The manosphere is producing unresponsiblie adult men

Stagger Lee

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samspade said:
In many ways, anyone can, actually. The world is littered with ugly or even fat male celebrities who have no problem getting laid, and handsome men who are clueless with women.
I don't know if littered is the right word as how many male celebrities are fat and ugly? And celebrity makes looks and personality irrelevent. Great wealth and fame makes it not even about the man himself.


It's also littered with women who have referred to objectively physically ugly men as "hot." Looks matter up to a point, but Game trumps looks. I don't know why you are so hung up on the opposite being true. If a woman considers you "creepy" then you're doing it wrong and need to improve. (Not you specifically.)
I have never really seen any real evidence that women refer to objectively physically ugly men as hot. I don't say it's just about physical looks but appearance. I'm not hung up on anything, I just don't believe that game trumps looks unless you're defining game as fame and great wealth. I could ask why are you are so hung up on the opposite being true, when probably millions of guys have tried game with little real results. They're all just not doing it right and need to keep chasing their tails I guess. Yeah, they're not looking "right" when they do it.
 
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CollegeLife

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It does seem like this topic is starting to get caught in definitions and a discussion about looks with Stagger Lee. But I think the real question remains about the lessons coming out of the manosphere. And the question originally raised is if one lessons is to just be irresponsible adult man.

A lot of the overt advice of the manosphere points to a implied "no." Self-improvement is a major tenet of the manosphere, else that word would have not been used in one of the latest returnofkings post on the a website back by RooshV, who is one of the largest voices. You can't advise to go bust your ass to improve in life without implying taking on the reins of some kind of traits associated with responsibility. Even the gym means having the discipline to go consistently.

At the same time, as mentioned earlier, there are some stuff that can arguably imply such an impression of irresponsibility/dropping out. The exemplified beta is given the typically explored beta traits, but also usually described, implied, or foil with some kind of traits of responsibility. Use that enough times and you have to start asking if the thing to avoid is not the beta trait explored, but also the other stuff describing the beta.

Let's take BB had created a thread on how to be a HB8 by 30.

And now let's look at a few pages back, where Danger described this:

And perhaps we have a different definition of responsible. By responsible, I mean the children who respect and obey their parents. The one's who actively look for college to go to and do well in school. The one's who play by society's rules and are respectful to adults and to peers.

Lots of kids, responsible and irresponsible, have part time jobs, even just for some spending cash.
The two paths looks eerily similar. And since the typical reader's aim is to avoid beta - anything resembling beta, even in the most innocent form, still looks bad. You don't want to be milquetoast or boring that is explained a lot, but the other traits doesn't look enticing either. Nor results typically said to be the result of a beta - Like finally getting the attention of the girl in the late 20's after left behind by all the other guys. How's that any different from self-improving guy reaching apex in the late 20's? When the aim is to be Alpha and that kinda implies being 1st choice, becoming in demand in the late 20's to late 20's girls, unless similar-type girls have been chasing before, sounds more like the girls got less options than the guys really become 1st choice.

Traits of responsibility is usually required to take some kind of improving most aspects of life. But the manosphere almost always describe betas with traits of responsibility. And when you combine that with posts of working corporate is a way to get screwed. And posts about a super-jerk serial killers (which the point tends to be about dominance, but you can't keep over looking he would not represent any self-improvement trait especially responsibility traits) getting worshipped. And then there's those posts of how's the collapse is coming (it implies working equals keeping the machine working longer).... I think I can see where the impression that the lesson is to become irresponsible. Because it sure as hell sounds like being responsible looks a lot like the path of the exemplified betas. What's the difference? Saying "doing it for yourself" only matters so much if the results are the same.

But, that leads to the the question. Is that impression a valid impression?

All I know after writing this post, I don't feel like marrying a late 20's girl when I'm in my late 20's.
 

Lexington

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zekko said:
I check out the RSD site now and then, but in this case I was specifically talking about here, the DJ Forum. I think with the general philosophy of this place, complimenting would be frowned upon. Surely you must have noticed that the vast majority of the advice here is of a negative nature (for lack of a better term)?
But as you yourself pointed out, this isn't a "pickup" forum, it's a DJ forum.

I do agree that there is a lot of focus on a certain aspect of the playbook on this particular site (and this subforum in particular) but that is not the entirety of pickup.

At RSD, r/seduction and other pickup-focused sites, there is a great deal of info about flirting. Most pickup books go into some detail about flirting.

For instance: Neg the girl,
A neg can be part of flirting. After all, isn't much of flirting simply teasing?

don't pedestalize her, don't let her know you're interested (because she'll lose interest),
I think you'd agree that pedastalizing a woman is usually a bad idea. I'd modify the second part to say don't let her know you're too interested.

Most girls know that if you're talking to her in the context of a romantic/sexual frame, you must have some interest. I think more guys have the problem of showing too much interest than the other way around.

be aloof, don't face her when you talk to her, don't text her, only call her to set up dates, don't answer her questions directly, don't tell her you like her, don't pay for her drinks, don't buy her gifts, don't take her on real dates, be a challenge, make her work for you, don't say I love you, be indifferent, act like you're busy, actually be busy, don't be too available, go fvck other girls, etc. Not that any of that is bad advice necessarily, but the point is that the big focus here is on this kind of thing, not so much on flirting. Even Danger said he didn't think the complimenting would work on a hot girl.
I certainly agree with not buying drinks initially or taking her out on real dates until she has established that she's really into you. Ditto for buying gifts. I think we all know about the sucker who bought some girl a bunch of drinks, or took her out to dinner a bunch of times only to be friendzoned. I'm sure a lot of folks here were that sucker.

As for the rest of it, yes these are items in the playbook. But those aren't the only items in the playbook. At the end of the day, you have to tailor your game for what works for you. For some guys complimenting doesn't work. For others, it does. Personally, I think how you compliment is more important (e.g. rewarding desired behavior, doing it from a position if high value etc.)

At the end of the day, you have to tailor your playbook to what works for you. I liken it to running different kinds of offenses in football. Some teams just like to keep grinding it out on the ground. Others like to line up in the shotgun and keep airing it out. Others have mastered the zone read option.

The "PUA Community" is simply a bunch of guys getting together and comparing notes on what works and what doesn't in the pursuit of picking up attractive women. I think a great deal of it has value. All one can do is study the information out there, try it and apply it as best he can.

I can't speak for everyone, but in my personal experience, reading PUA material and applying some of the tactics and principles has helped me score more tail than I did before.
 

Stagger Lee

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:D
samspade said:
I'm hung up on it because I'm butt ugly!
I doubt you're butt ugly lol. But even so what's wrong with believing it's not all your fault or within your control that you don't get 9's and 10's or whatever. It might not be as hopeful but it can be quite liberating :D.
 

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Stagger Lee said:
But in a nutshell dominance/fame is dependent on looks and appearance. This very study measured for things like facial features, body build, voice etc.
That logic is absurd. In that case the guys who measured high on the dominance scale would have also measured high on the attractiveness scale. They would have had equal numbers of sexual partners because they would have been the same guys. And that's clearly not the case.

Look at Donald Trump, as one of a million examples. High dominance. Low attractiveness.

Look at the character Tony Soprano. Real life women loved his character. Attractive? Hardly.

Warren Buffett could get more poon than all of us combined if he wanted. Anyone who thinks he's attractive should get his head examined.

C'mon man your arguments are so weak.
 

Stagger Lee

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Zarky said:
That logic is absurd. In that case the guys who measured high on the dominance scale would have also measured high on the attractiveness scale. They would have had equal numbers of sexual partners because they would have been the same guys. And that's clearly not the case.
You sort of have an argument here, but this study didn't quite measure actual number of sexual partners, only who the sorority girls said (what's that about what women say?) they would have sex with and who the subject's peers said would win a fight. My point wasn't that attractiveness alone determines the number of sexual partners, but that dominance is perceived mostly visually just as attractiveness is. Behavior and psychological traits were not measured. Also, these frat boys that were considered dominate while not correlated with being the most attractive, were most likely far from unattractive.

Look at Donald Trump, as one of a million examples. High dominance. Low attractiveness.
Wealth, which begets power, status. Anyone wealthy can be dominate towards others. People are naturally subservient toward a wealthy person.

Look at the character Tony Soprano. Real life women loved his character. Attractive? Hardly.
Fake situational character acting on TV and status. That doesn't mean a person who looked liked that could pull off dominance and be loved in real life.

Warren Buffett could get more poon than all of us combined if he wanted. Anyone who thinks he's attractive should get his head examined.
Maybe or maybe not, but wealth and status.

C'mon man your arguments are so weak.
No, your arguments are weak. You ignore the effects of wealth, status and power, and attribute it all to dominance and as if dominance can be attained without something tangible backing it up, just like you ignore the effects of looks/appearance.

But I have a question if you disagree with me. If you're not pulling 9's and 10's, then what's your excuse? If it's not about looks and appearance but about just acting dominate, what you say, or behaving a certain way, in other words game/personality and you know what personality traits you need to be attractive to women, then how hard can that be to pull it off? Perhaps you don't really know what causes attraction? My excuse is a guy can only do so much with a given look and appearance.
 

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Stagger Lee said:
I have never really seen any real evidence that women refer to objectively physically ugly men as hot.
Lil Wayne....short and not particularly handsome. Axl Rose....skinny, drug-addicted and an alcoholic. Married a rich super model. Tommy Lee....scrawny, drug addicted and now in his 40s and still banging hot chicks (after banging several rich, sexy celebrities). Kid Rock. The lead singer from Buck Cherry.

I don't say it's just about physical looks but appearance.
But you agree that appearances can be improved, no? One can change his posture, facial expressions, the way he makes eye contact, his mannerisms, his vocal tonality and the personality he projects.

I just don't believe that game trumps looks unless you're defining game as fame and great wealth.
Thought experiment:

Guy A is 6'4, 220 lbs, well-muscled and is very good looking. He's upper middle class. Guy A goes to the bar and does nothing. He just chats for his friends and waits for girls to come to him. Let's say this is the Meatpacking District....expensive, high end clubs with a lot of rich good looking guys running around. From time to time, girls come and approach him.

Guy B is 5'11, 180 lbs. He's slim and well-dressed. Not particularly a stunner looks wise. Let's say he's average to above average looks wise. Guy B gets after it. Every time he goes to the bar, he aims to do 10 approaches. He's developed an engaging personality through hours of experimentation. Most of his approaches don't succeed, but 10-20% of them do.

Guy A has a hot chick he's dating right now. But Guy B has 4 or 5 hot plates that he's spinning at the moment. Is this not an example of game trumping looks?

Does this seem like it could be a plausible scenario to you?

when probably millions of guys have tried game with little real results.
Millions of guys have tried weight lifting with little to no real results. In fact, I bet just about every single guy you know probably tried going to the gym at some point. How many of them are shredded with six pack abs?

They're all just not doing it right and need to keep chasing their tails I guess. Yeah, they're not looking "right" when they do it.
One could ask, what is your hangup with this notion that game doesn't work? Have you tried game and it didn't work for you?

We don't have data about the success rate of game. Besides, there is no standardized "game curriculum" so to speak so it would be difficult to do an apples-to-apples comparison.

I would love to see someone do a randomized control study. One could take a group of men between 25 and 35 and randomize them to different groups. One group would receive a rigorous "Game course." It would consist of assigned readings, lectures, workshop exercises and in-field outings with instructors. The other group would receive no training. The two groups would then be compared on their performances on a few different outings to bars/clubs.

I would bet that the Game group would have statistically significant better results than the control group. I would define a positive outcome as getting a same night lay or a Day 2. We could also compare how many numbers each guy obtained.

Anybody want to fund a kickstarter project? :p
 

Stagger Lee

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Lexington said:
Lil Wayne....short and not particularly handsome. Axl Rose....skinny, drug-addicted and an alcoholic. Married a rich super model. Tommy Lee....scrawny, drug addicted and now in his 40s and still banging hot chicks (after banging several rich, sexy celebrities). Kid Rock. The lead singer from Buck Cherry.
First of all they are all very rich and famous. It was said from the outset that great wealth, fame and status makes a man's looks irrelevent. Just about any guy could bang a 10 in looks prostitute too with the right money and drugs. Also I think you are underrating these guys' looks and appearance, but the important thing is they are wealthy and famous.

But you agree that appearances can be improved, no? One can change his posture, facial expressions, the way he makes eye contact, his mannerisms, his vocal tonality and the personality he projects.
Yes, this is how one oftentimes could really improve their game. PUA gives lip service to these factors since they touch on everything under the sun, but actionable ways of improving these factors are not receiving the full focus. It would be hard to do through online communications and isn't easy to effectively change your nonverbals and body language.

Thought experiment:

Guy A is 6'4, 220 lbs, well-muscled and is very good looking. He's upper middle class. Guy A goes to the bar and does nothing. He just chats for his friends and waits for girls to come to him. Let's say this is the Meatpacking District....expensive, high end clubs with a lot of rich good looking guys running around. From time to time, girls come and approach him.

Guy B is 5'11, 180 lbs. He's slim and well-dressed. Not particularly a stunner looks wise. Let's say he's average to above average looks wise. Guy B gets after it. Every time he goes to the bar, he aims to do 10 approaches. He's developed an engaging personality through hours of experimentation. Most of his approaches don't succeed, but 10-20% of them do.

Guy A has a hot chick he's dating right now. But Guy B has 4 or 5 hot plates that he's spinning at the moment. Is this not an example of game trumping looks?

Does this seem like it could be a plausible scenario to you?
I'm not going to nitpick the reality of your scenario. Number's game is valid. That's not what's in dispute. Guy B played the numbers game more. My argument is that for Guy B to have the success he had with playing the numbers, his looks and appearance were big factors. Ie, Guy C is 6'1, 190 lbs, seemingly average to above average lookwise and runs similar game tactics but gets 0-1% success rate. I'd say there was something not good enough for women about Guy C's appearance, and you'd say it's his "game". Hell, I am guy C.

Anyway, If people who believe it's all about game meant that game was just a numbers game and lowering your standards then we'd have nothing to disagree with.

Millions of guys have tried weight lifting with little to no real results. In fact, I bet just about every single guy you know probably tried going to the gym at some point. How many of them are shredded with six pack abs?
But that's just it. Game is analagous to weightlifting and shredded with a six-pack is analagous to results from genetics or in other words looks.

I think you're are suggesting that just like everyone who goes to the gym doesn't train right and hard enough to get intended results, so do people who try to game women. But that's the problem. One can always say you're not gaming (training) right/hard enough to get the results (muscles or girls). But in both cases, genetic potential or looks/appearance can and are factors.


One could ask, what is your hangup with this notion that game doesn't work? Have you tried game and it didn't work for you?
Of course I've tried game that's floated around. I was even in a lair for several years. I had to drop most of it. The only connection to increasing picking up of girls I found was number's game, lowering standards and looking better.

We don't have data about the success rate of game. Besides, there is no standardized "game curriculum" so to speak so it would be difficult to do an apples-to-apples comparison.
That's the whole point. There's no standardization of game curiculum and definitions and there probably can't ever be.There's no real data about success rate. My belief is if you approached 100 random girls you would get between a 0-10% F-closes almost regardless of your game approach within reason. Your success rate and how attractive the girls are would mostly depend on your looks and appearance. That's what I believe.

I would love to see someone do a randomized control study. One could take a group of men between 25 and 35 and randomize them to different groups. One group would receive a rigorous "Game course." It would consist of assigned readings, lectures, workshop exercises and in-field outings with instructors. The other group would receive no training. The two groups would then be compared on their performances on a few different outings to bars/clubs.

I would bet that the Game group would have statistically significant better results than the control group. I would define a positive outcome as getting a same night lay or a Day 2. We could also compare how many numbers each guy obtained.

Anybody want to fund a kickstarter project? :p
That would be interesting. As long as both groups were instructed that the goal was to get a same night lay or day 2, I predict you'd find little correlation between game course and non-game course on the number and attractiveness rating of the girls. I think the better looking/appearing guys from either group would do better.

This has informally sort of been done. Lair guys often get left in the dust by other non-PUA guys picking up more and better looking women.
 

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Stagger Lee said:
You ignore the effects of wealth, status and power, and attribute it all to dominance and as if dominance can be attained without something tangible backing it up, just like you ignore the effects of looks/appearance.
No, you're ignoring wealth, status, power, etc. when you say that everything hinges on attractiveness.

You said this:

Stagger Lee said:
It's at least 85-90% visual looks and appearance.
and this:
Stagger Lee said:
But in a nutshell dominance/fame is dependent on looks and appearance.
I pointed out how Donald Trump doesn't attract women through "85-90% looks and appearance." Now you're saying dominance can also be dependent on wealth and status and not entirely on attractiveness? Make up your mind. Your argument is all over the place. And the reason it's that way is because nobody in his right mind who's actually looked around at the world can say that a man's sexual success depends that highly on looks/appearance alone.

The real answer is that sexual success depends on lots of traits. Anyone who tries to boil it down to one or a couple is a fool. It's attractiveness, money, status, height, intellect, where you live, the car you drive, the pitch of your voice, the hair on your head, the hair on your body, your job, self-confidence, what your breath smells like, etc. etc. etc. It's 100 different things. Max out as many as you can. That's all.
 

Stagger Lee

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Zarky said:
No, you're ignoring wealth, status, power, etc. when you say that everything hinges on attractiveness.

You said this:


and this:

I pointed out how Donald Trump doesn't attract women through "85-90% looks and appearance." Now you're saying dominance can also be dependent on wealth and status and not entirely on attractiveness? Make up your mind. Your argument is all over the place. And the reason it's that way is because nobody in his right mind who's actually looked around at the world can say that a man's sexual success depends that highly on looks/appearance alone.
The whole discussion started out about looks/appearance vs game/personality effect on attraction independent of wealth and status. Everyone accepts that women will mate with a guy with enough wealth and status almost regardless of his looks and personality/game, and that wealth and status allows you to act dominate over others. But that doesn't mean the woman would be interested/attracted to the same or similar guy without wealth and status, anymore than a hooker would be interested in having sex with a John without being paid. You bringing up Donald Trump and the rich and famous was just throwing in an irrelevant example.

You can still be attractive to women or be dominate without money and fame, but without money and fame it requires a level of looks/appearance. What is so hard to understand?

The real answer is that sexual success depends on lots of traits. Anyone who tries to boil it down to one or a couple is a fool. It's attractiveness, money, status, height, intellect, where you live, the car you drive, the pitch of your voice, the hair on your head, the hair on your body, your job, self-confidence, what your breath smells like, etc. etc. etc. It's 100 different things. Max out as many as you can. That's all.
But for instance, some good looking broke college guys have sexual success with attractive girls. Many guys get laid without money or status being a factor or with the same as another guy who fails with women, certainly not Donald Trump level. By saying attraction is dependent on everything, you are also denying it's highly dependent on game. All that really matters when you approach or interacting with a female is if you can get attraction or not. That's mostly dependent on your looks/appearance IMO rather than game /personality.
 

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Danger said:
I would wager shy guys come off more as lacking confidence as opposed to indifferent or aloof.

When a girl starts talking to a shy guy, his eyes are going to be facing downwards. This is far from appearing aloof or indifferent.
I'm sure that is quite often the case. However, just because a guy is shy doesn't mean he is necessarily stupid. Even 37 years ago everybody was saying "Be confident! Girls like confidence! You have to be confident! Confidence, confidence, confidence!". So I knew that even though I was shy I was supposed to appear confident. So I faked it. I may not have been making eye contact with the girl, but I made sure I wasn't looking at the floor either. If there was a pretty girl I was afraid to talk to, I'd just ignore her.

I was pretty good at faking it apparently, because a lot of girls ended up telling me they thought I was aloof, or not interested in them, and some just thought I was stuck up.

Danger said:
Additionally, he skipped comfort stage, which is a VERY COMMON mistake among first-time PUA's. Perhaps that is what you mean by "Pull"?
I suppose I would consider comfort and rapport as being "pull". I certainly wouldn't list it under "push". But maybe missing the comfort stage is such a common mistake because it isn't emphasized on forums like this, not the same way the "bad boy disconnects" are.

Lexington said:
As for the rest of it, yes these are items in the playbook. But those aren't the only items in the playbook.
I never said that any of those items were bad advice, I was just saying that the vast majority of the advice here is of that nature. You are correct that if you read other PUA material, different methods will touch more on "connecting" than "disconnecting".

Lexington said:
Guy A has a hot chick he's dating right now. But Guy B has 4 or 5 hot plates that he's spinning at the moment. Is this not an example of game trumping looks?
It depends on what a guy's goal is. You said Guy A shows up at the bar and does nothing. Yet he has a hot chick. Maybe he's quite happy with his hot chick, that he got through zero effort, and living his life without putting a lot of focus on women.

Guy B is clearly driven and motivated to put in effort and have a number of plates to spin, to live that lifestyle. I'd consider both guys successful if they're happy with what they're doing.

But I agree with your general premise that a guy who studies and practices game and approaches is more likely to get results than a guy who does not, all else being equal. For the guy who has not studied game or practiced, it depends on how naturally social he is, as well as whatever attraction factors he may bring to the table.
 

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samspade said:
It's an extreme example used to illustrate a point for men who just don't get it. Most men (and women) find the Boston bomber's acts repugnant and find it unfathomable that a woman would "like" let alone be attracted to him. And yet there are females who admit to exactly that. I believe this has more to do with his celebrity than his deeds, but his celebrity in this case is the result of his deeds. The problem is, a wet vagina is not going to be introspective.

There are also plenty of men who find female attraction to other men unfathomable, and these supposed antagonists may be jerks, criminals, or just plain confident. They don't NEED to be terrorists for this phenomenon to occur. "What does she see in that guy?" is one of the mating calls of the AFC.

Now some say we can't take "terrorists and the women who love them" and scale it down, but why not? There must be something we can learn from that besides that they're "messed up." If these women are messed up, then Eva Braun must have been mentally retarded, right?

The lesson drawn is not that you need to commit acts of savagery to get laid. The lesson is that men who have taken the RISK to commit these acts HAVE gotten laid (or had women throw themselves at them at least) as a result. John Brown, Che Guevara, Osama bin Laden, Genghis Khan. Their politics are irrelevant to hypergamy. The mission of political overthrow or disruption is an extreme and dangerous one, but men don't take risks for nothing.

What an AFC should learn from this is that he can take a risk and achieve glory without going to extremes. All he has to do is play in a band in front of 40 people at a bar, or work his way up to manager, or win an award, to gain some level of fame and status. He can do this through constructive means, but there will be risk and competition and even defeat.

So while it may seem at first blush that someone who commits murder should be the least attractive guy in the room, reality tells us otherwise. AFCs will ask "what do they see in that guy?" DJs will simply roll their eyes knowingly.
This is a very good post. Loads of truth.

Men need to understand that women at the end of the day are just hungry animals. Just like hunger doesn't care about morals.. neither does sexual attraction.

Burn this into your brains men: Women DON'T care about morals!!

The only time morals come up is when women want to gain power or use guilt as a means of control. Otherwise, they are indifferent to right vs. wrong. They march to the beat of the loudest drummer. The man at the top. Whoever that is:

-The man other men fear
-The king
-The "best" in his league
-The one with the most resources
-The physically strongest


How and why a man is on top, scary to others or alpha is not important to women. Just like how and why a woman has a perfect body is not important to men.. as long she gives him a boner its all good. So whatever makes that vagina wet gets access.

Moralizing is truly the domain of the beta faggot. The world and society is still largely a jungle with few true rules. The few who understand this rise to the top while others foolishly "fall in line" and "wait their turn" for their big chance. That chance usually never comes because the rule MAKERS cut in line and take it first. :)

There are two types of people:

1. Rule makers
2. Rule followers

Guess who women get more wet over?

The rule makers are also the rule beakers. They break established rules to replace them with their own. This is high risk behavior so its no wonder women are attracted to it.

The world admires the bold and exploits timid. Women do the same.
 

Lexington

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Stagger Lee said:
First of all they are all very rich and famous. It was said from the outset that great wealth, fame and status makes a man's looks irrelevent. Just about any guy could bang a 10 in looks prostitute too with the right money and drugs. Also I think you are underrating these guys' looks and appearance, but the important thing is they are wealthy and famous.
Yes but these guys also dated/married women who were themselves rich and famous....sometimes more rich and famous than the guys they were with. Thus, money and fame weren't factors for them. Another example would be Russell Brand and Katy Perry. Sure Russell Brand is tall and I wouldn't call him ugly, but he's not usually cast in the "heart throb" role. Katy Perry is just as rich and famous and if not more famous than he is.

Yes, this is how one oftentimes could really improve their game. PUA gives lip service to these factors since they touch on everything under the sun, but actionable ways of improving these factors are not receiving the full focus. It would be hard to do through online communications and isn't easy to effectively change your nonverbals and body language.
I agree that it's tough to give instructions on non-verbals etc. through text. But a lot of PUA gurus and forums promote the idea of filming yourself, looking at yourself in the mirror and practicing improving your body language and posture. RSD for example has several videos on body language and how to improve your subcommunication.

Generally, subcommunication is considered more important than the actual content of what you say.

I'm not going to nitpick the reality of your scenario. Number's game is valid. That's not what's in dispute. Guy B played the numbers game more. My argument is that for Guy B to have the success he had with playing the numbers, his looks and appearance were big factors. Ie, Guy C is 6'1, 190 lbs, seemingly average to above average lookwise and runs similar game tactics but gets 0-1% success rate. I'd say there was something not good enough for women about Guy C's appearance, and you'd say it's his "game". Hell, I am guy C.
Numbers game is a big part of game. Arguably it's the single most important aspect of game. We've talked a lot about negs on this thread, but it seems people have completely ignored that a lot of pickup material deals with getting over approach anxiety, not taking rejection personally etc.

For an average to above average guy to have a 0-1% success rate would mean that he must be incredibly socially inept. I would bet money that if most guys just sucked it up and approached 10 girls rated HB7 and above, they would have some success if only by chance alone.

Hell I remember when I was terrified to do approaches. I was nervous and socially awkward and I used to eject at the first sign that the girl wasn't completely interested. Even then, I could close an HB6s or 7 in under 10 approaches.

Anyway, If people who believe it's all about game meant that game was just a numbers game and lowering your standards then we'd have nothing to disagree with.
No one said anything about lowering your standards. The point is a guy who is a 9, obviously has a better chance of bagging an HB9 than a guy who is a 7 (assuming their level of game is equal). But the guy who is a 7's chances aren't zero. Let's say Mr. 9 has a 60% chance of success and Mr. 7 has a 10% chance (completely made up probabilities). With 10 approaches, Mr. 7 should still be able to land an HB9.

But that's just it. Game is analagous to weightlifting and shredded with a six-pack is analagous to results from genetics or in other words looks.
You get a six-pack if you have around 10% body fat or less (most people have large enough rectus abdominus muscles). Yes for some people, the results are easier to obtain thanks to genetics but just about anyone could get a six-pack and get get shredded if they were willing to put in the time and the effort unless they have some sort of major metabolic disorder.

Getting jacked is simple. Of course that doesn't mean it's easy, but the blueprint is pretty straightforward. The question is whether people are going to have the determination, self discipline and desire to succeed.

I think you're are suggesting that just like everyone who goes to the gym doesn't train right and hard enough to get intended results, so do people who try to game women. But that's the problem. One can always say you're not gaming (training) right/hard enough to get the results (muscles or girls). But in both cases, genetic potential or looks/appearance can and are factors.
Not everyone can be Ronny Coleman or Jay Cutler, but everyone can get muscular and have a low body fat percentage if they train, rest and eat right (barring some sort of metabolic disorder or physical debility of course).

Now is everyone willing to put in the effort? Is everyone willing to go through the pain that's necessary to succeed? Is everyone going to have the self-discipline necessary to stick to a routine and to eat right? Of course not.

It's not easy, but it is possible.

Of course I've tried game that's floated around. I was even in a lair for several years. I had to drop most of it. The only connection to increasing picking up of girls I found was number's game, lowering standards and looking better.
This hasn't been my experience, personally. My success rate with women has gone up exponentially since I started learning about game roughly 5 years ago. Granted, I have also been working on improving my appearance/looks but that usually goes hand in hand with game.

That's the whole point. There's no standardization of game curiculum and definitions and there probably can't ever be.There's no real data about success rate. My belief is if you approached 100 random girls you would get between a 0-10% F-closes almost regardless of your game approach within reason. Your success rate and how attractive the girls are would mostly depend on your looks and appearance. That's what I believe.
And like I said before, the numbers game is a big part of game. That being said, I also think that with more approaches you also improve your social skills and thus you can do a number of things to improve your chances of success besides looking better.

That would be interesting. As long as both groups were instructed that the goal was to get a same night lay or day 2, I predict you'd find little correlation between game course and non-game course on the number and attractiveness rating of the girls. I think the better looking/appearing guys from either group would do better.
I'm sure looks would play a role. I'm not disputing that. But I think the game group would have statistically significant better overall results.

Hey, like I said earlier, maybe we could fund this research study through Kickstarter?

This has informally sort of been done. Lair guys often get left in the dust by other non-PUA guys picking up more and better looking women.
Pickup is about improving your individual success with women. It's no good comparing the results of a much better looking guy to an average or below average looking guy. But if it could be shown that an average/below average looking guy who produced better results with game than than other average/below average guys, that would demonstrate the efficacy of game.
 

Lexington

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zekko said:
It depends on what a guy's goal is. You said Guy A shows up at the bar and does nothing. Yet he has a hot chick. Maybe he's quite happy with his hot chick, that he got through zero effort, and living his life without putting a lot of focus on women.

Guy B is clearly driven and motivated to put in effort and have a number of plates to spin, to live that lifestyle. I'd consider both guys successful if they're happy with what they're doing.

But I agree with your general premise that a guy who studies and practices game and approaches is more likely to get results than a guy who does not, all else being equal. For the guy who has not studied game or practiced, it depends on how naturally social he is, as well as whatever attraction factors
he may bring to the table.
I liken it to being the smart vs diligent student. I'm sure many of us knew those students in high school or college that didn't have to study much or put in a whole lot of effort. They just got it. They got straight As. But there were also students who weren't particularly bright but they took good notes and they studied hard. They too earned straight As.

Obviously, we'd all prefer to be the smart student that didn't have to work hard for it. But that doesn't mean we still can't earn straight As.
 

backbreaker

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I was going to make another thread for this but since this has kinda spawn into like 3 different threads, there is no point. This is another problem I have. this might just me. in fact i would not be suprised if this is just me. but still


I have a female friend through NA. she just turned 40, she's married with 4 kids, really 5 she adopted another. not a bad looking woman. at all.

She like me is in NA, she's got 3 more years than I do however (11). This is what she does for a living. she basically runs a recovery center for dudes who just got out of prison and are trying to get thieir lives together. she LOVES her work and is extremely passionate about it

so the people she works for are ****ing her over with money and promising her **** and not delivering and she doesn't like the politics of the place, so she is about to branch out and start her own service. So, with everyone knowing that i own a business, she came to me for adivce. Today I met with her and went over some stuff / financials with her so that I can develop a business plan so that in turn she can secure the business loan she needs for the place

anyway, as i stated she has 5 kids. her oldest is 18 years old. and if i am not mistaken the oldest has a kid. the oldest is a legit HB 7.5-8. so i am talking with the woman and she is really distraught and i ask her hey what's up anything you need to talk about. she starts to tell me about her oldest and how she is ****ing up and how she is 18 and she's dating a man who is 40 and is married with 3 kids (that is for another thread in itself).

this chick would or should have no problem at all dating dudes he rown age. she's cute. she's outgoing. getting plowed by a married 40 year old.


this is what gets me. why do i care so ****ing much? I don't want to **** the girl. I"m not jealous of the guy. I do feel bad for the momma, but that's not it either. I care on a male / female relationship level. Like, the **** ain't right level. It's like i want to grab the chick and show her rollo's blog or some **** lol.

it's like, i now take every instance i hear about women doing stupid ass **** personally. i don't like that.
 

Stagger Lee

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Lexington said:
Yes but these guys also dated/married women who were themselves rich and famous....sometimes more rich and famous than the guys they were with. Thus, money and fame weren't factors for them. Another example would be Russell Brand and Katy Perry. Sure Russell Brand is tall and I wouldn't call him ugly, but he's not usually cast in the "heart throb" role. Katy Perry is just as rich and famous and if not more famous than he is.
That's not always the case. Rich famous men often pair up with non-rich and famous women. But it's just ridiculous to conclude that because the woman is rich and famous that the man being rich and famous weren't factors. Unless the man wasn't rich and famous, then it absolutely was a factor.


I agree that it's tough to give instructions on non-verbals etc. through text. But a lot of PUA gurus and forums promote the idea of filming yourself, looking at yourself in the mirror and practicing improving your body language and posture. RSD for example has several videos on body language and how to improve your subcommunication.

Generally, subcommunication is considered more important than the actual content of what you say.
Maybe, but PUA also gives non-verbal advice that I think is poorly explained or even flat wrong. Things like don't smile, spread your body out, get up close in people's face etc, or throw a remark to a girl at a 45 degree angle over your shoulder. I knew PUAs that would try to use "confident/dominate" body language that they read and they just look weird and annoying and put people off. I know, you'll say PUA isn't wrong, "you're just not doing it right, bro!" How can you argue with that?


Numbers game is a big part of game. Arguably it's the single most important aspect of game. We've talked a lot about negs on this thread, but it seems people have completely ignored that a lot of pickup material deals with getting over approach anxiety, not taking rejection personally etc.
OK, but as Zekko said that's been around as long as dirt-Be confident, be outgoing, talk to girls.


For an average to above average guy to have a 0-1% success rate would mean that he must be incredibly socially inept. I would bet money that if most guys just sucked it up and approached 10 girls rated HB7 and above, they would have some success if only by chance alone.
Well, I would dispute that a guy with less than 1% success rate has to be incredibly socially inept. Where does PUA game fall into here? Your paragraph is just riddled with vague qualifiers. But I agree a lot of it is "chance". That's my whole point, a guy with a certain level of fundamental attractiveness, social aptitude, playing the numbers game will get some success. That's what a majority of men in the world are doing, without a thing to do with PUA/game.



Hell I remember when I was terrified to do approaches. I was nervous and socially awkward and I used to eject at the first sign that the girl wasn't completely interested. Even then, I could close an HB6s or 7 in under 10 approaches.
But my argument is that you succeeded despite game/personality/mentality issues BECAUSE of your appearance.



No one said anything about lowering your standards. The point is a guy who is a 9, obviously has a better chance of bagging an HB9 than a guy who is a 7 (assuming their level of game is equal). But the guy who is a 7's chances aren't zero. Let's say Mr. 9 has a 60% chance of success and Mr. 7 has a 10% chance (completely made up probabilities). With 10 approaches, Mr. 7 should still be able to land an HB9.
But you just throw things out there. Maybe a guy who is a 9 only has a much less than a 5% chance of bagging a HB9 and a male 7 has less than a 1%. And if you aren't even a male 7, how can you become one? HB9, M7 and M9 are kind of arbitrary terms. Women generally rate men either hot or not. I believe most all men have a much lower success rate with women than you are claiming for all girls let alone 9's. I believe that men generally date down and women date up, and that it is really hard for a man to raise his rating without good looks/appearance. You can disagree.


You get a six-pack if you have around 10% body fat or less (most people have large enough rectus abdominus muscles). Yes for some people, the results are easier to obtain thanks to genetics but just about anyone could get a six-pack and get get shredded if they were willing to put in the time and the effort unless they have some sort of major metabolic disorder.

Getting jacked is simple. Of course that doesn't mean it's easy, but the blueprint is pretty straightforward. The question is whether people are going to have the determination, self discipline and desire to succeed.



Not everyone can be Ronny Coleman or Jay Cutler, but everyone can get muscular and have a low body fat percentage if they train, rest and eat right (barring some sort of metabolic disorder or physical debility of course).




Now is everyone willing to put in the effort? Is everyone willing to go through the pain that's necessary to succeed? Is everyone going to have the self-discipline necessary to stick to a routine and to eat right? Of course not.

It's not easy, but it is possible.
OK but your analogy is bad to begin with. Just about every guy can and knows how to get fit. But even hard working fit guys have trouble attracting women. Unlike many other endeavors, hard work doesn't always get good results with women.


This hasn't been my experience, personally. My success rate with women has gone up exponentially since I started learning about game roughly 5 years ago. Granted, I have also been working on improving my appearance/looks but that usually goes hand in hand with game.



And like I said before, the numbers game is a big part of game. That being said, I also think that with more approaches you also improve your social skills and thus you can do a number of things to improve your chances of success besides looking better.



I'm sure looks would play a role. I'm not disputing that. But I think the game group would have statistically significant better overall results.

Hey, like I said earlier, maybe we could fund this research study through Kickstarter?



Pickup is about improving your individual success with women. It's no good comparing the results of a much better looking guy to an average or below average looking guy. But if it could be shown that an average/below average looking guy who produced better results with game than than other average/below average guys, that would demonstrate the efficacy of game.
OK, but my observation and experience with most guys and game is that their results were mostly from working the numbers game harder and lowering their standards. Sometimes a few guys do really well, but they had a lot of unapplied natural potential with looks/appearance and had decent success with women beforehand.
 

backbreaker

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OK but your analogy is bad to begin with. Just about every guy can and knows how to get fit. But even hard working fit guys have trouble attracting women. Unlike many other endeavors, hard work doesn't always get good results with women.
I don't personally know one guy that i consider to be athletic / in shape / work out as a daily routine that is not have a decent looking GF or has trouble attracting women. I am not saying that to be mean, I seriously don't know one.
 

Stagger Lee

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backbreaker said:
I don't personally know one guy that i consider to be athletic / in shape / work out as a daily routine that is not have a decent looking GF or has trouble attracting women. I am not saying that to be mean, I seriously don't know one.
I've known lots of them, friends, relatives, acquaintances. The gym is basically full of them. Heck, I was one of them at one time. I bet the bodybuilding forum has many.

Having a good looking body helps since I always say it's about appearance, but you still need a good looking face, hair etc.
 

Married Buried

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Stagger Lee said:
I've known lots of them, friends, relatives, acquaintances. The gym is basically full of them. Heck, I was one of them at one time. I bet the bodybuilding forum has many.

Having a good looking body helps since I always say it's about appearance, but you still need a good looking face, hair etc.
I know several fit, muscular, bodybuilding guys who have settled for a used up single mom and her kids. Look at this guy for example, he has all the pics up for free on facebook. He is a personal trainer. She was my BPD ex and this poor guy fell for the con artist:

http://imageshack.com/scaled/large/163/67a8.jpg
 

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Lexington said:
Lil Wayne....short and not particularly handsome. Axl Rose....skinny, drug-addicted and an alcoholic. Married a rich super model. Tommy Lee....scrawny, drug addicted and now in his 40s and still banging hot chicks (after banging several rich, sexy celebrities). Kid Rock. The lead singer from Buck Cherry.
Rock/pop starts, no matter how unattractive, will always have legions of hot women ready to hop on their c0cks. If Mr. Bean was a rock star, he'd be banging supermodels too. And it's got nothing to do with dominance either. You should read the book "Dirt" by the Motley Crue. It explains the concept of rock star appeal to women quite well.

Also, I don't agree with your examples of "unattractive" celebrities. Contrary to what some guys believe, being "scrawny" is not a negative for most chicks, provided you have attractive facial features. Sure, there are women who prefer the roid monkey Jersey Shore look, but they are in the minority. Other than Lil Wayne, all of the guys that you've listed above would be considered attractive by most women.
 
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