The Loveshack/SoSuave Discussion [Merged Threads]

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...blind_otter
This chick is seriously fvcked in the head. You're best to just ignore her since she'll go fvcking ballistic and spew out a bunch of bull5hit that makes no sense whatsoever. It just shows how easily it is to fvck up her emotional state.

A chick that calls herself an otter???? :nervous:

 

[bigjohnson]

Oh that was too cute!

LOL

There are a few women here and yes, as a group we are pretty damn cute.

 

[SoSuave.com]

Although it is admirable to want to help out the guys at Loveshack, we do not allow any kind of "forum war" here. Feel free to keep posting and giving good advice to the guys at Loveshack if you want, but this thread is closed.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Don't you guys believe in a happy medium? What determines the fact that you're REAL men? Is the criteria how many "chicks" you can bed?

You're missing the point. I'd encourage you to look through this site for a bit before you snap to judge. Nowhere will you find a thread suggesting that a man should seek validation in his masculinity relative to the number of women he's had sex with. If anything, quite the opposite. However, your default response is exactly what I'd expect from a guy who's had a lifetime of conditioning to seek masculine validation through constant identifying of himself with the feminine. This is your affirmation.

Please, look around for the good stuff here.

 

[mpimpin]

i assume quite a few LS members will be flocking these boards...

i think what you are missing is that while quite a few members of this forum are looking for a quick lay, how to impress women, etc. are brothers here. the main purpose for most here are to get a better understanding of themselves and not just bed women.

i am an active member on this forum because i feed on being the best MAN that i can be. not just with women, but more importantly family, friends, finances. i enjoy not only educating myself in these areas, but also providing my experiences with fellow "brothers/sisters".

though this site is targeted to "attracting women" there is a more indepth look on how men/women function socially.

Exactly. Reps for you

 

[Quiksilver]

Although it is admirable to want to help out the guys at Loveshack, we do not allow any kind of "forum war" here. Feel free to keep posting and giving good advice to the guys at Loveshack if you want, but this thread is closed.

Wow, this was enough to get Allen to post outside the Mod's Corner for once.

Although I don't agree that it's really a war(ideally), I hope that we aren't arguing over there. I was merely shining light on the dark places of their minds.

However, some of the members here have turned it into a war, and for that I'll respect your decision.

 

[Nighthawk]

The Loveshack/SoSuave Discussion Thread

Ok, Karma has started one at LS, but seeing as they banned everyone else from here over there he's pretty much a lone voice. So I thought I'd start one here and anyone from either site can have a nice little debate.

First, if the Powers That Be don't want this thread, delete it I don't really mind.

Second, if you are sick of this issue go help someone in another thread.

Okay then. I'd first like to address two main accusations that crop up over at LS when discussing SS (apart from the fact that we are probably all Nazis with those initials).

1. Misogyny. Using words like whore and slut. Well, both are word-filtered for a start. But my main point is that these 'hate-speech' words rarely crop up, and never from the most respected members. But is their some bitterness and 'gender hate' at SS. Yes, from a minority. But mostly this place is full of people who love and respect women just fine. But they don't put them on a pedestal, and will use 'locker-room' language if they choose, usually for comic effect. A good look around will show there are not a plethora of 'women are stupid *****es and I hate them' threads.

2. Generalisations. The problem, apparently, is we say 'all women this' and don't recognise they are all unique little snowflakes. Fine, generalizations can be broad and don't apply to everyone. But it's not reasonable to expect people to always make sure they say 'a lot of' or 'many' women do such and such, and conversely when women read The Rules or their Agony Aunts, similar generalizations are made about men. And just because it's a generalization doesn't mean it isn't generally true. And though I bet every Loveshacker will say they've never read The Rules or any of the millions of similar books that sell to women in their millions, I'm sure they have all spent some time trying to figure out men. They just don't like it when men do the same, unless they conclude 'women are just mysterious, give up trying to understand them.'


Ok just wanted to get the ball rolling. Next!

 

[Nighthawk]

I would like this thread to be a reasonable and rational discussion on the differences between SS and LS. The topic has been covered plenty, but perhaps not without heat and insult swapping. So I don't want it to be reduced to a flame-fest by either side.

 

[Kamille]

*squares shoulders, takes a deep breath and walks in*

Karma invited us to ask questions on the LS thread, and wasn't able to answer mine, since it isn't part of the SS philosophy he advocates.

One of the reasons that kept popping up for waging war on LS was that 'Men should only take advice about dating from men who were successful with women'.

I wonder what "Being successful with women" means to you?

Please note that I am well aware that you are as diverses a community as Loveshack is, and that I won't take your answers to be representative of all.

 

[BluEyes]

A man who is successful with women is a man who can--with ease--form a type of relationship that he wants, whether it be short term nsa sex, or long term relationship.

A man who understands that women want to be led, and want their man to be a pillar of strength and certainty.

There is much more, but I'll start with that.

 

[KarmaSutra]

*squares shoulders, takes a deep breath and walks in*

Karma invited us to ask questions on the LS thread, and wasn't able to answer mine, since it isn't part of the SS philosophy he advocates.

One of the reasons that kept popping up for waging war on LS was that 'Men should only take advice about dating from men who were successful with women'.

I wonder what "Being successful with women" means to you?

Please note that I am well aware that you are as diverses a community as Loveshack is, and that I won't take your answers to be representative of all.

When did I not answer you? Read through it again.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I understand what you're trying to accomplish Nighthawk but foundation of LS and SS are polar opposites. I'll even go out on a limb and say that the goals other than getting along with the opposite sex are different on each site. I'm not even saying that one is right and the other is wrong but it's a lot like comparing the needs of Mac users as opposed to PC users. They both have goals of using a computer but the manner in which they want to use them and what they want to produce are different. What is there to gain by attempting some type of integration? We just end up in some bastardized, religion-like wars.

 

[Nighthawk]

I'd say I'm 'successful with women' though I'd hesitate to judge myself in that area solely. Women aren't my only goal of course - but my advice on this forum concerns being attractive to them.

I have many good female friends, always have done, understand and respect them, and have always had lots of choice of sexual partners and had many LTRs with good, strong (always), intelligent (always) women. But enough of my bragging.

Personally I think being successful with women should mean all that. Sensitivity gets a bad rap, and has some negative connotations around here, but being perceptive is a better word.

I suppose a PUA who sees women as a bed-notch, or a thuggy criminal who appeals to the bad-boy fans but doesn't know why, is more 'successful' than a virgin who doesn't understand women one bit, but it's a hollow sort of success. I'm sure you could flip the genders and see what I mean.

Success with women is the opposite of failure with women. Failure comes in many forms, including never getting a kiss, to being manipulated, to being abused. I think a man who is 'successful with women' should have learned how to avoid such failures.

 

[Purple-Haze]

A man who is successful with women is a man who can--with ease--form a type of relationship that he wants, whether it be short term nsa sex, or long term relationship.

A man who understands that women want to be led, and want their man to be a pillar of strength and certainty.

There is much more, but I'll start with that.

What do you mean by this? What does it mean, to a woman, "to be led"?

 

[Kamille]

When did I not answer you? Read through it again.

You said it wasn't part of your philosophy. I really liked your answer and as you pointed out, our attitudes match a lot.

But, during the war and in some of the posts here, a lot of SSers said it was ridiculous to take advice from women and recommanded that guys only listen to advice given by men who were successful with women.

I just wonder what being "successful with women" means.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You said it wasn't part of your philosophy. I really liked your answer and as you pointed out, our attitudes match a lot.

But, during the war and in some of the posts here, a lot of SSers said it was ridiculous to take advice from women and recommanded that guys only listen to advice given by men who were successful with women.

I just wonder what being "successful with women" means.

Understood.

These people (both genders and forums are equally guilty) who plague threads with insolent, onesidedness should be disregarded. Fundamentalists don't want people to grow and learn from each other. Instead they thrive on dissonance and will do everything to keep what they percieve as power.

"The war" is over. Time to rebuild into a learning commune.

I know that being successful with women means being successful and content with the rate of my growth and the happiness I can pass onto another.

 

[Kamille]

A man who is successful with women is a man who can--with ease--form a type of relationship that he wants, whether it be short term nsa sex, or long term relationship.

A man who understands that women want to be led, and want their man to be a pillar of strength and certainty.

There is much more, but I'll start with that.

All right - so what is that men want from women?

 

[reset]

I think I prefer the men's club thing.

I'm gonna review the "war" and see how many women from LS changed their minds or vice versa. Be right back.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Understood.

These people (both genders and forums are equally guilty) who plague threads with insolent, onesidedness should be disregarded. Fundamentalists don't want people to grow and learn from each other. Instead they thrive on dissonance and will do everything to keep what they percieve as power.

"The war" is over. Time to rebuild into a learning commune.

I know that being successful with women means being successful and content with the rate of my growth and the happiness I can pass onto another.

I agree with you.

But it's important to understand the source of rage for these fundamentalists on SS.

One cannot go around perpetuating stereotypes just because their experience happened to be x, y and z.

 

[Kamille]

I'd say I'm 'successful with women' though I'd hesitate to judge myself in that area solely. Women aren't my only goal of course - but my advice on this forum concerns being attractive to them.

I have many good female friends, always have done, understand and respect them, and have always had lots of choice of sexual partners and had many LTRs with good, strong (always), intelligent (always) women. But enough of my bragging.

Personally I think being successful with women should mean all that. Sensitivity gets a bad rap, and has some negative connotations around here, but being perceptive is a better word.

I suppose a PUA who sees women as a bed-notch, or a thuggy criminal who appeals to the bad-boy fans but doesn't know why, is more 'successful' than a virgin who doesn't understand women one bit, but it's a hollow sort of success. I'm sure you could flip the genders and see what I mean.

Success with women is the opposite of failure with women. Failure comes in many forms, including never getting a kiss, to being manipulated, to being abused. I think a man who is 'successful with women' should have learned how to avoid such failures.

Well this would be my definition too. I understand that different people have different perspectives and that for some, success is being able to get bed notches. I'm glad to know that if/once they get tired of that, this site also has posters who can offer solid, respectful, advice.