The "NOTEBOOK" woman poll-

[jophil28]

OK -here is a "hypothetical " ( maybe it is real so some of you.)
You are a mature DJ and you meet and date a stunning 40 something woman. YOu get are into her in less than a week and she sleeps with you regularly after the second Saturday nite date. YOu enter into an "exclusive " relationship with her. You do not date anyone else. You want her to be in your future.

She says," When I was 17 years old I met a really 'nice' guy and we dated for the next six years.He was my boyfriend. His name was J ... One night ,when I was 23 , I was out with the girls and I met D who was tall and handsome and I flirted and spent some club time with him. He was due to fly abroard the next day and while he was away , J proposed to me, I accepted and I wore his engagement ring.
When D returned he tracked me down via one of my girlfriends whom he knew.
HE asked me out and I went out to dinner with him. For the first time in my life I experienced real lust and after 9 dates with D he proposed to me. I accepted and broke up with J, who was shattered. My friends and family were against me marrying D.
I married D and my marriage was in turmoil from day one. I stayed in contaact with J, however, and he and I went out occasionally without my husbands knowledge. One night( in the second year of our marriage) I was planning to be with J . I told my husband that I was going to be " away tonight - I have to be in another part of the state on business."
I went out for dinner in the CBD with J and when we were driving thru the city ,D just happened to pull up at the same light as us and he saw me in the car with J.
D raced home and tossed a lot of my stuff out onto the lawn. I went straight home and and hour later we made up."

Your 40 something G/f has also had two lightweight flirting dates with two other guys during the six months that you have been together. She says that she had "no sex" with them, however..

You feel uneasy/ disturbed/ pissed off/ maybe ripped off ??.

What do you think and what do you do next?

 

[joekerr31]

you leave and move on with life.

 

[Sir Drinksalot]

You realize this is a woman you you should NOT be in an LTR with, right? The history is enough to tell you that. And what's this about having an exclusive relationship, yet she's gone on dates with two other guys (?) Does the exclusive part only pertain to YOU?

I don't know if it's possible to turn this into a more casual "don't ask, don't tell" regular hookup, but that would be optimal. I don't want you to stop banging a beautiful woman, but the writing's on the wall with this one.

"You knew I was a scorpion when you met me."

And do you REALLY need the interrogations at this point in your life? "Yeah we went out but we didn't have sex." That's way too freshman-year-of-college for me.

 

[lee36044]

"We went out but didn't have sex" all too often really means "we had sex but if you are too blind to figure it out I still want you around for whatever reason"

My experience has been that those kind of past relationship confessions you tell about are the same as saying this is what I will do to you so it's really your fault if you get hurt when it happens. By my being honest about it ... I gave you your chance to avoid the pain so I won't feel bad when I hurt you!

It's all about her not being perceived as a liar. To paraphrase Sir Drinks ... you knew, I bit, why so surprised? But she can and will, hold it out as justification and say ... "I told you how I was!" Doesn't matter how godlike she makes you feel now ... staying with this one will put you through the torments of hell if you let her matter too much to you!

 

[Sinistar]

Since this is a hypothetical, let's just say the guy is a 50yr old Mature DJ from down under

Then it's easy, first a polite cyber b!tch slap to knock him back out of the matrix because he somehow put aside his DJ mentality and frame and started reverting to his old programming that said "Let bygone's be bygones..." or "What's in the past should stay in the past..." or "I'm different than those other guys and she'll love me because I treat her nice..." or "She is more mature now and has changed..." or any of the other negative conditionings that one day caused him enough hurt to initially search out the DJ way of life.

Next, just tell this guy the truth straight away. The fact she's blabbing about her past relationships is because it bothers her and she wants you and more importantly her to believe she's different. Well that's fvcking stupid because if she truly had changed she wouldn't feel so insecure to start with! And it's her future guilt ejection mechanism. And they only emply he guilt ejection mechanism when they're *sensing* they'll have to eject (ie dropping desire/interest)

Next, she is entirely programmed to operate within the matrix. By that I mean she has learned in her 20+yrs of s3xual interactions with men that by simply telling them about past relationships will somehow activate the AFC subprogram in most of them (ie the guy will firmly establish the frame around her, by "accepting her past", "believing she's changed", etc)

And a rather blundt reminder about her s3xual past probably wouldn't hurt either. Just from your read I'm guessing this woman has been plugged in about every way possible and wouldn't be able to count her total partners if she used both hands. Heck, alot of "stunning" women have.

Then, I would challenge him on how truly "stunning" she really is. When a guy is AFC and stricken with ONE-itis, that one woman always seems to be the hottest babe on the planet, marriage material, soulmate, blah, blah, yuck. A trick here - just grab any magazine and point out a few hot younger babes to him and ask him to tell you to your face that the 40yr old is hotter!

Since this dude has: fallen hard enough to buy into her BS, offer to go exclusive and now sees her as "stunning" then my advice would be to MOVE FORWARD with his life.

If he had no emotional attachment, then heck yeah tell him to bag some great 10yr younger tail just for the heck of it (using protection of course).

However, if he's emotionally invested I would recommend moving on, he's either gonna hurt now or hurt alot more later when he pulls up to a stoplight and sees her on one of her lightweight flirting dates

And besides, supposedly there are some fine HB's down under. So he's single again, free to select and fvck from millions of Aussie babes. Nice problem to have eh mate!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,


I have a friend right now who is going through living hell because he didn't protect his heart. He put his trust in a woman prematurely that now, in retrospect, he realizes that he shouldn't have.

This woman "helped" him ruin his marriage, become separated from his kids, and lose his high paying job. All because SHE was giving him the affection and attentive respect that his wife WAS NOT giving him. And I believe he has a right to expect these things from his wife, and the circumstances as to why his wife withheld these things from him would have to be the subject of a whole other thread.

But anyway, what happened is that he met this chick and they flirted, and confided in each other, and what have you until they finally decided to get physical. So afterwards, this "mistress chick" latched on to him, sexed him more than ANY woman ever has before, then he "fell in love" with her. Well guess what? Now she's stepping out on him, disrespecting him, ****tt testing him, and I believe has NOW left him.

Why? Probably because the nature of this chick is that she is a Freak with strong Ho tendencies. I believe my friend was so overwhelmed by the sexual component that he failed to see this woman was NOT a Good Girl. Why? Because he didn't want to see it. He was caught up and he ENJOYED it.

Now my friend is devastated for the same reason MOST men get destroyed by their romantic dealings with women. They suffer from the same affliction that has plagued mankind since Adam and Eve:

They cannot reel in their desires and emotions enough to say NO to a woman----especially SEXUALLY.

For the Spiritual Guys:

If you are a spiritual person, you already know in your heart that anything that we put TOTAL emotional investment in is the same as IDOLATRY. And anything that we worship, in a sense, becomes our GOD. And anything OTHER than God that we put the entirety of our faith in will INEVITABLY fail and disappoint us---guarranteed.

For the Non-Spiritual Guys:

Any man who cannot resist pusssy under ANY circumstances has allowed himself to mature to a level NO HIGHER than the LOWEST of animals.

ANYTHING that you can't say NO to, is your MASTER. And YOU are it's SLAVE.

So let's be careful out there, soldiers...




Peace...one day.

 

[lee36044]

yup ... if you always put your heart in when you put your **** in .... it's better to keep it in your pants!