The "not looking for a relationship" type

[dj-apprentice]

Anyone have some recommendations for attracting the "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" type?

I'm not talking about the generic bullsh1t line a woman hands you when she doesn't want to date you anymore, I just mean the chicks (or see their profile online, that's another big one) who clearly state that they aren't looking for a relationship.

I figure that if a girl is sincere in this, then kino and any other expressions of sexuality will be pretty unwelcome and cause you to lose out with her both now and in the future.

Any thoughts?

Thanks...

 

[stormwriter]

I got stung by this a few months ago, with a girl i really liked. She told me she just got out of a relationship, and didn't want to be in another one. Yet, if i didn't call her or email her everyday, she would get angry. She even did things like brought me casserole, sewed my pants, went shopping with me, helped me clean my house, etc. All things that indicated she was "kind of" in a relationship with me. We dated for almost four months, and when she got bored, she used the "well, i told you i didn't want to be in a relationship..." excuse.

It's their safety blanket. Their escape plan from the beginning. I think you can use this to your advantage, and say that you don't want to be in a relationship either. Maybe say, "cool, now i don't have to call you very often, or do "courting" type behavior, like taking you to dinner all the time..."

So, just play their game. If they say, "are you a player or something? Is that why you don't want to be in a relationship?" Just say, "Hey lady, YOU don't want to be in a relationship either!"

 

[dj-apprentice]

I think a lot of women use that line as a defense mechanism. Perhaps they feel insecure and unworthy of a relationship and that is their way of rejecting you.

Or, maybe some guy has hurt them and they just don't feel like getting hurt again for a while.

In any regard, the quandary is that it would seem that you have to prove to this girl that you're trustworthy and can be a good friend, but doing that will probably put you in the "friendzone," which, ultimately, sucks very badly.

 

[86]

I kind of had a similar experience last month...this girl I dated for a while totally seemed more into the idea of a 'relationship' than me...in the end she basically picked her career over me and a relationship. she also was in a 2-year relationship (engaged too) before me that kind of ended badly...

someone said to me, "Remember, women are cowards. Few have the guts to directly tell you that they want let alone tell you the reason why."

 

[Quick]

What do kino and expressions of sexuality have to do with being in a relationship? Even if they truly don't want a relationship (which is very rare), they still want sex, they just don't want the complications of being attached to someone. You still need to express your sexuality and use kino. You don't change anything.

Don't overcomplicate things by thinking that the fundamental nature of women or attraction changes. It doesn't. Follow the bible regardless of what they say they want.

 

[dj-apprentice]

Walk by faith, not by sight then, huh?

Great points, though ... very true.

 

[dionysius_d]

thanks

Its a way out incase things turn sour..

and not a bad one either.. i might use it myself right now!! since i am not sure if something is gonna work or not, and its a great way to cover your ass haha..

thanks.

 

[princelydeeds]

I love it when they say they are not looking for a relationship. I act relieved, which I am, am say good neither am I "who needs the pressure." I use it to my advantage because after I bone them and they get all attached and start asking all kinds of relationship questions I say "didn't you just tell me you don't want a relationship?"

What does her wanting a LTR have to do with what you want?

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Just wanted to note that just because she says "she's not looking for a relationship right now" doesn't mean you should always believe her.

Chicks are always looking for a relationship with the right guy.

When I hear one of my prospects say this, I think "Great, I'm in" because she is at least thinking about it with me. Its almost always a good sign.

Now saying it is different that a "no relationship type" girl. As 86 said above, these girls will often tell you they "are looking for a relationship."

I guess it just reinforces that you should never listen to what a girl says, listen to what she does.