The Magic Recipe...

[The Duke]

So you want to be good with women?

You have to advance beyond the THEORY and put it into PRACTICE. You will soon discover what works and what doesn't for you and the girls you go after.

If you stick with it long enough, you discover that the real progress comes from all of those MISTAKES you made.

Don't let your fear of failing keep you from moving forward.

Mistakes make you better than doing it perfectly ever will.

 

[The Duke]

 

[characternote]

usually it's not a 'mistake' that gets you rejected from a cold approach.

You just weren't her type. She wasn't attracted to you

In a magical groundhog day situation where you are able to re-live the exact same approach, the result would likely be the same every time, even if you have the best PUA's feeding you lines through an earpiece or something.

Even worse, you can do lots of things 'wrong', but she'll forgive you if you are her type lol

 

[Serenity]

Accurate. In fact I had to throw out a decent chunk of theory I learned on here because it didn't align with my experience.

Knowledge is useless anyways if not put into the context of experience. I don't use knowledge to gain experience, it doesn't work like that. I use knowledge to help me make sense of experiences I've already had.

I find that it's better to go in blind and just do some stuff to see what happens, then I can sort it out after in my own time. Trying to conform to some idea in the field just restricts me a lot and I don't learn a whole lot from it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

So you want to be good with women?

You have to advance beyond the THEORY and put it into PRACTICE. You will soon discover what works and what doesn't for you and the girls you go after.

If you stick with it long enough, you discover that the real progress comes from all of those MISTAKES you made.

Don't let your fear of failing keep you from moving forward.

Mistakes make you better than doing it perfectly ever will.

I would add getting and keeping your batting average over the Mendoza Line while you rack up your mistakes

(to the non-baseball people, you need some successes mixed in with your mistakes to keep the knowledge base growing)

 

[plumber]

So you want to be good with women?

You have to advance beyond the THEORY and put it into PRACTICE. You will soon discover what works and what doesn't for you and the girls you go after.

If you stick with it long enough, you discover that the real progress comes from all of those MISTAKES you made.

Don't let your fear of failing keep you from moving forward.

Mistakes make you better than doing it perfectly ever will.

not just for women, this is true for everything.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

usually it's not a 'mistake' that gets you rejected from a cold approach.

You just weren't her type. She wasn't attracted to you

or. She’s already taken.

 

[Chow Mein]

20 years ago I read on here something like
“Fear is your greatest strength, it’s also your greatest weakness”

It has stuck with me ever since. Go out and make mistakes, live life the way you want.

 

[jhonny9546]

View attachment 14149

What's the meaning? Sorry I cannot understand it

 

[BeExcellent]

What's the meaning? Sorry I cannot understand it

It means you learn a liitle from theory; you learn some from practical experiences that might be neutral to positive; you learn the most from screwing up/mistakes/errors where you found out not to do THAT again.

As you gain experience you will, over time, come to discern what works for you and what doesn't. That becomes the best experience, because it is applied knowledge individual to you.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

I think it helps to have girlfriends and have intimacy with plenty of them early on in life. The earlier the better and the more attractive they are the better.

Like if you missed making out with girls when you were much younger and in school then you seriously missed out. Same thing as you mature you need to grow up alongside women in your age group and beyond

Yeah and learning from your own mistakes is good, but it’s even better to learn from other peoples mistakes. And never give up.

 

[GoodMan32]

With life in general, I'm a bigtime proponent of the idea that you can learn a lot from failure.

In my case though, where I've failed the vast majority of the time (with the ladies), the question pops up of whether I'm simply not meant to be a ladies man.

Here's an analogy. If a student isn't good at math, it's accepted that he/she just isn't very good at math. You don't get anyone Insisting he/she could succeed in Calculus if only he/she practiced more.

So I don't get why there's this idea that any guy is capable of becoming a ladies man.

Don't get me wrong, even though I've said on the forum that I'm opposed to self-improvement in terms of getting muscular, that doesn't mean I'm opposed to self-improvement in every single aspect. The fact I had a mild victory at an organized singles event back in February goes to show I am improving in terms of talking to/pursuing a woman. All I'm saying is I'm probably never going to become the type of dude who can (for example) escalate my way to the bedroom with a woman I met on the beach.

 

[SW15]

I'm opposed to self-improvement in terms of getting muscular

Getting muscular/a fit physique will benefit most men. However, not all men will experience vast improvements in success with women by improving their physiques.

Multiple other factors are involved like face, height, balding, and personality disorders. Being on the autism spectrum does limit how much muscles can improve SMV.

I don't get why there's this idea that any guy is capable of becoming a ladies man.

I see your point. Some men are going to have a very difficult time becoming successful seducers. I think some men can improve.

Neil Strauss went from a 5'6" balding incel/borderline incel to a successful seducer but I think his results in the seduction community are closer to outlier than the norm.

All I'm saying is I'm probably never going to become the type of dude who can (for example) escalate my way to the bedroom with a woman I met on the beach.

The beach is a tough venue for escalation. Things will vary from beach to beach. For beach daygame seduction, having a top tier physique is going to matter much more than it would at the grocery store or a mall. The escalation ladder would also be different on a beach vs. a grocery store.

I have had little beach experience as I have not lived in cities bordering an ocean. Some lakeside parties can resemble a beach in some more landlocked areas.

I started a good thread in the past about commercialized pool parties. Pool party season is about to start soon.

Getting Laid as a Result of Going to Pool Parties

After using the Search function here, I realize that there hasn't been a lot of discussion about getting laid as a result of going to pool parties. The lay doesn't have to happen on the same day as the pool party, but at some time after meeting a woman at a pool party. Let me be more specific...

www.sosuave.net

 

[GoodMan32]

Getting muscular/a fit physique will benefit most men. However, not all men will experience vast improvements in success with women by improving their physiques.

Multiple other factors are involved like face, height, balding, and personality disorders. Being on the autism spectrum does limit how much muscles can improve SMV.



I see your point. Some men are going to have a very difficult time becoming successful seducers. I think some men can improve.

Neil Strauss went from a 5'6" balding incel/borderline incel to a successful seducer but I think his results in the seduction community are closer to outlier than the norm.



The beach is a tough venue for escalation. Things will vary from beach to beach. For beach daygame seduction, having a top tier physique is going to matter much more than it would at the grocery store or a mall. The escalation ladder would also be different on a beach vs. a grocery store.

I have had little beach experience as I have not lived in cities bordering an ocean. Some lakeside parties can resemble a beach in some more landlocked areas.

I started a good thread in the past about commercialized pool parties. Pool party season is about to start soon.

Getting Laid as a Result of Going to Pool Parties

After using the Search function here, I realize that there hasn't been a lot of discussion about getting laid as a result of going to pool parties. The lay doesn't have to happen on the same day as the pool party, but at some time after meeting a woman at a pool party. Let me be more specific...

www.sosuave.net

If (per your own admission) being an autist limits the success a man can get from becoming muscular, all the more reason I shouldn't bother going to the gym.

As for the beach thing, that was an example I've heard proposed on this forum before. I recall a recent post from a certain poster where he said all you need to do to succeed is pick the right venues (the examples he then gave were beaches, bars, and clubs)

 

[pipeman84]

I think it helps to have girlfriends and have intimacy with plenty of them early on in life.

If you find one woman to have real intimacy with, and this happens early in life, then you're lucky. Plenty? That's impossible. No one has plenty good friends, and to have real intimacy with a woman is a much higher bar than having a good friend.

Same thing as you mature you need to grow up alongside women in your age group and beyond

After a guy reaches mid to late 20s, it makes little to no sense to deal with women his age, unless it's quick sex. Generally speaking they're past their prime from a physical POV and their mileage/emotional baggage is just too much. So what's the point?

 

[SW15]

As for the beach thing, that was an example I've heard proposed on this forum before. I recall a recent post from a certain poster where he said all you need to do to succeed is pick the right venues (the examples he then gave were beaches, bars, and clubs)

Venue selection is important. I've tried to use the venues that make the most sense for me and what I seek.

Selecting daygame venues in the suburbs of most cities is likely a waste of time. Suburbs in general tend to attract married people and people in LTRs. Even in neighborhoods where there are mostly unmarried people, most women 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at any given moment in time.

After a guy reaches mid to late 20s, it makes little to no sense to deal with women his age, unless it's quick sex. Generally speaking they're past their prime from a physical POV and their mileage/emotional baggage is just too much. So what's the point?

Most men can't successfully seduce a woman who is substantially younger. The typical guy in his 30s/40s ends up with a woman in her 30s/40s. That's who he can get either for quick sex or for an extended relationship.

 

[jhonny9546]

Like if you missed making out with girls when you were much younger and in school then you seriously missed out. Same thing as you mature you need to grow up alongside women in your age group and beyond

This is so important.

have real intimacy

This also relate to age. A 15 woman might not have the skill a 30 woman with a child could have, in terms of intimacy. But please define it

being an autist

this is not an issue: similar attracts similar

 

[GoodMan32]

This is so important.

This also relate to age. A 15 woman might not have the skill a 30 woman with a child could have, in terms of intimacy. But please define it

this is not an issue: similar attracts similar

"Similar attracts similar" is true in many aspects.

Not in the case of autistic men. Even a lot of female autists are repulsed by us.

 

[Glassguy]

Good post @The Duke

Myself, I learn better from DOING. Sure I can read something and learn from it. But until I actually do it, I dont really get it.

Its also important to understand WHY something works or doesnt work. If we dont understand why, or at least see the positve or negative outcomes, we continue to do the same thing over until we do understand why we should do it or not do it.

One of my favorite sayings: Knowledge isnt power. Applied knowledge is power.

To many people want to read something and think its going to work for them. Until men actually get out there and grind at something and actually figure out what spin works for them, its just information. Too many men dont have the grit to go out and get after it. They are too lazy. Or they fear rejection. Or its just too hard.

Those men continue to get the same negative results and then turn around and blame the dating game, women, or everything but themselves.

When men take the knowledge and learn how to work it in their benefit with how to tweak it to fit their personality, they will start seeing the results.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

So you want to be good with women?

You have to advance beyond the THEORY and put it into PRACTICE. You will soon discover what works and what doesn't for you and the girls you go after.

If you stick with it long enough, you discover that the real progress comes from all of those MISTAKES you made.

Don't let your fear of failing keep you from moving forward.

Mistakes make you better than doing it perfectly ever will.

This advice reeks of outdated pickup artist tactics, treating women as conquests and reducing human interactions to manipulative games. Such approaches perpetuate misogynistic ideologies, as evidenced by figures like Julien Blanc, whose seminars promoting coercive behaviors led to international bans. Embracing mistakes is one thing, but intentionally undermining women’s autonomy through strategies like negging crosses into unethical territory. Real progress in relationships comes from mutual respect and genuine connection, not from treating women as targets for self-improvement. It’s time to discard these harmful practices and approach dating with empathy and integrity.