The new kind of losers

[TheBest]

Re: Re: The new kind of losers

Originally posted by MaDsKaTeR212
go to the HS forum, and read through some of the posts. you will probably notice that more are motivational and success stories than questions.

You're right. I never go to the HS forum. I should probably check it out from time to time

there are the "losers" that just hang around here without changing their lives, but for many people even if they dont make a move with any girls they find that they become more confident, happy, etc.

I don't understand this. Where is the confidence if you dont make a move with girls? I see confidence as a mean to get what you want. Someone who thinks he's more confident as a result of coming here, but still can't approach, tell me, is he more confident or is he just fooling himself? It's the end result that counts. Suppose you have two friends: one of them gets the girls and the other one appears to be very confident and very happy but he stills doesn't approach women ( and you know that he wants to). Now, which one of them would you call a DJ?
I know it takes time and you have to be confident before making moves but understand that confidence is just a state of mind and that only RESULTS count.

this place changes lives. realize that.

It changed mine

 

[No Longer a Loser]

Re: Re: Re: The new kind of losers

Originally posted by TheBest
Where is the confidence if you dont make a move with girls? I see confidence as a mean to get what you want. Someone who thinks he's more confident as a result of coming here, but still can't approach, tell me, is he more confident or is he just fooling himself? It's the end result that counts. Suppose you have two friends: one of them gets the girls and the other one appears to be very confident and very happy but he stills doesn't approach women ( and you know that he wants to). Now, which one of them would you call a DJ?
I know it takes time and you have to be confident before making moves but understand that confidence is just a state of mind and that only RESULTS count.

I believe confidence comes from experience. After you crash and burn a few times, and realise, that it's not so bad after all. That's when you become confident.

You've got to **** up a few times before you start becoming successful.

As for the two friends analogy, I'll bet that the second friend who appears confident reads this site everyday, posts a lot, but never goes out and applies his knowledge. I'll admit I was like this, when I was discussing with a friend.

You can get knowledge from reading websites, books and so on. But you'll only get wisdom (and confidence too) from the experience of going out to say hello to a girl.

 

[iceman666]

I agree with the Best. I may be new here, but it appears that this site is riddled with golf spectators who scream "get in the hole" every time Tiger hits his putt. My adivse would be to strap on some spikes and get in the game. No chick is gonna want to drop to her knees because you attained some "Senior," "Master," "Mega" DJ status. She might if you walk up to her, knowing that she is really lucky to meet you.

No magic potion, gimmick, hypnotic trance, is going to save you if you are relying on them to get girls. Rely on yourself. You might think you just need a gimmick for that first chick, and once you get that self esteem you will be fine. If your ego rides on responces you get from random girls you meet at bars, you are never going to have great self confidence. Think of the girls who validate themselves because they get guys. In reality, most don't have real self confidence. You should change your locus from external to internal. Knowing that only you and no outside forces have any impact on who you are, what you want, and how your going to attain it. As with a number of fantastic posts i've read, this is more of a life lesson than a how to pick up chicks, but its all the same.

"in every conversation a sale is made. Either you sell them on a stock, or they sell you a reason why they can't buy it. So who's gonna make the sale, you, or them."

 

[Nocturnal]

Re: Re: Re: The new kind of losers

Originally posted by TheBest
You're right. I never go to the HS forum. I should probably check it out from time to time

i suppose.....

Originally posted by TheBest
I don't understand this. Where is the confidence if you dont make a move with girls? I see confidence as a mean to get what you want. Someone who thinks he's more confident as a result of coming here, but still can't approach, tell me, is he more confident or is he just fooling himself? It's the end result that counts. Suppose you have two friends: one of them gets the girls and the other one appears to be very confident and very happy but he stills doesn't approach women ( and you know that he wants to). Now, which one of them would you call a DJ?
I know it takes time and you have to be confident before making moves but understand that confidence is just a state of mind and that only RESULTS count.

you dont have to make a move with girls, yes it will be in your best interest (unless you're not... how could i say it... straight). tell me whats better. a loser kid who thinks about commiting suicide because he has no friends and is picked on, or a kid who used to be that and ends up getting himself together and making friends, and having fun. one is better than the other. there were no girls involved.

maybe it takes some people a long time to move from one side to the other. that doesn't mean they haven't improved. these are positive RESULTS.

It changed mine

mine as well .


my point was that you're overexaggerating and it's not like 50% of the people here are just reading this to spend their day. there is really a lot of progress, a lot more than those without any.

 

[Lozz]

you have a point there

 

[56andre]

...

 

[squirrels]

I'm on this forum way too much, but the main reason is that since it's winter and I crashed my bike, I don't have much business on bike forums and I haven't really picked up any new "hobbies", so this is my "go-to forum" for right now, unfortunately. Working in IT will do that to you...you're basically sitting on your arse until someone has a problem, then you spring into action for 20 minutes and then go back to surfing the damned Internet.

I don't typically post from home...if I do, it's probably because I have a question myself. And it's interesting how few of the "pontificators" actually have answers to practical questions, even though they ALL seem to be masters of the "theory".

Most of what I say comes from my personal interaction with women. But in all seriousness, "getting laid" just isn't that important after a while. It's something to do. I'd personally love to find one girl who I could be in a relationship with and who could satisfy my needs in a companion...but as yet, I haven't found one.

 

[Huffman]

Holy Necroposting Batman!!