The number one red flag in a wingman (before you meet)

[Jesse Pinkman]

I have had a number of guys on this forum, one in particular, ping me about wanting to hang out after I shared my field report. These days, I have my go to wingmen but if some of you are new to game and hoping to find a wing, I wanted to share this with you. Over the years, I have had some wingmen who were not only great wingmen but also became some of my best friends. However, I have also met some wingmen who were not only awful wingmen but so toxic that I had to cut them out of my life immediately.

It can be really sketchy to meet a wing online because you never know what you will get with them.

For some, I wish I had seen the warning signs earlier and in a lot of cases you don't see it until you actually meet. However, this is by far the number one red flag I have noticed in all wings that turned out to be crap and one I want everyone to spot. If you see this in a wing, don't even bother meeting up with them.

Pushiness, neediness, and clinginess.

See how much the wing is pushing you to meet up. If you cannot meet up with them, see how they respond. If they are pushing the meet up, texting/calling/messaging you non-stop, and trying to push you to meet up with them, it is a big red flag. I've seen this in all of my wings that turned out to be garbage and overall toxic in general. What I ended up finding is that they did not value my time, often wasted it, and were emotionally volatile. When I cut the cord, they took it personally and one even took to gossiping about me and spreading rumors in the community we used to be a part of (he was banned). One even tried to routinely crash my sets but it ended up being comical more than anything.

Often times, you start realizing that there is a reason these wings don't have a lot of friends. It's not because they are lonely, it's because they are not comfortable enough in their own skin to be alone. A lot of them desperately need people because they are not fulfilled in life so they try to latch on to whoever they can. Most normal people, including women, sense this fast and head for the hills. If only these guys would fix their lives, take pleasure in being alone, and then build an amazing life from that.

With my quality wings, it was very much a "here's my kicka$$ life, feel free to join if you like". With these guys, it was very much needing to push you and constantly spam you in order to get you to hang out with them.

You start to notice that these guys are also an overbearing rollercoaster of emotions. They pour their emotions on to you and do not respect a thing about you such as your time.

The number one thing you will notice with crappy wings is that they love to waste time and are often inefficient in helping you score.

A lot of them will drive out to a nightclub an hour away from where they live, not have their logistics set up correctly, and then just celebrate nonsense such as "oh I got two numbers at a nightclub" (when numbers from a nightclub mean nothing). This is just an example of the kind of behavior these guys have which leads to them not only wasting time with their own dating lives but also wasting your time.

The second anyone on here or anywhere messages you too much and comes off as very pushy in terms of wanting to meet, instantly reject them and shut down ever meeting, there is a reason they are so desperate.

 

[SW15]

I think this is a good topic.

I've been in the mating environment 20+ years and never had a good wingman. Some of my friends who are good friends are not so good wingmen. My closest friend has been with the same woman since they were both in college. One night, many years ago, he went out with me to bars as a wing, allowing me to approach larger sets than if I were out solo. I recall us approaching a 3 set. He didn't do a good job with managing the two other women while I focused on the one I was most interested in. It didn't affect the friendship but I realized that I didn't want to use him as a wingman. We had been friends for multiple years by the time that happened.

Because I've never had a good wing, it has made sense for me to be a primarily non-bar approacher. You don't need a wing to do non-bar approaching.

Pushiness, neediness, and clinginess are going to be bad in sets in the field, so if you see that in online messaging, it is definitely a red flag.

 

[eli77]

I have had a number of guys on this forum, one in particular, ping me about wanting to hang out after I shared my field report. These days, I have my go to wingmen but if some of you are new to game and hoping to find a wing, I wanted to share this with you. Over the years, I have had some wingmen who were not only great wingmen but also became some of my best friends. However, I have also met some wingmen who were not only awful wingmen but so toxic that I had to cut them out of my life immediately.

It can be really sketchy to meet a wing online because you never know what you will get with them.

For some, I wish I had seen the warning signs earlier and in a lot of cases you don't see it until you actually meet. However, this is by far the number one red flag I have noticed in all wings that turned out to be crap and one I want everyone to spot. If you see this in a wing, don't even bother meeting up with them.

Pushiness, neediness, and clinginess.

See how much the wing is pushing you to meet up. If you cannot meet up with them, see how they respond. If they are pushing the meet up, texting/calling/messaging you non-stop, and trying to push you to meet up with them, it is a big red flag. I've seen this in all of my wings that turned out to be garbage and overall toxic in general. What I ended up finding is that they did not value my time, often wasted it, and were emotionally volatile. When I cut the cord, they took it personally and one even took to gossiping about me and spreading rumors in the community we used to be a part of (he was banned). One even tried to routinely crash my sets but it ended up being comical more than anything.

Often times, you start realizing that there is a reason these wings don't have a lot of friends. It's not because they are lonely, it's because they are not comfortable enough in their own skin to be alone. A lot of them desperately need people because they are not fulfilled in life so they try to latch on to whoever they can. Most normal people, including women, sense this fast and head for the hills. If only these guys would fix their lives, take pleasure in being alone, and then build an amazing life from that.

With my quality wings, it was very much a "here's my kicka$$ life, feel free to join if you like". With these guys, it was very much needing to push you and constantly spam you in order to get you to hang out with them.

You start to notice that these guys are also an overbearing rollercoaster of emotions. They pour their emotions on to you and do not respect a thing about you such as your time.

The number one thing you will notice with crappy wings is that they love to waste time and are often inefficient in helping you score.

A lot of them will drive out to a nightclub an hour away from where they live, not have their logistics set up correctly, and then just celebrate nonsense such as "oh I got two numbers at a nightclub" (when numbers from a nightclub mean nothing). This is just an example of the kind of behavior these guys have which leads to them not only wasting time with their own dating lives but also wasting your time.

The second anyone on here or anywhere messages you too much and comes off as very pushy in terms of wanting to meet, instantly reject them and shut down ever meeting, there is a reason they are so desperate.

Awesome post met only a few in the community it's been hit or miss.

 

[eli77]

Any wingman is preferable to none imo, just different dynamics. The most important thing is that it pushes you to do your approaches if you are disinclined to do them alone or with your usual friends.

Ever make it to Miami?

 

[eli77]

I have had a number of guys on this forum, one in particular, ping me about wanting to hang out after I shared my field report. These days, I have my go to wingmen but if some of you are new to game and hoping to find a wing, I wanted to share this with you. Over the years, I have had some wingmen who were not only great wingmen but also became some of my best friends. However, I have also met some wingmen who were not only awful wingmen but so toxic that I had to cut them out of my life immediately.

It can be really sketchy to meet a wing online because you never know what you will get with them.

For some, I wish I had seen the warning signs earlier and in a lot of cases you don't see it until you actually meet. However, this is by far the number one red flag I have noticed in all wings that turned out to be crap and one I want everyone to spot. If you see this in a wing, don't even bother meeting up with them.

Pushiness, neediness, and clinginess.

See how much the wing is pushing you to meet up. If you cannot meet up with them, see how they respond. If they are pushing the meet up, texting/calling/messaging you non-stop, and trying to push you to meet up with them, it is a big red flag. I've seen this in all of my wings that turned out to be garbage and overall toxic in general. What I ended up finding is that they did not value my time, often wasted it, and were emotionally volatile. When I cut the cord, they took it personally and one even took to gossiping about me and spreading rumors in the community we used to be a part of (he was banned). One even tried to routinely crash my sets but it ended up being comical more than anything.

Often times, you start realizing that there is a reason these wings don't have a lot of friends. It's not because they are lonely, it's because they are not comfortable enough in their own skin to be alone. A lot of them desperately need people because they are not fulfilled in life so they try to latch on to whoever they can. Most normal people, including women, sense this fast and head for the hills. If only these guys would fix their lives, take pleasure in being alone, and then build an amazing life from that.

With my quality wings, it was very much a "here's my kicka$$ life, feel free to join if you like". With these guys, it was very much needing to push you and constantly spam you in order to get you to hang out with them.

You start to notice that these guys are also an overbearing rollercoaster of emotions. They pour their emotions on to you and do not respect a thing about you such as your time.

The number one thing you will notice with crappy wings is that they love to waste time and are often inefficient in helping you score.

A lot of them will drive out to a nightclub an hour away from where they live, not have their logistics set up correctly, and then just celebrate nonsense such as "oh I got two numbers at a nightclub" (when numbers from a nightclub mean nothing). This is just an example of the kind of behavior these guys have which leads to them not only wasting time with their own dating lives but also wasting your time.

The second anyone on here or anywhere messages you too much and comes off as very pushy in terms of wanting to meet, instantly reject them and shut down ever meeting, there is a reason they are so desperate.

How did you meet your latest?

 

[BadWatermelon]

It's basically like going on a date, except with a different goal.

 

[eli77]

No but it's on the list. Maybe this winter.

Hit me up

 

[SW15]

Any wingman is preferable to none imo, just different dynamics. The most important thing is that it pushes you to do your approaches if you are disinclined to do them alone or with your usual friends.

My experience has enabled me to perceive that a wingman can be overrated. I went out to bars at night many times alone out of necessity and women didn't make a big deal out of it. I went out with my 6'4", White, former NCAA athlete friend at times and I wouldn't have called him a wingman. We were both hunters. He was spam approaching while I was more selective in pursuing my approaches. While he has been a good friend for a long time, it was never a good wingman situation + women were more drawn to him due to his height and overall look.

I had interest in daygame as far back as 2005, when I first heard about the idea of guys going to yoga classes to pick up women. I didn't get serious about daygame until reading Roosh's "Day Bang" soon after its 2011 release. At this point, I was nearly 30 years old and had been doing the bar scene + college parties at apartment complexes scene for a decade. I wished I had been more aware of dedicated, non-bar approaching back when I was in college. I would have experienced less drama and had higher quality interaction while they lasted. I was attracted to non-bar approaching due to the fact that it is totally acceptable to do it alone without a wingman.

I think @Jesse Pinkman has done his non-bar approaching outdoors in the Miami area with a wingman, which is good if you can manage to do that. I have never met a man in real life as interested in non-bar approaching as I have been.

 

[Zimbabwe]

My experience has enabled me to perceive that a wingman can be overrated.

It's only really good if you both know each other's game really well and can coordinate together to be more effective and efficient. If it's just some random bloke you met off a pua group, chances are he is just an awkward indian spam approacher.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Any wingman is preferable to none imo

Only if they are good wingmen, though.

I've had some great friends, who were horrible wingmen and just really bad around women. They make things harder and their behavior can be embarrassing. The best place to meet a new wingman is probably the gym. First, if the guy works out chicks will like it and he won't repulse them. You can also get to know him by casually talking at the gym and gauging his "DJ-ness." I've met a few good friends and wingmen over the years this way.

A good wingman is a powerful weapon when picking up chicks. But they're hard to find.

 

[SW15]

It's only really good if you both know each other's game really well and can coordinate together to be more effective and efficient. If it's just some random bloke you met off a pua group, chances are he is just an awkward indian spam approacher.

True.

You're more likely to get a better initial response with 2 than 1 in night game.

Mostly true. Much more relevant when the group of females at night is 3. Women in groups larger than 3 are not serious about meeting men.

Only if they are good wingmen, though.

I've had some great friends, who were horrible wingmen and just really bad around women. They make things harder and their behavior can be embarrassing. The best place to meet a new wingman is probably the gym. First, if the guy works out chicks will like it and he won't repulse them. You can also get to know him by casually talking at the gym and gauging his "DJ-ness." I've met a few good friends and wingmen over the years this way.

A good wingman is a powerful weapon when picking up chicks. But they're hard to find.

I agree with the points. I have never met a guy at the gym and had him become a wingman.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

The one thing all of you missed is not only how an awful or toxic wingman can ruin your sets, it is also how they can ruin your night and also your life. I have winged with some toxic overbearing guys who did stupid stuff and wasted my time. One lived an hour away but wanted to game at nightclubs in the city because "its a tough environment and it makes your game better". Needless to say, his logistics were crap and he never pulled, wasted my time. Then when the night was not going ideal he'd get mad at me.

Bad wingmen will waste your time and your life, solo is better than awful wingman.

 

[BadWatermelon]

The one thing all of you missed is not only how an awful or toxic wingman can ruin your sets, it is also how they can ruin your night and also your life. I have winged with some toxic overbearing guys who did stupid stuff and wasted my time. One lived an hour away but wanted to game at nightclubs in the city because "its a tough environment and it makes your game better". Needless to say, his logistics were crap and he never pulled, wasted my time. Then when the night was not going ideal he'd get mad at me.

Bad wingmen will waste your time and your life, solo is better than awful wingman.

These sound like traits that tend to skew toward younger guys. Maybe look for a wingman that's a little bit older?

 

[eli77]

I had exactly one way man in high school one in community college and have very few now unless they frequent is formed or read a couple of self-help books like the game it can be extremely difficult

 

[SW15]

how an awful or toxic wingman can ruin your sets

I had one of my friends in a relationship ruin a set for me by being boring AF.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I think guys who are driven towards success will tend to find where I am coming from. Point being, do not waste time on wingmen who do not have their sh1t together in life.