The Myth of the Quality Woman

[STR8UP]

My own mother is the model, of what I think is a 100% QUALITY WOMAN. She has no addictive personality, is smart, wealthy, and wise. If anything- I pattern all women after her. So far, none has even come close. I realize my chance of finding a woman with her virtues....is like winning the lottery.

I'm with you.

I get all of my best qualities from my mom. Numerous people who work with her have told me how great of a person she is.

My dad recently told me that the first time he saw my mom he pointed to her and said "That's the girl I'm gonna marry".

I would be willing to bet that back then it was a bit easier to find what you are looking for in a woman. Late 60's and beyond....that's when everything started going to crap.

 

[STR8UP]

women like your mother use to be everywhere. they use to be the norm.

now 90% of the chics idolize madonna and britney spears - the poster childs of dysfunctional female behavior.

Isn't it crazy how over the course of one generation things have changed so much?

I've always said that I think I would have had a better life had I been born a little earlier. like my parents or even my grandparents generation.

The person I am would have been appreciated that much more by people back in the day.

 

[jophil28]

.. from what I've seen most men try to act with some honor and say what they mean, mean what they say. I think women just take lacking integrity to a whole other level.

Women do not have the same ethical priorities as men .

Men of my age still have a lot of our "good ole dad's" values
"A man's word is his bond "
" Say what you mean and mean what you say"
" Lateness is disrespectful"
"Love people and use things "
" Do unto others as you would ..."
" Know when to speak, and when to be silent"
" Keep your promises or don't make them"
.................

I see a lot of these principles OCCASIONALLY being broken or discarded by men and ALL of them broken by modern women daily. NO wonder we have problems with "the ladies"..
Women always have had their self interest as their priority . However my mother ensured her survival by being in a Marriage and working hard to be a mother and a wife to my father.
Modern women , on the other hand, do not seem to want to CONTRIBUTE . Women act out of immediate gratification and emotional convenience .They have this bloated sense of ENTITLEMENT - no wonder they act like they do. They seem to believe that they can do whatever they want and if they are called on it they find some illogic to draw on to justify their behavior.
How many of you have ever had a sincere apology from a woman.
(NOte that I used the adjective "sincere " ? )

My 3 centavo

 

[joekerr31]

Isn't it crazy how over the course of one generation things have changed so much?

I've always said that I think I would have had a better life had I been born a little earlier. like my parents or even my grandparents generation.

The person I am would have been appreciated that much more by people back in the day.

well back in the day what people respected was hard work and whether you were a man of your word etc.

today all anyone cares aobut is image and bling bling. status - are you cool?

women use to look for a man they could build a future with. now most women just try to get a guy based on how high on the social status ladder he 'appears' to be.

yes, things are worse than before. but there are pockets out there where things are actually better. i think a high quality woman today is almost better than a woman of yesturyear. she is more sexual, she understands the stresses of the work place and being a bread winner, etc.

a woman today actually has the potential to be a true mate to her man - 50/50 sharing in the life they are living. that wasn't possible back in the day.

so while it is mostly falling to sh*t everywhere you look, there are nuggest of gold out there still be found.

 

[STR8UP]

Joe....I agree. And it goes right along with the idea that the right woman will make your life infinitely better, and the wrong one will do exactly the opposite. I don't think there's much in between.

 

[joekerr31]

Joe....I agree. And it goes right along with the idea that the right woman will make your life infinitely better, and the wrong one will do exactly the opposite. I don't think there's much in between.

there was a quote i read like 10 years ago and its always stuck with me. it said 'who you marry will determine 90% of your happiness in life."

i agree with it. while we are all responsible for our own happiness, if you marry the wrong woman she is goign to take your happiness, stick it up her p*ssy and use it as a tampon, then when she's done with it she will toss it in the toilet and flush it down the drain.

be very very very careful who you marry. but at the same time, don't be paranoid that every chic is going to con you and rip your heart out down the road. some women are just like us men and they would LOVE to find a caring loving healthy relationship.

 

[STR8UP]

be very very very careful who you marry. but at the same time, don't be paranoid that every chic is going to con you and rip your heart out down the road. some women are just like us men and they would LOVE to find a caring loving healthy relationship.

It's just kind of hard NOT to be a cynical, jaded bastard when 99% of your experiences with women have ended by you getting screwed one way or another.

 

[joekerr31]

It's just kind of hard NOT to be a cynical, jaded bastard when 99% of your experiences with women have ended by you getting screwed one way or another.

agreed.

and while this is kind of off in left field, this is why im soooo adamant that men develop life philosophies. that men develop the highest level of happiness they can that is independent of whether a woman is in their life or not.

being happy on your own is like invicible armor. no one can ever hurt. you become free to screw aroudn with anyone, to love as much as you want, and if it doesn't work out, thats ok. its not the end of the world.

i think with you str8up, and just my opinion from afar, is that one day you are goign to be back on yoru feet running a highly successful business. and when you hit your stride you are going to be full of self confidence and happiness. and when that happens, you will be the master over all women. and thats probably when you will find the woman for you.

 

[jophil28]

...some women are just like us men and they would LOVE to find a caring loving healthy relationship.

That is true - most women DO want a caring healthy relationship - the problem is that their definition of such a relationship has changed .
Now it seems to be this --
" I want a loving relationship with a devoted man BUT i do not want to contribute to it like my Mom did. I want a magic carpet ride. I want a man to pay for it and provide for me BUT I do not want to be accountable or obligated to him."

WE perceive that women are "low quality" today because of the
self-centeredness that feminism ,and the matrix, has promoted, encouraged ,and fostered in them. When was the last time that you heard feminist propaganda include and encourage selfless contribution by women as a virtue..

 

[Bonhomme]

Joekerr makes a great point in that the effects of the media have "amped up" the superficiality of people.

Were people really any better in the "good old days"?

I don't think so. Slavery, burning witches, etc., and more recently lynchings and "Jim Crow laws" (which are sadly making a comeback in a much more subtle way as of late). The "good old days" weren't all that good.

But the media has skewed people's perception of reality. I see hit here when guys refer to a woman who would probably in fact be among the top 10 percentile in appearance if a typical sample of men rated the appearance of a typical sample of women of the same age referred to as "a 6 or 7". If you're accustomed to seeing actresses and models ...

Furthermore, the constant bombardment of advertising has conditioned people to want more right from young.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Again, let me repeat, beware of making your necessity a virtue. Quality implies value and value is always perceptive, not objective. If your most dire personal need is a fork and all you have in the drawer are knives and spoons, that fork is worth lots more.

For all the self-righteous indignation about how women have dropped the ethics ball or aren't living up to what we think they should, how much of this perception is simply us suiting ourselves according to our own conditions. What is a Quality woman? One who complicitly agrees with our take on things or one who challenges us to be better men? We'd like nothing more than the perfect wife and mother for our kids with undying devotion and unconditional love, but she's gotta look like a fitness America winner and ƒuck like Jenna Jameson. The housewife/slut is a Quality woman so long as she's loyal.

All of this sounds a lot like the "you can have it all" paradox that the Today's Woman crowd sells women now, just for men.

 

[Bonhomme]

Gonna be honest with you. I think this statement is sad, as well as your thread title. I personally know at least a few beautiful, high quality women. There are people with integrity out there; men and women.

Azanon makes a good point here.

A lot of it has to do with perception, though. There's clearly an element of whether one sees the glass as "half empty" or "half full."

I'm very much a relativist. Everybody's human. Again, I think the key is to be involved with someone whose qualities are complementary with yours to a good degree.

 

[Colossus]

I'm very much a relativist. Everybody's human. Again, I think the key is to be involved with someone whose qualities are complementary with yours to a good degree.

Great point.

I have to stand on the side that labeling a woman as 'quality' or not can be a convienient mechanism for ignoring your own misgivings. It is easy to take your own lack of understanding in dealing with women and the difficulties it creates and simply project that onto a given woman (or women), saying they are 'low quality'. It alleviates you of the responsibility you have to change your perspective.

It has been said a hundred times already, but quality is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

This is a very good post, although I'm joining in rather late. But a lot of what you guys have written made me remember what the 35 year old woman who I met at my gym almost two years ago today did to me when she realized I had developed oneitis on her. When things got sour and I started to realize who she was in reality, she brought the other guy she was seeing to the gym to see if she could provoke me. They swam together, etc. and she got him to join the gym so that every now and then they work out together. But I know I deserve a lot better and I have since moved on, so when I do see them, I don't give them any attention.

 

[ketostix]

Great point.

I have to stand on the side that labeling a woman as 'quality' or not can be a convienient mechanism for ignoring your own misgivings. It is easy to take your own lack of understanding in dealing with women and the difficulties it creates and simply project that onto a given woman (or women), saying they are 'low quality'. It alleviates you of the responsibility you have to change your perspective.

It has been said a hundred times already, but quality is in the eye of the beholder.

So as long as you have no objective standards or expectations for a woman, you won't be dissapointed? And as long as you perceive just about anything as quality, you won't lack for a quality woman?

Deciding if a woman is quality or not isn't necessarily a black or white, binary decision, all though there is a transition point, it's a continuum or bell curve.

 

[jophil28]

Again, let me repeat, beware of making your necessity a virtue. Quality implies value and value is always perceptive, not objective. If your most dire personal need is a fork and all you have in the drawer are knives and spoons, that fork is worth lots more.

For all the self-righteous indignation about how women have dropped the ethics ball or aren't living up to what we think they should, how much of this perception is simply us suiting ourselves according to our own conditions.

Perhaps you are confusing "value" with "performance". Most certainly value is perceptive and very much subject to personal taste and the requirements of one's changing conditions ,but where is the problem with that?
My automotive needs in my early twenties were rather primitive. My car of choice simply needed to drive fast, in a straight line and stop when asked to do so. It had value to me because it performed the tasks required. A 4 door sedan with a hot 454 and 4 wheels did the trick . However older men were buying themselves that dark blue,imported, and beautiful Mercedes Benz , made in Germany and built to exquisite standards of engineering excellence.
Young men like me aspired to own such a vehicle "some day" ..but in the meantime that Chev was fun and functional.

Now thirty years later my automobile requirements are more complex and more sophisticated. That noisy Chevvy with a front bench seat and a stick would be no longer be fun NOR would it be functional because MY requirements have matured.
Nowadays I want that Merc, with a reliable engine and finely designed and manufactured electrics .
Standards are measured and assessed thru performance testing, and not from consumer ratings .
UNfortunately it is difficult to find that Merc today because the vehicles are NOt made in the original factory. They are assembled in various countries using local labor and asian parts. The standard of engineering has dropped and the subsequent 'performance' as fallen. However to some people the 'value' of owning a Merc remains the same despite the changed manufacturing circimstances.
Certainly MY conditions have changed and my requirements are more stringent , however, it is frustrating to discover that the car of my dreams is not made anymore. I can buy a close copy or an asian clone of a Merc, but I want an original, dammit ! Why? Because of it's excellent build standards, and it's functional PERFORMANCE, not it's "perceived value"

I acknowledge that women are not automobiles, but now that I really want a high performance woman as well as a high performance car, I am left lamenting the fact that neither are built to the standards of the past and neither PERFORM like they used to . THis is not perception it is an evaluative fact.
Both LOOK attractive which gives them market APPEAL and therefore "perceived value", but the performance is just not there. IT just ain't..

 

[STR8UP]

For all the self-righteous indignation about how women have dropped the ethics ball or aren't living up to what we think they should, how much of this perception is simply us suiting ourselves according to our own conditions.

I'm not sure I'm following you here. Would you care to elaborate?

 

[Interceptor]

He is eloquenlty wording it as what's called a "cop out".

 

[STR8UP]

agreed.

and while this is kind of off in left field, this is why im soooo adamant that men develop life philosophies. that men develop the highest level of happiness they can that is independent of whether a woman is in their life or not.

being happy on your own is like invicible armor. no one can ever hurt. you become free to screw aroudn with anyone, to love as much as you want, and if it doesn't work out, thats ok. its not the end of the world.

I think most of the people on this board are light years ahead of the general population when it comes to understanding that happiness doesn't come from anything or anyONE but YOURSELF.

Life can throw you some curves from time to time, and when it does it just makes you see that much more clearly that you are truly alone. Women may come through your life and provide a temporary "high", but it's how you deal with things when she's gone that determines your overall well being.

i think with you str8up, and just my opinion from afar, is that one day you are goign to be back on yoru feet running a highly successful business. and when you hit your stride you are going to be full of self confidence and happiness. and when that happens, you will be the master over all women. and thats probably when you will find the woman for you.

I appreciate the encouraging words.

Honestly though.....I have resolved myself to the idea that I might never find that woman who has the potential to make my life better. And that's what it's about, isn't it? Finding (or stumbling upon) a woman who isn't going to give you a temporary "fix", but one who can improve your life for a long time to come.

I really, truly believe that these women are SO rare, that the odds of finding more than a few of them in your lifetime are slim.

I think I had one about 10 years ago, but I wasn't ready for her. And although she married the next guy (just like they all do!) i don't believe SHE was ready either. She was 20, I was 25-26. Even if I WAS ready it probably would have ended since she was so young.

So there are lots of things that are working against you when it comes to finding a woman to compliment your life.

The majority of men settle, and I'll die before I do that.

Who knows though.....maybe I'll be like my dad and one day I will be at a friend's birthday party and look across the room and see the girl I just know I am going to marry, she will turn out to be a good woman, and I will spend the next 40 years being a pain in her ass.

Who knows

 

[STR8UP]

He is eloquenlty wording it as what's called a "cop out".

Thats kind of what I was getting, but I'm still not 100% clear.