while still sober, walking to the bar and stuff. I closed in on their eyes, but very few met my eyes. People just seems to avoid eyecontact with strangers at all costs. It was not me who was looking away, rather them not meeting my eyes. I managed to maintain strong EC with 3 girls in total. I did not smile, nor did they. I did not say Hi, nor did they..
I decided to NOT get drunk ( I usually do) last night, but just drink enough to loosen up and have fun. I am a social person and i know a lot of people, so the bar was filled with people i know. I walked from group to group, talking to everyone. I had social proof, but did not approach A SINGLE girl all night that i didn't already knew. This was my goal for the night. And if i can't do it when i even drink, how on earth shall i be able to do it sober??
I did however say hi and smiled to people i recognized from school or anywhere else, even though i've never talked to them.
My main problem is the conversation-part. I can't think of interesting **** to say, just boring stuff to keep the conversation flowing. I must not ask the right questions, 'cause i can't seem to get the girls to start talking about themselves. It's always me who has to do most of the talking. Either the girls must be shy or are just bored to death. What do other guys TALK ABOUT to girls to raise their interest level?? I'm so lost here.
On the positive note, there are 2 girls that seem very interested in me. I've made out with both in the past, even though I'm not really attracted to them (yeahyeah i know). They are both cute, but they don't do it for me. I've slept with one of them a few times. It really gets a bit irritating and I can relate to how girls find clingy guys annoying. What's interesting is that when i talk to them I clearly display my disinterest, but this just seems to make them want me more. It's like i do with them what i'm supposed to do with girls i like. I act completely different towards girls i like. Like a real AFC, giving them attention and compliments etc. This almost NEVER works.
I'll keep trying to get the Hi's and maybe strike up some convos with strangers, but i already feel that this BC will be tough for me. I work in a bar, so I will also try to do some "****y&funny" conversation with hot female customers. When I'm working and they drink i feel kind of superior..like I'm in control. But i still can't seem to find interesting conversational topics...
I won't get discouraged. I'll keep trying.
Eyecontact: 3
Hi's: 1
Convos: 0
Numbers: 0
Action: 0
I tried to make some eyecontact with girls while still sober, walking to the bar and stuff. I closed in on their eyes, but very few met my eyes. People just seems to avoid eyecontact with strangers at all costs. It was not me who was looking away, rather them not meeting my eyes. I managed to maintain strong EC with 3 girls in total. I did not smile, nor did they. I did not say Hi, nor did they..
I decided to NOT get drunk ( I usually do) last night, but just drink enough to loosen up and have fun. I am a social person and i know a lot of people, so the bar was filled with people i know. I walked from group to group, talking to everyone. I had social proof, but did not approach A SINGLE girl all night that i didn't already knew. This was my goal for the night. And if i can't do it when i even drink, how on earth shall i be able to do it sober??
I did however say hi and smiled to people i recognized from school or anywhere else, even though i've never talked to them.
My main problem is the conversation-part. I can't think of interesting **** to say, just boring stuff to keep the conversation flowing. I must not ask the right questions, 'cause i can't seem to get the girls to start talking about themselves. It's always me who has to do most of the talking. Either the girls must be shy or are just bored to death. What do other guys TALK ABOUT to girls to raise their interest level?? I'm so lost here.
On the positive note, there are 2 girls that seem very interested in me. I've made out with both in the past, even though I'm not really attracted to them (yeahyeah i know). They are both cute, but they don't do it for me. I've slept with one of them a few times. It really gets a bit irritating and I can relate to how girls find clingy guys annoying. What's interesting is that when i talk to them I clearly display my disinterest, but this just seems to make them want me more. It's like i do with them what i'm supposed to do with girls i like. I act completely different towards girls i like. Like a real AFC, giving them attention and compliments etc. This almost NEVER works.
I'll keep trying to get the Hi's and maybe strike up some convos with strangers, but i already feel that this BC will be tough for me. I work in a bar, so I will also try to do some "****y&funny" conversation with hot female customers. When I'm working and they drink i feel kind of superior..like I'm in control. But i still can't seem to find interesting conversational topics...
I won't get discouraged. I'll keep trying.
Eyecontact: 3
Hi's: 1
Convos: 0
Numbers: 0
Action: 0
shaken_not_stirred
Don Juan
background info...
26 years old. have always at least some girls interested in me. problem is... i want hotter ones. i have a lot of girls i'm friends with... many are what guys would at least call cute. i probably have more female friends then male friends ... in fact most of the girls i've dated have been girls i was friends with first. i'm tired of this. i probably suffer from nice guy syndrom.
i wanna go out and get the hot girls i've always pined for. after reading these forums the past few days, i've realized its time for me to grow some balls. i tend to be a little shy with really hot girls that i just meet. i've decided at this point in my life, theres nothing to lose. i'm tired of dating friends. i've really only dated a couple girls i met at random places and these were from instances where i was approached by the girl.
thats my brief bio... i'm going home to visit family this weekend and plan on starting bootcamp while i'm there...
26 years old. have always at least some girls interested in me. problem is... i want hotter ones. i have a lot of girls i'm friends with... many are what guys would at least call cute. i probably have more female friends then male friends ... in fact most of the girls i've dated have been girls i was friends with first. i'm tired of this. i probably suffer from nice guy syndrom.
i wanna go out and get the hot girls i've always pined for. after reading these forums the past few days, i've realized its time for me to grow some balls. i tend to be a little shy with really hot girls that i just meet. i've decided at this point in my life, theres nothing to lose. i'm tired of dating friends. i've really only dated a couple girls i met at random places and these were from instances where i was approached by the girl.
thats my brief bio... i'm going home to visit family this weekend and plan on starting bootcamp while i'm there...
Field report for the day
Went to the local mall, walked round and round for about an hour trying to make eye contact with people. Somehow it just wasn't working--I'd stare them down but they didn't even notice because their eyes were somewhere else; people have been trained by society not to look at other people, so it's hard to lock eyes.
One girl I almost got decent EC with. I could feel my blood pressure rising for that split second. Or maybe it was the beginnings of a heart attack...
Then I went into one of the department stores and crossed through the perfume department (which is normal because it's on the way to menswear). Plenty of waiting saleswomen there. Made a bit of EC and got some smiles but couldn't do the hi. Goddammit I need to keep trying...
Pass by this kiosk where some woman is trying to sell something by stopping passers-by. Made a mental note to come back, thinking of what to say. Went to a department store and walked back, right into her path.
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?"
"For you, anything. How can I help?"
I don't think she even listened to what I had said (which is probably a good thing because it was crap), but just launched right into her shpeil. She sells nail products--she asked me for my hand and I got a good look at her. Gorgeous girl, had a slight accent that I couldn't place. I complied, figuring that this was a good opportunity to condition myself to touch--she held my hand for the rest of the conversation, which lasted a while as she went through her shpeil and started smoothing the ridges off of my middle-finger nail, explaining how the whateverthing worked. My goal was to just prolong the conversation as much as possible, basically to the point where I would get bored with a hot girl holding my hand (and therefore not get all worked up about it if it happened again in the future).
She held EC with me the whole time--someone trained her well, even though you could tell she was reciting a script.
At one point she mentioned something about her "horrible accent," and I said, "No, it's a beautiful accent. Where are you from?"
"Israel."
So I mentioned that my parents were from Israel and started speaking Hebrew with her. This impressed her, and she almost went nuts when she quoted the price of the product in Hebrew and I converted it to Israeli currency without skipping a beat. She continued her sales pitch in Hebrew, slipping to English sometimes because it had been memorized in English. She cut down the price a few times (I'm guessing that's also a normal sales tactic) as I continued to say I wouldn't be able to use it.
And here I probably should've gotten her number. But didn't. I just declined to buy and said thank you and left (after she let go of my hand). Then spent the car ride home being pissed at myself.
Two reasons why I thought she would have given me her number: (1) she wanted the sale, (2) as I found out later from my parents, that type of business is commonly run by Israelis and tends to hire foreigners without work authorization--so possibly she'd think she could get a green card out of the deal.
So, what would the rest of you have done in this situation?
Went to the local mall, walked round and round for about an hour trying to make eye contact with people. Somehow it just wasn't working--I'd stare them down but they didn't even notice because their eyes were somewhere else; people have been trained by society not to look at other people, so it's hard to lock eyes.
One girl I almost got decent EC with. I could feel my blood pressure rising for that split second. Or maybe it was the beginnings of a heart attack...
Then I went into one of the department stores and crossed through the perfume department (which is normal because it's on the way to menswear). Plenty of waiting saleswomen there. Made a bit of EC and got some smiles but couldn't do the hi. Goddammit I need to keep trying...
Pass by this kiosk where some woman is trying to sell something by stopping passers-by. Made a mental note to come back, thinking of what to say. Went to a department store and walked back, right into her path.
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?"
"For you, anything. How can I help?"
I don't think she even listened to what I had said (which is probably a good thing because it was crap), but just launched right into her shpeil. She sells nail products--she asked me for my hand and I got a good look at her. Gorgeous girl, had a slight accent that I couldn't place. I complied, figuring that this was a good opportunity to condition myself to touch--she held my hand for the rest of the conversation, which lasted a while as she went through her shpeil and started smoothing the ridges off of my middle-finger nail, explaining how the whateverthing worked. My goal was to just prolong the conversation as much as possible, basically to the point where I would get bored with a hot girl holding my hand (and therefore not get all worked up about it if it happened again in the future).
She held EC with me the whole time--someone trained her well, even though you could tell she was reciting a script.
At one point she mentioned something about her "horrible accent," and I said, "No, it's a beautiful accent. Where are you from?"
"Israel."
So I mentioned that my parents were from Israel and started speaking Hebrew with her. This impressed her, and she almost went nuts when she quoted the price of the product in Hebrew and I converted it to Israeli currency without skipping a beat. She continued her sales pitch in Hebrew, slipping to English sometimes because it had been memorized in English. She cut down the price a few times (I'm guessing that's also a normal sales tactic) as I continued to say I wouldn't be able to use it.
And here I probably should've gotten her number. But didn't. I just declined to buy and said thank you and left (after she let go of my hand). Then spent the car ride home being pissed at myself.
Two reasons why I thought she would have given me her number: (1) she wanted the sale, (2) as I found out later from my parents, that type of business is commonly run by Israelis and tends to hire foreigners without work authorization--so possibly she'd think she could get a green card out of the deal.
So, what would the rest of you have done in this situation?
Blatant truth
Don Juan
K, I finished the first week. Strong EC and greeting 50 strangers. I found it to be easier as I went along. I purposely went out to the mall and compared the results to when I was at school.
Things I noticed for week one:
-People were more comfortable looking at me in a University setting, where as in the mall, people were busy going from one place to another, and seemed more in a rush.
-However, inside the actual stores in the mall, people seemed more relaxed and I was able to get EC easier and even used a few "can I get a female's opinion" openers just to talk to people.
-Overall I think that you have to be the one to maintain the EC and greet people, don't wait for them to make the opportunity.
I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, not thinking about what others think about me. Because as Gunwitch says, they are busy worrying about what you think of them. I always knew I had it in me to be more social, so it's time to bring it out.
For me, it's more rewarding on a personal level, the women I'll get out of this will just be a bonus.
Well, on to week 2!
Things I noticed for week one:
-People were more comfortable looking at me in a University setting, where as in the mall, people were busy going from one place to another, and seemed more in a rush.
-However, inside the actual stores in the mall, people seemed more relaxed and I was able to get EC easier and even used a few "can I get a female's opinion" openers just to talk to people.
-Overall I think that you have to be the one to maintain the EC and greet people, don't wait for them to make the opportunity.
I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, not thinking about what others think about me. Because as Gunwitch says, they are busy worrying about what you think of them. I always knew I had it in me to be more social, so it's time to bring it out.
For me, it's more rewarding on a personal level, the women I'll get out of this will just be a bonus.
Well, on to week 2!
Everywhere I go now, i try to keep contact with everyone, even with a bum who tries to sell something to me. Haha, its kind of funny. Yesterday i got trashed pretty bad so today i'm not even leaving my house. I will go out tomorrow to some stores, i need to buy some clothes and stuff so i will try to use that as an opportunity to socialize with strangers.
2 days left of the first week and I'm still far from reaching the required number of Hi's.
The main problem here is that most people are "trained" by society NOT to stare/look into peoples eyes most of the time. When i walk past a girl i lock my eyes in the direction of her eyes. Most of the time they don't look back at all. They just look straight ahead without noticing me looking at them. The few that DOES look, often look away fast. This may be due to shyness or it can be because of disinterest..i don't know. I've made eyecontact with many girls this week. I make myself hold the EC until she either looks away or until I've walked past her. I find it hard to smile while doing this. So i might look like a staring psycho..lol. I need to work on that. I've only felt comfortable saying hi a few times. But i can feel that I'm much more aware about the EC thing. I do it consistently now, and atleast that's a start. Today I haven't been outside the house so no news today. I'll get some hi's tomorrow and keep on locking onto peoples eyes!!
I'll be working this weekend at the bar and I will use my "status" as the bartender to strike up some convos with girls. This will be easy as it's not that obvious that i approach them for a purpose.
I'm also trying to think ****y&funny all the time, making this a part of me and using it so that people see me as a very confident person. Even if I'm not so confident deep inside...Trying to improve my inner game and changing the basics of my thinking. I need to stop being afraid to take some chances or even embarres myself. I need to start taking some chances and be the person that i want to be!
I'll report as soon as anything happens. btw, I'm great at flirting/chatting online. I have several girls that messages me all the time on msn etc, and it seems like they are entertained by me. I just hope i can live up to that in real life...it's much harder there.
The main problem here is that most people are "trained" by society NOT to stare/look into peoples eyes most of the time. When i walk past a girl i lock my eyes in the direction of her eyes. Most of the time they don't look back at all. They just look straight ahead without noticing me looking at them. The few that DOES look, often look away fast. This may be due to shyness or it can be because of disinterest..i don't know. I've made eyecontact with many girls this week. I make myself hold the EC until she either looks away or until I've walked past her. I find it hard to smile while doing this. So i might look like a staring psycho..lol. I need to work on that. I've only felt comfortable saying hi a few times. But i can feel that I'm much more aware about the EC thing. I do it consistently now, and atleast that's a start. Today I haven't been outside the house so no news today. I'll get some hi's tomorrow and keep on locking onto peoples eyes!!
I'll be working this weekend at the bar and I will use my "status" as the bartender to strike up some convos with girls. This will be easy as it's not that obvious that i approach them for a purpose.
I'm also trying to think ****y&funny all the time, making this a part of me and using it so that people see me as a very confident person. Even if I'm not so confident deep inside...Trying to improve my inner game and changing the basics of my thinking. I need to stop being afraid to take some chances or even embarres myself. I need to start taking some chances and be the person that i want to be!
I'll report as soon as anything happens. btw, I'm great at flirting/chatting online. I have several girls that messages me all the time on msn etc, and it seems like they are entertained by me. I just hope i can live up to that in real life...it's much harder there.
cincyguy
New Member
ill join in starting on week 2 considering ive been stuck on the 1st week lessons for 2 weeks...if that makes anysense to you. ill start the second week with you guys on thursday 13th
SpeedStick
Don Juan
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Hey... how did our bootcamp thread end up on page 3?!! j/k... hopefully in the next couple of weeks we'll start getting some field reports....
Anyway, as for myself, I must confess that I didn't make it to the 50 people mark. I blame this partly on the fact that it was absolutely pouring saturday through monday here so I hardly went out at all on those days. I did just the eye contact earlier in the week, and started saying hi a bit later on once I got used to the EC.
However, I'm going to move on to week 2 nonetheless. As you know, our exercise for this week is to start and hold a 2-10 min conversation with 10 strangers. These can be girls your age or 80-year old men. I personally think it might be easier to start with someone you're not at all attracted to, and then move on up once you gain a bit of confidence. At least that's my strategy, we'll see how it works.
Good luck everyone.....
Anyway, as for myself, I must confess that I didn't make it to the 50 people mark. I blame this partly on the fact that it was absolutely pouring saturday through monday here so I hardly went out at all on those days. I did just the eye contact earlier in the week, and started saying hi a bit later on once I got used to the EC.
However, I'm going to move on to week 2 nonetheless. As you know, our exercise for this week is to start and hold a 2-10 min conversation with 10 strangers. These can be girls your age or 80-year old men. I personally think it might be easier to start with someone you're not at all attracted to, and then move on up once you gain a bit of confidence. At least that's my strategy, we'll see how it works.
Good luck everyone.....
Well.... i think i did OK!
I actually said "Hi" to 45 strangers and a lot of times strangers talked to me like in a store or something, so i just held small conversations with them, but i dont count that. I actually tried to pick up this chick at the train station today, but i fell flat on my face, she wasn't interrested (what a *****!). The first couple of days i didn't say Hi to a lot of people because i didnt go out much the first few days. Today i said Hi to like 19 people, so i kinda impressed myself haha. I will move on to the next step of the camp, but if i feel like i need to do the first part over again, then i'll do so.
I actually said "Hi" to 45 strangers and a lot of times strangers talked to me like in a store or something, so i just held small conversations with them, but i dont count that. I actually tried to pick up this chick at the train station today, but i fell flat on my face, she wasn't interrested (what a *****!). The first couple of days i didn't say Hi to a lot of people because i didnt go out much the first few days. Today i said Hi to like 19 people, so i kinda impressed myself haha. I will move on to the next step of the camp, but if i feel like i need to do the first part over again, then i'll do so.
Jukeboxhero
Senior Don Juan
OK, guess it's time for my weekly report. I did a good number of EC's and Hello's as part of my job. I work at a hotel and I'm actually supposed to say "Hello" or "Good Morning, how are you?" as an everyday part of my job to any guest I see.
We happened to have a large convention that involved teachers and people who helped elderly folk. I got to greet and maintain eye contact with approximately 50 people walking the halls on my way to and from lunch.
A good percentage of them were female but a mix of older, unattractive and average, but also good number of HB6+!
I'm not 100% certain this qualifies, though, so I still want to get out and do it in a enviroment that isn't quite as familiar to me and one where I I'm not trained and paid to be nice to people. I meant to do some in nearby malls or parks on my days off but my brother was back in town after being gone in the Airforce for about 8 months so I decided to hang out with him for most of my days off instead.
It wasn't a complete waste though, after I helped my brother finish fixing his car we got to go hang out with my roomate at a bar.
My brother had to leave early but stayed and got to talk to about a good 20 people or so in about 3-4 hours. Of course at the time I didn't realize our next mission was to hold a conversation for about 2-10 min with different people. Again, I haven't read this weeks assignment quite yet but I'll give a field report anyways, who knows maybe I've already done week 2's assignment.
So for week 2 I plan on doing more Ec's and greetings to solidify my fulfillment of week 1 assingment and continue with more convo's for week 2.
We happened to have a large convention that involved teachers and people who helped elderly folk. I got to greet and maintain eye contact with approximately 50 people walking the halls on my way to and from lunch.
A good percentage of them were female but a mix of older, unattractive and average, but also good number of HB6+!
I'm not 100% certain this qualifies, though, so I still want to get out and do it in a enviroment that isn't quite as familiar to me and one where I I'm not trained and paid to be nice to people. I meant to do some in nearby malls or parks on my days off but my brother was back in town after being gone in the Airforce for about 8 months so I decided to hang out with him for most of my days off instead.
It wasn't a complete waste though, after I helped my brother finish fixing his car we got to go hang out with my roomate at a bar.
My brother had to leave early but stayed and got to talk to about a good 20 people or so in about 3-4 hours. Of course at the time I didn't realize our next mission was to hold a conversation for about 2-10 min with different people. Again, I haven't read this weeks assignment quite yet but I'll give a field report anyways, who knows maybe I've already done week 2's assignment.
So for week 2 I plan on doing more Ec's and greetings to solidify my fulfillment of week 1 assingment and continue with more convo's for week 2.
alright i was a few short of 50, but from friday-monday i didn't really make much of an effort - i went to toronto with my buddy to spend thanksgiving there so i didn't get much of an opportunity to do the exercises. i did meet lots of new people (including lots of hb's) but they were either in a party environment or friends of friends, so i didn't really wanna count those encounters where alcohol or (a high degree of) social proof came into effect.
because of that, on tuesday and today i pretty much just said hi to any half-decent girl who walked my way trying to make the 50-mark, so i didn't really get a chance to start any conversations like i said i would.
i'm definitely gonna start up on that tomorow...
because of that, on tuesday and today i pretty much just said hi to any half-decent girl who walked my way trying to make the 50-mark, so i didn't really get a chance to start any conversations like i said i would.
i'm definitely gonna start up on that tomorow...
Jukeboxhero
Senior Don Juan
How did you celebrate Thanksgiving at the beginning of October? Do Canadians celebrate at a different time of the year?
shaken_not_stirred
Don Juan
i've only done about about a dozen so far...i know pathetic... i was home visiting my family last weekend, went on a date tuesday, and i work in an engineering firm and don't even see new females during the day... i miss college so much! take advantage of school while you are there guys. ok, someone whoop my ass. i have a lot of work to do to catch up.
