The most demoralizing rejection to shake off

[icantgetlaid]

Coming out of a long term relationship, I found this forum, and have been implementing the advice in my new single/dating life. Results have been pretty good (have a few plates, been on some good/bad dates, etc.)

Anyway, I went on a first date with this girl this past Friday afternoon...I thought it went perfectly. The date went on for 4 hours, I was being ****y funny, saying whatever came to mind without hesitation (cracking sexual jokes, teasing her about her looks, etc.), she was laughing the whole time, we held hands for a while, i put my arm around her, kissed her in the middle of the date, and kissed her goodnight.

She didn't show any signs of low interest/pulling away/denying my advances etc. This date had all the signs of going perfectly.

So I let 3 days go by, never heard from her, so I thought I'd reach out and say hi/set up another date...

she straight up ignores my text (its been almost 24 hours now) ... this coming from a girl that always instant responded when I was trying to set up a date.

The worst kind of 'rejection' is when everything feels like it went perfectly -- all your intuition tells you that you nailed it -- and then you get the girl's cold shoulder anyway.

 

[loco]

Coming out of a LTR into a strong rejection will want to seem in your head like maybe you have a problem,but don't let it get to you,chalk it up to a good time and hold on because there will be others,there's a reason why she went cold,ie. Died,accident,moved,family emergency,lost her phone, who knows,but don't put it in your mind that you were one of the reasons.

 

[ubercat]

Drop her a txt in a couple of weeks suggesting a date. In the meantime you're doing fine - get busy plating. You're probably LTR oriented - remember until that 3-4 month mark any chick is just for sex - you don't have a g/f.

 

[guru1000]

Relinquish your ego. Kiss or no kiss, bang or no bang, not every girl is going to dig you. You may have a 7 reject you one day, and a 9 love you the next. It's "the game."

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Coming out of a long term relationship, I found this forum, and have been implementing the advice in my new single/dating life. Results have been pretty good (have a few plates, been on some good/bad dates, etc.)

Anyway, I went on a first date with this girl this past Friday afternoon...I thought it went perfectly. The date went on for 4 hours, I was being ****y funny, saying whatever came to mind without hesitation (cracking sexual jokes, teasing her about her looks, etc.), she was laughing the whole time, we held hands for a while, i put my arm around her, kissed her in the middle of the date, and kissed her goodnight.

She didn't show any signs of low interest/pulling away/denying my advances etc. This date had all the signs of going perfectly.

So I let 3 days go by, never heard from her, so I thought I'd reach out and say hi/set up another date...

she straight up ignores my text (its been almost 24 hours now) ... this coming from a girl that always instant responded when I was trying to set up a date.

The worst kind of 'rejection' is when everything feels like it went perfectly -- all your intuition tells you that you nailed it -- and then you get the girl's cold shoulder anyway.

You spent 4 hours with a chick you didn't know and didn't have sex with her. Not that hard to figure out. Too needy for her time.

 

[Tictac]

You spent 4 hours with a chick you didn't know and didn't have sex with her. Not that hard to figure out. Too needy for her time.

__________

First date, four hours.

Don't do that.

 

[Yewki]

It's on her, dont sweat it. You should focus on how well your date went. Good job.

If you haven't heard from her in like a week, then you can try one more time if you want. But until then don't worry about it.

 

[icantgetlaid]

__________

First date, four hours.

Don't do that.

Technically it was 3.5 hours, but the time just flew by, lost track of it ..

What's the most I should go next time?

 

[icantgetlaid]

It's on her, dont sweat it. You should focus on how well your date went. Good job.

If you haven't heard from her in like a week, then you can try one more time if you want. But until then don't worry about it.

Thanks for the words of encouragement :rockon:

 

[marmel75]

Technically it was 3.5 hours, but the time just flew by, lost track of it ..

What's the most I should go next time?

An hour or hour and a half max...counterintuitive but cutting the date short when things are going really well makes her want to see you even more next time...

 

[G_Govan]

How did you meet her?

If you met her online I'm not surprised.

 

[icantgetlaid]

How did you meet her?

If you met her online I'm not surprised.

Online ... you nailed it ... what is your theory behind that?

 

[icantgetlaid]

An hour or hour and a half max...counterintuitive but cutting the date short when things are going really well makes her want to see you even more next time...

I like this advice...but wouldn't you be losing the chance to get laid if things are really escalating? or do you cut short anyway?

 

[SAYNO]

So I let 3 days go by, never heard from her, so I thought I'd reach out and say hi/set up another date... and then you get the girl's cold .

There's your problem! Always strike while the iron is hot! :yes:

 

[Yewki]

There's your problem! Always strike while the iron is hot! :yes:

After a date most people including myself would recommend against initiating a text or call for a while. It comes across as needy, and typically the girl will contact you first anyways.

I think the OP did well by waiting 3 days to contact her, unfortunately she doesn't seem to be following up. Oh well. Can't win em all. Right now the best thing to do is nothing. The ball's in her court. She either is seeing someone else, doesn't like him, is playing games, or had an emergency... in either case, chasing her is the wrong answer and would be counter productive.

 

[skinnyguy]

And this is exactly why I don't meet women online.

 

[SAYNO]

Nope, it depends on what your goals are. If its a quick lay you want and she's hot (assuming her interest is marginal but she's horny) then probably no more than a day or two. Otherwise I agree, doc love suggests waiting a whole week!

 

[SuckItUp]

Depends on your goals. First dates should top out a 1hr unless you're doing venue changes and part of that is spent away from her talking to other people and women.

The time matters because a four hour first gives the impression you don't have other things to do and gives off the impression that you're are more into her.

 

[walker_hunter2010]

Wow, most of the people here are totally wrong. First you waited 3 days to text her that's a problem. Second the time you spend doesn't matter, but you need to **** her, or she will lose interest. Girls change everyday, im not surprise. whatever you do wont matter anymore she wont Msg you back. I know this from experience did over 10k of cold approaches.

 

[pyros]

I dont think that saying 'whatever' that came to your mind, and cracking sexual jokes in a first date is good you know.
Doing that can only drive you to a bad place. You can say things she doesnt like, things she doesnt get, inapproapiate things...etc. Besides, being sexual in a first date comes as creepy 90% of the time. Save it for when you have had sex.

Anyway, what were you doing in those 4 hours??