The Name of the "Game" is FUN...

[Virtú]

That's not exactly what I meant.

How many guys on here secretly feel like this:
"To Hell with women, they're too much work."
"If I could masturbate all day every day, I would."
Sure, being a real man would be great, but its hard and I don't have to do it."

This situation, and similar situations in other aspects of [your] life, are what I'm referring to. IMO, if you're relying on pressure or [potential] pleasure to shake this sort of thing, then you're never going to improve or get laid.

IMO, until you get good, until it clicks, until you become it, it's willpower and discipline that are going to get you out there bettering yourself and hitting on women, nothing else.

Sucking and failing at being a man is not fun - but it's the only way to become a man. So you toughen up, you build willpower, you become stronger than pain and fear, and suddenly you are a man. How can you take pleasure in being anything less?

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by Virtú
IMO, if you're relying on pressure or [potential] pleasure to shake this sort of thing, then you're never going to improve or get laid.

Sucking and failing at being a man is not fun - but it's the only way to become a man. So you toughen up, you build willpower, you become stronger than pain and fear, and suddenly you are a man. How can you take pleasure in being anything less?

I couldn't have said it better myself...being a man is hardwork...it involves a lot of hard labor and hard ons...LoL..

It's like building muscle. The experience of weight lifting is painful but persistance and routine is what produces the muscles that women adore.

 

[HB_Hunter]

I do agree with what your saying guys regarding the being a man thing and the balance thing .... but the road-block or the hold-back that im talking about Generally when you think that you want to catch up ...you aren't the one that you want to be or umm your a bit far from what you desire to be (perfect is boring) ,or from others .. making you worry about the outcome , pressurrizing yourself ,

As an example:

I love the Habit is all mindset: so let us say that you are not having the best of times with life , mood , (natural hold-back phase) . your kinda rusty with the ladies not the smooth guy like before . to make things worse , you didn't know what to talk about or over-thought things while you were taking this girl out . What comes to mind during this either this " You should have fun , get loose , view life through a child's eye , stuff will come , relax , then to find myself pressurizing to be fun and enjoy my time ..result : remain silent becuase of all those thoughts and pressure inside . or " Oh daaamn , you should focus on the consistency , on the habit , not focus on the girl or the procedure to find myself later maaan , this is a very long way , other guys are getting chicks left and right and im still going from scratch , feeling like im not catching up , i should learn from my mistakes becuase i shall always be learning but hey isn't this too long and basic , how shall i get this girl ?? then start worrying" this is the mindset that beat me and forces me to act , not let go , ,pressureize not enjoy . A total different mindset than the normal one when im letting go of stuff and flowing with life " Yoohooo , there this girl , let's have fun , let's go for her as their plenty more to go after , i don't care if she rejects me , think of me , i just want her and i m following my nature " this is what i try to regain or return back to when the going gets tough (during the hold-back phase)

the Hold-back phase happen when i haven't interacted with ladies due to either being busy in work , college , didn't go the gym for a long time , etc.. then it ends in me either forcing myself a couple of times then gaining the right mindset shown up there or making me feel down to come here later or re-read pook posts to return back to the right mindset . this is what i wanted to discuss in a Nutshell .

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by HB_Hunter
the Hold-back phase happen when i haven't interacted with ladies due to either being busy in work , college , didn't go the gym for a long time , etc.. then it ends in me either forcing myself a couple of times then gaining the right mindset shown up there or making me feel down to come here later or re-read pook posts to return back to the right mindset . this is what i wanted to discuss in a Nutshell.

Why must you be content with being beta?

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by DjDreamer
Why must you be content with being beta?

Why would anyone be content with being beta - because its easier than becoming alpha.
The temptation that we must resist.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

I'm not really sure what to say when it comes to aquiring a fun loving, easy going personality, aside from deciding that you are going to be fun loving and easy going. I think one key is to realize that life is short, and a hunger to enjoy the little time you have.

Here is a big thing I realized a while back. This realization helped me overcome my fear of rejection. This is in regard to people in general: By being yourself around people and not caring whether people react positively or negatively to my personality, I end up eliminating people that have very different personalities than I, and attracting those with similiar personalities (who I enjoy spending time with). In the process I end up being looked at as an alpha male or what have you because I don't care what others think and am embracing my own personality and not looking for approval from others.

I generally am very friendly and fun loving but sometimes I feel like being more reserved and to myself, and thats fine. You don't need to be party guy 24-7. And there is a medium between the two extremes.

The point of this post really is to enforce the idea that this should be fun. Your gonna have alot more success if you don't take yourself too serious in your interactions with women and enjoy the process of embarrassing yourself you will appear and actually BE more confident, and thus more successful. The journey is more important than the destination.

Mr. Mystery

 

[So Many Ways]

Your post is touching on some things I've been thinking of for a while. For most of my life, I've seen the whole process of meeting women and dating as a tortuous process. Lately I've been thinking more along the lines of having love for the game. If you have love for the game, you'll be better at it since you will enjoy the process.

I'm going to adopt this outlook from now on.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Everytime I read the boards I see the same questions asked over and over again. I don't reply to much because I have nothing new to say, my answer is always the same: Relax, don't take yourself you serious, have fun with it and when you become comfortable with it, things will start falling into place.

This is the mindset to have when you don't have any experience, and it is the best advice to have when you have tons of experience.

The only advice I could give to any question is, don't ask questions, do something and enjoy the process. Experience is the only way to get better, with experience you become more comfortable, and that comfort you get is what women love. Confidence, comfort, self-acceptance, and self-esteem are all the same thing.

Do, and have fun. That is all you need to know.

Mr. Mystery

 

[MVP]

This is a good reminder and an important one. Just have fun while you improve and interact with people. It's all about having fun isn't it? That's the reason you're here in the first place is because you wanted this to be fun, not some chore you have to go through. We're not in prison or getting tortured. Take it easy, go for it, and enjoy!