The Missing Link - the most important dating advice you need!!

[Natural Player]

you all haven't heard this kind of advice too often

you are used to hearing "be ****y, be sexual, be this and be that"

WRONG

What you have to be, is BE HONEST

HONESTY is the key to prosperity!


Let's stick strictly to the dating world for now, since that is what this site is about. You will never succeed with girls unless you are as honest as possible.

The BIG problem with alot of guys is, they are not honest to themselves! They try to make other people happy, they are "nice guys" who don't mean or do what they say!!!

They are the guys that don't call a girl for 3 days, even though in all HONESTY they want to call her about 20 minutes, but no!!! they dont call for 3 days and come to this forum to ask for advice......ect.ect.ect.


A man/guy/boy needs to be HONEST TO HIMSELF. You are walking down the street.......you see a girl who is dressed like a slut, what is the first thought that comes into your head??? "wow shes hot, i gotta go talk to her!!!"

BAM

thats your honesty thinking for you...........and THE PROBLEM is, you don't react on your own honesty to yourself, and instead you LIE to yourself, and you do one of 2 things:

1) you get scared and dont approach (dishonesty to what you were thinking

or

2) you approach and you dont show the sexual interest that you were thinking of showing, and as a result you end up being dishonest again!!



when you think about it, EVERY single interaction with girls comes down to motha****in HONESTY.........if you arent honest to yourself, then you aren't playing the game right!

need more examples so you can understand my point? ok here goes....


1) when a girlfriend does something you don't like, how often do you tell her the honest truth about whats up? The truth shall set you free.......don't let some girl get away with anything, WHO CARES WHAT SHE THINKS??? lay down the law, be honest and just flat out say "hey don't talk to that guy, I dont like it, i'm walkin if you ever do it again, understood?? good!"

2) cold approach example - see above

3) on internet dating..........a dishonest man sends a message saying "hi, i found you interesting, i'd love to get to know you better".............girls hate dishonesty, especially if she is HOT and she knows what the guy really wants!...............the honest guy would say "hey how you doing? listen you are absolutely gorgeous and we gotta talk, for your own good whats your screen name/cell number"

(anybody see the difference when it comes to honesty in example #3??)

4) at a club........you know those super hot slutty girls who seem to reject every single guy??? yea they reject them all cuz they are dishonest as hell! they come up to the girls saying "hi, whats your name?" ect ect ect BLA BLA BLA thats NOT THE TRUTH!!!!

the truth is, you gotta go up to these biatches and tell them the honest to god truth..........she looks like a hor right? well tell her whats on your mind!......."hey baby DAMN you look really ****ing hot, how much does a night of your services cost?"

yea, u said to her the 1 thing that every chump that hit on her was THINKING, but was being dishonest to themselves.........the ***** will most likely react badly because she realizes you are onto her........however this is a perfect place to use the push/pull and if she gives u attitude, you just say "relax babe i was just kidding, but u might wanna get a new wardrobe, cuz im the only one honest enough to tell you what every other guy in the club is thinking........whats your name?"

done deal



anyway this is getting too long, so let me recap the main point here:

BE HONEST TO YOURSELF AND ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS, AND THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE NATURALLY

 

[Natural Player]

I forgot to add that, this kind of honesty will build confidence greatly

 

[cyp6]

i AGREE WITH THIS POST

 

[PhatE1vis]

I'm confused.

Honesty is a great policy, but how do you reconcile honesty with some of the "techniques" bandied about here? For example, let's say I honestly want to call a girl more frequently than I should. Wouldn't honesty in this case lead to AFCism?

 

[Natural Player]

I'm confused.

Honesty is a great policy, but how do you reconcile honesty with some of the "techniques" bandied about here? For example, let's say I honestly want to call a girl more frequently than I should. Wouldn't honesty in this case lead to AFCism?

nope

its insecure and dishonest of you to not call a girl whenever you want

if you have something on your mind, and you want to say it, then go ahead and call the girl and say it (simple huh?)

however, calling 10 times in one day "just to say hi" is pretty feminine.

But, calling 10 times for real reasons is just fine, the girl will be able to read your confidence level as long as you are honest with yourself

 

[cNfny]

I actually really agree with this but my one question that comes up is, won't this lead to being too forward which would have a negative outcome?

 

[tmpgstx]

Great post, and honesty about wanting her goes hand in hand with desire. Expressing your desire is a compliment too her provided she is attacted to you. All women want to be disired.

Telling her she is sexy makes her feel disirable to you and that is a good thing. Couple this with charm, and you have her wanting to be around you.

I wouldn't advise getting overly sexual so soon though, asking what she charges for her services would be out of line and wreaks of no class.

 

[Natural Player]

well, you have to be honest to yourself and STOP CARING WHAT SHE THINKS - im not yelling, im just capitalizing for emphasis.

when you stop caring what she thinks, you will automatically appear ore confident, less needy, and less supplicating.

Instead of going up to a random hot girl and asking her some stupid opener (because obviously you arent walking up to her for that), you walk up to her, feel it running through your whole body and mind, feel the goddamn TRUTH of what you want, and say right in her eyes, in a smooth confident manner =

"hey"

oh man, i guess what she'll do is say "hey" back.....damn thats a tough one to swallow....and then you say -

"i wanna tell you in all honesty that i wanna talk to you a lil bit because you are so beautiful/gorgeous/hot girl"

HONESTY - females appreciate it

if she gives u bs how you are too forward, then just hit her back with "yea well im honest, im the most real person you'd ever meet and im tellin you how it is, i dont care if we talk or not, i was just giving you a chance, if you don't take it, then the next hot girl will" - smile and walk away

anyway honesty WILL set you free and you will no longer be living in a painful world of despair, desperation, and anxiety

 

[Natural Player]

another example:

you send out a message on myspace to a girl, and instead of being honest, you instead comment on her profile, use a ****y/funny line, and tease her for no reason (she doesnt know you, wtf does she care how funny you are?) I want someone to please stand up and tell me how often messages like that end up in screen names and phone #s

my approach is the honest approach - tell her you are sending her a message because she is beautiful in your eyes, and you'd love to talk to her if she has a screen name.

if a girl can't appreciate your honesty, then she's not worth the hassle

 

[Tha Realnezz]

The most important lesson is ...women are unstable.So,get used to it..

 

[Natural Player]

You made some decent points here and there, but totally dropped the ball with the example of telling a girl you want to talk to her because she's beautiful or whatever. That's just ego stroking and pedestal placement, which, as we all know around here, is bad form.

In a case such as that, I personally would it find it better to show honesty through a veil of sarcasm...such as telling a really hot girl that you decided to talk to her just because she "seems to have a nice personality," yet somehow using certain non-verbal cues to convey the obvious - that you like her body and how she's all dolled up. That might project a little element of c+f, and at the same time, it can put her on the spot regarding her personality. Does she set out to prove you right by reflecting a good personality or not? If she projects a sh!tty attitude, you could just chuckle and say "Hmmm...guess I was wrong" and be done with it like it was no skin off your back. Either way, the move was one that put the ball in her court and left things more open to a reaction from her, whereas just telling her she's beautiful would probably elicit no more than a "thanks, you're so sweet," and that's it. Maybe I'm completely off with all this, but that makes a little more sense to me for said situation.

if you see a hot girl, and you honestly wanna be sarcastic to her, then by all means do it! However, dont FORCE it (aka if u wanna tell her shes beautiful but you unnaturally end up being sarcastic, a girl will sense that and will be turned off)

 

[Cash37]

I agree with Natural. Integrity is #1.

 

[The Librarian]

Honesty is all well and good once you have your inner game prepared. However, speaking as someone who just got his inner game in order... if you don't have that going for you, honesty is really not your friend. If I had been honest with women.. oh, say, six weeks ago.. I would have said "You scare the **** out of me" and then walked away without any further contact.

Part of Aristotle's theory of virtue states that you are the sum of your actions. Consistantly do brave things, and you'll be brave. Constantly say wise things, and you will be wise. Focus on who you want to be, and be that person regardless of whether or not it requires some dishonesty on your part. Once you are who you want to be, then you can start to be honest.

 

[Natural Player]

Honesty is all well and good once you have your inner game prepared. However, speaking as someone who just got his inner game in order... if you don't have that going for you, honesty is really not your friend. If I had been honest with women.. oh, say, six weeks ago.. I would have said "You scare the **** out of me" and then walked away without any further contact.

Part of Aristotle's theory of virtue states that you are the sum of your actions. Consistantly do brave things, and you'll be brave. Constantly say wise things, and you will be wise. Focus on who you want to be, and be that person regardless of whether or not it requires some dishonesty on your part. Once you are who you want to be, then you can start to be honest.

telling a woman that you are scared of her is NOT HONEST!!! That is only false conditioning, and the HONEST thing any guy thinks about a hot girl is "she's hot" (can it be any more honest than that??)

with that said, i can somewhat conclude that chumps and feminine/pvssy men simply don't have the balls to be honest with themselves

HONESTY IS STILL KEY, its the magical key to opening your doorway to freedom of all bad feelings when it comes to dating

 

[The Librarian]

telling a woman that you are scared of her is NOT HONEST!!! That is only false conditioning, and the HONEST thing any guy thinks about a hot girl is "she's hot" (can it be any more honest than that??)

There is no such thing as false conditioning, only false beliefs. Fear is a phenomenological experience, and inherently subjective. Who are we to tell anyone else that they aren't really afraid? We have no idea what they're really feeling.

I really was afraid of women. Well, that may not be strictly true. I was afraid of approaching and conversing with women, because I was afraid of rejection. Actually admitting this fear to myself (or, being honest with myself if you will) was the first step towards crushing that fear, so I don't see where the problem is with my admission of that fear.

 

[Natural Player]

There is no such thing as false conditioning, only false beliefs. Fear is a phenomenological experience, and inherently subjective. Who are we to tell anyone else that they aren't really afraid? We have no idea what they're really feeling.

I really was afraid of women. Well, that may not be strictly true. I was afraid of approaching and conversing with women, because I was afraid of rejection. Actually admitting this fear to myself (or, being honest with myself if you will) was the first step towards crushing that fear, so I don't see where the problem is with my admission of that fear.

F.E.A.R.

False Evidence Appearing Real

You did not honestly fear talking to those girls, you simply weren't being honest to your true desires!

 

[DJVladdy]

Wow okay someone give me a good reason why this guy, Natural Player, was banned?? In fact who bans members that give good advice. I say ban those who wine about how much life sucks, and those who ask how long to wait befoe calling a bytch

 

[tmpgstx]

Great post Natural, and admittedly true. When i'm honest and don't care what she thinks, tends to open things up. Honesty is confidence because you are not trying to playcate the other person in hopes of some approval you are expecting.