The mother of my child contacts me after 3 years.

[Warrior74]

I got an email from her today asking how I was doing, she heard that I have been sick and dealing with some serious health problems. I am not fooled at all. Her mother has betrayed her confidence (or played her role in the plan) and has told me that she's trying to leave her fiance. her mother can't stand the guy. He's trash plain and simple.

The thing I heard from her was her yelling at me on the phone "If you want to see your daughter again, don't call me, call my mother or my boyfriend".

At the time I was ready to go fvcking ballistic because they were playing games with my visitation. But after some personal threats to her ghetto ass boyfriend and having the court threaten her with jail time for violating our custody agreement, they eventually decided to act like adults. Now her boyfriend calls me and sets up the pick up for my daughter. Apparently he was jealous that I have a decent job and come from a decent family. It probably didn't help that she told him that I was the love of her life and she messed it all up and ran me off. Jealous guy, won't let her have my number in her phone (like she doesn't have it memorized).

Anyway, back to my cheating, lying, drug snorting ex. I really hope she doesn't think that I would EVER take her back. It's never gonna happen. Plus she got fat. But in order to keep seeing my daughter with the least amount of drama, I'll be civil on email. It just pisses me off that she emails me out the blue like she never did anything wrong. She's emailed me twice today, and I've responded with short terse replies. I've gotten used to not talking to her, because she's an idiot. At least her mother does what I tell her with no argument or backtalk or questions. If she starts some sh1t, I'll just tell her jealous boyfriend that she's been emailing me at work and she needs to stop. LOL Just had to rant and get it off my chest.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

Hang in there, I have friends with similar awful situations and can empathize. Mitigate and move forward!

 

[BeyondCharm]

Yea man hang in there, relax and breathe. You will probably have to only spend very limited amounts of time confronting her. Relaxed awareness is the key to surviving most confrontations, even the really annoying ones.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Warrior,
For your little girls sake hang in there.....Remember if you stay consistent that kid will eventually come to you....Stay sweet with your Mother in Law,kids pay more attention to Grandparents than to their own parents,this Old Lady may well be the bollard of decency that your little girl will lock on to.

 

[DMSR76]

I feel for you, man. It's unfortunate that you'll have deal with this woman in some way, shape, or form for the rest of your lives. Beyond a certain age, women with character issues tend to retain those issues for good.

Hang in there.

 

[jonwon]

I got an email from her today asking how I was doing, she heard that I have been sick and dealing with some serious health problems. I am not fooled at all. Her mother has betrayed her confidence (or played her role in the plan) and has told me that she's trying to leave her fiance. her mother can't stand the guy. He's trash plain and simple.

The thing I heard from her was her yelling at me on the phone "If you want to see your daughter again, don't call me, call my mother or my boyfriend".

At the time I was ready to go fvcking ballistic because they were playing games with my visitation. But after some personal threats to her ghetto ass boyfriend and having the court threaten her with jail time for violating our custody agreement, they eventually decided to act like adults. Now her boyfriend calls me and sets up the pick up for my daughter. Apparently he was jealous that I have a decent job and come from a decent family. It probably didn't help that she told him that I was the love of her life and she messed it all up and ran me off. Jealous guy, won't let her have my number in her phone (like she doesn't have it memorized).

Anyway, back to my cheating, lying, drug snorting ex. I really hope she doesn't think that I would EVER take her back. It's never gonna happen. Plus she got fat. But in order to keep seeing my daughter with the least amount of drama, I'll be civil on email. It just pisses me off that she emails me out the blue like she never did anything wrong. She's emailed me twice today, and I've responded with short terse replies. I've gotten used to not talking to her, because she's an idiot. At least her mother does what I tell her with no argument or backtalk or questions. If she starts some sh1t, I'll just tell her jealous boyfriend that she's been emailing me at work and she needs to stop. LOL Just had to rant and get it off my chest.

It's great when you bump into an ex and see she has piled on the pounds.

 

[wjh]

It's great when you bump into an ex and see she has piled on the pounds.

Speaking of that - I've seen exes that I was totally AFC over. It's funny how a couple of years out of the matrix can really change how you feel about them.

I mean the last couple exes that I've seen were not as hot as my emotional AFC nonsense would have led me to believe.

Although one of my exes had insane legs that I've yet to enjoy from another girl (she was a 5'10 college tennis player).

 

[sodbuster]

Still got to do it for another 4 1/2 years,so I feel your pain. Mine was a cluster B control freak. STILL trying to control me

 

[Amazing]

Things like this are why I can't see myself down the road with even the coolest of girls. Damn you sosuave and the crazy stories you guys write here.

 

[Warrior74]

Yah. I'll be cool. She was the chic who exposed the chump in me. At the end the only thing I could do to retain any sense of diginity was to walk away, but not from my child. The fact that it still bothers me, bothers me.

 

[backbreaker]

I don't like the way you are referring to her BF. What I mean by that is.. why do you give a damn? it's her decision and it's her life.

you have a child that should be your ONLY concern. **** him. If she wants to date men with questionable characters it's her prerogative.


This really gets to me becuase this to me is the number one issue we face today in america... kids getting caught in childish ass custody battles ("not saying you are being childish just in general) where the kid ultimately suffers and grows up to have low self esteem /abuse drugs/etc

when her BF give syou hell.. just think of your daughter 20 years from now and think where she will be if she does not have a positive male influence in her life. You NEED to be there.

 

[Warrior74]

I don't like the way you are referring to her BF. What I mean by that is.. why do you give a damn? it's her decision and it's her life.

you have a child that should be your ONLY concern. **** him. If she wants to date men with questionable characters it's her prerogative.


This really gets to me becuase this to me is the number one issue we face today in america... kids getting caught in childish ass custody battles ("not saying you are being childish just in general) where the kid ultimately suffers and grows up to have low self esteem /abuse drugs/etc

when her BF give syou hell.. just think of your daughter 20 years from now and think where she will be if she does not have a positive male influence in her life. You NEED to be there.

You really don't see the whole picture, nor did I plan to expose it, but trust me. It matters. Who your children are around on a daily basis influences them, where they live at influences them. What sort of children they play with influences them. I've had the joy of seeing it negatively impact my daughter over the last 3 years. If men are leaders in their home, what do you say when your child is living with someone who has poor leadership skills? 20 years from now is too ****ing late son. These are the years that count.


I'm out of post but I'll say this....

first of all you are very quick to judge. dude I have kids.

but at the same time you did decide to **** this woman and planted a seed in this woman, thereby signing having to deal with her character defects for the rest of her life

if you don't like the man she dates you shouldn't have ****ed her.

Now who's being quick to judge? Really dude? You sound 5 years old with that statement. People hide who they are, and people change. The person I met did not show me the person I deal with now until about 7 years down the road. So what? I should be happy about this sh!t? Grow the fvck up. You don't have all the information about anyone. And you're a fool if you think you do. How many cawks has your fiance sucked? How many did she swallow on? Spit? How many were her boyfriend? How many were one night stands? You know everything right? Bullsh1t.

Even her friends and family never saw this coming. Nobody saw this complete 180 in her behavior, again, you just don't know what you're talking about.

If I don't like the man she dates, I shouldnt have fvcked her? How does that even begin to make sense? So I'm responsible for her dating choices? Really? So every girl you dated is responsible for who you date now? It's their fault, they shouldn't have fvcked you? Your baby mama is responsible for who you date now? That's how that works? Dude, they got a class in college, it's called Logical Reasoning 101. Fix up. You teach your kid with that logic?

 

[backbreaker]

You really don't see the whole picture, nor did I plan to expose it, but trust me. It matters. Who your children are around on a daily basis influences them, where they live at influences them. What sort of children they play with influences them. I've had the joy of seeing it negatively impact my daughter over the last 3 years. If men are leaders in their home, what do you say when your child is living with someone who has poor leadership skills? 20 years from now is too ****ing late son. These are the years that count.

first of all you are very quick to judge. dude I have kids.

but at the same time you did decide to **** this woman and planted a seed in this woman, thereby signing having to deal with her character defects for the rest of her life

if you don't like the man she dates you shouldn't have ****ed her.

If my fiancee left tomorrow and started dating a coke snorting loser ... and got custody of joe, there isn't jack **** I can do about it, becuase I knew enough about her and her character defects and her strong point to make a decision to have a child with the woman. I"m not saying that IS a character defect of hers, I'm pointing out that I have, or let me put it this way.. it's YOUR decision toh ave all the information about this woman, before you planted the seed in her.

It's like the client who hires a web company to do a web page for them, only to find out they aren't really good ASP.NET programmers and you really wanted the site in ASP.NET but all they have are PHP programmers and you didn't bother to ask. they aren't doing anything wrong by doing what they do. You are in the wrong for not gathering the correct information.

I have one child, my son joe.

i dated a girl about 5 years ago who I got pregnant.. and I convinced her to get an abortion, for this very reason. while I dated her.. her character defects were just too obvious. extremely lazy, didn't want to do **** with her life....just a bunch of **** i wasn't going to put up with, and when she resolved to change I left.

 

[Cure]

Hang in there mate, Im in a similar situation to you, it sucks.
Just ignore her except to be civil, I doubt she expects you to get back with her, just wants to fvck with your head.

Cure.

 

[princelydeeds]

I am in a very similar situation. When my daughters mother came back around, she was WAAAAY nicer and had mellowed out a ton. Honestly, I am happy that chose to treat her nicely, NOT TOO NICE, but in a guarded but pleasant and civil manner. It has made my life easier, not having to fight with her. I don't stay on the phone too long, I don't kiss her ass, and I don't ask her for permission. I am civil, polite and pleasant. MY being nice and accepting her being nice in return, has helped, me, her and most importantly my daughter. Just a thought.