The Myth of Chad (Who Has a Thousand Lays)

[andreihaha]

It's funny to me how most guys on this forum really fall for this "Myth of the Chad" at some point in time.
They try to replicate the success other men have, but without the same attributes. Out of which the most important one might be the quality of the natural seducer.

No matter what they're missing, the track is pretty much the same:
-depression caused by lack of succes with women and jealousy on successful guys;
-idealizing some Chad figure and trying to replicate some of his traits(more often easier ones to obtain);
-starting to have a little more success with women as a result of improving their own value;
-possibly reaching the cap of having 2-3-4 prospects at once;
-choosing one of these women(or getting chosen by her) and settling for a LTR;
-slowly regressing to the initial level by not continuing to improve, getting lazy since they're single no more;
-getting dumped by woman by lowering their value or leaving her when realizing you're too different, because you weren't honest in the first stage;
-not being able to find someone else fast; again mild depression and comming back to this forum, let's say;

And then the cycle repeats.

My bottom line: If you're not a natural, the only way to have long-term success is to continue to improve 'till the day you die.
Getting lazy and sloppy takes you back to step one, and you're always getting older.
If there are Chads out there, forget about them and stop comparing yourself to them. You'll never be that guy. But you might become the best version of yourself. And that version might be a lot better/happier.

The key is always in your hands. Choose wisely.

 

[zekko]

"A woman will either find you attractive or not" - That's concerning yourself with her opinion. What part is more important is if you find her attractive....and if she is able to sustain your attraction.

For me at least, if she wants to sustain my attraction, she is going to have to find me attractive. Because she has to be high interest to sustain my attraction, that's a hugely important factor. A lot of these PUA tropes are somewhat contradictory.

 

[Snag87]

I’d say if you are a single guy and have 5-10 flings a year you are top 1% of men. Some guys don’t even get 5 in a lifetime.

False. I've had that many and I'm nowhere near top 1%. Roughly 80th percentile

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Oh absolutely. Did you think these Instagram models sleep with celebrities and athletes Pro Bono?
They get flown out, and at the least get a shopping spree for their troubles.

You take her on dates, spend time with her, text her.. I snap my fingers and say be here tomorrow ready to s*ck my d*ck, give her some pocket change and send her back home and ignore her till I’m bored again so you can try to woo her..

Who’s the alpha in that situation?

Whilst I agree with most of Cola’s posts, this is wrong.
Banging a girl that has no genuine desire for you is as Beta as it gets.
In that scenario, the guy woo’ing her is more Alpha, because he is spending time with someone attracted to him (for his game, feels, whatever). The guy paying is Beta; because he is implying he needs to overcompensate for what another man gets for free. It also shows scarcity and lack of self respect.
Validation sex trumps transactional sex, it’s not about the lack of ‘effort’. For example, stealing a Rolex is quicker and less effort than studying many years to afford it, but the later is more alpha, more high value and more internally rewarding.

 

[Plinco]

Whilst I agree with most of Cola’s posts, this is wrong.
Banging a girl that has no genuine desire for you is as Beta as it gets.

People use the terms 'alpha' and 'beta' to promote whatever concept. More specifically paying for sex is materiel transactional sex, and is beta in the context of beta bux.

Validation sex trumps transactional sex, it’s not about the lack of ‘effort’. For example, stealing a Rolex is quicker and less effort than studying many years to afford it, but the later is more alpha, more high value and more internally rewarding.

Correct. You sound like a less intelligent version of Pan87 though.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

People use the terms 'alpha' and 'beta' to promote whatever concept. More specifically paying for sex is materiel transactional sex, and is beta in the context of beta bux.



Correct. You sound like a less intelligent version of Pan87 though.

I am a less intelligent version of Pan87. That’s literally why your wife calls me Pan86

 

[Plinco]

I am a less intelligent version of Pan87. That’s literally why your wife calls me Pan86

hahaha good one
+1

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Cola is making the mistake of assuming that ‘effort’ = ‘investment’, which is more a reflection of his personality. The two are not correlated.

A guy can appear to bring giving effort by wooing, texting loads, going on creatives dates etc, yet deep down still be totally indifferent to the woman.

The best seducers are like this. Indifference is not a behaviour (eg ‘act uninterested’) but it is an internal state. You can be texting a girl 12 hours a day and still be indifferent, if that’s how you usually behave with women. A guy paying for sex however is not indifferent. He wants to make it work with that specific girl.

The best players I’ve met are wired like this. They have this advantage from birth; they’re just a little more emotionally ‘hard’. They are resilient to external feedback. They dont get excited easily...even from childhood. Their internal state is dull/unimaginative. They are the opposite of ‘empaths’/HSP…and their brute, steady force leads to results.
To a more sensitive feeler type, sending texts and going on dates will ‘feel’ like investing effort, because he is over analytical and internally anxious whenever he makes effort (eg Every minute he’s checking his phone for a reply to his so called indifferent ‘feeler’ text). Putting in effort to court a girl does not imply the man feels any neuroticism during the process.

The best seducers I know are aware of female psychology, yet externally still play the game in a fairly normal way. This is the best way to manipulate a manipulator. Law 48 - ‘Think as You Like but Behave Like Others’.

Knowledge of female psychology should simply ‘free’ you by reducing your neuroticism when playing the game…it doesn’t necessarily change how you play the game.
The richest person in the room isn’t necessarily behaving much different to everyone else…he just lacks the neuroticism about money which most people have, which manifests in the most subtle nuanced ways…for example laughing when he spills his coffee on a shirt rather than getting agitated.
And that’s how the best seducers I know behave. On paper they do all the same things the average guys do, they go on dates, dress well, text the girl to built rapport etc…. their understanding of the game just manifests in nuances - mainly in their internal responses (or lack thereof) when things are going well or badly.

The only real ‘external’ difference that chads have from average guys is that they are usually markedly more masculine in body language, dress and voice/speech patterns (usually speaking less, shorter sentences and more directly)…the best way to gain this is by hanging around masculine men.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Also a high lay count isn't the aim.
Having multiple plates that are 8’s+ is the sexual strategy of high status men.
Throughout history that’s how it’s been. Polygamy not ONS was the mark of a high status male.
You see it with guys like Dicaprio, Tiger woods etc.
ONS usually involves, alcohol, risk, regret, clumsy sex, unattractive women and wasting time that could be spent making money

 

[Bigpapa]

Also a high lay count isn't the aim.
Having multiple plates that are 8’s+ is the sexual strategy of high status men.
Throughout history that’s how it’s been. Polygamy not ONS was the mark of a high status male.
You see it with guys like Dicaprio, Tiger woods etc.
ONS usually involves, alcohol, risk, regret, clumsy sex, unattractive women and wasting time that could be spent making money

good insight

 

[Bingo-Player]

Chad is just the guy that gets the right girl , in the right place at the right time

that is literally it , anyone can be "chad" at anytime because we know full well a woman will fvck on a whim

The guy who is made to wait through the dating process hears about another guy getting it straight away and thinks he is doing something wrong , he isn't he's just in the wrong frame with her

In the summer i had a 4 some with a Hb7 & Hb8 ......HB 8 literally looked like a barbie doll the kind of girl most guys will simp hard over if they are into that sort of thing

I'm not kidding it took me and my mate less than 2 hours to secure the bag so to speak

We were in the right place at the right time that was it.....

Last month i meet a young HB 7 in a bar , she's drunk and in the right time she is DTF but because of logistics i can't make it happen that night

The week after HB 7 then goes cold and tries to drag me into a dating process talk of sex is now non existent and probably will be until i complete x amount of dates .....i recognised this and ghosted her

I class myself as well experienced with women and i can promise you there is no magic chad spell she is either DTF or she isn't and her attitude towards this constantly fluctuates , i agree for some girls the final decision may vary depending on you physicality or "smv" but the good news is that there's 3 billion women on the planet so just try another one until you get lucky

Guys get too hung up on one girl , girls know this and play it to their advantage they know they can go and fvck "chad" and the hung up guy will still be there ......"chad " is invented by men not by women

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

No one here is a Chad. Chad has never had to resort to internet for dating advice.

 

[Bingo-Player]

No one here is a Chad. Chad has never had to resort to internet for dating advice.

A lot of men wouldn't go on the internet for dating advice full stop ......they wouldn't even talk amongst each other out of fear of being ridiculed

that's just a male societal issue not a chad issue

Don't you find it odd Nearly every guy comes on here with the same story or some variation of the same story

Happens far too often for it to be coincidence , any guy outside of top 10% of males on the planet will have experienced some form of female nonsense in their lives it's just whether they choose to discuss it or not

 

[Bigpapa]

A lot of men wouldn't go on the internet for dating advice full stop ......they wouldn't even talk amongst each other out of fear of being ridiculed

that's just a male societal issue not a chad issue

Don't you find it odd Nearly every guy comes on here with the same story or some variation of the same story

Happens far too often for it to be coincidence , any guy outside of top 10% of males on the planet will have experienced some form of female nonsense in their lives it's just whether they choose to discuss it or not

even those in the top 10%

 

[andreihaha]

even those in the top 10%

Yeah, most times that's what puts guys through the struggle of getting into top 10%.

 

[Barrister]

No one here is a Chad. Chad has never had to resort to internet for dating advice.

People can be here at this point and not be seeking advice. A lot of us genuinely enjoy talking about game, lay reports, dissecting different scenarios with the other guys, etc. Whether you are a member of this forum or not is hardly indicative of how much success you have with women. There are some great DJs here that have a lot of success with women.

 

[Barrister]

I think his point was that "chad" is a natural who wouldn't have thought to even search out a seduction site. I'm sure there's quite a few don juans on here who have their game tight enough to compete with "chad".

Perhaps. But I have seen this type of response in the past by a variety of posters. "Why should I listen to you? If you were so successful with women you wouldn't be on a dating/game site in the first place!" It is a straw man argument and fallacy all at once. Short-sighted, because there is a lot of good stuff here from many different posters.

 

[2Rocky]

Most often, guys will up their level of seduction ability , improve their looks, their social skills and land the "Hottest girl of their life". Then they go monogamous and forget what attracted her in the first place... I'm guilty of that....

Remember we go through stages. similar to the stages of hunters...
As a hunter gains experience and skill, studies have shown that he or she will typically pass through five distinct stages of development. Keep in mind, however, that not everyone passes through all of these stages, nor do they necessarily do it in the same order.
The five stages of hunter development are:

• Shooting Stage
  • The priority is getting off a shot, rather than patiently waiting for a good shot. This eagerness to shoot can lead to bad decisions that endanger others. A combination of target practice and mentoring helps most hunters move quickly out of this stage.
• Limiting-Out Stage
  • Success is determined by bagging the limit. In extreme cases, this need to limit out also can cause hunters to take unsafe shots. Spending time with more mature hunters helps people grow out of this phase.
• Trophy Stage
  • The hunter is selective and judges success by quality rather than quantity. Typically, the focus is on big game. Anything that doesn’t measure up to the desired trophy is ignored.
• Method Stage
  • In this stage, the process of hunting becomes the focus. A hunter may still want to limit out but places a higher priority on how it’s accomplished.
• Sportsman Stage
  • Success is measured by the total experience—the appreciation of the out-of-doors and the animal being hunted, the process of the hunt, and the companionship of other hunters.

 

[Barrister]

Most often, guys will up their level of seduction ability , improve their looks, their social skills and land the "Hottest girl of their life". Then they go monogamous and forget what attracted her in the first place... I'm guilty of that....

Remember we go through stages. similar to the stages of hunters...
As a hunter gains experience and skill, studies have shown that he or she will typically pass through five distinct stages of development. Keep in mind, however, that not everyone passes through all of these stages, nor do they necessarily do it in the same order.
The five stages of hunter development are:

• Shooting Stage
  • The priority is getting off a shot, rather than patiently waiting for a good shot. This eagerness to shoot can lead to bad decisions that endanger others. A combination of target practice and mentoring helps most hunters move quickly out of this stage.
• Limiting-Out Stage
  • Success is determined by bagging the limit. In extreme cases, this need to limit out also can cause hunters to take unsafe shots. Spending time with more mature hunters helps people grow out of this phase.
• Trophy Stage
  • The hunter is selective and judges success by quality rather than quantity. Typically, the focus is on big game. Anything that doesn’t measure up to the desired trophy is ignored.
• Method Stage
  • In this stage, the process of hunting becomes the focus. A hunter may still want to limit out but places a higher priority on how it’s accomplished.
• Sportsman Stage
  • Success is measured by the total experience—the appreciation of the out-of-doors and the animal being hunted, the process of the hunt, and the companionship of other hunters.

Love it. As a fairly new-ish hunter myself I appreciate this analogy.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Perhaps. But I have seen this type of response in the past by a variety of posters. "Why should I listen to you? If you were so successful with women you wouldn't be on a dating/game site in the first place!" It is a straw man argument and fallacy all at once. Short-sighted, because there is a lot of good stuff here from many different posters.