The Lost Art of Crotch Sniffing

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Well fellas, this is my 200th post!
So I guess this makes me like a SuperDJ or something.
Well golly Gee!
It´s true, I am already feeling....different..
...Confidence, increasing.....
.....whats this?......
..........lingerie models are knocking on my door?

Wow!

But seriously, I have never posted a tip before and it just seems that now the time is ripe. I mean you have Pook with his Pookisms and Fingers with his bloody novels, so why cant I give it a shot?

Yes, my friends, the hour of your enlightenment has finally approached. Forget anything these so-called master DJs have taught you, for to walk my path, you must UNlearn what you have learned!

Without further ado, I bring you...

THE LOST ART
OF CROTCH-SNIFFING


Now, before you think this is a joke let me just say to all you haters out there, that you should try things in the field before you criticize them!

This is a very simple and effective System for attracting and seducing women. I was going to publish this thread as an e-book and sell it for $39.99, but I am smoking crack right now and feeling very generous for some reason.

So here it is...the Holy Grail of Seduction you have waited your whole life to see.

:eek:

Yes, my dear reader, enjoy and marvel at its simplicity!

1. Open her by asking how often she showers. Not only is this a disarming opener, but it helps you screen for filthy skanks.

2. If she passes the opener, neg her for being an obssesive compulsive neat freak. This will get you attraction very quickly!

3. Get her to go on an insta-Date with you in the park so you can chat her up and get her comfortable enough for you to innocently lay your head on her lap.

4. Tell her you like her perfume to balance out the negs you gave her and deepen the rapport/trust factor as you set things up nicely for the next step

5. Run a "natural woman" pattern about how society tries to mask the real odors of humanity and how when you think about it, even farts are a beautiful thing.

6. Keep running the pattern and use some kino on her thigh as you turn your head slightly.

7. Do some "triangular gazing" at her crotch while distracting her with kino and pattern.

8. Go in for the kill and sniff that crotch, because we all know there are few smells more delectable than clean, juicy pvssy!

9. When she complains,screams or tries to mace you, tell her that its not your fault and that her crotch was just smelling so awesome and we should just stop this fighting and blame society for trying to hide our natural essences. She will admire your sparkling intelligence and get turned on again.

By the time you have finished running this routine, she will have been pushed through so many emotions that she will be ready for sex.

So to recap here is a full breakdown of my C.R.O.T.C.H. system

Crazy Shower Opener
Rip her with OCD Negs
Overcome resistance with InstaDate
Triangular Crotch Gazing (TCG)
Confuse her with the Natural Woman pattern
Have a sniff

Yes, yes... I know I am a genius.

No seriously please stop. You dont have to thank me my friends. Just knowing that I have helped a few of you find your way is a reward all its own.

Just remember what women really want...

"There is no finer gift than a real man who sniffs!"

Peace out playahs

The Sniff Master
 

Speed Demond

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YOUR A Freak man!! lol No offence of course...but that's not very cool..she'll think your a ****ed up loonie if ya do that....you'll scare her off dude...like for real...obut i don't believe youd do that..i hope not any ways
 

Julian

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Triangular Crotch Gazing (TCG)

OMFG that line alone made me burst out laughing. LOL Dude im gonna try this...
 

sux2bu

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If this forum had a "WTF" catergory, this thread would be front and center.
 

MVPlaya

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Not exactly what I would call hilarious...

Crotch Sniffer, take note: The Art of Omni-Kino.

Go there and insult the post, if you want...
 
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SIGH

I had a feeling this technique would be too advanced for you amateurs.

At least Julian is willing to try this out instead of JUST talking shyt or laughing at me as if I am some sort of happy little clown all smiling and laughin with you like HHAAAAAhHAHhAHhAHAHHAAA!!

:mad:

You see me laughing bytches?




:p

Yeah, thats me crackin up at how clueless and afraid you little punks are. This technique works like a charm, but it really takes big balls. Something you chumps are clearly lacking.

To MVPlaya, I read your thread. Seems like you just stole the idea from that "juicypoop" fella.

But hey, nice work there! I´d like to meet you in person some day so I can shake your hand and personally congratulate you on your mind-boggling ability to copy ideas!

Great job, Dr.Chuckles!

To the rest of you non-believers out there...


Dont knock it till ya sniffed it. ;)
 

NATHINNICE

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I Likes it

That **** original dawg, anything different is going to work, every don juan knows that, keep it pimpin folk and handle ya pros(he he) wisely.
 

OpenMind

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This has got to be one of the best tips i have read yet. This should be in the Bible.. y even consider spending money or time or a chick if she doesn't pass the SNIFF TEST? these women give us shyt tests all the time.. i think its time to take charge and turn things around on them.. Nothing worse than a crotch that reeks or a scent that penetrates denim! Y beat around the bush when you can just sniff it? great post!
 

OpenMind

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wow, you must be easy. go straight for the licky licky iqqi? good idea lol
 

Imbrondir

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ROFL! This **** is hilarious! But the worst part, is that I believe there is a chance you could actually pull this off. Who know... perhaps very well :D.

I seriously need to field test this, next time I'm out clubbing.

You're my favorite sniffer from now on! :D
 

Jimbo2k

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Re: lol!

Originally posted by DJmonster
Do you actually pull this off? Any examples?
'

great, you got the noobie thinking this is for real :rolleyes:
 

niggah

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LOL TRIANGULAR CROTCH SNIFFING, THAT JUST MADE MY DAY.. LOL LOL LOL


:eek: :confused: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 

thejuice

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Pick a girl...
Youre a funny guy...especially how you busted a poor saps chops because they recycled ideas, eh "juiceypoop"
 
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