the loss of innocence, life sucks

[Big Eee Zee]

hey all, how is everyone doing?

I've been around a while, as many of the senior members may remember. I dont consider myself an AFC, im not a pick uip artist, but i think i know my way around the game.

I'll be honest, i dont know why exactly im making this post, you all cant help me. but i've had a sh!tty day, dont have any cigs, its late and i feel like venting, so bear with me.

I have been with this girl for the past year. Things have been amazing. she is my first, but i am truly in love with her. we have had an amazing relationship. she comes with baggage tho, her parents were divorced so she has trust issues. Also, she is the kind of person that has to go out and do everything in life to experience it for herself.

You're thinking, awesome, right?

Well, no.


I seem to be a "wh0re for commitment", as i term it. I try to live the DJ lifestyle, but i figure it would be better to find a girl that i like, and attempt to be with her for good. I just figure that i could be happier that way. You know, a lifestyle chioce thing. Its just me, but thats the way it is. So i've been talking to my g/f about the future, and we both agreed it would be aweomse if we ended up together. (btw, we're both turning 19 in a month.) So it might be early, but i dont know, i figured it would be nice. It might be a first love kinda thing, but whatever works, you know?

Well, we had a talk tonight, and it seems that she isnt sure. I knew that from the get go, but it seems that she wants to be together for now, but cant say that it wont change. I understand this, and i knew it all along, but it sucks. And thats not the real issue, i just have this hunch that based on her parents breaking up, and her need to go out and do everything in life, that some time over the next year or so she is going to get tired of this and leave.

I guess i should have seen it coming. I am no longer so naieve, i now know that relationships dont go perfectly. They dont last forever. It was a stupid, childish dream and im coming to terms with it. I mean, we're not breaking up, and will probably have a lot more good times with it, but i just get this feeling that it wasn't meant to be forever.

And it is no fun.

Sigh...like i said, no real point for this one. Im just feeling real sh!tty and felt like venting. Feel free to tell me how dumb i am, and how stupid it was to get attached like that. I just really wanted to make it work.
Oh well...

 

[insidious]

EZ - thank this girl, NOW, cause when you're my age you'll see how Wise she was.

If either one of you have doubts at your tender young ages, just STOP. Dude you are only 19 for chrissakes. What the hell are you thinking???

At least one of you sees the light of day. If she felt the same way you do and she was ready to jump in, go for it. The fact she is having qualms about this is really important to your future.

Marry her, go for it, you might as well delete SoSuave from your bookmarks and just visit when your wifey-pooh isn't playing your game

 

[Big Eee Zee]

EZ - thank this girl, NOW, cause when you're my age you'll see how Wise she was.

If either one of you have doubts at your tender young ages, just STOP. Dude you are only 19 for chrissakes. What the hell are you thinking???

At least one of you sees the light of day. If she felt the same way you do and she was ready to jump in, go for it. The fact she is having qualms about this is really important to your future.

Marry her, go for it, you might as well delete SoSuave from your bookmarks and just visit when your wifey-pooh isn't playing your game

See, the thing is i know your right. deep down i know this to be true. I just cant seem to get over it. fvcking typical teenage bullsh!t. I thought i was above it...

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Insidious, when you said, "If either of you have doubts at your tender young ages, just STOP."

Do you mean stop having doubts? or what...

Just trying to clear up a bit of confusion on my part.

And life does get ****ty at times...just gotta roll with it. I try to see it the best way I can. Thats the way I am.
(gf thinks im like that too).

 

[typical]

Heads up man things will get better, and remember if it aint meant to be, it aint meant to be, just let it be.

 

[Wyldfire]

Hey...long time no see. Nice to see you post.

You know...as nice and ideal as it would be to have everything last forever, life rarely, if ever, works that way. What I'm about to say to you won't stop your current relationship from ending...but it might help you feel better about things if it does end.

Our life is a journey along a long a path of lessons to be learned, experiences to savor and opportunities to be taken advantage of. We never know what is around the next bend of that path. The one thing I have learned along my journey is that everything I have faced...both good and bad were experiences that I needed in order to prepare me for what was yet to come. I had to experience pain, heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal in order to truly value and appreciate the wonderful things that awaited me further down that yet to be travelled road. If this relationship you are currently in does't work out it is because there is something bigger and better waiting for you in the future, and this current relationship is providing you something that you will need down the line. Every loss we experience opens a new door. Everything that ends brings the birth of something new. You're so young with so much ahead of you...don't fear change or loss. Enjoy what you have while you have it and make the most of it. It may be gone tomorrow or it may last forever...you never know. You can't really force where it will go. The best you can do is savor what you have while you have it and when it's gone...be open to what lies ahead, because there is so many opportunities to be had if you keep your eyes and heart open to them. Those opportunities and experiences are what makes our journey worthwhile, and if we close ourselves off to them by holding onto things that are meant to pass we miss out on so much and waste the precious time we have been given. You've got far too much ahead of you to let the fear of loss get you down.

 

[Desdinova]

Well, I'm not going to 5hit all over you like you're expecting, but I'll share some experience...

I have been with this girl for the past year. Things have been amazing. she is my first, but i am truly in love with her.

I take it this is your first gf, your first LTR, and the first girl you lay. The first is always the most difficult to get over. Once you get "hurt" a few times, your immunity to heartbreak grows.

Just remember, when you do split up, don't waste years mourning the breakup. That the mistake I made.

(btw, we're both turning 19 in a month.)

Very few women who are in their teens are going to stay with their current bf for the rest of their lives. Once she hits her 20s, she'll likely split and want to go "live her life" before she turns 30.

Well, we had a talk tonight, and it seems that she isnt sure. I knew that from the get go, but it seems that she wants to be together for now, but cant say that it wont change.

It's already starting. She's seeing greener pastures for her 20s, and you're not coming along. She likely has friends who are single and in their late teens/early 20s and are hooked on partying. Women are influenced by their friends (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not) to be part of their group. It's like how one woman has a baby, and her friends follow suit. Hell, women who live together eventually start having their periods at the same time each month!

i now know that relationships dont go perfectly. They dont last forever. It was a stupid, childish dream and im coming to terms with it.

Not necessarily. It's just that young adults shouldn't become involved in LTRs. People (especially women) usually begin to feel the desire to settle down in their mid-20s after the party life gets old and boring.

You are right to expect this relationship to end, because it most likely will. However, the experience you take from it will be quite valuable. Use it as a learning experience instead of a waste of time. The more you experience women, the better you'll become with them. When the time comes for you to really settle down, the woman you choose will be extremely lucky to be with you.