The Most Painless Way to Get Rid of an Oneitis

[AFK Protector]

This may seem confusing at first, but then so simple. I did this today, after confronting my oneitis of 4 years.

As you may, or may not know, she recently broke it off with her boyfriend of 2 years. I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions thinking whether or not I should move in and bag her. On one hand, I had a really great girl, but on the other hand I had her boyfriend, who was miserable. On one hand, I had a really great girl who has already taken and will take up more of my time, but on the other hand I had my dreams and goals that needed the same time.

On one hand, I had a really great girl who didn't even like me, but on the other hand, I now had the answer.
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You see, I went through YEARS of toil and sh1t for this girl. She hooked up and I felt pain. She broke up and I felt confused. He blatant kissing and hugging and touching with her BF made my stomach hurt and head reel in pain. I was a super AFC in pain. And I knew I had to do something about it.

So I found this site and moved on with my life....

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....or so I thought. After half a year of avoiding her and shunning her, I felt a lot better. However, this couldn't be a long term solution. I moved on with my life as a confident person on the outside. But on the inside, I was an emotional wreck. I knew I liked...dare I say...loved? her...but I knew it could never happen because she had a BF. It was a constant battle between my optimism and pessimism.

"She likes you!"
"You don't have a chance! wia.t...maybe you do.."
"OMG SHE LIKES YOU1!"
"ahh...you got a slim chance man..."

I discovered the source of my problems: the hope constant.

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THE HOPE CONSTANT

Us former nice guys have been victims of the hope constant. What is it? Well, you're always hoping she will like you being too much of a pvssy to see if it were true. We're stuck in this oneitis business because we are always HOPING she will like us and HOPING for a future that will have something along the lines of you fvcking her silly. But it was just hoping. Nothing more, nothing less.

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From the hope constant, I derived the solution tonight. You must eliminate the hope constant...you must destroy your chances.

So, I was on AIM (yeah, so what. don't act like you don't use it lol), and she signs on. So I go do my business, come back a few hours later and she's still on. So I just say hi. She says hi back and I go, "what's up in your life these days." So she goes..."I'm pretty busy."

In the past, I would say, "oh...like what?"

but today, I realized it was ******** for, "leave me the fvck alone."

I used my awesome linguistic skills and decifered this subtle rejection. So I signed off and left. Not in shame or defeat, but in the freedom of my soul.

To solidify my claim, I asked her: How do you feel about me?

She replied: well, you're a nice guy AFK. cya.


Some of you may feel like my approach was AFC...like I was goign to share my feelings with her. But I made her do it. She didn't feel anything. I was working too hard for her. No woman deserves that. She had no interest, but plenty of other girls did, so I moved on with my life. And I hope I helped you here so you can too.

Detachment...ganjii....all that stuff could work for you. But for me, and hopefully many of you, this approach will end your oneitis woes quickly and relatively painlessly. In fact, it could even result in a more positive result, although being freed from the bonds of a woman is a pleasing result in itself.

Please give feedback and props or whatever. This is only a theory. Things I have thought were final solutions in the past were not for the status quo was ever changing. Thanks for reading.

 

[jakeyboy]

sounds good. but for some of us, the hope constant is a constant nightmare, try as we might, it is unriddable.

i've had the hope constant for one girl before... my exgirlfriend. i just could not accept the fact that she was no longer in my life... she was out... for good. so yeah. holding on to that flicker of hope was what you did right? hoping for the chance that someday you might sweep her off her feet and ride away on a stallion to your castle in the clouds. haha. we cant live in fairy tales. reality is harsh man.

if only dreams could be our reality.

 

[AFK Protector]

Yeah. I just asked her about it point-blank and she was like, "ahhh...no I'm not interested right now." Now this was ******** for "I don't like you." I guess it's because I've been thinking about it for such a long time, and just accepted it. But for others, esp. those with fresh oneitis's, their denial might be too strong for this method.

 

[AFK Protector]

Yo 105 people have read this post, and jakey is the only one who has the balls to state his opinion? If it's bad, just say it's bad and I will learn from that. If it's good, say it's good so I can also learn from that. JUST GIVE ME SOME GODDAM FEEDBACK PLEASE!

thank you gentlemen.

 

[littleweasel22]

You definantely could be on to some thing with this hope constant. Because really it's the fact that we MAY have some chance down the line so we don't want to give up. But if we just accpet that we have no hope with this girl (i know it sounds bad but it may be true) its so much easier to get over her and find someone better. I will definately be putting this to use soon. Good advice.

The Weasel

 

[The TallOne]

I'll throw my 2 cents in.

You can always hope for a future with a girl.. but do not stop your life just because of her.

You keep dating other girls... if she comes around (because of age/other reasons), then MAYBE you can pick her up.

People do change, espically at a early age... girls will have different feelings towards men overtime. Good, or bad.

I think the huge point though, is no matter what, date other people.

When that happens..

You lose your oneitis.
You might find someone who tickles your fancy BETTER than the last girl.

Its a sticky situation, because people have different theories/feelings towards how to handle this subject.

I would say... whatever you do, make sure YOU are the one that is happy, **** everyone else.

 

[AFK Protector]

Thanks for the comments, guys. I see all you needed was a little prodding to let your ideas flow. Tallone....yeah. My happiness is priority 1. f everything else.

 

[Kidd]

Good method.

This is how I see it: If a girl gives half a **** about you, she will ALWAYS contact you sooner or later. Always. If she never contacts you, she doesent care, even if she says otherwise. If she is actually worth any effort, I will be more agressive with her. If not, too bad for her.

 

[Black Casanova]

I didn't really have a problem with getting over my oneits, hence me not responding

 

[The TallOne]

Originally posted by Kidd
Good method.

This is how I see it: If a girl gives half a **** about you, she will ALWAYS contact you sooner or later. Always.

Girls have this internal timer that goes off when they haven't talked to you in about 3-4 weeks..

I dunno why, or how.. but it defintely works.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

The best method is to go find ten other women, and focus your efforts on them. I've been in the situation before, and I ignored her completely and then you get those haunting feelings of what could've been, and signals you missed, etc. But when you're going after another gurl, you stop and realize that the one-itis was completely purged from your system whenever you were going after another gurl so it wasn't as deep as u thought.

Getting closure also helps alot too

 

[AFK Protector]

Man, wtf she keeps calling me and hanging up...probably to apologize or some sh1t but lost the balls to do it. It's happened 4 times today. Well, I'm not gonna get sucked in cuz I know the truth now. thanks for the replies again. Mic Friend...I gotta find some other girls, but the hot ones are all hooked up! doh!

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by Don Rockstar
yes, ineed you did the right thing however..
i would have advised you to be more direct in your aproch
forget her.. plenty more girls with potential

Will do cap'n.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

AFK, I understand the philosophy to destroy your chances with her, but I don't see that in your AIM example. It seems to me that something clicked and you realized her subtle hint....you didn't really do anything to destroy your chances.

I've been having oneitis problems with this chick for about a year and a half now. Could you give me an example of what you would do, while demonstrating your philosophy?

Thanks.

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by idiot_boyfriend
AFK, I understand the philosophy to destroy your chances with her, but I don't see that in your AIM example. It seems to me that something clicked and you realized her subtle hint....you didn't really do anything to destroy your chances.

I've been having oneitis problems with this chick for about a year and a half now. Could you give me an example of what you would do, while demonstrating your philosophy?

Thanks.

Ahh yes. I didn't put out the whole convo because my memory wasn't at its best. However I can attempt to give you a clear example now.

What I'm trying to do it basically make her say how she feels about you. Possibly, a confession of her undyling love or a rejection. You heard me, I was looking for a rejection and I got it.

Let's just look at her as a normal girl and not your oneitis for a moment. If you asked a normal girl out, and she rejected you, what would you do? Probably move on and go for other girls right? That's what my philosophy is based on.

Notice, two things can happen. You either get rejected, like I did, or you hook up with her! Now, you gotta realize when she's feeding you ********. She basically called me a "nice guy" and left. That was a nice way of saying, "you're always there for me as a buddy, but I'll never see you romantically, cuz you're just a nice guy to me." If she calls you sweet, etc. then it's a rejection. Even if it's not, and she's considering you if her other plans fall through, consider it a lost cause anyways, cuz you're noone's "backup date."

Anyways, just get her isolated and ask her how she feels about you kinda jokingly, and if she doesn't give you a straight answer, get serious for a sec and she'll go all sweety sh1t on you. Then you get an answer from her. If she rejects you, well, you have no hope, you are crushed, but you are free.

Temporary pain for long term gain. It's worth it in my opinion. Now go out and get rejected by your oneitis and end this suffering once and for all!!!

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

Thank you for the clarification. Now I'll have to add to my To-Do-List for Monday.

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by idiot_boyfriend
Thank you for the clarification. Now I'll have to add to my To-Do-List for Monday.

Yo man. How'd it go? You can PM me if you want too.

 

[Sparkyy]

This is a good post I once heard on some film I think "hope, humanities greatest strength and yet humanities greatest weakness" and I think there may be some truth to this statement.
Hope is what probably brought us to this site. The hope that we could get that one-itis we had. Hope is what keeps us going that finally it will all click into place and we will become a better person. So sometimes hope can be a good thing.
Hope is also harmful though. Hope stops people from doing things. AFCs hope that the girl they "love" will suddenly tell him how much she loves him thus not trying anything. People hope that they will win the lottery thus not trying to get rich.
Hope is a powerful weapon and tool but is very harmful if used wrong. Hope blinds most people from the truth and keeps them under control in their lives of mediocrity. Good job on getting rid of your one-itis though it's harder to let go of someone you thought you "loved" than it seems.
I hope you can see the differance between good hope and bad hope. Good hope motivates you and bad hope stops you.

 

[AFK Protector]

Wow Sparky. You really understand this hope concept well. PEople should just skip my post and down to your concise one lol. But yes, that is a very good point. GOOD hope MOTIVATES. Don't go around losing all hope, but you must realize when something is already hopeless and cut your losses.

 

[RogueX]

This post is exactly what I needed. You might remember my post about finally getting a date. During the date she said "I don't usually get to go places with my friends". I can now see that for the major hint it was, I was in the Friend Zone all along.
The fact that she hasn't initiated a convo or even said hi to me in the month+ since our date has finally dawned on me (it would be stretch to call us friends). The light in her eyes doesn't shine on me. The salt in the wound is that she has a crush on my brother who she obviously doesn't know as well as I do (at school he has a false personality, he simply does what his friends do, but never to the same extent, he does nothing at home but watch TV).
All that means nothing to me now. Thanks to this post I can finally move on. As I write this I am finding peace. Now when I go back to school I don't have to worry about what she thinks. Obviously she doesn't really care what I do or say. I had it set in my mind that she was perfect, but now I see a major flaw. She can't tell ordinary from extraordinary, and extraordinary just left the building.


Sorry about the rambling but I sure do feel better.