The October Bootcamp

[boston]

Been reading posts here off and on, and I've decided it's time to go for it and start up bootcamp.

I'm starting this Thursday, which is when the weekend starts for me with my schedule at school--so the week (at least for me) will run Thursday to Wednesday. Anyone who would like to join, please do so! I'll keep track of who's doing it and how many field reports we're seeing from each person.

A bit about me: I'm 21, going to school in the Boston area, studying business. Having a reasonably smooth senior year so far, and applying for jobs is about the only bumpy part of it. Classes aren't that much of a problem and I've taken care of many of my other timesinks (such as scaling down job hours), so this is a good time for me to be doing this.

I consider myself a BAFC, possibly even a WBAFC--never had a girlfriend in my life, can't dance, kissed girls so few times that I can remember each instance--you get the idea. When I hear about parties I feel compelled to work on my tax homework. So this isn't just a shyness with girls, it's all around. When it comes to business though, I don't have that shyness: I can speak comfortably in public, have no problem sharing my opinion in classes (which I do often), and have a knack for getting customer service employees to do anything I want them to do. So the potential is there, just not harnessed right now.

Tuesday's an easy day for me so I'll be reading a lot on the site. Game time starts Thursday, the next easy day for me, and continues throughout the weekend (we have Columbus Day off which gives me an extra day).

Who's with me? I want to see some more people like me in here--those of you who think you're completely hopeless, who look at the old bootcamp threads and think "those guys could've done it anway, and there's no way I could ever pull it off." This doesn't mean we'll try any less hard--I'll expect you to put in your 50 eye contacts and so on--but I'll be getting into uncharted territory really fast (about the time phone numbers get involved) so I know it'll be a really bumpy ride for me just like it will be for you.

Life 2.0 starts Thursday.

 

[titoman]

Life 2.0 haha very funny

 

[\O/]

Hi
I just posted on the other bootcamp-thread, but I think they have already come a long way into the training. I think it would be nice to start at the same time as someone else. Everyone starting from the beginning. I think there are plenty of us out there that really needs this and that it will hopefully change our lives for the better....So count me in! I'm also studying business btw, and I have my exams lined up in the coming months, so I'll be kinda busy with school and all, but I'll think of a way to find time to complete all the sessions. Although I'm NOT looking forward to the "rejection"-part. I've gotten dozens of rejections in the past with my sleezy one-liners in bars, but it's not the same thing...

Boring info; (you prolly wanna skip this, but I'll write it anyways as i have nothing better to do...)

I've always felt very confident (for unknown reasons ) and basically seen myself as a catch in the past. This however all changed after a tough break-up with my ex-girlfriend about 7 months ago. We stayed together for several years and it all went to **** when i started taking her for granted in the end. I'm more or less over her now, but the thing that bothers me is that my success with girls these past months has been all but great. I'm much more insecure, i feel less confident, rejections are tougher to take and i feel like i've really lost my "mojo" and will never land a decent chick ever again..
I met my ex when i was 18 and she was 15. So i felt like i had a "psychological" advantage in my pursuit of her. I wasn't really interested in the beginning which made me do and act just the way the bible tells us to. ****y & funny, being a man, willingness to walk away etc etc. She has changed alot over these past years and even though she was nice when i met her, she is a real bombshell now. Long blond hair, slim body, tanned, classy and a very pretty face with the cutest smile ever. Yeah, she's cool aswell. Not that bright though ;D Thing is, she kinda sat the standard. I now feel that the only reason she was interested in me was that i got her to love me when she was young and didn't know better. And now i can't get anything that nice. I think she was an HB7,5...But my scale is pretty strict. I don't believe a 10 exist, nor have i seen more than a handfull 9's in rl. I live in norway so the girls are generally very nice and there is far between the uglies...

---

I feel like a real AFC now. When i get to know a girl and she shows the slightest interest I think i try to move too fast and come of as desperate. Which by the way i am!
The thing that makes me most insecure is the fact that I'm afraid that i bore the girls. That my conversational skills sucks and that i don't say things that makes them want to know more about me. Maybe i say too much. I dunno. I've done lines, routines, elicting values, etc but it doesn't work on the girls i want. I have less problems getting the girls i don't want. I'm kinda picky and i think you should be. I've gotten a few numbers and connected somewhat with at least one girl these last months but she LJBF'ed me. I got her interested, went on a few dates, kissed, light KINO and then after one (boring) date she said that she wasn't interested in me as anything other than a friend. Which is fine as I'm not interested in a LTR but I wanted that to be MY decision, not hers...+ I wanted to tap that ass ;P

So, I really want to be able to get girls interested in me. Be a catch. Rebuild my confidence. Increase my options. I don't ever think I've gotten a girl to actually fall in love with me (except my ex..and maybe some uglies), so that tells me that I must be doing or saying something terribly wrong. I know I've complimented girls on looks, telling them how beutiful and sexy they are( being a TRUE AFC) etc. That ends here. I wanna change my life. Someome once said; "Keep doing what you've always done, and you'll keep getting what you've always gotten"! I think that's a fvucking awesome quote and I intend to do something about it.

I think I look ok, hopefully above average. But I'm kinda short (about 5'6) and i feel that is a huge factor as to why I'm not so confident. Girls in norway are tall, as are the guys. I think some women write me off by default due to my height. I think it's hard to come of as the Alpha Male when you don't have the height. Hopefully I'll improve on other areas so that it won't matter as much. I shower, I wear nice clothes, I fix my hear, I use deodorant. I do pretty much all i can do in that area I'll start working out more, get a tan and try to improve as much as i can to get a higher confidence and feel better about my looks. I used to be very self-concious(?) about my acne, but I'm taking care of that now..so my face is almost totally cleared up. This is by far THE most confidencebooster i can get imo. It's really hard to look girls in the eyes if you have acne..seriously.

I'm going to start boot camp tomorrow. I'll initiate EC and try to get a few Hi's. I think it's all about the state of mind. I know it's really easy to plan while sitting in front of the computer and NOT so easy while walking the streets.. I'll write my reports here and hopefully get pointers and maybe even give some inspiration to others. I believe that with enough practice you can be good at anything. If you have some talent by nature aswell, you can be great. I believe that also applies when it comes to scoring chicks!!


Sorry about the truly boring life-story and all the blabber about myself, but I just wanted to introduce myself to all of you future DJ's

Let's do it!!

\O/

A true AFC

 

[\O/]

Btw, I assume all the Hi's and convos HAS to be made sober right?

If you engage in a conversation with a girl while drunk, it doesn't "count"?

 

[\O/]

Re: Ahem...

Originally posted by KillaPetehog
but what is your name supposed to be?

\O/

What is it?!

Is it what I think it is?

ha ha

Hehe I don't know what you think it is, but it's probably not

It's just 2 arms and a head
Hands in the air!

\0/
.|
/\ I win

 

[\O/]

Re: oh...

Originally posted by KillaPetehog
Yikes.

I have a dirty mind.

It looks like a hole.

Dang..you're right hehehe...oops

Oh well...

 

[Jukeboxhero]

Count me in too! How does this Bootcamp thing work though, I heard you mention putting the 50 eye contacts. Are there other assignments?

I'm your average height 5'9" male, pretty average looks and 27 years old. As some people probably already know I've never had a real girlfriend either or even a date for that matter--so I'm really an AFC to the max!

I've began to go out to bars and places and I'm just skimming the surface when it comes to cold approaching so I'll be glad to get the advice and encouragement that comes with knowing someone else is out there doing the same thing.

 

[\O/]

Great Jukeboxhero! Nice to see some more people joining!
Go to "the bible"-section and click DJ Boot Camp. You can download the file and just start reading. It's 112 pages i think so there's alot of sweet info. Some of the best articles from the bible are included as well as many concrete assignments or homework if you will.

I've been on one or two dates since the break-up with my ex, but i'm still pretty clueless when it comes to cold approaches. I try too hard to impress and I move too fast. I thing that's what i really have to work on. Just talking casually without and sort of "hidden agenda". This gets harder all the time 'cause seriously...when you are used to having a sex-life for almost 4 years, and suddently you don't get ANYTHING, desperation really kicks in. Girls notice!

Hopefully we'll get some more guys to complete the training with us! i know many people need it..or we wouldn't be here right?

 

[SpeedStick]

Hey boston and co, count me in....

I've been lurking around this site for awhile and attempted to start the bootcamp but haven't got too far. I'm hoping the added support/pressure of starting it with some other people will help me out....

Good luck to all.....

 

[sbguy]

hey all, i think i'm gonna get in on this too...

i started up on the last bootcamp thread about a month ago, and then i started up university (my first year) and started crawling in hb's (basically i hooked up with enough girls that i pushed the DJBC to the back of my mind). well now that it's been a month since school started, i've began to realize that i'm not the pimp-daddy i thought i was, and that maybe a BC is in order for me.

bit of background:
5'9, average looking (maybe slightly above...at least i like to think so) with a pretty athletic build (i played high school and men's league rugby). i'm fairly confident and have decent social skills - not exactly a slouch with girls but i've fallen into the LJBF zone enough times to feel uncomfortable (though it's not bad being 'just friends' with girls...especially if they have lots of hot friends).

my conversational skills aren't exactly top-notch...i can usually get the girl to talk about herself. it's not a problem when i'm just meeting them and on the first few dates (and i never have troubles contributing to group conversations), but i have trouble keeping it going for a lengthy (1 hr +) period of time (if we're alone).

my REAL problem, though, is that i take rejection badly. maybe rejection's a bad word - i'm talking more about bad social encounters in general. i have a habit of magnifying and nitpicking every little thing bad thing that happens till i'm making mountains out of ant hills. granted, this doesn't happen that often and i do get over it after a few days, but for those few days i'll be in a ****ty mood. this sort of snowballs into a fear of rejection - i used to be able to strike up conversations with girls anywhere (at the mall, in the school hallway, at the restaurant, etc). now, unless i'm drunk (where i just don't give a ****), at a party (where i've got social proof) or at a club/social event/around other friends/etc, i just feel like a pathetic stalker if i (cold) approach girls.

so basically i'm hoping this bootcamp will:

a) build up my confidence enough so that i can get over this fear of rejection and my habit of magnifying my problems

and

b) get me to the point where i have no problems attracting girls that interest me.

 

[boston]

T minus 2 days!

Great to see so many people joining up! Here's the roster so far:

boston
\O/
Jukeboxhero
Speedstick
sbguy

I'm glad to see that we all have different things that we need to work on. I think that makes for the best support/pressure group--we can help each other on what we know and get help for what we're not as good at.

I enjoyed reading each of your blurbs about your lives--I understand a lot better where each of you are coming from and why you have the weakness/goal that you do.

\O/: Are girls in Norway anything like girls in Iceland? I visited Iceland for a weekend once while I was in London, and holy crap the girls there are unlike anything I've ever seen... I'm not sure what the rules are on sobriety, but I think the idea is to try to build up "real" courage, not just relying on "liquid" courage.

Jukeboxhero: I definitely want to work on cold approaches too. In the past I've had to rely on the occasional "girl falling out of the sky on a silver platter into my arms"--from now on I will be more ACTIVE about pursuing girls, not PASSIVELY waiting around for some random coincidence!

SpeedStick: Can you tell us more about yourself? Background, life story, what you're trying to work on here, etc...

sbguy: You're a lot better off on the AFC scale than I am, it seems--it's great that you tried this before, so we'll be counting on you to pull us through the first week or two, okay?

Get ready, everyone! Start doing some of the readings, and then wake up Thursday ready to get out there. I'm already thinking of where to go to start out--I'm thinking one of the local malls, away from anyone I could possibly know (just in case I end up making a gigantic fool of myself).

The past 24 hours have been good to me--a girl I barely know passed by and complemented my haircut (silly, but feels good nonetheless), and I actually scored a long-sought after date for Friday the 14th! Got selected for a first-round interview with one of the companies I'm applying to, as well. So a lot of little victories.

 

[\O/]

Re: T minus 2 days!

Originally posted by boston

\O/: Are girls in Norway anything like girls in Iceland? I visited Iceland for a weekend once while I was in London, and holy crap the girls there are unlike anything I've ever seen... I'm not sure what the rules are on sobriety, but I think the idea is to try to build up "real" courage, not just relying on "liquid" courage.

Scandinavian girls in general are very nice, but Iceland and finland have the least attractive ones. Sweden has the hottest girls(LOTS of blonde bombshells..i.e Victoria Silvstedt) and Norway have the second most beautiful girls.. Danmark has many cute girls aswell although not as hot as in Norway and Sweden, but they are easier

Problem is that norwegian girls are really *****y and stuck-up. Before you get to know them that is. They do not respond well to cold approaches as many other countries, but they are very "on guard" esp in bars and clubs. This makes it very frustrating. But if you can manage to be a real DJ in norway..oh boy..the girls you can get are beyond your wildest dreams! There are very few really ugly girls here..ofcourse they exist, but most girls are average looking or above average..

I agree on the sobriety thing.. The point must be to be confident to approach and have conversations whenever and wherever. What i mean was, do we count the cold approaches if we have some alcohol in our blood? i.e in a bar or at a party? Not being totally wasted..

Originally posted by boston

The past 24 hours have been good to me--a girl I barely know passed by and complemented my haircut (silly, but feels good nonetheless), and I actually scored a long-sought after date for Friday the 14th! Got selected for a first-round interview with one of the companies I'm applying to, as well. So a lot of little victories.

Nice dude! Compliments are always a good confidence-booster, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
Wish I could say that I had success with school or anything like that. I've barely opened a book this year and not even been going to class. I'll try to get my act together and fix all areas in my life! I need to start working out again aswell..getting really lazy and that's a bad thing. No energy.. Lots to work on, but I'll try not to get discouraged..

 

[boston]

Originally posted by \O/

Scandinavian girls in general are very nice, but Iceland and finland have the least attractive ones. Sweden has the hottest girls(LOTS of blonde bombshells..i.e Victoria Silvstedt) and Norway have the second most beautiful girls.. Danmark has many cute girls aswell although not as hot as in Norway and Sweden, but they are easier

Hehe... if the Icelandic girls blew my mind and the Swedes and Norse are hotter... wow. One of the jobs I'm applying for has one of its four offices in Stockholm so there's a tiny chance I may actually come up there from time to time.

I need to start working out again too. I was doing okay for a short while and then I got sick enough to stop for about three weeks. Completely killed my momentum, was about to start back up but I think I'm getting sick again! Somehow though I've been miraculously losing weight for the past two months so I'm off the hook for now but I need to start that back up too. Good luck on fixing the rest of your life--you have a lot of work to do, and I'd suggest you try to prioritize.

 

[boston]

Time!

Okay guys, tomorrow is Thursday, Day 1 of Week 1 of bootcamp. The first exercise is cake compared to what comes next, so go out there and get this done!

The two exercises:
(1) Make and maintain eye contact with 50 people for at least one second longer than they keep eye contact with you.
(2) Say hi to 50 people. At this point you don't need to get into a huge conversation with them (that comes later), although that's certainly not a bad thing.

Remember that you can combine the two together.

You have one week. Good luck!

 

[Vasa]

Ok guys i'm in, i actually posted on the other thread, but this thread is a good idea.
I started on wednesday, but just to be on the same page i will start today. Said hi to like 3 people today, but thursday is usually the bussiest day of the week so i will definately try to get around 10 tomorrow. Also i got a job at my university, woohoo!

Oh and a little about myself. I am 18, going to University of Illinois in Chicago. A pretty good school. I am a freshman and i think it is very important to have good social skillz in a university, so that's why i am starting this thing. Anyway, looking forward to the next 8 weeks, hehehe, its gonna be a lot of fun, i can tell.

 

[boston]

Good to have you, Vasa. If you have any "college" questions I can try to answer them as best as I can.

Didn't realize how hard eye contact was. I tried it at Walmart today and involuntarily looked away every time. So I'm still at zero but now I know what I'm up against.

Confidence is a fickle thing, though: My stop before Walmart was to the bank where I had to argue with a manager about a $25 fee. I looked him straight in the eye and was confident, almost agressive even, and never skipped a beat in my arguments. The fee was reversed.

Why I can yell at a 40-year-old man about money but can't look a passing stranger in the eye is a mystery to me.

Got accepted for a couple more interviews for jobs too!

 

[Vasa]

Originally posted by boston
Good to have you, Vasa. If you have any "college" questions I can try to answer them as best as I can.

Didn't realize how hard eye contact was. I tried it at Walmart today and involuntarily looked away every time. So I'm still at zero but now I know what I'm up against.

Confidence is a fickle thing, though: My stop before Walmart was to the bank where I had to argue with a manager about a $25 fee. I looked him straight in the eye and was confident, almost agressive even, and never skipped a beat in my arguments. The fee was reversed.

Why I can yell at a 40-year-old man about money but can't look a passing stranger in the eye is a mystery to me.

Got accepted for a couple more interviews for jobs too!

LOL! Hehehe, i have no problem looking someone in the eye, also i too sometimes look away for some reason. Questions about college?? Well i dont know, i am not doing so good right now. Got my test scores from chemistry today and i am a little below average, so i got like a C. I am doing very good in English, but i want to start putting more energy into Chem and Math. English is 3 hour course and the other two are 5 hour, they are more important.

 

[shaken_not_stirred]

can i still join? i tried starting a while back but only w/ 2 other guys and just kinda died out... i start in tomorrow... add me to the list.

 

[sbguy]

first day...

alright i don't plan on posting reports for every day but this is the very first day of bootcamp so i think i'll make an exception...

how did you guys all do? i didn't get much of an opportunity to do the exercises - wokeup hungover in the morning and went to classes half-dead, so saying hi's to random girls didn't even enter my mind. after a nap i felt better so i took a walk to the drugstore (where i had to get some **** anyways) and decided to do the exercises there and back.

anyways, the results are: 8 hi's (i'm only doing it to girls i find attractive, so they were all at least HB7's). i only managed to make EC with 2 girls but this wasn't for a lack of effort - doesn't really matter though because i find i usually automatically maintain eye contact if i'm talking with someone.

problems: i find i get sort of anxious if i have to approach girls that are in groups so i think i'll work on that and start greeting girls in groups. all in all i don't think i have much problems saying hi to girls - the problem comes if i have to start up a conversation, so i think i might also start working on striking up a few conversations a day (it can't hurt to start early).

so yeah there's my report for day one. start'em comin in boys.

 

[SpeedStick]

Okay.... a bit more about myself as requested..... I'm 18 years old, in my second year of college. A few years ago I was really outgoing, kinda the class clown, but then in high school I became really nervous around all the people and became a bit reclusive. This year I think it's finally time to improve my social skills, especially around girls, hence the reason for the boot camp. About 5'10", 160 - not bad looks, but admittedly with a confidence problem that I'm hoping I can overcome in time.

As for the report.... I considered combining the first two weeks but eventually decided against it.... Better to take it slow, I figured, than rush it and then give up.... Made solid eye contact with about 7 girls today, meaning it was returned and lasted for at least a couple of seconds. Still seems a bit awkward, but I find if you do it a couple of times in quick succession you gain some momentum and can keep it up for a while. I'm not going to do a daily report for the first week, but will post an update at the end of the week, as well as any thoughts in the meantime....

Good luck everyone....