The Never Ending Text Conversation

[shouldbefun]

Me: Heyyyyy there. Its Glassguy. Whatcha up to?
Her: Just doing blah blah
Me: That sounds so boooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. What do you like to do for fun? Adventurous?
Her: I like blah blah blah
Me: Cool...same here. I gotta run but it sounds like we have a few things in common. I am grabbing a drink Tuesday night around 8. Why dont you join me. Shoot me your number and we can set up the whens and wheres


Thats pretty much it. I agree with building a little rapport, but there is a difference in her qualifying you vs you qualifying her.

I've had plenty of chicks that would tell me they were into shyte that I dislike and I would not ask them out. They are qualifying themselves to me......not the other way around.

If I am doing all of the talking (text and in person) then who is qualifying who?

I dont like asking a chick out right off the bat. I want to find out some things first. Why? Because I have not even made sure that I would have fun with her on a date. Why would I want to go out with someone purely based on 100% looks? She may be a total bytch. Sit and have drink with that personality for an hour? No thanks.

Secondly, without building some minor rapport with her before asking her out, what has she done or how has she qualified herself to me in order for me to even ask her out to begin with? Just because she is attractive? Hell there are a lot of attractive women out there. I am looking for someone that at least also has a good personality if I am going to actually meet up with her.

You qualify her, stay in a strong frame.

Makes sense, but is that on Tinder? Say I got her number in real life, but I didn't talk about dates/drinks, same thing applies right?

And if she doesn't reply after the first message then she's not interested? It's not because the message isn't captivating right?

The message could include several points, and you could span it out for a bit longer right? Or is it best to keep rapport short and sweet to end with a date invite?

Regarding messaging, say I could send an ice breaker, and then send a text back a day or two after just like yours saying "Hey whatcha up to?" or would I need to be more creative? -Because seems like you made your point that it doesn't have to be fancy, if she's in, she's in and there's no stressing about sending the wrong message?

To add, about asking right away, she'll probably be thinking why am I being asked out, does he not care about me, does he care about my looks than my personality?

 

[jaymbrs]

Texting is my primary way of communication since it's the most convenient. And honestly, it is for most working people. Only time I like talking on the phone is when I'm driving. I don't care what the woman I'm trying to communicate with prefers. It's my preference to text. If she prefers to talk on the phone, then the communication will be very minimal as I also have to call other people. So to sum it up, the chances of hitting it off with the girl I'm chasing are better if she's also a texter.

 

[shouldbefun]

Me: Heyyyyy there. Its Glassguy. Whatcha up to?
Her: Just doing blah blah
Me: That sounds so boooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. What do you like to do for fun? Adventurous?
Her: I like blah blah blah
Me: Cool...same here. I gotta run but it sounds like we have a few things in common. I am grabbing a drink Tuesday night around 8. Why dont you join me. Shoot me your number and we can set up the whens and wheres


Thats pretty much it. I agree with building a little rapport, but there is a difference in her qualifying you vs you qualifying her.

I've had plenty of chicks that would tell me they were into shyte that I dislike and I would not ask them out. They are qualifying themselves to me......not the other way around.

If I am doing all of the talking (text and in person) then who is qualifying who?

I dont like asking a chick out right off the bat. I want to find out some things first. Why? Because I have not even made sure that I would have fun with her on a date. Why would I want to go out with someone purely based on 100% looks? She may be a total bytch. Sit and have drink with that personality for an hour? No thanks.

Secondly, without building some minor rapport with her before asking her out, what has she done or how has she qualified herself to me in order for me to even ask her out to begin with? Just because she is attractive? Hell there are a lot of attractive women out there. I am looking for someone that at least also has a good personality if I am going to actually meet up with her.

You qualify her, stay in a strong frame.

BTW TO ADD this is very helpful, I had trouble with messaging, and I made a lot of mistakes that I could have avoided but this really clears a lot of questions I had in my head. THANK YOU!

 

[Glassguy]

Makes sense, but is that on Tinder? Say I got her number in real life, but I didn't talk about dates/drinks, same thing applies right?

And if she doesn't reply after the first message then she's not interested? It's not because the message isn't captivating right?

The message could include several points, and you could span it out for a bit longer right? Or is it best to keep rapport short and sweet to end with a date invite?

Regarding messaging, say I could send an ice breaker, and then send a text back a day or two after just like yours saying "Hey whatcha up to?" or would I need to be more creative? -Because seems like you made your point that it doesn't have to be fancy, if she's in, she's in and there's no stressing about sending the wrong message?

To add, about asking right away, she'll probably be thinking why am I being asked out, does he not care about me, does he care about my looks than my personality?

Tinder/Facebook/Any other OLD/You get her number and text: It all stays the same.

If she doesnt reply after the first message its low interest. Move on.

Keep the message simple. Why would you want to send a long message? Are you trying to impress a complete stranger? Why do you need to sale yourself to someone you dont know? Because you see her value as much higher than yours?

Most of my first messages are:

"Hiya", "Heyyyy there", "Hey whats up". If they dont respond back they get no more of my time.

If they are ATTRACTED to you and have medium to higher interest, they will respond back. If they dont, they wont. You cannot negotiate how a woman perceives you sexually (attraction) and to what degree she wants to get to know you (interest). You simply cannot do it.

So anything you send back after she does not respond to a very short message turns into immediate chasing her.

I get plenty of responses back to those short messages. And some dont respond back. Maybe she doesnt like blonde haired guys. Maybe she likes beards and I dont have one. Who the hell knows but I certainly dont care or stew around wondering about it.

YOU sending a message shows her that you are INTERESTED in her looks. Her RESPONDING is her message that she is opening to door for a little conversation to make sure you dont interest her on the looks part and then be a complete non social boob when it comes to communication. And to see if after a few messages (assuming there is mutual sexual interest) if you will grab the bull by the horns and ask her to join you for a drink. Or you may just keep "chatting" yourself right out of the opportunity.

Also, no response IS a response. Not interested. And that is ok too. Just keep hitting up other chicks that you are interested in/attracted to.

 

[backseatjuan]

All those women I see on the street walking while texting and driving while texting, staring into their phones and texting, they are all texting with alphas they fck.


Either that or they chatting about their day with their friends that they don't fck.


I believe this is pook, lesson 1 or two, what are women doing? They are talking and sht.

 

[biggoal]

Makes sense, but is that on Tinder? Say I got her number in real life, but I didn't talk about dates/drinks, same thing applies right?

And if she doesn't reply after the first message then she's not interested? It's not because the message isn't captivating right?

The message could include several points, and you could span it out for a bit longer right? Or is it best to keep rapport short and sweet to end with a date invite?

Regarding messaging, say I could send an ice breaker, and then send a text back a day or two after just like yours saying "Hey whatcha up to?" or would I need to be more creative? -Because seems like you made your point that it doesn't have to be fancy, if she's in, she's in and there's no stressing about sending the wrong message?

To add, about asking right away, she'll probably be thinking why am I being asked out, does he not care about me, does he care about my looks than my personality?

Why is it when a woman likes me on tinder or bumble and I send her a message they dont reply back?

 

[nicksaiz65]

Me: Heyyyyy there. Its Glassguy. Whatcha up to?
Her: Just doing blah blah
Me: That sounds so boooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. What do you like to do for fun? Adventurous?
Her: I like blah blah blah
Me: Cool...same here. I gotta run but it sounds like we have a few things in common. I am grabbing a drink Tuesday night around 8. Why dont you join me. Shoot me your number and we can set up the whens and wheres


Thats pretty much it. I agree with building a little rapport, but there is a difference in her qualifying you vs you qualifying her.

I've had plenty of chicks that would tell me they were into shyte that I dislike and I would not ask them out. They are qualifying themselves to me......not the other way around.

If I am doing all of the talking (text and in person) then who is qualifying who?

I dont like asking a chick out right off the bat. I want to find out some things first. Why? Because I have not even made sure that I would have fun with her on a date. Why would I want to go out with someone purely based on 100% looks? She may be a total bytch. Sit and have drink with that personality for an hour? No thanks.

Secondly, without building some minor rapport with her before asking her out, what has she done or how has she qualified herself to me in order for me to even ask her out to begin with? Just because she is attractive? Hell there are a lot of attractive women out there. I am looking for someone that at least also has a good personality if I am going to actually meet up with her.

You qualify her, stay in a strong frame.

Yeah I think I'm basically going to pretty much steal this for my Tinder game dude haha.

Some people disagree with asking questions? But I agree with you in the sense that you need to qualify her. Plus having some prefabricated questions like "are you adventurous" makes sure you'll never get stuck in the conversation. Especially for those girls that give you nothing to work with in their profile/bio.

Also maybe it's just me, but I sometimes like doing Cold Reads and turning questions into statements. So you don't come off like you're interviewing her.

 

[nicksaiz65]

And I can't speak for others but I've had the best results texting for logistics.

 

[MountainSlide]

If a woman feels as though she needs to send me texts telling me everything she is doing, what is happening, yada yada, I see that as a red flag. #1 she is not a busy and productive person. #2 this is a person that is looking for constant attention or even worse, someone to provide them happiness they cannot get on their own.

I agree. This is a major red flag and from my experience these are always the manipulative ones. They do this to occupy space in your head, get you emotionally hooked, so they can get their validation/attention. It never ends well lol.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I agree. This is a major red flag and from my experience these are always the manipulative ones. They do this to occupy space in your head, get you emotionally hooked, so they can get their validation/attention. It never ends well lol.

Yeah... That's why I like texting for logistics. It doesn't let women toy with you for your nonsexual attention

 

[biggoal]

I love texting versus talking over the phone.

 

[ubercat]

So @Mauser96 I m curious. (And verrry rusty).

Most guys here r saying u need to pay minimum messaging tax.

Do you disagree? Or r u setting up the interaction in a different way that makes the no texting ok for her?

 

[biggoal]

Some of these OLD women before a first date will text your eyeballs off for hours.

 

[xplt]

Some of these OLD women before a first date will text your eyeballs off for hours.

And it's up to YOU, if you entertain this, or if you invest your time into something more usefull for you.

 

[biggoal]

And it's up to YOU, if you entertain this, or if you invest your time into something more usefull for you.

What if shes offended you dont reply fast enough then and ghost you? Old is the only method I use right now to meet women.

 

[xplt]

What if shes offended you dont reply fast enough then and ghost you? Old is the only method I use right now to meet women.

Happens all the time. She then doesn't have enough interest. Go for the next one.

Would you be offended, if someone you don't even know doesn't chat fast enough?

 

[ubercat]

Ah ok situational not SOP - thanks understand.

 

[Glassguy]

I am guessing 90% of men (myself included) text wayyyy too much

I agree.

While I try to use texting as the tool to set up dates, I also try to limit the texting.

High interest women WILL WANT to text. They wont just stay quiet from the time the date is set until the date itself. A woman who has high interest in a man will want to know certain things (something I will probably start a thread on later). In doing so, she will surely send that man texts.

I try to keep the texting to simply answering the question. I dont try to get in some big conversation over text.

 

[gettinit]

I have had success and failure using both approaches. I have found that measured engagement works best for me. I just have fun with it, neg her and challenge her. I just don't send boring stuff just to keep a conversation going. If I feel it dying or want to leave her at I high spot, I just sign off. Many times, I have hit the send button thinking what I said was a little over the top, but F it. Except for a rare exception, the girls run with it. How many do you think get a hundred messages of "how is your day" or "You are really cute"? ZZZZZZ

A recent starter (she initiated after a tinder match)
Her: Where did you come from?
Me: My momma always told me that I came from her belly. You?
Her: I have been here the whole time
Me: There really isn't an option to leave and come back. That is unless you believe in that sort of thing.
Her: In a past life I think that I was a warrior princess. What would you have been?
Me: A general with his eyes on the throne.
Her: Ahh a king in the making. You would need a queen.
Me: Yes and that choice is a difficult one. A combination of smart and sexy. Know anyone?
Her: I might. So, Mr mystery, tell me something about yourself.
Me: I just did. Pay attention!
Her: Haha.. I am!
Me: Nice chatting with you. I have to run to a meeting. Talk later.
Her: OK TTYL

A lot of guys would have responded with a long message introducing themselves and actually telling her where they came from bla bla bla.

I sent her a few messages the next day and got her number. From there, it was about a week of scattered groups of texts, with a bit of innuendo that she picked up on (some are clueless or act that way) and built on. I do believe that f*cking their mind first makes many doors easier to open later by establishing at least some level of connection. The first date then feels more like the second. Some on here just go right for the meet. I wish that worked for me. As far as time goes, you have to feel it out and if I am busy, I can keep things warm until I get free time to ask her to meet. If I get shot down for a meet and she is still very responsive and she seems fun, I'll just act like it never happened and ask again when it feels right. I just back way off to see if I she seems to start chasing. Obviously, having others going is never a bad idea. At this point I can usually tell in just a few texts if things are going to progress. Some are just boring or dumb and some just don't get my brand of humor. That's fine with me.

Anyway, I ended up meeting the woman from the example for drinks and went back to her place to sample a wine that she had. Never even opened the bottle.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Tinder/Facebook/Any other OLD/You get her number and text: It all stays the same.

If she doesnt reply after the first message its low interest. Move on.

Keep the message simple. Why would you want to send a long message? Are you trying to impress a complete stranger? Why do you need to sale yourself to someone you dont know? Because you see her value as much higher than yours?

Most of my first messages are:

"Hiya", "Heyyyy there", "Hey whats up". If they dont respond back they get no more of my time.

If they are ATTRACTED to you and have medium to higher interest, they will respond back. If they dont, they wont. You cannot negotiate how a woman perceives you sexually (attraction) and to what degree she wants to get to know you (interest). You simply cannot do it.

So anything you send back after she does not respond to a very short message turns into immediate chasing her.

I get plenty of responses back to those short messages. And some dont respond back. Maybe she doesnt like blonde haired guys. Maybe she likes beards and I dont have one. Who the hell knows but I certainly dont care or stew around wondering about it.

YOU sending a message shows her that you are INTERESTED in her looks. Her RESPONDING is her message that she is opening to door for a little conversation to make sure you dont interest her on the looks part and then be a complete non social boob when it comes to communication. And to see if after a few messages (assuming there is mutual sexual interest) if you will grab the bull by the horns and ask her to join you for a drink. Or you may just keep "chatting" yourself right out of the opportunity.

Also, no response IS a response. Not interested. And that is ok too. Just keep hitting up other chicks that you are interested in/attracted to.

The problem with this philosophy is that women have no real idea if they are attracted to you or not many times until you meet in person. As such getting them to meet in person should be the goal. The same way they could love talking or texting with you on the phone but then not like you at all in person is the same way they might not think they are that interested in you but then meet you and realize they really are.

Meeting in person = getting laid