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The latest man-bashing book
- Thread starter WestCoaster
- Start date
( . )( . )
Banned
No YOU dont understand, your debate is that the legal system isnt biased toward women and tens of thousands of men collectively just laughed at you, men who were denied custody for having a penis or on a waiting list to actually see there children (myself included), a list which ironically is also decided by a majority of women when and where etc etc the father can see his own flesh and blood.
Men who were dragged through a feminised legal system through false allegations of rape just because the b!tch got a case of the guilts and wants to keep her numbers down for society and some extra drama in her life.
So dont tell me its not feminised when you clearly have no idea nor first hand experience of what your talking about.
Men who were dragged through a feminised legal system through false allegations of rape just because the b!tch got a case of the guilts and wants to keep her numbers down for society and some extra drama in her life.
So dont tell me its not feminised when you clearly have no idea nor first hand experience of what your talking about.
This is the only thing which youve said that I semi agree with. Except for b!tches work on emotion and there is zero chance of telling whether she will crucify you in court when everything turns to sh!t so your statement was half moot, we should be blaming these beta suckers for actually getting married in the first place is more the point, and pandering to these chicks.
I liked this comment on amazon:
"
My wife bought this book. She and I both read it with an open mind because our son is in the process of a divorce and the courts are clearly biased in favor of his ex-wife who seems to us to be somewhat "edgy." We are both devastated about this.
Well, we were both surprised. Is drexel kidding us? There is not one mention of Single household Methadone Moms, abusive Moms, Single Moms who abandon their children in paper bags on roadsides, Single Moms who kill their children (stats indicate that when a child is killed by a parent, the mom is more likely the perpetrator), welfare moms who attempt to isolate dad from the scene yet clearly want his money and clearly have no clue how to raise a child. No mention of hard statistics that clearly refute much of drexel's premise. All of this and more are, for all intents and purposes, totally ignored.
What is a shame is that drexel manages to insidiously twist fact to fiction for a predetermined goal. An even greater shame - there are so many good books, with not so catchy titles, that need publishing and yet this publisher chose to publish this garbage.
Funny thing is, that when the sons of "maverick moms" are grown, and perhaps end up getting a divorce and then face the bitter and unjust biases of family court (which this very book will support), the maverick moms will be stripped of a grandchild and see their new exceptional sons be destroyed financially, emotionally and personally right before their eyes. Speak to my wife - she will let you know the incomparable pain this has caused her, as well as I.
Don't buy this book - look elsewhere for much better and more objective information/research on the importance of both parents in raising children. I'm sorry I spent my money here as it only supported both a bad author and bad publisher.
David
"
Dead-on...
Hello ( . )( . ): BTW in germany a law has passed that makes it illegal to take a hair from your (?) child for an anonymous paternity test. The mother (!) must agree.
Another post on amazon which would be nice for the "AFC dynamics thread" as well (i.e. fatherless boy = more likely to become AFC "man"):
"
[...]
These statistics translate to mean that children (boys and girls) from a fatherless home are:
* 5 times more likely to commit suicide (especially boys).
* 32 times more likely to run away.
* 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.
* 14 times more likely to commit rape.
* 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
* 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
* 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.
* 20 times more likely to end up in prison. (***Most of our prison population is made up of men who grew up fatherless - surprised? ***This does NOT however translate to mean that most children who grow up fatherless will end up in prison...)
"
"
My wife bought this book. She and I both read it with an open mind because our son is in the process of a divorce and the courts are clearly biased in favor of his ex-wife who seems to us to be somewhat "edgy." We are both devastated about this.
Well, we were both surprised. Is drexel kidding us? There is not one mention of Single household Methadone Moms, abusive Moms, Single Moms who abandon their children in paper bags on roadsides, Single Moms who kill their children (stats indicate that when a child is killed by a parent, the mom is more likely the perpetrator), welfare moms who attempt to isolate dad from the scene yet clearly want his money and clearly have no clue how to raise a child. No mention of hard statistics that clearly refute much of drexel's premise. All of this and more are, for all intents and purposes, totally ignored.
What is a shame is that drexel manages to insidiously twist fact to fiction for a predetermined goal. An even greater shame - there are so many good books, with not so catchy titles, that need publishing and yet this publisher chose to publish this garbage.
Funny thing is, that when the sons of "maverick moms" are grown, and perhaps end up getting a divorce and then face the bitter and unjust biases of family court (which this very book will support), the maverick moms will be stripped of a grandchild and see their new exceptional sons be destroyed financially, emotionally and personally right before their eyes. Speak to my wife - she will let you know the incomparable pain this has caused her, as well as I.
Don't buy this book - look elsewhere for much better and more objective information/research on the importance of both parents in raising children. I'm sorry I spent my money here as it only supported both a bad author and bad publisher.
David
"
Dead-on...
Hello ( . )( . ): BTW in germany a law has passed that makes it illegal to take a hair from your (?) child for an anonymous paternity test. The mother (!) must agree.
Another post on amazon which would be nice for the "AFC dynamics thread" as well (i.e. fatherless boy = more likely to become AFC "man"):
"
[...]
These statistics translate to mean that children (boys and girls) from a fatherless home are:
* 5 times more likely to commit suicide (especially boys).
* 32 times more likely to run away.
* 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.
* 14 times more likely to commit rape.
* 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
* 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
* 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.
* 20 times more likely to end up in prison. (***Most of our prison population is made up of men who grew up fatherless - surprised? ***This does NOT however translate to mean that most children who grow up fatherless will end up in prison...)
"
Last edited:
If both parents always loved their children more than they hated their ex there wouldn't be so many people complaining about how unfair the courts are.
The courts are a lot more fair than many men think. On top of that, contrary to popular belief, single mothers would prefer to have the father of their child/children involved in the lives of the children and have positive interactions as parents.
The problem is that whoever was left in the break up of a relationship involving children usually ends up hating the other parent, wanting revenge and gets hung up on their own feelings, thereby forgetting about what is best for their child.
Now, I was married for 10 years to a man who treated me horribly. He gave me very good reason to leave him. I tried to make it work but he wasn't willing or able to do his part. I left. Our children were very young, their father was an alcoholic who behaved irresponsibly. Yes, I took our children when I left because I was better suited to care for them. Despite the fact that this man was physically violent and an alcoholic, I STILL did my best to include him in the lives of our children as much as possible. I didn't hate him for his behavior towards me or try to keep the kids from him or turn them against him. Of course, he still swears up and down that I did and do that. He's wrong.
Because he could not let go of his bitterness towards me, everytime he would call to talk to the kids or pick them up he would start a fight with me or trash talk about me to our children. Eventually, it got old and I just got sick of watching my children be hurt by his behavior. Discussing things with this man has always been impossible. He isn't capable of letting go of that bitterness. As a result of his inability to love his kids more than he hates me, the judge refused to grant his request for custody, even joint custody. He walked into court with a lousy attitude. He was rude, demanding and behaved like an idiot. This has been ongoing for over 10 years. Our children are now 19, 17 and 15. They all hate their father and refuse to talk to or see him. He keeps blaming it on me when it's genuinely the kids...they're sick of hearing him complain about me when they have seen with their own eyes that he's being irrational and unfair in his accusations. He kept filing motions in court and the kids got their own lawyer appointed to them. They told the lawyer they want no contact at all and why. The judge granted my children's request. Their father doesn't even have joint legal custody anymore and the kids decide the level of contact they have with him, if any. They don't want any contact at all. He brought it all on himself.
I also have a 5 year old with another man I am not with. He dealt with things like an adult and has been absolutely wonderful to deal with compared to the ex. I insisted on joint custody to keep his child support low and if I ever need anything for our daughter and can't provide it, I just call him and he'll make sure she gets what she needs. He doesn't use our little girl to harass try to hurt me like my ex does. He's quite happy with the court results...because he loves his daughter and knows that I love her too and that we have a responsibility to do what's best for her.
Obviously the problem with my ex husband isn't with me because I have no problems at all with my 5 year old's father. It's a shame it couldn't be the same way with my ex husband, because my kids have endured so much pain from his bad behavior and bitterness towards me.
So, the message here is this...
Love your child more than you hate your ex and you'll have a much more positive experience in family court than you will if you are bitter and want to hurt your ex. Hurting your ex only hurts your child, because the child needs BOTH parents and loves BOTH parents. Anyone who wants to hurt the mother or father of their child does NOT love their child. period.
The courts are a lot more fair than many men think. On top of that, contrary to popular belief, single mothers would prefer to have the father of their child/children involved in the lives of the children and have positive interactions as parents.
The problem is that whoever was left in the break up of a relationship involving children usually ends up hating the other parent, wanting revenge and gets hung up on their own feelings, thereby forgetting about what is best for their child.
Now, I was married for 10 years to a man who treated me horribly. He gave me very good reason to leave him. I tried to make it work but he wasn't willing or able to do his part. I left. Our children were very young, their father was an alcoholic who behaved irresponsibly. Yes, I took our children when I left because I was better suited to care for them. Despite the fact that this man was physically violent and an alcoholic, I STILL did my best to include him in the lives of our children as much as possible. I didn't hate him for his behavior towards me or try to keep the kids from him or turn them against him. Of course, he still swears up and down that I did and do that. He's wrong.
Because he could not let go of his bitterness towards me, everytime he would call to talk to the kids or pick them up he would start a fight with me or trash talk about me to our children. Eventually, it got old and I just got sick of watching my children be hurt by his behavior. Discussing things with this man has always been impossible. He isn't capable of letting go of that bitterness. As a result of his inability to love his kids more than he hates me, the judge refused to grant his request for custody, even joint custody. He walked into court with a lousy attitude. He was rude, demanding and behaved like an idiot. This has been ongoing for over 10 years. Our children are now 19, 17 and 15. They all hate their father and refuse to talk to or see him. He keeps blaming it on me when it's genuinely the kids...they're sick of hearing him complain about me when they have seen with their own eyes that he's being irrational and unfair in his accusations. He kept filing motions in court and the kids got their own lawyer appointed to them. They told the lawyer they want no contact at all and why. The judge granted my children's request. Their father doesn't even have joint legal custody anymore and the kids decide the level of contact they have with him, if any. They don't want any contact at all. He brought it all on himself.
I also have a 5 year old with another man I am not with. He dealt with things like an adult and has been absolutely wonderful to deal with compared to the ex. I insisted on joint custody to keep his child support low and if I ever need anything for our daughter and can't provide it, I just call him and he'll make sure she gets what she needs. He doesn't use our little girl to harass try to hurt me like my ex does. He's quite happy with the court results...because he loves his daughter and knows that I love her too and that we have a responsibility to do what's best for her.
Obviously the problem with my ex husband isn't with me because I have no problems at all with my 5 year old's father. It's a shame it couldn't be the same way with my ex husband, because my kids have endured so much pain from his bad behavior and bitterness towards me.
So, the message here is this...
Love your child more than you hate your ex and you'll have a much more positive experience in family court than you will if you are bitter and want to hurt your ex. Hurting your ex only hurts your child, because the child needs BOTH parents and loves BOTH parents. Anyone who wants to hurt the mother or father of their child does NOT love their child. period.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,028
- Reaction score
- 31
No offense Wyld ...
... but why do you keep having kids with men who aren't around? That's not a good recipe for you or the child. After one bad marriage, why have another kid with another bad man, or at least a man who isnt' going to be around or someone you don't want to have around? Makes no sense.
This is the American woman thinking that drives me bananas. (I'm sure bobbob will come in saying it's the right thing to do and I'm just bashing American women ... but really, this isnt' the right thing to do.)
... but why do you keep having kids with men who aren't around? That's not a good recipe for you or the child. After one bad marriage, why have another kid with another bad man, or at least a man who isnt' going to be around or someone you don't want to have around? Makes no sense.
This is the American woman thinking that drives me bananas. (I'm sure bobbob will come in saying it's the right thing to do and I'm just bashing American women ... but really, this isnt' the right thing to do.)
Re: No offense Wyld ...
In my entire life I have only had one fling...or sex outside of a relationship. I was dating the guys best friend for about 8 months. The guy I was dating cheated on me with his best friend's girlfriend. That best friend and I happened to be at the same party shortly after and were drinking. We were talking about what had happened and I guess you say we had some "screw them both" sex a couple of times. We used condoms. Well, lo and behold I wound up pregnant. I certainly wasn't planning on it and seeing as my youngest child at that point was almost 10 years old I really had no intention of having another child...especially in that situation. I don't believe in abortion and would never be able to live with myself if I did such a thing. It turns out that this guy had tried numerous times to have a child and he thought he was sterile. Sometimes I think he tampered with the condoms, to be perfectly honest with you.
Whatever the case...I had another child and although she was unplanned...she was the best mistake I have ever made in my life. She's beautiful and her father loves her just as much as I do. His family loves her and I adore his mom. As for him...he has a history of being too controlling and insanely jealous. I can't deal with that. Because we don't have all that emotional baggage from having a relationship we have a really good parenting relationship. It really benefits our daughter. I would much rather keep things as they are then get into a relationship with him only to have him treat me in a way that I know I could never deal with. In the end, it would hurt our little girl.
Some people view children as "baggage"...but you know what...I don't. My kids make my life better and they provide me a level of joy and sense of accomplishment that nothing else could ever touch. Sure, I struggle sometimes, but that makes me stronger, wiser and more capable in the long run. Anyone who can honestly view all that as a negative is not looking at things wisely. I'm truly blessed and I know that.
I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility and making the most of what life deals you. Things happen that you don't plan on and you roll with it and turn it into an asset and a positive. You view this as a flaw if you like, but I view it as a gift...and it's my life, so there you go.
I was married for ten years and had 3 kids with my ex husband. I got married when I was 18 and was foolish and yeah, I made a bad choice. I also have some wonderful kids I wouldn't otherwise have had I not made that mistake. I love my children and wouldn't trade them for anything.
In my entire life I have only had one fling...or sex outside of a relationship. I was dating the guys best friend for about 8 months. The guy I was dating cheated on me with his best friend's girlfriend. That best friend and I happened to be at the same party shortly after and were drinking. We were talking about what had happened and I guess you say we had some "screw them both" sex a couple of times. We used condoms. Well, lo and behold I wound up pregnant. I certainly wasn't planning on it and seeing as my youngest child at that point was almost 10 years old I really had no intention of having another child...especially in that situation. I don't believe in abortion and would never be able to live with myself if I did such a thing. It turns out that this guy had tried numerous times to have a child and he thought he was sterile. Sometimes I think he tampered with the condoms, to be perfectly honest with you.
Whatever the case...I had another child and although she was unplanned...she was the best mistake I have ever made in my life. She's beautiful and her father loves her just as much as I do. His family loves her and I adore his mom. As for him...he has a history of being too controlling and insanely jealous. I can't deal with that. Because we don't have all that emotional baggage from having a relationship we have a really good parenting relationship. It really benefits our daughter. I would much rather keep things as they are then get into a relationship with him only to have him treat me in a way that I know I could never deal with. In the end, it would hurt our little girl.
Some people view children as "baggage"...but you know what...I don't. My kids make my life better and they provide me a level of joy and sense of accomplishment that nothing else could ever touch. Sure, I struggle sometimes, but that makes me stronger, wiser and more capable in the long run. Anyone who can honestly view all that as a negative is not looking at things wisely. I'm truly blessed and I know that.
I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility and making the most of what life deals you. Things happen that you don't plan on and you roll with it and turn it into an asset and a positive. You view this as a flaw if you like, but I view it as a gift...and it's my life, so there you go.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,028
- Reaction score
- 31
Fair enough, I'm glad you're a good mother.
if a man chooses right he won't ever have to experience divorce.
too often on this site we neglect the fact that there are loving and caring women out there. marriage does not have to end in divorce.
you can live happily ever after. BUT, only if you find a good woman and if you have matured enough to be a good man yourself.
keep walking away guys until you find the girl of your dreams. and not the sex kitten of your dreams, the woman, the whole package, of your dreams.
i dont believe divorce is healthy for children. i think it confuses them and screws up their head in subtle ways.
that said, its a hell of a lot better than an abusive home with 2 parents or something like that.
simple lesson in life guys, better to be patient and do things right the first time. because if you rush into something, you can create a mess that you will never be able to undo.
J
too often on this site we neglect the fact that there are loving and caring women out there. marriage does not have to end in divorce.
you can live happily ever after. BUT, only if you find a good woman and if you have matured enough to be a good man yourself.
keep walking away guys until you find the girl of your dreams. and not the sex kitten of your dreams, the woman, the whole package, of your dreams.
i dont believe divorce is healthy for children. i think it confuses them and screws up their head in subtle ways.
that said, its a hell of a lot better than an abusive home with 2 parents or something like that.
simple lesson in life guys, better to be patient and do things right the first time. because if you rush into something, you can create a mess that you will never be able to undo.
J
KarmaSutra
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
- Messages
- 4,821
- Reaction score
- 142
- Age
- 51
This is as close to Gospel as you can get. I know and I'm proud of fellow Brothers who come here to learn from others of us with life experience under our belts rather than guys who come to skim off the top and just wanna learn the tricks. I think we need to experience different types of women to understand what it is that makes us happy in the long run not the short jog.
All of the help guys can get from Brothers here should be cherished and accepted and , in turn, leave something for the next guy searching to enlighten himself. Everything we learn here and apply to our lives is paramount to weeding out the gold diggers and yardbirds and get what you deserve out of a woman. A healthy, mature relationship that stands a rock solid chance of "'til death do us part".
Karma