BeTheChange
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2015
- Messages
- 1,469
- Reaction score
- 1,144
Out with the old, in with the new
My break up acted as the initial catalyst and the holiday in Italy the engine that brought me back from the brink of becoming a permanent corporate robot. I spent a few months in Nepal when I finished universities and I remember it being one of the most enlightening experiences of my life. I had a conversation with one of the friends who accompanied me to Italy in place of my ex, who the ticket had originally been for. He made a really eye opening comment that speaks volumes to the direction I was headed. He said that while I was in Nepal there was a much more open, almost spiritual aspect to my world view and it’s something that seems to have been lost over the four years I’ve been in the City. He finished by saying since my breakup and particularly on this holiday he has seen that side of me again. And the truth is he is right.
I had committed suicide. I wasn’t dead but I wasn’t really living. I was allowing my life to become routine. Salaried job every day to come home to either work on the side business or spend time with my girlfriend watching TV. Business ventures on the weekends with perhaps an occasional night out. I had become comfortable. I was not LIVING in the world around me, instead becoming obsessed with every little penny being earned and every little extra client project coming in.
Sometimes you get caught up in this rat race without realising you can have it both ways. It’s possible to travel, meet new people, visit new places and have new experiences while punching the clock and working on a business. You just have to find that BALACE. And before my breakup I was tipping way over the edge of suit and tie greyness. Drudgery.
One of the many blessings that this break up has provided is to wake me up to the reality of what I was allowing this life to be. I collected stories from so many interesting people during my getaway. I met an amazing Mexican woman who trained at one of the most famous ballet schools in the world in Cuba. Her spiritual take on life was captivating, even if I didn’t agree with every word. I also had a good time with a New Jersey born and raised Filipino woman, who I met randomly while we were both waiting in the queue for the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.
All this made me realise that now is the time to live.
My plans going forward are:
My break up acted as the initial catalyst and the holiday in Italy the engine that brought me back from the brink of becoming a permanent corporate robot. I spent a few months in Nepal when I finished universities and I remember it being one of the most enlightening experiences of my life. I had a conversation with one of the friends who accompanied me to Italy in place of my ex, who the ticket had originally been for. He made a really eye opening comment that speaks volumes to the direction I was headed. He said that while I was in Nepal there was a much more open, almost spiritual aspect to my world view and it’s something that seems to have been lost over the four years I’ve been in the City. He finished by saying since my breakup and particularly on this holiday he has seen that side of me again. And the truth is he is right.
I had committed suicide. I wasn’t dead but I wasn’t really living. I was allowing my life to become routine. Salaried job every day to come home to either work on the side business or spend time with my girlfriend watching TV. Business ventures on the weekends with perhaps an occasional night out. I had become comfortable. I was not LIVING in the world around me, instead becoming obsessed with every little penny being earned and every little extra client project coming in.
Sometimes you get caught up in this rat race without realising you can have it both ways. It’s possible to travel, meet new people, visit new places and have new experiences while punching the clock and working on a business. You just have to find that BALACE. And before my breakup I was tipping way over the edge of suit and tie greyness. Drudgery.
One of the many blessings that this break up has provided is to wake me up to the reality of what I was allowing this life to be. I collected stories from so many interesting people during my getaway. I met an amazing Mexican woman who trained at one of the most famous ballet schools in the world in Cuba. Her spiritual take on life was captivating, even if I didn’t agree with every word. I also had a good time with a New Jersey born and raised Filipino woman, who I met randomly while we were both waiting in the queue for the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.
All this made me realise that now is the time to live.
- I'm a single guy
- I'm reaching the peak of my "natural" physical health and attractiveness. I won’t be young and fit for ever
- This year I made the equivalent of nearly £100,000 before tax. I’ve cleared all debts and have more in savings than most people make in a year. In 2016/17 and going forward if business plans and promotions are successful this is a very achievable target. Financial freedom and security gives you a certain intangible confidence. I should be able to enjoy my money and make it work for me, not the other way round
- I am, based on my own observations, comments from friends, lovers and my track record of success with women, noticeably above average in looks – I should take advantage of this and REALLY experience the different array of women in this world. Their bodies, their desires, their minds, their experiences. I want to consume them all. I was a late bloomer due to confidence issues and yet I tied myself down to a 3-year relationship in my twenties! What was I thinking! And the reality is, once a wife or kids are involved you cannot have the same experiences and the same freedoms
My plans going forward are:
- Keep up with Salsa twice a week and Spanish group lessons once a week – the big trip to South America will happen! I’m aiming to do it before I hit thirty
- At least 4 trips abroad each year
- Do something a bit out of the ordinary once a fortnight on the weekend. Try an activity outside of your comfort zone – hiking, surfing, museums, nature reserves, etc. We live in the age of the internet. You can find these activities with ease. No excuses.
- Arrange dates with the main chick max twice a week. Let me explain this point. When my ex and I started dating I was fiercely independent. We met only once a week. When she asked for exclusivity one of the things she wanted was to see me more. This went from maybe 2 to 3 days a week, to every other day, to moving in together and seeing each other every day. The second point is that I got so caught up in chasing the almighty dollar, that I took my ex for granted and stopped “dating” my girlfriend. I don’t know if this made her a higher cheating risk, but that’s not my concern. It wasn’t fair to her or myself. We were both decaying into routine
- Unless exclusive (and I don’t plan to be anytime soon) keep at least two other side chicks in rotation for a weekday date / booty call
- Give myself to others unselfishly – volunteer. It’s cliché but helping others can really be life enhancing. Nepal set me free for a time. It allows you to take a step outside yourself and give you a clearer perspective on life. It also shifts your mindset into appreciating what you have rather than coveting that which you don’t possess
- Read more. I used to be an incessant reader of both fiction and non-fiction. One of the first things people do when they come over to my place for the first time is comment on my library – and I’ve read almost all the books in there. I’m not Gatsby. I don’t know what happened but I eventually succumbed to the belief of “why read when you can spend another hour on the business”. Never again. I just ordered “Carmen” by Prosper Merimee. I was intrigued as the Mexican woman mentioned it was one of her favourite novels. I also ordered “Post Office” and a few other books by Charles Bukowski. I’m going to open that book tonight
- Make my business self-sustaining. If I could quit my job and run my business on the road what more could one, ask for?
- Deal with my personal issues and demons so I can form more genuine, lasting relationships with friends, family and future girlfriends
- Explore the benefits of meditation
- Play the guitar again – another hobby I dropped due to my girlfriend / business
- Expand my social circle – I’m hoping that comes naturally with all the things I’m doing above