The mistress that never was...

[Mr_Stinky]

So this is a strange situation, I am the first to admit but I am looking for some input.

If you think I am a piece of sh!t -- please tell me.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 2.5 years and things have been good. There is truly not much to complain about in regards to her.

Then I meet a girl at work. Initially she would see me 3-4 times a week. Always very quiet. Never really says much and sometimes nothing at all. But in my mind I acknowledge the fact that she is an absolute stunner and I figure she is shy and leave it at that.

Then one day we actually get to talking. Then we seem to be talking on a daily basis. Then she starts dropping hints that she wants to socialize outside of work. I add her on Facebook. We start messaging. Then she starts asking questions about my availability and while I tell her that I do in fact have a girlfriend, part of me is interested in a strictly sexual relationship with this girl.

She has also told me she has been mistress before and in our Facebook messages she mentions that she still wants to fu*k me.

We set up a time to meet and bang but she backs out at the last moment. Says she feels bad for my girlfriend. Then we make plans again and once again she backs out.

In messages she mentions how she wants me but only if I am single.

Last night (after many failed attempts at setting up a time to bang) I told her that we need to stop communication all together, deleted her off Facebook and will be moving on with my life. I have never physically touched her so the worst this could be labelled is an "emotional affair."

The strange thing is even though I know it is for the best, there is still the AFC part of me that wants to continue to torture myself with the "potential" for a bang.

What did I do right? What did I do wrong? And what should I do in the future to deal with this?

Thanks DJ's

 

[dustmuffin]

So this is a strange situation, I am the first to admit but I am looking for some input.

If you think I am a piece of sh!t -- please tell me.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 2.5 years and things have been good. There is truly not much to complain about in regards to her.

Then I meet a girl at work. Initially she would see me 3-4 times a week. Always very quiet. Never really says much and sometimes nothing at all. But in my mind I acknowledge the fact that she is an absolute stunner and I figure she is shy and leave it at that.

Then one day we actually get to talking. Then we seem to be talking on a daily basis. Then she starts dropping hints that she wants to socialize outside of work. I add her on Facebook. We start messaging. Then she starts asking questions about my availability and while I tell her that I do in fact have a girlfriend, part of me is interested in a strictly sexual relationship with this girl.

She has also told me she has been mistress before and in our Facebook messages she mentions that she still wants to fu*k me.

We set up a time to meet and bang but she backs out at the last moment. Says she feels bad for my girlfriend. Then we make plans again and once again she backs out.

In messages she mentions how she wants me but only if I am single.

Last night (after many failed attempts at setting up a time to bang) I told her that we need to stop communication all together, deleted her off Facebook and will be moving on with my life. I have never physically touched her so the worst this could be labelled is an "emotional affair."

The strange thing is even though I know it is for the best, there is still the AFC part of me that wants to continue to torture myself with the "potential" for a bang.

What did I do right? What did I do wrong? And what should I do in the future to deal with this?

Thanks DJ's

Do what is right for you. I think if you are in a relationship you need to break up before pursuing other women. Others here don't feel that way. To me it is just respect.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Do what is right for you. I think if you are in a relationship you need to break up before pursuing other women. Others here don't feel that way. To me it is just respect.

I'll admit there was always an underlying scummy factor I was dealing with

 

[Konada]

I've seen great girls being dropped by dudes in search of the 'bigger, better deal'. Most don't know they got a gem on their hands until they lose it, the world of women is sh!t nowadays, think carefully.

No moral judgement involved here but like what dustmuffin says, do what is right for you. Do you feel happy in the relationship? If not, stop wasting both your and her time, move on to better things in life.

 

[FCB]

If you really wanted to bang her you have to avoid talking about it and just set up drinks after work one day and then just escalate and have a place to take her. Not saying you should,but its probably better that way to avoid all the build up of guilt etc and avoid her trying to manipulate you.

 

[amazingswayze]

well she obviously isnt worth it

 

[Bingo-Player]

Then I meet a girl at work. Initially she would see me 3-4 times a week. Always very quiet. Never really says much and sometimes nothing at all. But in my mind I acknowledge the fact that she is an absolute stunner and I figure she is shy and leave it at that.

if a woman is indeed a "stunner" then you can bet your bottom dollar she knows it

modesty doesnt exist in 2015 and if it does then its rarer than white gold

she likes the idea of you because you are off limits wether she has any actual interest in you is questionable

 

[Bible_Belt]

If your gf was that great, then you wouldn't have wanted the other girl so badly. Try to figure out what it is that you desire that she is not providing. Or else this same thing is going to happen again.

 

[NSX-R]

The only thing you can do is break up with your gf and bang the other chick.

Cheating on her is afc in my books since you are exclusive with her.

 

[YAboi]

Your mistake was making it obvious that you were both going to screw. I find it's best to keep women in suspense. You invite them over casually THEN you make your bold risqué statements and moves NOT beforehand.

Beforehand more often than not you stick to funny subtle innuendos and more importantly you guage the situation and feel the chicks mood and personality out.

If she's risqué you throw some risqué behavior in but never more than she does until you're close enough to actually do the do.

All this being said, "there is a way that seems right to a man but the end of it leads to destruction". Just ask Charlie Sheen. Better to stick to one woman for life in a marriage and have peace of mind.

 

[Desdinova]

Then one day we actually get to talking. Then we seem to be talking on a daily basis. Then she starts dropping hints that she wants to socialize outside of work. I add her on Facebook. We start messaging. Then she starts asking questions about my availability and while I tell her that I do in fact have a girlfriend, part of me is interested in a strictly sexual relationship with this girl.

Your mistake (in making her a mistress) was everything was all talk, no kino. Instead of chatting on FB, you should've taken her out somewhere and initiated kino. Things would have escalated quickly if you did.

If you're actually serious about having a mistress, you need to treat it as a typical seduction. However, I don't think you're actually needing a mistress if you didn't have it in your mind to find one before meeting this chick. I knew that I wanted a lover outside my marriage before I met my mistress, so there was no question about how to proceed once I had someone interested in me.

If you're fairly satisfied in your LTR, then you don't need one. If you're married and are getting nothing out of the relationship, then a mistress is right for you.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Why tell her you have a girlfriend?

That was your whole mistake.