GeneralDMacArthur
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2001
- Messages
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Gentlemen,
If you’re looking for techniques to help you successfully seduce beautiful women then this post is not for you. There is plenty of information elsewhere on this site and others to help you in that area. If, on the other hand, you’re a man who has moved beyond successfully scoring, who has been fortunate enough to have found that one woman you love and to whom you are committed, and you’re a man for whom sex is no longer the ultimate goal but rather a successful life-long relationship, then read on. There are common pitfalls to avoid and principles to live by if you intend to successfully take your relationship to the next level. Once the honeymoon period is over, that initial phase of your relationship where you are both daily infatuated with one another and everything effortlessly falls into place, there inescapably follows a day when real effort is required and active cultivation of the relationship is necessary. Unfortunately, out of ignorance or sheer laziness, this is usually where we men end it. What you need to know is that the rich rewards far outweigh the effort required. But hard effort, my fellow gentlemen, is required.
If you neglect to cultivate your relationship it will, without fail, die. This is basic. You don’t just one day decide that you’re never again going to eat food. If you did, you’d emaciate and eventually die. We know this. If you stop watering your plant it withers and eventually dies, but that is exactly what we do to our relationships; we kill them by neglecting to cultivate them. Most of us know exactly how to cultivate a plant, but how do you cultivate a relationship? Like so many other great truths, the secrets for cultivating a life-long romance go against everything your instincts tell you. You have an innate tendency to dominate, to control, and to command your woman. Your natural instincts would have you change her through coercion. Sometimes the coercion is overt and physical such as beating her into submission. More often, the coercion is subtle and psychological such as belittling a characteristic of hers that you wish to see changed. The first step to cultivating is to eliminate the coercion. Since much of your coercion happens when you are not even conscious of it, this may appear to be an impossible task. It isn’t. The key to eliminating coercion is to completely stop wanting to change her. That’s it. Love her and accept her as is, without any desire to change a single thing about her. Now here’s the gem. If you do that and then put into practice the ensuing principles of relationship cultivation, she will, as a direct result, change herself on her own to please you as much as possible! Guaranteed. She’ll even change for the better in ways that you had not thought of, always seeking to tend to your needs and to make you happy. Sound good? Then diligently apply the following four principles.
First, love her. We tend to mystify love and think of it as some inexplicable force that comes upon us one day and then departs some other day. If nothing else, let this one truth sink into your mind: Love is as much a matter of the will as it is a matter of the emotion. Once you understand this, daily choosing to love her becomes a lifestyle. This principle is the key to all the others and is therefore vital to cultivating your relationship. Love her. The true character of love is not domination but rather self-sacrifice. Love her with a humble, unselfish love.
Second, be considerate. Live with her in an understanding way. That is the essence of consideration. It is opposite the cave men mentality, the macho mentality, the independent mentality, and the self-serving mentality. It involves understanding, sensitivity, meeting her needs, understanding her feelings, fears, anxieties, concerns, goals, dreams, and desires. That's what it means to be considerate. Living with her in an understanding way sometimes boils down to simply listening. Understand her heart because the greatest way to express your love to her is with sacrificing love that meets her needs and you have to know what those needs are. Consideration is key to cultivation.
Third, be chivalrous. Chivalry is an old word rarely used today and often frowned upon when it is used, but this lost principle is an essential ingredient to relationship cultivation. Women are weaker than men, physically. They were designed to be under the strength and protection and care of a man. She needs your strength. Gentlemen, offer your strength to her daily in every way, from carrying in the groceries to opening her door to holding her securely in your arms at night. Being chivalrous involves being courteous, protective, kind, brave, well-mannered, gracious, and strong. Start being a man by rediscovering chivalry.
Finally, foster communion. You do this by treating her with honor as a fellow human being. While men and women are unequal physically, they are equal spiritually. Treat her as a spiritual equal. I love what it says in Song of Solomon where the man says, "This is my beloved," and the woman says, "This is my beloved, my friend." There’s a deep sense of intimate, equal sharing of spiritual things. Open up to her and allow her to peer into your soul and truly know you in a way that no one else will ever be allowed. If you do, you'll build a lasting relationship that brings you more pleasure and bliss that any mere sex affair could ever offer.
Four principles, gentlemen. Love her unselfishly with the love of self-sacrifice, with a love that knows nothing of self and only of her and her needs and her concerns and her heart and sacrifice your life on her behalf. Be considerate by understanding, understanding her needs, understanding her feelings, understanding what it is that she longs for and desires. Be chivalrous, providing your strength, strength physically, strength emotionally, strength of character, all of those things apply. And you must treat her with communion as equals spiritually. If you practice these four cultivating principles every day, your relationship will thrive and your sweetheart will without fail respond by living her life centered around pleasing you.
- The General
[This message has been edited by GeneralDMacArthur (edited 08-31-2001).]
If you’re looking for techniques to help you successfully seduce beautiful women then this post is not for you. There is plenty of information elsewhere on this site and others to help you in that area. If, on the other hand, you’re a man who has moved beyond successfully scoring, who has been fortunate enough to have found that one woman you love and to whom you are committed, and you’re a man for whom sex is no longer the ultimate goal but rather a successful life-long relationship, then read on. There are common pitfalls to avoid and principles to live by if you intend to successfully take your relationship to the next level. Once the honeymoon period is over, that initial phase of your relationship where you are both daily infatuated with one another and everything effortlessly falls into place, there inescapably follows a day when real effort is required and active cultivation of the relationship is necessary. Unfortunately, out of ignorance or sheer laziness, this is usually where we men end it. What you need to know is that the rich rewards far outweigh the effort required. But hard effort, my fellow gentlemen, is required.
If you neglect to cultivate your relationship it will, without fail, die. This is basic. You don’t just one day decide that you’re never again going to eat food. If you did, you’d emaciate and eventually die. We know this. If you stop watering your plant it withers and eventually dies, but that is exactly what we do to our relationships; we kill them by neglecting to cultivate them. Most of us know exactly how to cultivate a plant, but how do you cultivate a relationship? Like so many other great truths, the secrets for cultivating a life-long romance go against everything your instincts tell you. You have an innate tendency to dominate, to control, and to command your woman. Your natural instincts would have you change her through coercion. Sometimes the coercion is overt and physical such as beating her into submission. More often, the coercion is subtle and psychological such as belittling a characteristic of hers that you wish to see changed. The first step to cultivating is to eliminate the coercion. Since much of your coercion happens when you are not even conscious of it, this may appear to be an impossible task. It isn’t. The key to eliminating coercion is to completely stop wanting to change her. That’s it. Love her and accept her as is, without any desire to change a single thing about her. Now here’s the gem. If you do that and then put into practice the ensuing principles of relationship cultivation, she will, as a direct result, change herself on her own to please you as much as possible! Guaranteed. She’ll even change for the better in ways that you had not thought of, always seeking to tend to your needs and to make you happy. Sound good? Then diligently apply the following four principles.
First, love her. We tend to mystify love and think of it as some inexplicable force that comes upon us one day and then departs some other day. If nothing else, let this one truth sink into your mind: Love is as much a matter of the will as it is a matter of the emotion. Once you understand this, daily choosing to love her becomes a lifestyle. This principle is the key to all the others and is therefore vital to cultivating your relationship. Love her. The true character of love is not domination but rather self-sacrifice. Love her with a humble, unselfish love.
Second, be considerate. Live with her in an understanding way. That is the essence of consideration. It is opposite the cave men mentality, the macho mentality, the independent mentality, and the self-serving mentality. It involves understanding, sensitivity, meeting her needs, understanding her feelings, fears, anxieties, concerns, goals, dreams, and desires. That's what it means to be considerate. Living with her in an understanding way sometimes boils down to simply listening. Understand her heart because the greatest way to express your love to her is with sacrificing love that meets her needs and you have to know what those needs are. Consideration is key to cultivation.
Third, be chivalrous. Chivalry is an old word rarely used today and often frowned upon when it is used, but this lost principle is an essential ingredient to relationship cultivation. Women are weaker than men, physically. They were designed to be under the strength and protection and care of a man. She needs your strength. Gentlemen, offer your strength to her daily in every way, from carrying in the groceries to opening her door to holding her securely in your arms at night. Being chivalrous involves being courteous, protective, kind, brave, well-mannered, gracious, and strong. Start being a man by rediscovering chivalry.
Finally, foster communion. You do this by treating her with honor as a fellow human being. While men and women are unequal physically, they are equal spiritually. Treat her as a spiritual equal. I love what it says in Song of Solomon where the man says, "This is my beloved," and the woman says, "This is my beloved, my friend." There’s a deep sense of intimate, equal sharing of spiritual things. Open up to her and allow her to peer into your soul and truly know you in a way that no one else will ever be allowed. If you do, you'll build a lasting relationship that brings you more pleasure and bliss that any mere sex affair could ever offer.
Four principles, gentlemen. Love her unselfishly with the love of self-sacrifice, with a love that knows nothing of self and only of her and her needs and her concerns and her heart and sacrifice your life on her behalf. Be considerate by understanding, understanding her needs, understanding her feelings, understanding what it is that she longs for and desires. Be chivalrous, providing your strength, strength physically, strength emotionally, strength of character, all of those things apply. And you must treat her with communion as equals spiritually. If you practice these four cultivating principles every day, your relationship will thrive and your sweetheart will without fail respond by living her life centered around pleasing you.
- The General
[This message has been edited by GeneralDMacArthur (edited 08-31-2001).]
